The First All Female ‘Crew’ Since 1963

 

Pop star Katy Perry comes out of the capsule in

A cunting for the first all female crew since 1963

I have just witnessed the most pointless ‘piece of history’ , a crew of 6 women including Katy Perry went up to the edge of space, start to finish the whole thing lasted 11 minutes. Yes that’s up, hang around for a few seconds then back down

The ‘mission’ leader was some plastic faced tart who happens to be the fiancé of Jeff Bezos.

Now to be fair it’s something that isn’t without risk although this wasn’t the first flight of blue horizon, it has been tried and tested with no issues so it isn’t the maiden flight type of risk.

What is actually annoying is that this nothing more that a joyride, no scientific interest, no new breakthrough so what is the big deal, it could have been 6 monkeys or 6 sacks of sand.
The description of the 6 as crew is a bit of a stretch, they have zero control of anything and other that the G force (no more than a high end fairground ride) the training is pretty minimal.

The crew are now technically Astronauts 😂, I would prefer a much more accurate description

PAYLOAD – the load carried by a vehicle, particularly an aircraft or spacecraft, that is not essential for the vehicle’s operation itself. This can include passengers, cargo, equipment.

I would say that if offered I would go for the ride 😂

Daily Fail

Nominated by Sick of it.

55 thoughts on “The First All Female ‘Crew’ Since 1963

  1. ‘Sisters are doing for themselves’ etc, etc.
    Except they aren’t.
    Did a wimminz design the space craft?
    Did a wimminz build it?
    Did the wimminz control it?
    Did a wimminz fund the whole charade?
    Like fuck!
    Did the wimminz passengers gain their wealth and status by sucking the right cocks during their careers?
    Highly fucking likely.
    And they see themselves as strong independent wimminz.
    Do me a favour.

    • It’s that age old “I don’t need a man” shit. Apart from when you need xyz fixing, need wars fighting or need firing into space. Bunch of crusty spunk trumpets, who are now on the moan about the backlash. I genuinely hoped the thing exploded, untill I realised we’d never hear the end of it.

      • Maybe when the advertise for an expert on rockets, they didnt specify if was metal of flesh these women were precise with. I thinkKaty Perry has seen more rockets therefore than all of mission control.

  2. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
    Drifting through the wind
    Wanting to start again?
    Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
    Like a house of cards
    One blow from caving in?

    The wise words of Katy Perry astronaut.
    Probably after drinking ‘dizzy juice’ and waking up to find herself married to don’t take NO for a answer Russell Brand.

    She’s lived a life worth living.
    Been to space (sort of)
    Been married (sort of)
    Only thing left to do is jump a tank full of sharks on a motorbike.

    Fingers crossed…

    • Hi Mis, talking of wimminz we don’t like (even if we would) so not completely OT, saw Bridget Phillipson on the box last night. Never heard her speak before but you’re dead right, she snarls. Horrible.

      • Morning Arfur👍

        Horrible isn’t it?
        She’s like a dog barking or something.

        And always says ” after 14yrs of tory…”
        Fuck sake.

  3. Cannot see why Katy Perry being weightless for a few mins would generate such a tide of vitriol. I was surprised the knob end rocket didn’t explode two mins after lift off.
    Always admired her décolletage.

  4. The previous thread had fizzled out before this bit of footage from the landing came about….

    …. so the 6 dozy bints actually had ONE job to (not) do … they were to to wait in the bell end after landing for that Bezos chap to ceremoniously open the capsule door with a bespoke door-opening wrench, for the meeja to lap up.

    And what did they fucking well not not do?

    Yeah.

    Like fucking children rushing to be adored, at least one of the cunts – not stopped by the others – fucking opened the door. jesus christ. A fucking staffer had to intercept & pull the door closed again, so JB could pretend to open it, as if what had just happened would go unnoticed. Duh.

    This moment was like a kids school pantomime in its brutally poor execution, and this can’t unsee it pathetic ending (as per link) .. if it wasn’t for the billions upon billions of dollars spent overall, .. to get to ‘that’ moment, that is.

    You just can’t teach class, y’really can’t. I would not trust any of this ‘crew’ with a parachute on their own, letalone a single element of control of anything crucial/technical.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lCYqTsUXc78&pp=ygURQ2Fwc3VsZSBkb29yIG9wZW4%3D

    • Scrub that. I *would* hand the cunts perfectly-packed, functioning parachutes with which to undertake a mile+ jump.

      There’s a 50/50 chance any of them will pull the wrong ripcord – despite a 5 step system built in to the routine to prevent that happenstance.
      (“Look, locate, peel, punch, pull”)

      This whole thing looked like make-a-wish for wealthy women with terminal spazmoidosis.

      • oops. Lest I get a cunter killed .. that’s actually the reserve drill (also designed to save ya by cutting loose failing ‘chute #1, before opening the reserve one).

        Brought to mind a good punchline from long ago, though… the one with the falling plane with the 5 people on board being the US president, the pilot, the world’s most intelligent woman, the pope and a boy scout .. but only 4 parachutes between them.

        ” ….and the boy scout says to the pope I think we’re both going to be ok… the world’s most intelligent woman just jumped out of the plane wearing my rucksack”…

      • Keep ’em coming Cuntemall. I love reading these arcane titbits from other folks pastimes. I think I’ve posted a few myself.

  5. To think these lassies went further into space than the fictitious men’s flights. The only worry was the risk of their plastic tits exploding.

    • Katys ex husband Russell Brand is in court today.

      Due to arrive shortly by taxi.

      Only occasion where the passenger is a bigger sexpest than the cabbie!

  6. I would have offered my wholehearted support if they had all been bollock naķed..

    And their evil Overlord Bezzos had released a rabid frothing Space Baboon into the crew compartment as they “achieved” orbit.

    That would be stellar.

    The untalented thick harpy cunts.

    Good morning.

    • I see they had a couple of Sheeboons there as part of the ‘crew’. I wonder if they both attempted to consume deep fried chiggun and a waddymelon on the edge of space?

    • Russell Brand just arrived at Westminster magistrates.

      Paparazzi everywhere.

      Gets out of the taxi,
      Wearing sunglasses and shirt unbuttoned to his navel the cunt.

      Guilty.

      • Ron@

        Im just surprised he didn’t flash the crowd a peace sign ✌️

        A sure sign of a wrong un.
        ( unless it’s Winston Churchill)

  7. I do have to correct myself, the flying phallus is blue origin not horizon but it’s still pointless.

    I heard somewhere on the news that Perry is now regretting the performance because of all the shit she is getting 😂

    • Andrea jenkyns Reform UK wins mayoral seat of Lincolnshire.

      She used to work at Greggs.

      Literally got her fingers in other pies…

      • Just seen an interview with the woman who won in Runcorn, Sarah Pochin, her nose looks like it has been on the wrong side of an Amesbury straight jab

      • Sicky @

        I thought the same!
        Like a nose that Wurzel Gummidge had carved from a carrot.

    • Good!

      What a pity she didn’t have a long think about it before she said ” Yay! I’m in!”

      Vacant-headed Valley Girl and cunt.

  8. Can’t decide which is the more yawn inducing.
    Bints in space
    Or the Pope’s funeral.
    Hard one to call.
    Fuck them.

  9. Mission leader has reported that there was a incident during the flight..

    Here is the transcript from the Captains log…

    Katy Perry : Captain I have smudged my make up.
    Lauren Sanchez : attention all crew, initiate zero gravity make up repair.

    Katy Perry : Thank you Captain, that could have destroyed the whole mission.

  10. 🎶Amazon control to minor celebs.
    Amazon control to minor celebs.
    Take you ozempic and put you lippy on.
    Amazon control to minor celebs.
    Check ignition and may OK magazine’s love be with you.

    Amazon control to minor celebs.
    You really made the grade.
    And Instagram wants to know what dresses you wear.
    It’s time to comeback your six minutes are up.
    Minor celebs to amazon control.
    Time for baldy bezo to open the hatch.🎶

  11. Guten Morgen, meine kleinen Raketentriebwerke !!!
    🚀🚀🚀
    My old mate Wernher von Braun would have been impressed by the sheer 💥THRUST💥 of the giant Schwanz containing Damen, and no mistake.

  12. It’s an outrage!

    There should have been at least one tranny among that so called crew.

    Maybe I missed it?

    So much for diversity being our greatest strength.

    Never mind, at least blacks were over-represented.

    As usual.

  13. Would have been a right laugh if their silicon cans had exploded.
    Jeff B would have forced to clean up the mess.

  14. Six shallow tarts sent nearly into space aboard a rocket powered dildo as a demonstration of girl power, comedy gold.
    It could of been so much better, like a reverse of the Titan sub implosion but with the windows blowing out instead of in, “Ooh look at the moon”…BANG!-Schloop.
    Nice 😃

  15. As if that piece of shite prop ever went anywhere fuck me lost in space was more real, look at the size of the windows not good in pressurised capsules and that fucking cardboard door opening oh do fuck off.

  16. Katy Perry needs my “payload” directly down her throat. Might stop the bollocks that spews out of her mouth. Come to think of it, maybe I should also force my meat sack down there

  17. Their astronautical training consisted of getting in and out of the capsule, practicing putting their seat belt on and ringing a bell.

    😭

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