I looked at the news pages today and saw an article in the Telegraph, which said that the NHS suggests that the elderly wear shoes or slippers around the house and wear socks to bed at night, if their feet get cold.
Some cunt probably gets paid to dispense this sort of wisdom, probably quite a lot. It stands to reason that if somebody is elderly, they have probably learnt a few things, so can manage perfectly well without these suggestions. It is rather tasteless to give this sort of advice at a time when the winter fuel allowance has been stopped for many.
It is either a massive wind-up or the folks at NHS really do think the general public are all as thick as pigshit. It is also so fucking irritating that someone could have an aneurysm listening to it. The advice for that would probably be, have a couple of aspirin and a lie down. If I wanted to be talked to like a three year old that has wet itself, I’d probably go round my ex mother-in-laws.
Nominated by : Mary Hinge
And the jobs for university failures are still being handed out in the form of diversity staff at the rate of one a week.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/health/33089216/nhs-hiring-diversity-staff/
10
Sorry to have to tell you, but in the vast majority of cases the public are as thick as pig shit.
However indicating this to them by NHS does seem a little patronising.
mornin’.
15
This is my experience also. Average Joe Public is thicker than pig shite.
Society has a great future behind it!
5
Another thing that gets my goat with NHS advice is the infantalisation of information they give out, with words like Poo and Tummy!
What fucking age do they think we are, seven!
Utter cunts.
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It’s tailored for the lowest forms of life, like illegal immigrants, chavs and labour voters.
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Ha ha!
Labour voters, I like that.
Afternoon Odin, afterniin all.
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Good Morning Cuntalugs and everyone,
I went around Ludlow Castle on Saturday morning and I thought exactly the same thing when reading the information boards. They were aimed at primary school children and junior ones at that. They are not the buggers paying £9 a time to go around.
9
Yes, I think it’s a plan to dumb down the populace to infantile levels.
I just compare the so called interlectual programmes served up on the BBC and other channels nowadays to those like Civilisation and The Ascent of Man shown over 50 years ago, modern day audiences would understand a word now.
9
Would not.
FFS
4
All utilities seem to be going childish losing dear Mr……using instead Hi there followed by my forename and my bankcard looks like it was designed by an art school dropout.
I’m not fucking 7 years old so don’t treat me as such.
My later years/ grumpy disposition demand courtesy fitting my age thank you
3
Yes,the Nanny State rides again.
“Stating the bleeding obvious at vast expense for over 30 years”..
To be fair,I always assume this sort of idiotic drivel is aimed at students and foreigners,both of which seem to expand in numbers almost as fast as the National Debt.
The Cunts.
Good morning.
9
Does the NHS treat us like infants?
I found this in a leaflet in the doctor’s surgery….
NHS Publications
WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PROSTATE?
Do you have blood in your wee wee or poo poo?
Do you have difficulty getting a hard willy?
Do you need to go for a wee wee in the night and wake Mummy?
Then get Mummy to take you to the doctor’s for a blood test. Be brave and don’t cry when the needle goes in and Mummy will give you a big hug and kiss.
NB. This advice is also available in 245 other languages, braille, smoke signals, jungle drums, semaphore and Morse code.
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Saw WanKeir in the opposite queue. That’s a relief.
6
This kind of “advice” is being aimed at the wrong age group.
As an older person bought up in an era when central heating, double glazing and home insulation just didn’t exist, and the family heat source was a single open fire with a back-boiler for hot water, we don’t need patronising tips on keeping warm from some pen pushing twonks.
It’s as insulting as telling people to stay indoors during the hottest part of the day and keep hydrated in Summer, or to cuddle the family pet to keep warm ( a pearl of wisdom from some idiot a few years ago that they were forced to apologise for) in cold weather.
11
They’re currently warning about the dangers of Hot water bottles.
**CAUTION** may be hot to touch!!
Some woman burnt herself and it’s triggered a headless chicken response.
If you use a hot water bottle,
Say you have period pains?
Or don’t have radiators in your shanty town shack?
May I suggest you screw the lid on firmly?
Maybe wrap it in a towel so you don’t get scalded?
Also don’t drink from it,
And if your Indian remember they aren’t compatible with beds of nails.
15
Whilst in hospital for having my dick reduced in length, l got fed up with telling them I’m taking the tablets twice a day, not two times !
8
It’s absolutely everywhere.
On bleach, paint thinners etc.
“Do Not Drink”
On tubes of gels like Deep Heat
“For external use only”
Ffs, like I’m going to spread it on toast!
On a meat pie packet.
” serving suggestion” ( pie on a plate, without packet)
The list of idiotic advice, instruction and suggestions goes on and on.
Are people really THAT stupid?
Although having recently seen a clip of some genius using a can opener on a can of pop that had a ring-pull, I think I’ve answered my own question.
12
had this at work a few years ago. we use a machine that analyses milk to give you the fat and total solids in it, there is a cleaning solution for said machine and the lab staff had written on the bottle ” cleaning solution for ft120 do not drink” did they think someone was going to start their shift and think “” by fuck i`m thirsty but i won`t drink this bottle of fanta i`ve brought in i`ll just take a swig of this 5ltr tub of chemicals” the utter fucking tards
9
I used to have one of those stone water bottles when I was a lad..
5
A stone water bottle!
Tha’ wer’t lucky, lad, we ‘ad a brick, heated on’t fireback and wrapped in newspaper!
2
I have on my trousers, please take out and suck, ladies only.
1
The problem is there are about 10 times as many people “working” in the Department of Health as they need, many of them still refusing to come into their workplace and “working from home”. They justify their existence by producing bloody daft advice as in the original post. Christ knows how many meetings, how many, attended, expenses claimed they held before they put that advice out.
Years ago I was a locally primary school governor and I received a very thick brown envelope through the post about once a fortnight. It just went straight in the bin, again produced because they had too many people at the DoE with bugger all to do.
8
Because things are so bad at the moment Kweer and Streeting – Pissball and Fartarse, are considering using witch doctors to augment NHS staff, so, if you need them, Dave Lammy and Dawn Butler will turn up at your home, stark bollock naked, painted in blue and white, with Diane Abbott on the bongos, shaking their spears and offering you their medicaments: Drink a pint of bat’s blood a day, honey child.
8
A little off topic but interesting. Yesterday I saw an advert on the back of a bus which said ‘Are you power cut prepared?’
Surely , with Ed Millicunt in charge power cuts have been consigned to the dustbin of history.
13
I’m certain large portions of our “diverse” population aren’t prepared for fuck all..
So bring on the inevitable power cuts,it’ll see off miliband and his eco warrior rabble once and for all.
Oh and Treason May and the Climate Act the “tories” voted in are solar powered Cunts as well.
14
I’m fairly sure, Guzzi, that that ad would have been from some griffter selling magic beans that glo in the dark.
0
Being a person who lived through the 3 day week, with power cuts, I can assure you all that I have candles, battery operated lights, batteries, calor gaz stove, calor gaz.
I’m not some kind of survivalist, I don’t live in a primative shelter, or yurt, I’m not going without a light to read by or a hot drink ever again.
0
I know someone who went to A&E with breathing difficulties and a chest infection. He was told that he would ‘normally’ be issued with a nebuliser, but the salbutamol was in heavy demand at present. So he could go whistle for it, and call an ambulance if his oxygen level gets below some arbitrary point on a made up scale (I presume this is when he goes blue). On what basis is salbutamol distributed nowadays, I wonder? Age of patient? Personal wealth/worth of patient? Skin tone of patient? whether the patient has just arrived in a rubber boat? The NHS is a total disaster zone populated with thick fatso cunts. Fucking worthless.
Good morning, everyone.
15
The answer is to employ an illiterate semi feral relative of Sam Beau as a lackey,if you fall ill send the cunt to get your medicine..
they’ll come back with enough free stuff to keep the Grim Reaper at bay for years.
Or go yourself but wrapped in old smelly bedsheets after having a bath in Bisto and goat piss.
Perfect.
8
Good advice, Unkle.
I think I have a Romanian chap living in my garden shed, I think I will send him down to the shops for me.
7
Just been to the chemist to get my inhaler.
There isn’t ant, the suppliers do not have any.
Excellent the government are now killing off asthmatics as well as old people.
More room for the invading cunts.
10
Hi TTCUTS,
It saved my life last year. I was bloody lucky. The hospital and service I received could not have been bettered. But I have also seen it at its; worst waiting for 9 hours on a plastic chair in a cold waiting room with a old chap with a suspected stroke or my 80 year old mate with a stoma, four days on a hospital trolley in a corridor.
We have to value the NHS because when the chips are down and you really are in trouble you don’t get taken along to your nice BUPA or AXA hospital you end up in the NHS.
The problem is there are too many people, not all of them resident here, who have too high expectations of the NHS.
7
I met someone who went into hospital with a broken ankle and wound up with his leg being amputated. No in one go, but over a course of three separate surgeries (a true story). Fuck that shit, I pity any poor bastard who gets an ingrowing toenail.
4
If you are poor in today’s Britain, the last thing you want is to get seriously ill and have to rely on the NHS…….
10
My daughter is a pain team nurse and she readily admits that the NHS is now overburdened with non jobs and international staff, she was recently asked would she like to go back onto intensive care after leaving that environment 3 years ago for her present job….her reply was that she’d be the one needing intensive care if she did 😩….a thanks but no thanks, it’s getting to the point of you need to know a language or two just so you can hopefully communicate with the ‘international’ influx 🌎…nurse,nurse I’m in pain, no worries I throw de 🐔 bones 🥴
10
My doctor gave me great advice, I rang him and said I feel cold in bed at night, he said give Ron Knee a call and ask him if you can borrow Salma Hayek for the winter.
Ron, can you send her round please 💪
Or maybe I will just wear socks and an overcoat 😢
8
Sorry Sick; she’s mine, all mine…
You’ll have to make do with these;
https://www.muscleandfitness.com/women/galleries/11-most-beautiful-photos-salma-hayek/
4
I knew you wouldn’t 😂
2
Overcoat and socks it is then, SOI.
Or do what I do, and wear thermal teeshirts and long John’s in bed.
Cheap as chips at Aldi/Lidl on special buy days, although they’re probably flogging Spring cleaning aids atm.
I’ve paid about £4 per item for long sleeved tops and leggings and they’re excellent, wash and dry in a few hours.
Mind, I bought some thermal socks last week, wore a pair and they were so uncomfortable, I can’t tell you.
Just weird, uncomfortable socks?
2
Pretty sure socks in whatever size are always made in one standard shape Jeezum. Only explanation must be you have non-standard feet.
0
Some new trivial health advice in from Wessy himself – Streeting – Politics answer to Alan Carr:
If you are having your photograph taken for the staff magazine or the local newspaper, be sure to use plenty of eye shadow, so they can see you’re wink – and make sure it doesn’t clash with the lipstick, duckies.
6
OT just seen a young woman on the TV telling us how we must give up fossil fuels now or the end of the world is imminent.
She is a Pakistani with a pronounced Australian accent…..
8
So, an accredited expert, then.
2
Just able to get back on after ‘site can’t be reached’ for more than 24 hrs. Anybody else have the same problem?
This kind of infantilisation has been going on for years. I remember some cunt in the HR Dept where I used to work putting out this stuff to justify their pathetic existence. We used to get memos such as ‘wear sensible shoes in the office’ or ‘remember that cactus plants can sting’. I kid you not.
Afternoon all.
8
Yes, it’s been down for me too.
6
I was beginning to thik we’d been taken out…
6
I had a day earlier this week when I couldn’t access the site.
I called Trump and he threatened to put tariffs on the server.
My access was restored.
I hope he puts tariffs on TurdFence.
7
57 years on this planet have taught me the sad lesson that the average person is that thick. More worrying is that statistically 50% are even thicker.
5
Chest feeders; unforgivable!
6
Uterus havers.
3
Birth parent.
3
Cervical screening, which used to be called smear test, is a test to check the health of the cervix and help prevent cervical cancer. It’s offered to women and people with a cervix aged 25 to 64.
Copied straight off NHS web site this minute.
1
Kill me now!
0
people with a cervix ffs!
0
It seems to me that some clarification is needed with regards to the thickness of the general population.
Level 1: Thick as a plank. Labour and Democrat voters
Level 2: Thick as a brick. Labour and Democrat office holders
Level 3 Thick as pigshit. The MSM who support Labour and the Democrats
5
Level 4 Thick as fuck
Excuse my French
5
Thick as fuck might actually be a separate category as FUCK is an acronym for Fucking Useless Cunt Keir.
Regardless, your use of French is completely appropriate.
5
By God, lovely to see Trump at the air disaster press conference today and how he handled media. God Bless America and Trump!
Common sense!!!!
2
Totally agree with this post and the joke is on us having no doubt paid in tax a fuck load of millions, if not billions, to a quango that has spent the best part of a year concocting this trite shite. Can’t wait till Reform get in to chuck these useless, tasteless, gormless cunts out of their non jobs.
1