Having a look around today and I spy my Calor gas hoses are looking past their best. While I’m at it cop a look at my trusty blowlamp. Fuck me that does look grim.
After an online search I saw a local avert for hoses. Ideal only a couple of miles away. Go over and ask. I can sell you two metres of hose. Me that’s no good I want five metres.
Well if you show me your Gas safe card I can sell you as much as you need.
Don’t be silly say I, I’m retired now. Sorry I can’t sell you it. Fine stick it where the sun don’t shine then.
Fucking jobsworth cunts.
Nominated by : CuntyMort
Maybe go back looking like you’ve come from the local call to prayer and. You could buy the shop
8
Why is there a photo of my Tailor’s shop in the header pic ?
How about trying to purchase online ?
Most things seem to be available, mainly from China.
Good morning 👍
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They are tossers 🤦
7
Barry Gibb will be after you for that comment,Edward.
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Isn’t the gee-gee now dead against it.
3
It’s probably not the shop clerk’s fault. The owner will be licensed to sell this shit (more tax) and selling not in accordance with his license will see fines and a ban.
Blame the Government.
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I call it ‘paying for other peoples sins’ and we do it all our lives.
Some cunt(s), somewhere did something stupid and/or illegal in some way.. and eventually a rule was built around the wrongdoing that the 99.5% of folk who have or would have nothing to do with whatever charlatan behaviour have to toe the line with such nonsense as the above, increasing the inconvenience/cost to ‘us’.. (cost : as in now you have to involve a 3rd party).
If the party line is ‘such and such’ is to keep Joe Everyday safe from himself, … pffft. I was reading about Lee Rigby last night. Wasn’t much done big picture to keep him (or anyone) safe from that kinda thing …
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probably gasses himself in his car and the plod decided if they changed the law to buying only a 2 metre length it would have prevented it…or something like that no doubt
4
It’s this fuckin manny state.
Can’t buy owt.
Knives, swords, crossbows,
No wonder that modern men are such pansies.
Try buying vetinary supplies!
Antibiotics for animals.
Need a vets prescription and download it.
Why?
In case you go round curing sickly animals like St Francis?
What harm can you do?
I ordered some of that sheep bluing spray for a cut on the dog.
Must of been the work experience kid that sent it without getting a vets OK.
They mithered like fuck afterwards,
Can I send proof,
Bit late once I’d got it?
Cheated the vet out of a fee😁
Fleeced him.
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Nanny state.
5
Moving in to the new house, me & the Missus decided to do a bit of a medicine cabinet basic effort from scratch as part of the supermarket shop. Tou know? .. Plasters, Savlon, few bandages, Lemsip, pack of Anadin … nope!
Paracetamol in both the Lemsip and Anadin. You can’t buy them together.
You have to choose one.
Then it’s perfectly fine to finish the check out, and buy the omitted one as a single item. Or go from fucking shop to shop on the way home buying one of each (each) in every one…
Reason?
Some people have suicided using more than one paracetamol product.
😐
It’s the dumb of it I hate the most.
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You may have fleeced the vet this time Mis, but he’ll fleece you back many times over.
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Oh no doubt Geordie!
He’s picked my pocket on many occasions.
Nice to do him out of one though😉
4
Some years ago the mother of a friend of my wife topped herself with paracetamol. She simply did a circuit of the local pharmacies buying the maximum they would sell to her at each one. On the rare occasions I’ve bought paracetamol, when they ask what quantity I want I always give the same smart-arse answer, “The smallest please, my headache’s not that bad.”
5
MNC..
BBC News – Parking chaos and poo: The price of Mam Tor’s popularity – BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz0119xgzxyo
3
Just came past there today Doc.
Been in Castleton.
Cars all along Rushup edge had been given tickets for parking like twats.
1
One of the greatest benefits of the internet was the wiping out of these rigged markets. I well remember the time when I was refused a stat for the fridge and an extractor fan(!) because I wasn’t “in the trade.” Now I just order anything on the net and it turns up at my door the next morning, sometimes the same day. Also a bigger range and cheaper.
And the shops go down the toilet. Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind.
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The whole of society is geared to protect mongs from themselves. Gibbering, drooling retards clogging up what shops remain, barely able to communicate and stinking of sweat and piss. Their carers are little better, pandering to the half formed whims of quarterwits who believe in fucking unicorns and wear rainbows. Stay safe, cunts. .
Good morning, everyone.
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The best laugh is I spent my working life in the gas industry. I have probably forgotten more than some of these no nothing twats will ever know. I was asked how are you going to make sure there are no gas leaks? HMM let me see leak detection fluid works for me.
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But it’s much more exciting using a naked flame Cunty. That’s what I used to say to folks who questioned me working on live electrical mains, “It’s more exciting this way.”
I once gave a straight answer of; “It’s knowing where to put your fingers.” when a young woman questioned me in such activity. She smiled sweetly and acknowledged that this was what mattered, knowing where to put one’s fingers. I really should have followed up on that one…..
8
The biggest laugh I had was on call once. This appliance stank of gas. Swamped the offending appliance in LDF no nothing. Rang up the supervisor, he came out lit match woof, singed facial hair. I nearly pissed myself laughing.
Embarassing for him when he had to explain to the boss how he got the new hairdo.
4
A man who lived near us in the eighties Cunty decided the best way to clean something was to scrub it in petrol. He put the plug in the kitchen sink, poured in a gallon of unleaded and set to work. His wife walked in, remarked on the strong smell of petrol and lit the hob. The windows were blown out and we heard the bang inside our house 500 yards away. Remarkably neither were badly hurt.
1
It’ll be Trumps Tariffs,that’s what it will be.
Just like everything else.
How awful.
Good morning.
6
At the Chemists of the future….
‘Hello, I’d like one of your Green Dream DIY Home Euthanasia Kits.’
‘Certainly sir. We’re doing a buy one, get a second one half price offer at the moment. Would you like one for your wife as well?’
‘Oh go on then. And while I’m at it, a couple of boxes of paracetamol.’
‘Sorry sir, I can’t sell you that.’
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Guten Morgen meine kleinen Fotze !!
@ADMIN – Vielen Dank for the header pick ! — That`s my demure retirement lederhosen business kaput for sure now when the local ᛋᛋ come nosing around.
Ich weiß nicht, you try and blend in with community …
🛒
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I thought of you straight away when I saw that Adolph.
I always reckoned those burnt remains in the bunker probably belonged to some mere flunkie. And there’s the proof.
It’s what we Englischen call hiding in plain sight. Gut gemacht!
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Out of interest Heer Schicklgruuber, have you had a visit from the imposter Heer Leikner down at your local club by any chance.
1
I had a similar problem sourcing a length of hose long enough to reach from the exhaust pipe to the inside of my car.
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In the end I just gave up.
6
A similar thing, went to the bank to deposit a wad of cash into my account. Where did you get that?
Asks the till girl.!
I have a barbers shop, was my retort.
Accompanied with a withering look that made her realise her existence was pointless..!
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I don’t know if you saw it Doc but someone posted on here a while ago that when he drew a wedge of cash out of the bank the girl on the till asked what he wanted it for. With great presence of mind he replied; “Guns, drugs and whores.”
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Hi CuntyMort,
Did admin think you were interested in hosiery and that’s why a clothing shop was the header ?
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Damn, outed.🤣🤣🤣
2
That shop is in India, & hasn’t paid the gas bill for years.
4
& it stopped providing Harry Hewitt with fancy dress outfits some twenty years ago. How times have changed?
1
just buy three lengths & join them all together with some copper pipe inserts & some jubilee clips – Job done!
5
That’s a functionable workaround, LS, but one – the added effort, and two .. technically now several more potential fail points, when the one piece hose would have just … oh, I know, .. it’s stating the obvious at this point…
Semi-similarly the rotary saw nowadays comes with tan annoying unremovable blade-covering safety shield AND a safety button besides the trigger. It takes 3 cable ties to bypass/nullify the meddlesome pains-in-the-hole. 😇
4
My mitre saw is similar. I ripped off the shield as it got in the way. Wearing goggles, tin gloves & a hard hat it’s now safe to use, at arms length.
2
Yes Cuntemall, anything like that these days would need to be tested, & risk assessed by a Gas Safe engineer
3
Its annoying when they won’t slip you a length, just when you’re most likely at the point of gagging for it.
6
Back in the 60s we used to go to the local hardware store for tins of Sodium Chlorate, so dad can kill weeds.
Immediately mixed it with sugar….
6
Now that brings back memories..🔥
2
Nice picture of MAGA headquarters.
2
Well, now, .. if *that* doesn’t draw Cuntster from out of the woodwork, then nothing will …. 🙂
2
It’s the same with Sigma Aldrich and the like, Lab suppliers will only sell their interesting wares to registered businesses and not the amatuer rocket enthusiast for fear of things falling into the wrong hands.
I’ve been making rockets and pyrotechnics for fun since I was about 14 but just procuring some raw materials is taking the fun out of it now.
Ironically, a big exercise starts this week on the local rocket range to rub it in, The government inviting other governments to come over and play with big rockets!
1