Proof that you can take the boy out of the East End, but you can’t take the East End out of the boy (not snobbery I was born a Cockerney), comes with the much-tattooed, bearded, raddled, publicity-loving David “PLEASE give me a Knighthood, Guv” Beckham. The ageing footie star celebrated his 50th birthday this past weekend, along with his chavvy, skinny wife, a former poster model for famine relief, and all but one of their offspring. Dave’s problem is that he chose to have his knees-up, not in the East End hovel he came from, but a more upmarket area where the neighbours don’t appreciate all night karioke and hot dogs, and throwing up on the pavement, and they called the council who “advised” them on how to conduct their party (“shut up and fuck off”) I assume.
The silly bugger still thinks he is an entitled twenty year old footballer, and seeing how that is failing he is trying to turn his kids into little mini-me’s – I can’t see yoofs being as impressed by a little pansy called “Romeo” or “Cruz”, as they did with plain old Dave, in his pre-undercracker advertising days. They all have the same ugly tattoos and sense of entitlement. I suppose Dave and the missus are hoping the kids will look after them when they reach their dotage, which doesn’t look that far off now:
Nominated by : W. C. Boggs
His kids look like they are inbred.
Ugly fuckers, aren’t they?🤣
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Well, look at the raw material that went into the making of them!
Afternoon, Norman.
8
Afternoon, Jeezun.
You’re right, of course.
An Essex Boy (by any other name) with the IQ of a fruit fly.
And, Skeleton from Super Ted.
9
Sorry.
Afternoon, Jeezum.👍
4
Turd’s are not there to be pollished.
2
Mrs Terry told me that the daft cunt had started dying his hair,eyebrows and beard to try to remain yoofull..
To quote Jimmy Hill “Thats the mark of an outright cunt all right”..
On the same “celebrity” bus as Katie “Black Hole of Calcutta” Price.
Very decent footballer once upon a time,always amazed how these buggers still court attention,why not just enjoy the money?
Oh and shagging his wife must be like getting it on with a deckchair.
12
Aa the great Ron Atkinson once said about Francesco Totti…
‘Tell you what. That kid there, he looks a bit of a twat.’🤣
8
I remember what George Best said about Beckham, Tez.
‘He can’t tackle, can’t head a ball, he has no pace, and he can’t dribble. Other than that, he’s alright.’
15
Splendid Norman,simply splendid.
4
Now reaching half a century, why not relax and take up pipe smoking. You’ve a reasonably good pipe cleaner by your side.
10
I bet she’s just desperate for him to get a knighthood, so that she can call herself Lady Beckham.
Afternoon all.
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Afternoon Ron / all.
I recall a ‘Reader’s Letter’ to Viz Comic back in the day which went something along the lines of:
‘If Posh Spice is so posh, how come she looks like dog’s dirt?’.
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What ho Geordie
4
With all those tattoos becks should get a Hiv test, like Rodney did.
And here’s hoping both are positive.
So four kids out of a anorexic skeleton, fair play to him.. I would rather fuck a pile of broken plates.
10
Taking her up the arse must be like putting it into meat slicer 😂
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Or, if you are “blessed” with having a micro penis, a pencil sharpener.
3
The noise complaints were probably because the spindle shaft was entertaining the guests with a song.
Yes, I’d have complained as well.
6
As the late great Linda Smith titled them:
Thick and Thin
Enf of the pier meets end of days.
8
All that money and a threadbare bargain rug.
9
A bit of a twat.
He could cross a ball accurately but his free kick and penalty taking was overrated.
He had some success but that was only because he took an awful lot of them.
Percentage wise he was not very good.
When he was playing for los merengues maricones he would get himself substituted if it looked like the game was going to be a penalty shoot out.
He obviously couldn’t take criticism.
His marriage has lasted the test of time with the anorexic Posh.
Credit to them both.
I don’t know what the criteria is for getting a knighthood.
I suppose that he deserves one the same as the bunch of nobody’s that get awarded them every year.
Phil Taylor, the multiple World Darts Champion, never got a gong either.
8
These cunts represent the worst of British.
Instead of chasing a knighthood and listening to his publicist, Dave could have improved his reputation no end if he’d put in the hours beating up his sons and selling his offensive wife to one of his despotic Arab mates.
And she’s a right miserable cunt. I’m sure if I’d managed to amass a fortune despite being totally talentless I’d be grinning like Diane Abbott at a free ‘all-you-can-eat’ fried chicken event.
Frankly I’ve seen more attractive dogshit.
The worst thing about the Beckhams, apart from her singing, his tattoos, her fashion-sense, looks, their greed and her relentless self promotion, is their legacy… a new breed of hyper cunts, who through a diabolical mixture of genes are destined to torment and infuriate the public for yet another generation.
Best we can hope for is that they follow the Geldof children’s excellent example and take to hard drugs in a serious way.
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“Frankly I’ve seen more attractive dog shit”
Did you bake a cake out of it??
😂😂
Only joking around
4
Thank you for your polite enquiry.
I initially slow bake a batch of my award winning shit cakes organically overnight, deep within me bowels, ready to serve moist, warm and fresh directly from my pile infested arsehole of a morning straight after breakfast, come rain or shine.
A very different batch I bake later using a conventional oven, the active ingredient on this occasion being shit of the Humboldt Gold variety.
I would strongly advise against baking cakes using the shit that is Victoria Beckham.
5
Since I wrote the nomination of course there has been all the soap opera publicity of Dave and the oldest son falling out with mum and dad. This week at the Chelsea Flower Show, it was reported that Dave and Charlie (the KIng) had a long heart to heart about errant sons. There must be a Knighthood in it next year. There is an idea though – the new Chas and Dave – rabbit, rabbit
10
Bollocks to him and bollocks to Skeletor.Nobody cares Dullards.
8
The most boring people on the planet.
All the charm of finding a condom in your trifle.
A unsmiling skellington
A weird voiced footballerist.
Fuck em
10
My father said ” get a trade” you’ll never be out of work..aye he was right. I’ll never have this little nest egg either…
https://moneyweek.com/investments/david-beckham-net-worth
7
In a dark dark town, there was a dark dark street.
In the dark dark street, there was a dark dark house.
In the dark dark house, there were dark dark stairs.
Down the dark dark stairs, there was a dark dark cellar.
And in the dark dark cellar, Skeletor Spice lived.
8
does my hair look alright?
Said David in his ickle voice.
7
Phew, that’s a relief Harold.
For one moment I thought you were taking us on a tour of Cunt Engine’s love dungeon.
6
There’s no way on G0d’s green earth I’d go into Cunt Engine’s house, nevermind his dungeon.
Probably end up as some sort of human centipede monstrosity.
5
Harold@. On our recent holiday to Wiltshire, Cunt Engine tried to lure me and Ethel to his place, for a meal.
He must think I was born yesterday.
I told Ethel she could go if she wanted to :o)
The Beckhams are fucking awful, the idiot and the Belsen lookalikey should never have been allowed to breed.
Who, int heir right mind would give her one ?
Now Joan Jett, who is 66, I definitely would.
Take it away Joan…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HONFeMNXW0U
Good evening.
4
Joan wouldnt let you Jack.
Shes a fish supper.
You could maybe pop a thumb up her hoop
But shed be thinking of Suzi Quattro.
https://youtu.be/7SXWgC0SLCA?si=416Aq2etEq_0jdG5
2
That Davey Beckham has spoilt tattoos for me. 😕
Him an that down syndrome Robbie Williams.
Tattoos used to be a bit rebellious.
Now its ducky celeb cunts and simpleton footballers covered in ink!
Go back to dancing to stock Aitken and watermelon you bunch of fuckin squares!
Last time i was this upset was when the KKK took. My baby away
https://youtu.be/KOde4D6Qc0w?si=LwBev74vXcn2kWns
2
I’ve still got me copy of Can the can.
Fook me, 52 years ago.
I wonder if Joan ever fucked Cherie Currie ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EBvXpjudf8
2
MNC@. I know, such a shame. I’d invite her round for tea and a scone.
But it would be a waste of a scone.
Fuck it, i’ll have two.
I definitely would have invited sweaty Wendy round for a Special Cream Tea…..
Not a great looker, but she was very supple, with a nice arse.
Oh, and a dirty mouth.
Good evening.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzEXbPgdOJc
2
Funny i was thinking about wendy O and the plasmatics the other day,
One band that modern kids dont seem to of rediscovered.
Heres My and Missus Miserables wedding song.
https://youtu.be/76BSQ5TkDFc?si=VRLR3DqXUtgKxW4L
1
Wayne / Jayne….now there’s a blast from the past.
Hehehehe
1
Footballers, like members of the British Royal family, are renowned the world over for their considerably below average IQs.
They are the sort of cunts who queue up to look at a box that the Queen is supposedly in.
They imagine by doing this they will somehow end up with a knighthood.
By their logic the other 250,000 forelock tugging twats who also queued up to gawp at the queen’s box would also be knighted.
No?
Thick twat.
That said, he clearly deserves a gong.
Because possession of a knighthood is the sure-fire mark of an establishment arse licking CUNT.
Fuck him and his sub-primate family.
0