Well Lawd lav ah dack, it’s fackin’ mental an’ no mistyke guv’nor. The Beeb’s lumbering old donkey of a soap has notched up forty years on the box; forty years of ‘we need ta tawk’ misery and woe.
And so how has Auntie chosen to ‘celebrate’ the anniversary? Why in time-honoured ‘BellEnders’ fashion of course, with yet more on-screen anguish, death and destruction being ladled out for the discerning viewer to appreciate.
There’s no more satisfying watch than a gritty, realistic, true-to-life drama. I expect that like me, you’ve all been glued to the screen. Definitely a case of ‘cancel all other engagements’ if I ever saw one, or yer bang aht uv orhdur mah san.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
Never seen a single episode.
Couldn’t give a fuck.
Morning all.
20
Morning Geordie.Same as me never watched a single episode.
8
#MeNeither
6
Ditto…
5
Never Enders, fucking gash.
Ditto – never seen it but I know some twats who do watch it….and they’re thick as pig-shite.
3
If East Enders is jam-packed with darkıes, sexual assaults, stabbings, the odd token honkey and unending misery, it sounds like a perfect encapsulation of life in modern London.
Hoorah for the BBC for such accurate representation.
19
Git awf maah mannah, fackin numpty
4
I met Nicola Stapleton back in the day. She was one of those 90s actress that fuelled my teenage fantasies.
My class went to see a play she was in as part of GCSE English.
The saucy minx.
4
I remember her, as the saucy jailbait, Mandy in NeverEnders back in the day.
I did see Kacey Ainsworth on the stage before her soap days. She was Kate in the Taming of the Shrew, seen below.
And, yes, I would have…
https://www.geocities.ws/nugentrussell/kacey06.jpg
0
Prefer the Pisstakenders we get on the tinternet, which livened’s up precedings.
5
We accidentally flicked onto the BBC a couple of decades ago, and ‘Eastenders’ was on. Some bird was hitting some bloke with a fucking iron! But it was all okay as she was on the rag at the time. Public information, innit. All good family fun.
I do remember watching an early episode, and old Doctor Clegg seemed a decent sort. I expect he is brown bread by now.
Good morning everyone.
10
Can’t imagine he’d be too popular these days,Twenty,being a Joo and all .
Wouldn’t have minded that bird sucking me off in a lay-by back in the day though.
6
Afternoon Hugh, wasn’t it some gangster she was seeing to? One of the cunts out of the ‘Essex Boys’ or something like that…
5
Is eastenders filmed In Richmond on Thames? Cause last time I was in East London I had to look in the van mirror to see another white face.
“Get out of my mosque you’re barred”
17
Bird: Rii-ckeee, ask them peepu’ nex door for a cup o’ miwlk. We ain’t got none.
Rickee: Ah can’t. Dems are de new token black family an ah’m a white character oo’s a bit racist.
Bird: Ow abaat dem over de street?
Rickee: Too poor. They’re Asylum Seekers. Definitely not Illegal and good as gold. Certainly no’ criminals or workin’ black market jobs.
Bird: Queen Vic?
Rickee: Closed daaan. Too expensive and nowhere to smoke.
Bird: Ow am I gonna get any miwlk?
Rickee: I’ll buy some on the way back from the tranny clinic.
Bird: Wha?
Rickee: Yesh tomowwa, I’ll be…….. …. ……..Viii-ckeee.
[Dum Dum Dum Dumma Dum Dumma Dum]
13
Here we have the original hard man in his most famous role
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnRW2jmMxGw
It’s business, it’s family, it’s shite 😂
6
Flamethrower them all.Shower of shit.🔥🔥🔥
9
Is there any decent looking fanny in it?
Good morning.
6
and No ..
Blek Keys and Ragheads are automatically excluded from the contest..
which is institutional racism.
The BBC should be ashamed.
6
The beeb should’ve shown an episode in white and black, with pearly kings and queens having a knees up down the local boozer.
6
With Chas on piano or, perhaps Dave.
All together now, ‘I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care if he comes ’round here..’
6
Special guest Dave Lammy belting out some good old good ones on the banjo.
5
Polly Wolly Doodle! Dai Francis sang it well. He was bleck too as I recall.
3
Bunch of fuckin eel suckers.
My old man said follow the van,
Roll out the barrel,
Chimchim cheroo.
Suck my arse.
7
Morning MNC/all.
Laaahndan accents must sound like a foreign language to a gentlemen who hails from your neck of the woods.
I have an Uncle who’s from Tyneside with the thickest accent you can imagine and to my west country ears, he might as well be speaking Swahili.
Or Welsh.
Can’t understand a damn word!
Maybe my uncle’s Geordie Twatt in disguise?!
10
You’re west country twang must be comforting to the dungeon dwellers Cunt Engine, not least before you bury them in a lonely cornfield.
8
Morning Thomas/LL.👍
Not a clue what you mean?
I talk like John Lemesurier!
Awfully nice and frightfully correct.
Your Wurzel Gummidge accent I’d find a bit coarse,
But yes those London accents are beyond the pale!
They’re mainly criminals and market stall traders.
Common.
7
I do tell them that I’m Fred West’s son, LL.
9
Bugger, ah’ve been foond oot.
Alreet Tommy?
10
A slight groonding in Geordie does make reading Viz a little easier, GT!
4
The amount of ullage printed about this tedious programme has been incredible – worse still has been the quotes from SM the papers are so fond of using. One silly cow (I suppose a woman) said that she was “not going to work for a few days to get over the shock” (of a characters being killed off). I wouldn’t like to be her employer as she will no doubt sue for wrongful dismissal if he got shot of her.
7
A neverending moan fest with storylines so far fetched it makes the Wizard of Oz look believable.
Morning all.
10
TV for the brain dead…🤡
9
Brookside became the better soap, with most of their cast becoming famous. Whereas Miserable mixed raced street took on actors at the end of careers. Just reminding you of the bleeding obvious.
8
Clare Sweeney in her prime 👌
0
Right. Clicked a link. So a fictional character died on a television show. The tabloid I randomly picked gave a drawn-out description of this, – followed by an obligatory, it would seem these days – transcript of 3 tweets by random cunts ABOUT the scenario… but the icing on this particular cake was a *Link* beneath that breathtaking example of journalism… which was proffering advice on how to help fans cope with the loss of this popular actor/character.
Just sing ‘Don’t look back in Anger’ and get on with your life, I’ll bet it doesn’t say.
7
40 years!!!
faackin ell guvna
let’s head daan to the Vic for a faaakin sing song round the old joanna then a knee trembler in the karzi with Kaffy
pint of slosh treacle keep the change
5
Pardon?
4
keep up you norvern monkey
5
Geoff Knights enjoyed a nice slurping from Kaff firty years ago in a layby, if you remember?
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/opinion/latest/1350142.blown/
Good girl! Facking dirty slaaaaag.
5
still would she is a filthy mate!!
2
I remember that being in my Nan’s Sunday paper. I used to take them to the recycling place for her and she’d give me a bit of money for taking them.
What she didn’t know was that I’d have a look through at the page 3 starlets and keep those for erm….entertainment purposes.
I remember there was a picture of Sandra Bullock back in her Speed/Demolition Man days where she had her hair in pigtails and was dressed provocatively. I kept that one for years.
4
Bloody hell I’ve found it after all this time.
Giggity
https://woophy.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Sandra-Bullock-Hot-Photos.webp
I might be gone for a bit.
1
Not seeen it for about 39 years. Is the one who looks like a potato still in it, innit?
4
🥔
0
Dross. Late to the party anyway. That other steaming pile of shit, “Coronation Street” has been grinding on since 1960. At least they had the sense to put “Crossroads” out of its misery.
4
And What about Brookside, Arfur?
Started as a documentary-like series about a Liverpool Cul De Sac. Unrecognisable to what it late became.
Ended up as the most absurd and implauisble programme on British TV in its later years.
2
Hope another nostalgic lot, Z-Cars put one over on my pathetic team of dolly mixtures, this lunchtime.
1
To be fair, I don’t think they’ve had a murder this week.
There have been over 40 murders and a dozen manslaughters so far I gather. Albert Square’s a violent place.
Morning all.
5
They drink a lot of tea mind…
https://www.tiktok.com/@mike_mcr/video/7135550711093366022
7
Are they avin’ a giraffe 🦒?
5
Being born in the East End I can confirm that the programme is true to life.
We all used to drink together in the local pub.
Pákís, Blacks and Gays all having a knees up together.
Despite our houses being worth close to a million quid none of us had a washing machine. We used to congregate in the launderette.
We all used to have breakfast in the local café and despite of all this friendliness nobody ever smiled.
There was at least 2 murders a year.
I can’t remember a wedding that went ahead without either the bride or groom backing out at the last minute.
Everyone used to talk in a strange version of rhyming slang.
We was always having a Steffi (without smiling).
Gawd bless them.
7
Salt uv ve Urf Artful
6
We was always good to our mums.
7
And could leave your front door unlocked?
8
And Ronnie and Reggie were always popping by for a cup of Rosey.
4
Couldn’t hold a candle 🕯️ to corry street 🤣…..how the two of them have lasted so long is mind numbing…. although I wouldn’t have minded seeing Phil and Grant having a two’s up with Betty turpin….oooh mind my hot pot 🍲 …😩
6
Coronation Street in its prime (1960 to about 1984) pissed all over NeverEnders. One classic 70s episode featuring the greats like Hlda and Stan Ogden, Annie Walker, Elsie Tanner, Albert Tatlock, Ena Sharples, Bet Lynch,Eddie Yeats and the rest is worth all 40 years of that depressing wannabe Krays shite.
One such episode from 1970. Patricia Phoenix in her pomp as Elsie Tanner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co2cGvDbZP0&t=41s
2
June Howson, the producer of that episode went on to produce Nearest & Dearest with Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel, Madge Hindle. and Eddie Malin (“have you beeen, Walter?. I think he’s beeeen”). Must get going it’s a quarter to – I must get a litte hand put on this watch.
Not a lot of people know that.
1
I think she also worked on the Dustbinmen.
A Granada comedy, about four Manchester binmen.
Coronation Street’s Graeme Haberfield went from mild mannered Jerry Booth to anti social Man City mad binman, Winston Platt.
Julie Goodyear also appears in this episode…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqUoQugU6H4
1
Or Grant and Phil getting their baldie heads kicked in by Len Fairclough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K93YMO-wlY
2
O/T, Great news….☠️
PC Sharon Beshenivsky murder Piran Ditta Khan dies in prison
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/pc-sharon-beshenivsky-murderer-piran-31058629#ICID=Android_HuddersfieldExaminerNewsApp_AppShare
6
Nectar, Doc.
Nectar.
1
What a crock of shit british tv has become. I dont watch any soap dirge but swmbo pretends to whilst affecting to do vital work on her phone. The bits i have seen all include, death, murders, disasters, sleeping around, and not cooking meals at home, lets all buy stuff everyday from a cafe, coffee shop, pub, bistro etc etc, nobody seems to work or discuss normal things like the normal banter you get. Why cant they make more like day to day life and include smoking, farting, swearing, belching, buying dirty magazines. Its all bullshit and cunts although not so many these days lap it up. We are doomed.
1
The BBC ‘flagship’ shitshow that is Never Ever Ending Enders.
The line from Blazing Saddles comes to mind,,,
‘Rape, murder, arson and rape’.
Depressing dystopian sensationalist shite of the highest order.
Isn’t Stallone impersonator Sonia now having a baby? I thought she was a tuppence flicker. Mind you, any bloke (fictional or not) would have to insane if they put their John Thomas near that.
Also, the Walford woke freak show hasn’t a decent bit of crackling in years.
The aforementioed Sonia Stalllone, Sharon Watts looks like Tweety Pie after he drinks the Hyde Formula, Kaffy Whatever her name is now (sounds like Arthur Mullard), Kat Slater (an orange with tits), Stacey Slater (Gordon The Tank Engine), Daniella Westbrook (a hooter with nostrils the size of Shea Stadium), a well past it Cindy Beale and other mingers.
Now, this young lady was more like it. I would have, then I would have again. Fit as fook, lad.
https://images3.imagebam.com/bf/51/9a/a02c9f99567565.jpg
2
Now ya talkin’ Norman
0
The magnificent Michelle Ryan, Ron.
AKA Zoe Slater.
Left years ago, when she ralised how shit it was, Her character was supposed to be the offspring of an incestuous ding dong. Well laughable, an inbred kid would either look like a mong or be a total not right. But the brains at the BBC chose a stone cold stunner fot the part.
Mind you, I am glad they did. The Norman horn blared out every time she was on.
I am struggling to think of other NeverEnders top totty at the moment.
2
There were a few back in ye olde dayze. I remember now.
Martine McCutcheon as Tiffany was a little firecracker.
The lovely Samantha Janus as Ronnie Mitchell.
Tamsin Outhwaite as Melanie.was also a good ‘un.
And this one (Jacqueline Jossa as Lauren Branning) would get a monumental thorough tonking.
https://i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk/incoming/article19386102.ece/ALTERNATES/s1227b/0_httpscdnimagesdailystarcoukdynamic122photos156000900x738937156
1
Supposed to be Landaners, never heard any one say “No wot I fakkin meen”.
0
No lover of NeverEnders, but I fucking despise Emmerdale.
Absolutely kudicrous shite. A 747 crashing slap bang onto the Woolpack? And, not only that, it reopens? Fuck off. That’s just one of its totally ridiculous plots in the past 20 or so years.
And apparently it is still festering with those vile grotesque inbred gyppo sheep molesting Dingle scum. Piss poor Heathcliff, Cain Dingle. Emmerdale superbike Charity, rough as a Staffy’s arse, Chasity, Oh Lordy! It’s the Fat Slags Lisa Riley as Mandy Dingle, and Sam Dingle the Mong. I’ve been told that the Dingle vermin were all suited up and travellling in a limo in the last episode. Shame it didn’t explode in ball of flames.
1
I bet Mr Cunt Engine would like to see Samantha’s Janus 🤭😄
1
So would I, Harold.
1
Never seen it. I have a life.
1
Same as me
0