So this is what we have become. The cradle of the industrial revolution, the world’s first industrial superpower, reduced to an American theme park.
This pile of tacky shite is to be built on the site of what was once the world’s biggest brickworks, sacrificed some years ago to the Green Gods. And here’s Rodney, Rachel from Complaints and lardy Nandy celebrating our country’s decline into a playground for the educationally subnormal.
Ultimately 8000 jobs coming Bedfordshire’s way apparently. So that’ll be 8000 media and diversity studies ‘graduates’ dressing up as Shrek to amuse the hordes of cretinous fuckwits and their feral offspring. Meanwhile Universal will relieve said fuckwits of a month’s disposable income in one day. What a great benefit to the country it will be.
So let’s turn the whole of Britain into a theme park as that’s the way we’re going. Get culturally enriched and play ‘Dodge the Machete’ at the Notting Hill Carnival. Visit the Birmingham Soft Play Centre where the kids can bounce up and down on mountains of overflowing bin bags. Play the Government’s new lottery game – ‘Guess the number of migrants today’. The possibilities are endless.
When I was growing up I felt proud to be British. Today I’m just embarrassed.
Nominated by Geordie Twatt.
I see this as another Disneyland Paris, a byword for being a bit shit whilst feeling like you should have just gone Orlando rather than put up with second best. Although Disney did used to be famous for touching hearts now they just want to touch your kids so fuck them too.
11
Theme parks are for knobheads.
I wouldn’t be seen dead in one.
Fairgrounds are different.
The food, the smells…
Heaven would smell like a fairground.
Diesel and fried onions..
Jesus on the dodgems
God having a hot dog..
6
Not even if someone came up with ‘Gravyland’ ?
Imagine a log flume…..with gravy!
3
Oh yeah, Gravyland is different.
That’s cultural.
1
My company was contracted to do the design work on the new park’s roller coaster. After tweaking the stress, strain and finite element analysis calculations on the ejector seats, we have engineered the prototype to launch the following patrons into space when the tracks reach their zenith of height and velocity:
-Fat cunts
-Trān§bumders
-Dārkıes
All English families will have a lovely safe ride.
6
Will there be any height restrictions, Tombo?
🎢
5
Indeed there will be, SB.
Only patrons under 5′ or over 6’7″ will be allowed on the ride.
It’s only fair.
4
Places invented by sceptics. Took a wild guess before mentioning it. Thick cunts. Its free at the museum of knowledge.
2
The British Empire was the largest ever, spreading industry and civilisation across the globe, look at the state of the countries after we relinquished control. Official end was in 1997 when Hong Kong left, also the year Tony Blair came into power. Rejoicing an American Production company opening theme park is pitiful. Being the dumping ground for the worst of the worst from shitholes we used to run is even more insulting. Slightly off topic ramblings…
5
Guten Morgen, mein leckerer Apfelstrudels !!
You have to start somewhere, Herr Tvatt.
I mean there would be no Butlins if it wasn’t for my original Konzentrationslagers.
🎪🤡
7
If you care to research your history, Adolph, you’ll find that we Britons invented the Concentration Camp (Konzentrationslager) during the Boer War. You sauerkrauts were just indulging in cultural appropriation 40 years later.
Bosch contribution to human development at the time amounted to filling airships with hydrogen (yeah, great idea). Frankly you lot should have just stuck to dressing up in gay, leather shorts and shoving a bratwurst up your arsch.
By the way, isn’t it time you came out of the closet Adolphine?
6
Those boer afrikaans fellas didn’t see the funny side of British concentration camps.
But then they never see the funny side of anything
The humourless bastards.
I think it’s because they don’t wear long trousers till in their 40s.
2
We weren’t much better to be fair, R101, with a steel frame and diesel locomotive engines it could barely lift itself, never mind, let’s fill it with extra hydrogen and go off to India, with catastrophic results.
It’s a shame though that we don’t have something similar today, we could send Starmer and Millibrain off in it.
2
Being engulfed in an electric vehicle conflagration would surely be the most fitting end for Professor Milliwatt.
Either that or being cleaved in two by an 80 metre blade falling from a Chinese-made bird mincer.
1
Indeed Geordie, especially if it was caught on camera for us all to enjoy,
🎶The answer my friends is…SCHWITT!!
Nice.
0
I had my doubts while reading the article, sorry the news article, .. but then towards the end an octogenarian and a warehouse worker’s mildly positive views were quoted, so I’m sold on it now.
The politicians blurbs further up were infantile level shit, laced with spin.
4
WanKeir’s idea to keep us quiet. The cunt will be sorry when families realise what the government are up to.
3
Looking back to 1945 or turning ourselves into a modern joke – that is Britain 2025.
However, if the government care to get in touch with Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited, we might be able to offer some help and suggestions, We could have an adult section with a blue cinema, plus selected acts from the Steaming Pussycat Club, Soho, live, all hosted by a bevvy of lovely naked Labour lovelies. Topless go-go and a chance to see a previously unreleased Dirty Ange feature – “Open Wide” (It’s set in a dental surgery of course).
On a serious note, this monument to banality is being built on the former site of a brickmaker. I thought they needed millions of bricks for Dirty Angie’s million plus houses. Daft cunts, aren’t they?
6
Those American chaps are going to be in for a frightful shock when they get their first electric bill,they aren’t used to Miliband pricing you see.
Then again,fuck the lot of them.
Good afternoon.
5
We already have a theme park.It’s called Westminster 🤡🤡🤡
6
What’ll be even more of a novelty will be this supposed 500-room hotel, one where paying patrons can book in and stay.
5
Get out you miserable cunts…fun,fun,fun all the way with our rejoicing cabinet being front line greeters…
2tk as the camp kommandant.
Ang as a ‘kiss my hutch’ losers prize.
Wes on the ‘oooh 🦆y win a rimming’ stall.
Lambo on the ‘guess the country by throwing a 🥥’.
Professor reeves selling raffle tickets with buy 1 get 10 free offer.
Eddie on the food stall selling only 🥓 butties made exclusively with 🌬️.
Jess as the mudslimes co-ordinator making sure of a constant supply of meat is available. (Untouched)
Various liebour backbenchers roaming around promising ‘you’ve never had it so good’.
Roll up,roll up welcome to the UK’s brand new ‘universal credit Muppet theme park’ …wheeee 🎢
4
“2tk as the camp kommandant.”
…. and they don’t come much more camp than that quare little Mandy cocksucker!
1
When completed it’ll be opened by Starmer to an exciting 5-4-3-2-1-Yaaay, it works?
2
What a load of complete twats/morons we have, and have had for decades, in charge of this no longer green and pleasant land. The indescribably thick and idealistic cunts wouldn’t allow a coking coal mine to be opened in Cumbria. It would have provided well paid jobs, security of energy supply and reduced import dependency. Our last proper steelworks almost closed forever due to lack of raw materials ( fuck off, China, you wanted it to close). What do we get instead? An overpriced and overhyped playground for entitled idiots and their mindless offspring.
7
They couldn’t run a village bring and buy sale
1
Hopefully by the time this monstrosity is built and opened, no cunt would be able to afford tickets to it.
It will then close and the buildings and attractions will sit there rotting and growing moss and mildew – a fitting tribute to a rotten-to-the-fucking-core gormless cunts we are having to suffer who are masquerading as a government.
4
I have fond memories of going to Wicksteed Park in Kettering with the school and riding on the huge pirate ship.
Alas its no more. Sold off to a businessman from Kosovo of all places and replaced with a carousel.
1
Barry Island and specifically the Log Flume for me. But that poor cunt that used to be paid to walk around in the beige cartoon-style-dog suit (a poor man’s mickey, I guess) .. 3 y.o. me stalked that poor bastard all the day long whenever we went there. Obsessed with the poor fucker, I was.
(As an Irish cunt, I now regret the use of the phrase ‘poor man’s mickey’ but what’s done is done).
2
Off peak it could become the Labour Circus. It will do for Bedford what the Luffwafte did to St Paul Cathedral, but think of all the attractions:
Bearded Lady Jess Phillips as ringmaster (with whip) will introduce STARMO the white faced clown, EMILY THE STRONG ripping up phone directories, DIRTY ANGE with her speciality act – her twelve performing dogs and a bucket of water, RACHEL and her knife throwing act, DAVE LAMMY and his banjo plays some of those old Paul Robeson favourites, and last and by all means least YVETTE, the smallest woman in Parliament, but perfect in every detail. Except one
If you get the lucky ticket you get to pour custard down Starmo’s trousers and throw a custard pie in his face.
I promise you they will be crystal clear and laser focussed to bring you fun, fun, fun – Release the sausages, let the fun begin.
3
Gormless goons
1
Construction expected to start in 2026 so that will be 2028, finished by 2040 😂
I am sure it will be sustainable and eco friendly and very expensive.
2
At least 5 times over budget.
3
I prefer somewhere with a model village.
Or fibreglass dinosaurs.
Both part of my childhood.
I’m not into rollercoasters
Too American for my tastes.
Ps
Last night I saw Donald Trump giving a speech.
The atmosphere was electric
The crowd going wild.
He puts on a good event.
Anyway the crowd was full of banners and placards
MAGA
USA
That sort of thing.
But one person had his USA sign upside down 😂hehe
And I thought
That cunt used to be on Isac.
3
Yes this will probably be awful. But would we rather it goes to France? Instead, a deserted corner of Bedfordshire will be turned into a tourist attraction drawing people from all over Europe and creating 8000 jobs. Sounds reasonable to me.
It’s not as if the whole of England is being converted into a theme park – just one small rural corner in the rather dull county of Bedfordshire. The service, entertainment and tourist industry is vast and we should not neglect it. No one is suggesting that it should replace industry and manufacturing, but I see no harm in this park at all, although I personally would not be seen dead in it.
0
MMCM, With respect, I suggest temporary, ill-paid seasonal “jobs” in the main.
2
But industry and manufacturing are exactly what it is replacing, MMCM. The world’s biggest brickworks to be precise, which was closed for environmental reasons. Instead we’re importing bricks for Mucky Ange’s 1.5 million immigrant slums of the future from the ch*nks, whose environmental standards are way below ours.
I’d rather have a brickworks employing skilled, well-paid workers who gain some self-respect from their work over a fucking theme park employing seasonal, minimum-waged drones.
0
I imagine this is the sort of scum that these ghastly “theme parks” attract:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/34705522/secret-greggs-shoplifter-sausage-rolls/
0