Ever met a missionary?
Wed sometimes get them in the 70/80s knocking at the door.
Not the pith helmeted bewhiskered ones like Dr Livingstone
These were Osmond looking cunts from America bringing us the word of God.
North Sentinel island is populated by uncontacted tribesmen.
They are resistant to visitors and not particularly friendly.
In 2018 a American Evangelist john chau went there despite it being illegal to do so,
Putting the stone age miserabilists who lived there in danger.
They have no resistance to modern disease.
They met John on the beach and rather than discuss religion they slaughtered him with spears.
This year a American has been arrested after going there and leaving the natives a can of coke as a international symbol of brotherhood.
I’m betting stone age people isolated from the world don’t appreciate Coca cola?
Or smallpox,
Or flu,
Or fuckin doorknockers mithering about Jesus?
Leave the antisocial twats alone!
If you don’t get the message after a spear in the belly?
You’ll never take the hint.
Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt
What a pity Blue Origin didn’t return to Earth and land on North Sentinel Island.
That header pic’s a bit gratuitous Admin. Do we really have to see Wesley Streaking and her husband in action?
While looking for pictures of missionaries, I stumbled into that truly awful depiction of missionaries doing missionary. It seemed too good/awful to waste. Sometimes when looking for header pics you get mentally and emotionally scarred, so I’m happy to share the wealth. You’re welcome – NA.
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Missionaries?
For best results, boil alive in a big pot.
Dance around for approximately 20 minutes.
Serve in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
Can be eaten cold.
Fuck them.
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Hopefully all of these chumps catch 🐒pox
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Who the missionaries? 700 Muslim missionaries landed today.
The lying smarmy cunt Starmer should be sent to visit Sentinel island.
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Farcical 🤡🤡🤡
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Even the big chief of North Sentinel Island has got a sign on the front door of his mud hut saying ‘No Jehovah Witnesses. Trespassers will be eaten’. Some things are universal.
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Labour Party councillors canvassing this month could learn that lesson..
A spear in the guts or a brick thrown in your face is best avoided.
North Sentinel island is probably the only place that the population of the world, that doesn’t know Rodney is an Islamic cock slurper.
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I like the North sentinelese.
OK they’re bone in nose savages and probably don’t wipe their arse.
Buc…
They don’t come here on dinghies looking for free stuff and a hotel bed.
They’re antisocial as fuck
Wise!
If some bible licking yank with big white teeth came through my beautiful bespoke country cream gate
“hey buddy! The Lord sent me!”
We’ll he’d be lying.
God knows how well I get on with yanks
And God knows I’ll set my dog on him.
God’s little joke on up both.
Id get that bite looked at,
Looks nasty that…
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It’s a pity the cunts don’t live on the Kent coast to wellcome the religious ponces we have turning up
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Only one place on Earth more dangerous that North Sentinel Isle for one of these absurdity-peddling waste of life busybodies to come a knockin’ currently, …. the door of Chateau Cuntemall …
Historically : my favourite opener (to 2 JW cunts at 10am on a Sunday morning), ever, .. before the word went ’round to give my gaff a miss …
”I take it by the magazines in those satchels you’re carrying that you’re both able to read’?
We can.
“So then it’s pure ignorant bad fucking manners that saw ye open and come through a gate with a ‘Turn Around You Are Lost’ instruction on it .. So take your fucking Watchtowers and Fuck Off”
The dumb, vapid cunts.
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Sorry ; went with a jovah’s witlesses story .. they were I the white shirt/black slacks getup though. No straw bonnets though.
And as the 2 cunts in question sauntered casually down the driveway after finally getting the message, .. I 100% DID warn them to pick up the fucking pace voluntarily or I’d release the dogs out the front door and do it for them! (My dogs have no bad in ’em but cunts don’t know that
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A Jehova’s Witness incident from many years ago.
There was a knock at the door, one of my sisters answered it, after a couple of minutes we heard the door close and she came back into the livingroom laughing her head off.
‘who was it?’ she was asked.
‘the fucking Jehova’s Witnesses’
‘what’s so funny?’
‘well’ she said ‘they started with their spiel and I said, sorry, not interested, I’m an atheist, it’s what one of them said next that cracked me up’
‘what?’
‘Are you a practising atheist?’
I usually find that telling them either that you’re a communist or satanist rapidly gets rid of the annoying buggers, though no doubt your address then ends up on a little list.
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Never, EVER, let them away with that ‘so you’re an atheist, then?’ line …
Fuckin’ stupid cunts reassert their nonsense to themselves with a line like that. It dictates, by it’s throwaround use, that there ‘is’ an all-loving omnipotent(ergo a sadistic fucking cunt) deity, but this ‘atheist’ just doesn’t believe in it.
As opposed to the bunch of questionable I.Q. witless fucking morons believing in & promoting an imaginary creation.
Man I love the pre-chorus to Marilyn Manson’s ‘The Fight Song’ …. ‘I’m not a slave to a god that doesn’t exist’.
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No need for hostilities.
I’d open the door naked,
My huge member semi erect and dripping pre cum,
“Ah! Yes yes do come in!
We’re celebrating the harvest,
Are either of you virgins by any chance?”
Won’t be back.
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Now there’s an image I don’t want in my head while I’m trying to eat my cheese and marmite sammich
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We could do with some of those North Sentinelese joining our Borderforce.
If it’s ok for them to spear some unwelcome mong for fear of the pox, it should be perfectly acceptable here.
In fact, I’d argue it’s even more justified for us.
We can’t build immunity from being stabbed, raped or blown up.
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The fucking cunts came round mob handed just after the floods in Valencia last year.
Hoards of the fuckers knocking on every door, hoping to find someone at the lowest point in their lives.
I was in good company in telling them to fuck off.
It didn’t deter them.
They were back again the next day and they wouldn’t fuck off until threatened with violence.
They are a very strange breed of people.
I knew a guy that owned a national company in the UK.
During the week he had hundreds of staff under him.
On a weekend he would go out knocking on doors being told to fuck off by almost everyone.
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We used to live next door to a family of Jehovah Witnesses, and they were black ones too!
To be fair they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t go recruiting in the local area, don’t shit on your own doorstep so to speak. We had ‘Shout at the Devil’ ready to play at full volume just in case, like a musical clove of garlic.
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I knew a female one that was astonishingly attractive and married to a geek.
What a waste.
She wasn’t interested in the Gospel according to Genghis.
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Man that intro looks like a bum rape class in a seminary. No wonder those naughty natives stuck a few in his 10 ring. Fucking mentalist missionary’s just what the World needs. For a slightly less terminal mission may I humbly suggest Tower Hamlets or most of Dewsbury. Hopefully the kebab knives will have been sterilised at least wiped clean.
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The north Sentinalese are what our home grown Robertons would be without whitey to keep them alive and give them unlimited welfare.
Just remember that next time they come looking for reparations ‘n sheeit.
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Bit unfair on the North Sentinelese. They seem to be self sufficient, stay put in their own land and get along just fine by themselves.
Think it was HP Lovecraft who said missionaries were “a confounded nuisance who should be made to stay at home.” Quite right.
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Absolutely right Stanley.
I applaud the North Sentinalese for keeping the North sentinel islands proudly savage.
Their island. Their rules.
Incomers, not welcome.
You have to ask though; How have a bunch of backwards savages kept the rest of the world at bay with spears and arrows and we can’t do it with the best navy in the world and seemingly unlimited government funding?
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We don’t have a navy. We have 13 surface warships, 2 of which are aircraft carriers that don’t work.
We also have 4 ancient nuclear submarines, that are a disaster waiting to happen. We are dependent on the yanks for parts and maintainence, which sees usually 2 but sometimes 3 out of service at any given time.
That’s it. Wouldn’t last 3 days in a full scale confrontation with any nation more militarily capable than Uganda.
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Sounds like we need a full on naval battle with the Central African republic to boost morale!
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When I worked in Yorkshire I was doing missionary work – teaching them to use cutlery and so on. Never taught the fuckers to buy a round though.
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That island would be a great place to send the channel cunts, after all under international law they can claim asylum anywhere.
The might have difficulty finding a human rights lawyer to argue the case for asylum on North Sentinel Island 😂
Channel cunt …. I want to claim asylum
N Sentinel chief…. Spear says no
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There’s a video doing the rounds of a JW having a conversation with someone on their Ring doorbell, where the guy inside the house says he can’t come to the door as he’s having a wank!
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Oh, brilliant!
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Do you answer the door in your thigh-skimming kimono JP?
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LL, you know damned well it’s a Happi jacket.
I don’t answer the door at all unless it’s a delivery. The family have their own keys and I’m not interested in having conversations with cold callers or political candidates.
Thank heavens for doorbell cameras.
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I have just got rid of a Lib Dem canvasser. She was on about the problems in Britain today. I told her the solution would be to shoot the entire Labour party. The second point was to police the channel, any dinghy’s one warning open fire. You cant do that says she. Well you are just greasing the skids for the next Hitler to appear.
Just waiting to see if any others rock up now. Knowing my luck it will be the filth.
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‘…These were Osmond looking cunts from America bringing us the word of God…’
Ah, probably, like the Osmonds, Mormons. They were the least offensive (to my atheistic eyes) of the missionary mob to annoy us up here, mostly young farmer types sent over here for a couple of months to give their sisters some respite.
I’m always minded of the pair that visited a neighbour of one of my friends back in the mid-70’s, she was out doing the garden when they came up the path, they both looked at each other, took off their jackets and ties, then got to work helping her. They spent the better part of the day tidying up her place, missionaries maybe (probably in the same manner that the Irish used to send the family ‘spares’ to the priesthood, the Mormons do the same) bur farmboys at heart.
Besides, the magic underpants brigade don’t have to be pushy when it comes to their missionary work, admittedly it might count towards the missionaries getting a better planet when they die, but the church has a backup plan, they baptise and marry everyone they can find in historical records into the church, including us cunters here when we’ve snuffed it.
This sort of 19th Century proto-SF shit turned religion I find amusing,
Fucking Evangelical Christians though…although these days they don’t have to travel to darkest afrikay or other ‘forn parts to find natives to bother, one does hope that any of these cultural enrichers that they bother here on our shores have at least maintained their old culturally enriching tribal traditions regarding large black cauldrons: long pig missionaries, for the use of…
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The JW don’t knock on at mine anymore (for reasons unknown 🤩)..
But they did put a nice card through with a picture of Jebus on it,I placed it on my dining room table hoping it would stop my youngest swearing like a Scots Guard.
It failed,so Justin Welsby is a big cunt.
Anyhow,religious leanings always end in a mither so I’d send all the Islams to visit the Wild Man of Borneo..
Or any of these bracing chaps..
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpdYcy8Jtiiv_xotIlwT9FRXUHQgP8-Zg
Get thee behind me Satan.
Then Fuck Off.
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It’s a measure of how soft Europeans have become over the years that the North Sentinelese are allowed to live this way. Time was the Portuguese or the Spanish or the Brits would have gone in there and either they would have accepted subjugation or we would simply have killed ’em.
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It’s the arrogance of missionaries that irks me.
Take it upon themselves to be the envoy of God and assume you want to be a convert.
Like they are doing you a favour.
Growing up there was a family of jehovahs witnesses few streets away.
I went to school with the three sons and played football with them on a green near the park.
My mam knew theirs from before marriage.
And always said this about them
“jehovahs witnesses my arse!
To tight to buy Christmas presents more like.
Even at school she was tight.”
I don’t know if that’s the case.
The kids were fine,
Dead normal.
Never tried to give me a Watchtower.
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True Arfur, but I understand them not wanting anything to do with the world.
They’re self sufficient and don’t cause problems unless some daft cunt. Mithers them.
I don’t like Coca-Cola particularly either.
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One of their many sports is chucking spears & shooting arrows at passing helicopters, or anyone else that just happens to turn up!
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If ever they were to knock on my door, I was told to tell them give over Jehovah, I’m holding a Black Mass with coffee all round.
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That header pic looks to me like it comes from the latest S.I.A. refresher training manual, for methods of self defence.
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My Tuesday iron and epo jabs have got the Norman horn going.
Today, it’s a double header. Crossroads was shite, but the thought of Gabrielle Drake and Dee Hepburn is a very nice one.
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I quite like reading about isolated tribes and uncontacted peoples from places like the Amazon. All that world history and technological advancements and they have no idea about any of it. They don’t know about the moon landings, WW2, 1966 or who Dale Winton was.
Even in somewhere like Australia the last uncontacted abos walked out of the bush in 1984 and have been using the ‘sorry we’re out’ excuse and avoiding the missionaries for 200 years.
You can tell the fake ones though as some kid in the tribe is always wearing a faded counterfeit FC Barcelona football shirt with Messi on the back.
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Maybe it missionaries that are invading us daily.. 700 today, spreading the word of diversity is our strength..
Maybe that’s why labour aren’t smashing them,or it could be that they are incompetent, self serving cunts that need garrotting on the steps of Parliament.
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O/T, 700 dinghy rats today….🤬🤬🤬🤬
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See the Sentinalese king’s 2nd eldest son has got an autobiography out?
It’s called Spear.
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My picky has been changed…!
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#MineToo!
Something’s fishy in the state of ISAC.
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Yup, mine looks like a happy guppy instead of a depressed rat.
Don’t really care.
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It seems most if not all non-personalised ones changed at some point today. Retroactively, even (yesterday’s topics have the change now) .. someone hit the wrong key at GCHQ maybe?
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Time to personalise.
Watch this space…
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How do you change it MJB?
Mine’s been changed and it looks a bit gay.
Not happy.
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I have no idea, T.
My daughter is the tech wizard in our family.
I’ll get back to you if/when I’ve cracked it.
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You can do a personalised avatar on Gravatar.com
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Terjumin? … I altered mine via WordPress day one with a pic from my files …
You could technically get your other one back in place if you have a single screengrab containing same from the past ….
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Fuck me, the apparent disrespect. Apologies, Termujin, if you see this … 😬
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As a youth I used to like documentaries or articles about native people with their tits flopped out.
Africunt women with the saddlebags out.
Amazonian chicks with bad teeth and I spiral carpet haircuts but pert tits with decent nipples.
Probably don’t show school kids primitive people with their udders out now?
Probably tell them these people are at the cutting edge of green energy and livestyle?
UNGOWWA
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Pop down to South London mis, you can be Allan Quartermain in darkest Africa.
No mines, but king Solomon has a curried goat stand..
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