Medication Information for Patients


I’ve got the fucking hump and no mistake I can tell you. Last year I had to get surgery, and as a reward for all the unpleasantness, I booked us a couple of weeks in a swanky drum in Gran Caneria for early 2025. We should be there as I write, enjoying some good wine and food in the warm weather. We’re not; I’ve been grounded by a heart scare.
(I can go on your behalf and sent you a postcard. Let me know – NA)

As a result of this, I’ve been put on a veritable cocktail of no less than six medications, that’s on top of other stuff I already take. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m now thoroughly dazed, confused and anxious after trying to wade my way through the fucking Dead Sea Scroll of ‘patient information’ that comes in tiny print in every box.

Where do I begin? Well for starters I’m told that I shouldn’t take the medication if I’m allergic to it. Well how exactly am I supposed to find out whether I’m allergic to it if I don’t take it?

But as you read on, it just gets plain scary; the list of possible side effects and consequences is enough to make you piss yourself. To name just a few, I might suffer vomiting, diarrhoea, constipation and nausea; blurred vision or blindness; rashes, dry itchy skin or hives; fainting, headaches, loss of consciousness, confusion or memory loss; palpitations, heart attack or stroke; severe internal and/or external bleeding; hearing loss (may be irreversible); death (almost certainly irreversible). Don’t take alcohol. Don’t take THIS at the same time as THAT.The list just goes on and on… I’m now thinking that I’ll have to go and see a pharmacist just to work out a schedule.

Oh, and if I suffer any of the above complications, I’m to contact my physician IMMEDIATELY. Good job then that when I saw her earlier, she gave me her private number so that I can contact her any time, 24/7.

Naturally I realise that in putting me on all this stuff, the hospital is trying to act in my best interests, but trying to wade through all the pages and pages of ifs, buts and maybes in each case makes me wonder if the cure mightn’t actually kill me. Big Pharma just wants to cover its fat corporate arse against any and every eventuality of course, but the screeds on any patient information leaflet is enough to leave any punter with a pounding headache and a bad case of anxiety just for starters;

Accord Healthcare.

Go on cunters, just have a look at this one for example. It’s about as much practical help as an ash tray on a motor bike, and about as reassuring as a handshake from Stalin. Read it and weep.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

74 thoughts on “Medication Information for Patients

  1. Hallo meine kleinen Drogenabhängigen !!!
    💊
    You certainly have a point, Herr Knie.
    Recently I`ve been taking Fudgeline® (arsyl cuntinate) for stress and it causes extreme bursts of carbon dibaxide in the most delicate of situations. Fortunately my German-built Lederhosen are up to the task of effective containment.

  2. You see that’s where you’ve made a mistake Ron, the medical profession rarely ‘acts in your best interests’, they act in theirs, with Dr’s literally getting paid to prescribe all sorts of shit that doesn’t work and you don’t need.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/05/21/gps-paid-handing-statins-puts-patients-review-finds/%23:~:text%3DNHS%2520bosses%2520currently%2520offer%2520GP,safety%2520and%2520efficacy%2520of%2520statins.&ved=2ahUKEwjghtDn8MWLAxV0FhAIHQNjBXwQFnoECBkQBQ&usg=AOvVaw0WM47a7BklHjmRXWeFDzG7

    Just one example, there are dozens. Eat health(ier), cut down fag’s and booze (a bit), go for a walk now and then. What will be, will be. Enjoy your life, don’t spend it drugged on shit that creates more problems than it solves.

  3. You have my sympathies, Ron.
    I only take three pills a day, but it’s a good job the Pharmacist at my local is on the ball.
    He made sure that I didn’t miss the small print warning about NSAIDs, because I regularly used the take Ibuprofen, combined with paracetamol for chronic back pain.

    It’s a bugger that I can’t take it anymore, not while I’m on these pills, as paracetamol alone barely makes a difference.

  4. OT. That Primark attired pest Zelensky is at it again.
    As Big Don is near to finding a way to end the Ukraine war, this gobshite is calling for an army from Europe to challenge Russia.

    Well, considering he is of fighting age, will he (and many other famous and high profile Ukranians) tale part in this army? No, thought not.

    Anyway, he can sod off. He can get himself killed, by all means. Just leave us out of it.

    • That should be a laugh, we can barely raise a couple of functioning brigades along with the French 22nd Brigade of mechanized reversing tanks.

      • We’ve got one nuclear submarine. But, I don’t think we know where it actually is.

        Anyway, fuck Ukraine and Russia. We have our own invasion to deal with. Bugger Ukraine, we have most of Pakistan, Africa and Eastern Europe to get shut of.

      • Yes indeed,Ukraine and that bent little cunt Zelensky can take his European army and fuck right off.

      • We have nine nuclear powered submarines Norman, four of which are Vanguard class armed with nuclear missiles. You are right though that when they are out on station we don’t know where they are. Neither do the Russians.

        They are effective. Remember the Belgrano?

    • How the Zelenski cunt didn’t win overseas cunt of the year is beyond me. How cunts can’t see right through him is also beyond me.

      The scruffy dressed comedian is making utterances almost every hour now about Russia, Putin, EU armies and attacks on NATO countries. Not once does he talk of peace or compromise.

      He must be shitting himself senseless as his UK tax payer funded ponzi scheme comes crashing down, thanks to the Big Don.

      Fuck off and fuck of some more Zelenski, you shifty Eastern European shit bag.

      PS Starmer is a cunt as well. Banging on about our ‘national security’ what a fucking joke that turd is.

    • Time for Ukraine and Russia to end their disagreement before Europe and the U.K. have to file for bankruptcy. European army fuck off, when that bint who is eu head commissioner or something was the defence minister for Germany the poor squaddies had to run around with broom handles painted black on some exercises cos they didn’t have enough rifles. Never liked that levensky person. The USA has poured billions of dollars into Ukraine also has a very large cia contingent in country. Been there years before all this war bollocks started.

  5. Didn’t some cunt during the China Flu try to justify the “vaccine” by saying “well just take a look at what could happen if you take an aspirin,read the Solicitors letter inside the packet..” ?

    Pass the Pervetin.

    Good health!

    https://cdn2.hubspot.net

  6. It willcome as no surprise I’m sure that I’m now suffering a severe case of health anxiety and hyper sensitivity. Every little twinge and flutter has me thinking that I’m about to keel over.

    Got to go and see a consultant on the 25th of the month, who hopefully will shed some light on just how big a deal this actually is.

    It’s a cunt, I can tell you that.

    Afternoon all.

  7. I see there’s a section on Pregnancy and Breast-feeding Ron.

    I trust the medical staff asked you if you are pregnant as they are now required to do, even of us XYers.
    You could say that actually you’d just missed your monthlies and could they provide you with a test kit?

    • Well Geordie this whole thing blew up after a visit to my GP, who detected an irregular heartbeat, and I got sent to hospital quite sharpish to get some tests done.

      The registrar was so focussed on the peripheral details of my test results that she not only neglected to check if I might be pregnant, but also made no attempt to ascertain what my preferred pronouns are.

      Needless to say I’m mortified, and my solicitor is preparing a complaint and a compensation claim at this moment.

  8. Two heart attacks…full hip replacement… pulmonary embolism… varicose veins in one 🦵… arthritis in neck…😩
    It’s great to be alive 😎… anyway as previously posted off to Espana tomorrow,with my little 7 day box of 💊 in tow… I’m going to go down fighting as recommended or not a few 🍻 will be going down the hatch…fuck the leaflets inside the meds 👍

    • Nice one G-e. Enjoy yourself mate. I’m hoping to get there as soon as the quacks give me the word that I can travel (assuming they do of course).

      On top of everything I feel that I’ve let the missus down.

      One thing that I’ve also learned is not to go on the internet in the hope of obtaining clarity re medications. It only makes an already confusing and alarming situation even worse.

  9. I was taking 3 different pills twice a day for my diabetes.
    I kept doing that for a year.

    The effects were unpleasant. I won’t go into details as it would put you off your dinner.
    Let’s just say that it would have been unwise for me to send a fart video to someone who I didn’t like.

    After a lot of research, wading through the crap and misinformation online I decided to completely change my diet.

    I’m still experimenting but I feel an awful lot better than I did when I was on pills.

    For instance, the Chinese may be sneaky yellow bastards but they do know a lot about herbal medication.
    They have had many thousands of years of practice.

    I hate green tea but it is now a part of my life, four fucking times a day.
    It really makes me feel a lot better.

    Fuck doctors and fuck the big pharmacies.

    • I know what you mean Artful. I find this situation really difficult. I feel exhausted, no appetite, breathless and giddy, with palpitations.

      Do I feel this way because of the condition, because of the meds, because of anxiety, or a mixture of all three?

      I think I need to read those leaflets again in search of a bit of reassurance…

      • Hi Rod.

        You will get so much conflicting information.
        Time better spent would be to go and find a Chinese herbalist.
        I know that sounds wierd.

        I am acutely aware of what I now eat.

        We have hundreds of Chinese restaurants in Spain. Most are the normal Wok Buffet type of places.

        The one Chinese that I go to often serves excellent food.
        After each meal they bring along a selection of fruits, nuts and berries with the bill.
        It isn’t charged for on the bill but obviously they don’t give the stuff away.
        It will be costed in.

        After a lot of research it turns out that to counteract the effects of certain foods when you have various conditions, including diabetes, nuts, berries and citrus fruit are excellent for you.

        It’s like the Chinese just know these things instinctively.

      • No arguing with Chinese medicine to a point, birds nest and sharks fins and swim bladders of pandas take it a bit far though.
        The best medicine is a massage from a little Chinese woman though, It can go only 2 ways, it will turn into something a bit naughty. Or will turn out to be an eye wateringly painful experience.

        As for our western medications, best sticking as close to nature as possible, aspirin, codeine, mushrooms…

  10. I only drink the purest yak urine and listen to the sound of Buddhist singing bowls.

    Never been ill In my life, but the side effects make me an insufferable cunt with terrible breath.

  11. I hate to even take an aspirin.

    I say we go back to bleeding and applying leeches as they probably did less harm than the fucking mass quantities of pharmaceuticals we’re now conned into taking.

    And maybe an exorcism or two to get rid of the Demon Woke Mind Virus that infects so many.

    Forced Vaccines
    Mandated Lockdowns
    Mask Up!

    • What ho General.

      It’s a real conundrum.

      I got such a fright at the hospital that I’m as scared NOT to take all the precribed meds as I’m wary about taking them.

      Bit of a Catch-22…

      • Hey Ron,

        I completely agree with this nom and can relate to what you’re saying.

        The meds supposed to cure your ailment will undoubtedly cause another.

        Don’t take them and you get worse. Take them and you get something else.

  12. Big pharma will never poison this Cunt Engine.
    I only ever take “medication” I’ve either grown or produced myself and am physically fit as fuck, despite being well into my fifties.
    Organically grown produce is excellent at reducing systemic inflammation, the main driving force that promotes a variety of unpleasant health problems.

  13. I recommend assisted dying Ron, the one stop shop cure all, just make sure you submit plenty of noms before you go 👍

    No need to thank me and don’t worry, you won’t miss Villa winning anything in the next 50 years.

    In the mean time take paracetamol 3 times a day and stop fucking moaning 😂

  14. Still enjoying the crying and simpering after the JD Vance speech, how dare he speak his mind and tell Europe ‘you have gone fucking soft’

    I was so happy I almost kissed the cat!

    • Indeed sir.

      Quite the tour de force.

      The looks on the audiences faces will forever be a treat.

      What a bunch of arse covering,simpering pakī loving cunts.

      • Forget Russia and China, beware the enemy within.

        Haven’t we (the people) been saying that for years, stop the uncontrolled immigration, completely ignored by the bureaucracy.

        Best kick up the arse since Nigel asked Rompuy ‘who are you’ 😂

  15. Avoid pineapple and everything will be fine.

    As a counter foil to meds I recommend Guinness with a shot of rum in it and lot’s of fresh air.

      • Grapefruit is always the one to avoid according the litertature that comes with the cocktail of meds I take which is no hardship as its probably the only fruit I never liked.
        Plus St Johns wort supplements. It seems there is hardly anything that stuff doesn’t interact with and prevent your gut taking in the meds.

  16. I get runny shits every couple of days, blurred vision and itchy skin from my small cocktail of four drugs.
    Quack just says, well it’s worth it to keep you alive, which i suppose is correct.
    But they’re still cunts.

  17. What is it they say, don’t get sick or get old in modern Britain? Sympathies Ron, I haven’t seen a doctor or visited a hospital in about 25 years but I know that will not always be the case.

    OT, I see another pair of cunts have been arrested in Iran. What did the last one cost us? £400million?

  18. I take half a dozen tablets a day, without bothering to read the out come of the consequences. A couple of them I know that work are for thinning the blood and stopping heartburn. I think by not smoking, drinking and not having sweets, cakes, biscuits and no salt or sugar, help a lot.

  19. I don’t take any medication.
    Nothing.

    Not seen a doctor in ages.
    Why I’m so healthy.

    I remember that Bruce Lee,
    His body was a temple
    Mine more a prefab

    But Bruce unlike other chinkys didn’t smoke, or eat bats,
    Just fish and rice.

    His body was that pure,
    He took a aspirin and his heart exploded.

    That’s how they should of got him in enter the dragon!
    Throw a bottle of Calpol over him.
    He’d wither like a slug in salt

  20. Remember the good old days, doctor’s, chemists, pill in a brown bottle.
    Take pills, no problem.
    Now pills arrive in sealed box, inside blister packs and leafet the size of the fucking bible with why when how and all the side effects….

  21. I once went Deaf .
    I didn’t realise.
    Missus Miserable went ape shit because I was watching Headliners on GB news at top volume.

    My head was bunged up ,
    I refused to believe I had Hayfever and all the snot and that bunged me ears up.

    It was lovely and peaceful.

    Don’t ever give to charity for deaf n dumbers.
    Those jammy bastards have a wonderful life.
    Better than us poor slobs.

  22. I don’t think everyone pays attention to all the paperwork as much as you Ron.

    Anyone recall one Daniel Medforth & his claimed downing of 35 viagras in one night?

    • I was thinking about this Medforth cunts claims to the press, and there are many shortfalls, many proper or relevant questions not asked of the cunt. They were too busy making bullshit, ‘tard-level unfunny puns.

      The little blue cunts were roughly a tenner a pop at the time, packs of either 4 or 8?

      So without witnesses to the consumption, I’d say it’s more likely the attention-needy cunt MAYBE took 4.

      So what?, in that case.

    • Brought on an instant Viz letters page flashback ..

      ‘Julie Andrews said A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Well she might want to explain that to my 2 year old diabetic daughter. Mind you, she’ll need a ouija board’.

  23. Sorry to read about your current condition Ron, obviously I sincerely hope you fully recover and can return to your globetrotting ASAP.

  24. Funny how the body ages. I know blokes who drink to much, smoke, don’t exercise and ail fuck all.
    That said they can’t run for a bus.

    Yet, I knew young fit lads who are now ashes in the wind..!

    There is no science to any of it, ok lifestyle choices will make a difference, obviously.

    But, it’s in my uneducated opinion natural selection is thinning out the world’s population by selection, only modern medicine is getting in the way and prolonging the life’s of people who should be dead. I know, this is somewhat callous and hard hearted, but if you think about it, by definition it the weak die the strong survive. What’s left is a strong gene pool…

    Natural selection, not nice/ pleasant but inevitable.

    Mans intelligence is getting in the way of nature’s way.

    Chuffing Nora, that was heavy…☠️

  25. The only contraindication as these cunts call it is ‘do not use alcohol’ . This shows that it’s fucking poison and should be avoided.

    • That will also take in Ross, his brother. He was murdered, probably by someone who didn’t like his name either. It also could’ve been because of their job, to do with The Guinness Book of Records, malarkey.

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