Lazarus Species

Cunts real or fiction?

They said they’d bring back the mammoth.
And in our lifetime ( well mine at any rate) we WILL see mammoth roaming on the frosty steppes of Siberia.

You doubt me?
Think I’m gullible?
It’s science fiction?

Then wobble your head as I introduce you to the ….Dire Wolf.

Dire wolves were a large ancestor of modern wolves
They went extinct around 10,000 years ago.
So not really that long ago ,
Our ancestors would of encountered them.

Now they’re back.
Scientists have used DNA to get 3 dire wolf pups,
But they are entering a world massively different from the one they last roamed.
Loss of natural habitat,
A explosion ethe human population,
Less prey species etc.

I feel sorry for them ☹️

On the other hand….

They’d make good pets!!

“XL bully? Puffs dog. I have a prehistoric wolf”

Daily Fail

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.

63 thoughts on “Lazarus Species

    • He’s always able to evacuate his bowel, W.C.B…his ringpiece is undoubtedly large enough in diameter that he needs a nappy, especially as the product therein is more than ably lubricated by regular applications of Lord Alli spunk.

      • I hadn’t thought of that, Thomas, then of course there is Angela Eagle’s kingsize strap-on……

  1. Being brought back by humans back to inevitably suffer at the hands of humans ….

    Shouldn’t have been done.

    I *would* like to see Megaladons patrolling the Med, the English Channel though.

    • With a battalion of sabre-tooth tigers to greet any successful landing parties eh, Cuntemall?
      Anything we can do to promote their velocitous extramuralisation.

      • Yeah, yeah … never thought of that .. put a stop to ALL those thicky illegal thicky immigrant thickies …

        Imagine the YT videos in this new Utopian scenario? … “Fully grown Megaladon takes out dinghy with 80 lawbreaking cunts on board just off the coast.. far right sabre-tooths finish off survivors”. Graphic Content.

        348M views.

      • Excellent! We can continue on with our Curtis/Elton-based embellishments for a while longer then.

      • As long as we play it careful enough to not end up de-bagged and radished for o/t …

        But yeah ..

        Tally-ho, sir.

  2. I’d like to see some velocaraptors brought back and let loose in parliament 👍….as for 🐺 it won’t be long before it’s chained up at some scrap merchants 😩…hooooowl

  3. Timely nom, MNC. Where will it all end? Science without boundaries is an ethical hot mess. There is probably some cunt in a lab somewhere perfecting the technique for bringing back Tommy Trinder. ‘You lucky people!’

  4. Can this companies process bring back persons who are genetically averse to fucktard woke cunts? All well and good bringing back extinct species but the world today is overpopulated with fucktards causing no end of bollocks as the social cohesion in many countries breaks down. I for one would be happier if this type of science was used for clearing up the existing mess, not used to create innocents who will suffer.

  5. If scientists can bring back the Dire Wolf, they can damn well clone Jimmy Savile.
    I’d love to see him on telly again.
    Maybe presenting a new series of ‘Tales From the Crypt’, where our host takes a guest turn as a pathologist removing his gold tracksuit and saying “now then, now then” as he advances, priapic, towards a fresh corpse, with the camera fading to black.

  6. No point in re introducing the dodo, the elephant bird or the Rodrigues solitaire though, as there are just too many predatory animals around today. All three species being flightless birds, they just wouldn’t stand a chance.

    • They’re already working on the Dodo Scunny.
      Not sure why?

      If anything was meant to be extinct it’s the Dodo.

      Looked like something a 4yr old far right toddler drew.
      Flightless, awkward and when cooked tasted fuckin awful.

      No point to it.

  7. I’d like to see these mega fauna.
    Mammoth, dire wolves, cave ears, sabretooth cats etc.

    But the world’s changed too much.
    Itd be heartbreaking😢

    They could try the Irish elk though!

    Over 9ft tall, 1000lb in weight,
    Massive antlers,
    Just what the Irish tourist board need!

    The YouTube clips of yank tourists who identify as Irish getting thrown 20ft in the air or kicked through the side of camper vans would be brilliant.

    • Dontcha fackin like him Treacle?
      Cor, he’s the bollocks is Danny.

      Oi Oi, gertcha, SHIRL!! Straight in an out no shooters..

    • Unfortunately cockroaches, rats and Danny Dyer are the only thing likely to survive a nuclear apocalypse.

      Fortunately there will be nothing left to play his shit east end mockney hardman films on.

      So every cloud etc.

  8. Those mad scientist types should clone an entire division of neanderthals and train them to work in the Border Force..

    Wonderful scenes on the Kent beaches as subhuman vermin are clubbed to death by a hulking pre human horde..

    So just like Mogadishu every day.

    Cunts.

    One Nil to Dr Frankenstein.

    • I’d prefer it if they cloned Vlad Dracul, Winston Churchill, Enoch Powell and Richard Lionheart.

      With an army of Tommy Robinson clone troopers standing ever vigilant on the south coast to repel England’s foes and lamp uppity efniks who refuse to board a dinghy back to France.

      Did you know, Tommy Robinson’s real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon?

      Surprised the newspapers haven’t mentioned that to be honest.

      • Trey Parker’s (gawdblessim!) given name is Randolph-Severn Parker III.

        I’ve never seen any publication ‘correct’ his name from Trey, ever.

        Double standards much?

  9. I suppose they could start with the Loch Ness monster and work their way up from there -that should bring some tourist dollars into Scotland.
    🦖

  10. On the subject of Lazarus, the Life On Mars/AshesTo Ashes sequel ‘Lazarus’ (as per, named after a Bowie track) will now not be made.

    I am glad it isn’t being done, and I agree with Phil Glenister (Gene Hunt). He said it would probably be ruined and woke. Gene, Sam and the lads in a woke setting would simply not work.

    It was a great series (both of them), and arguably the last great pre-woke BBC series ever made. I am pleased that this new one is now cancelled and it will be left alone.

  11. OT. I do hope the coverage of the late Pope’s funeral yesterday got right on the tits of the woke ‘inclusive’ knobheads and the islamophiles. A simple message. This is christianity, and this is how it’s done. So, fuck off you cunts.

    But, the media were cunts. Making it about Trump meeting Zelensky. I was expecting to hear the Muppet Show theme come on.

    Sam the Eagle meeting the Great Gonzo.

  12. OT Mk III.

    That bird who accused Randy Andy of that Epstein-esque skullduggery and evil doing is now dead.

    How convenient, eh? They’ll be saying she killed herself next.
    Yeah right.🙄

      • Didn’t see it. I was wired up to one of those bloody machines for hours yesterday.. Was pretty knackered when I got home.

        Thanks for letting me know though, Cunt of the Isles. Will keep it in mind.👍

  13. My brother assured his children that the reason for the extinction of all these amozing creatures was they tasted nice. There is a grain of truth there when considering the extinction of the North American megafauna at the ending of the last ice age.

    • I think that it’s true about the Dodo.

      I read that sailors on the island of Mauritius ate them all and they tasted lovely.

      If they decided to somehow bring them back I would certainly have a go.
      It would make a change from turkey at Christmas.

      I can’t see any other point of reintroducing them if you are not going to eat the big, ugly fuckers.

  14. The DNA degenerates will only bring back a modified version of the original.
    It complex, this bio diversity stuff and takes a billion years or so along with the help of all the other bio diverse types.
    I remember Dolly the sheep, the first cloned version and she got old pretty rapidly, even the Welsh were repulsed.

  15. I`m thinking that if they ever DNA`d a mammoth they could always shave the bugger to get back to an elephant. So no harm done.
    🐘

  16. My three that I would like to bring back “from the dead,” if it was possible would be Galileo Galilei. (They don’t make names like that any more!) So that after nearly 500 years, the Catholic church, can personally say sorry for accusing him of heresy. Henry V111, just so that I can stick him in the House ot Commons. & Leonardo da Vinci, my all time favourite! A true genius, & an all rounder.

  17. The Jab has made clones of us all.
    Nothing new I suppose, after all the nuclear athmo experiments along with big pharma driving shitheads even more crazy.
    All is good, let them DNA the Devil.
    Oh I think I’m not up to date Bill Windows

  18. Cryonics has always facinated me. Putting a dead body in a freezer, until a cure is found. Sounds expensive to me, & waiting, then waiting, but I guess that is just the tip of the iceberg……..er…. where sid I leave my coat?

  19. If they are bringing back extinct animals from the Ice age they won’t stop there.

    How about other types of hominids?
    Other branches of humanity.

    The Neanderthal, the denisovans.
    The latter had thick skulls like a xlBully, big teeth but no chin.
    Sort of looked like James Cleverly,
    And cannibals too.

    In 10 years I expect they’ll be back.
    In 20yrs they’ll be your next door neighbour.
    Denisovans one side
    Somalians on the other.

    It’ll be someone to go to the mosque with at least…

    • What about Bigfoots, Abominable Snowmen, beasts that have been seen in the woods? Dead sheep that have been killed by a big cat, or something similar. So how come no dead bodies of these creatures ever turn up? They must have a great way of cleaning up after themselves.

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