Cadburys chocolate

is a cunt.

Once a treat, we all remember the “glass and a half” don’t we.
Well l and older cunters will, because Cadbury can’t make that claim anymore

Even the King can’t endorse the dog chocolate they purvey these days.

He’s withdrawn the Royal Warrant.

Good on you, but you’re still Jug Eared.

Cadbury, as we all know, has been bought out by the Grinch, otherwise known as the company that has turn Mis favourite Ritz crackers into bland pap.

I don’t know what the fucking hell it’s all about, unless it’s a plot to get us all used to a delicious dish of crickets?

bbcnews

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

48 thoughts on “Cadburys chocolate

  1. The cunts shouldn’t still be able to continue to use the historic brand names of companies they buy out and destroy..

    Mondelez Creme Egg anyone?

    No,don’t think so.Fuck off.

    Cunts.

    Good morning.

  2. Mondelez.👎

    The biggest threat to the English way of life since the Windrush docked.

    Upto.now these yank fucks have ruined

    Cadburys chocolate ( once the greatest chocolate in.the world)

    Ritz crackers

    Maynards sports mix.

    Three of my favourite things.

    There’s nothing they can’t fuck up.

    They should be imprisoned for crimes against taste.

    • Morning, MNC. I bet the people’s confectionery champion Paul Chuckle would have a thing or two to say about the fate of Maynards Sports Mix. Perhaps you could get him to raise a petition to present to the Labour Secretary of State for Sweets. I would certainly sign it.

      Good morning, everyone.

    • They’ve also changed the shape.

      It was a chocolate ‘bar’.made up
      of square blocks.

      But now it’s rounded off?
      Like they’re scared of sharp corners.
      Like it needs to be rounded for those with.a cleft palate to.eat.

      It’s unrecognisable from the chocolate of my youth ☹️

      I’ll.never forgive these cunts.

  3. I don’t know anyone who likes Cadbury’s crap now. Yet I saw mountains of it piled up in Tescos pre-Christmas.

    I hope half of it went unsold.

    • Our Tesco’s has an entire isle rammed full of Easter eggs and cadbury’s cream gak.
      I really don’t get this, who buys Easter eggs in January?

  4. They don’t tell you how big the glass and a half is, do they.

    Even so, you want chocolate, not fucking milk.

    As I had fuck all to do once Iade a complaint to the Advertising Standards Authority.
    It was about some shite brand of kids yoghurt.

    The TV ad claimed that one portion contained more calcium than a glass of milk.
    At the bottom of the screen in tiny writing is said that one portion was equal to 2 pots of the stuff and the glass of milk was 50ml.

    I said that a portion by anyone’s definition would be one pot and I don’t know where you can buy a glass so small that it could contain 50ml (3 and a bit tablespoons full).

    Anyone who took the time to do the calculations would work out that one pot contained the calcium in a tablespoon and a half of milk.
    Therefore, fuck all.

    I never heard back from them.

  5. The adverts for Cadbury are enough to make you never buy the shit again, the kid going into the shop (Asian shopkeeper, aren’t they all) with bits of crap… ‘it’s for my mum’ and then the poster bollocks with the boon.

    Cadbury crème egg ‘how do you eat yours’, ffs.

    Sky news last night made me vomit (choking with laughter)

    2025 Bradford, city of culture, could be the year we uncover the city of grooming/rape 😂😂😂

    • City of Culture Soi, or as normal people would say, this years winner of the competition to find the town in which you would least like to live.

  6. i thought it was just me, but not just cadnurys but most of the commercial chocolate now tastes shit, waxy, greasy and bland. at christmas we had the normal roses and all the other varieties and all were shite……i then did a bit of googling and despite kraft promising not to go the american way of making chocolate when they bought cadbury….they lied.

    less cocoa content and more palm oil and other shite.

    back when i was a kid you would get a large slab of dairy milk to yourself and eat it until you were sick…you couldnt stop yourself…now after a couple of chunks, you just say no thanks, no more for me.

    deffo not buying it any more

    • I’ve never liked Cadbury creme eggs.

      That weird emulsion type filling 😖

      And it can turn you ducky.

      Knew a bloke , builder, three kids,
      Married man,
      Ate a creme egg?

      He’s now travelling on tour with the lady boys if Bangkok.
      Calls himself Velvet.

      Cadburys settled out of court.
      50grand and a selection box

  7. Funnily enough the missus was just last night sat on the sofa eating some Celebrations given to us over Christmas commenting on how shit Cadbury chocolate was these days.

    I wasn’t paying much attention having said that, seeing, as I was, if it was possible to get pissed off the liqueur chocolates some cheap bastard customer had given us in lieu of a bottle of wine.

  8. I see His Majesty still gave the Royal seal of approval to Charbonnel et Walker, posh cunt. I suppose Lord St John of Fawlsey would have approved.

  9. A bit parky out there, and apparently we went within a whisker of power blackouts on Wednesday evening. Gas reserves are half what they should be, and Energy Supremo General Sir DickEd is nowhere to be seen or heard.

    Maybe he’s looking into burning Cadburys chocolate to generate the leccy.

  10. Chocolate should be an extravagance, not some shit that you buy off a Pákí in his stinking shop.

    Pay proper money and get it sent from Belgium.

    Chocolate and sprouts are what the fat cunts are good at, and they can stick their sprouts up their ample arses.

    • Is that from the fevered imagination of one of those robots that they keep saying will take over the world?

      I don’t think that bar of chocolate ever saw a shop,it’s misinformation by those mad Far Right cunts of confectionery,the Swiss.

      Beware.

      • I had a paper round when I was a kid where we had to go into the back room of the shop to get our bags.

        I seem to remember nicking a few bars every now and then along with a carton or two of Embassy.

    • It’s all got smaller too!

      I was once on the front of the Stockport Express after saving a baby from a burning building.
      I used a curly wurly as a ladder.

      You couldn’t do that now!

  11. I’ve for years stopped eating chocolate and other confectionery due to it causing diabetes, besides it making you fat and not nice to look at. Sorry for being a bugbear and not joining in with most of you and choices of lovely chocolates and sweets to munch on. It was a novelty at first when it was rationed and hard to get. Now all the thrill as gone out of it, besides its no good anymore due to the yank fucking it up, like they do with most things.

  12. Broadly agree with fellow cunter’s opinions. Bought the wife some Belgian chocolates in France once and it was a revelation. One chocolate beside tasting amazing would have substituded for a small meal. I was in one of Hewlett Packard’s offices on London Wall and a lovely American lady gave me a box of American chocolates as a thankyou. Very kind of her but I’m afraid to us they tasted fucking ‘orrible.

  13. The glass and a half of milk will no doubt contain the new anti fart concoction 😩…mooooooo 🐮 … it taste more like crapburys anyway now, don’t each much chocolate but when I do it’s lindt for me 🍫

  14. This thread got me looking up what had happened to all the Milky Bar Kids. I was reading some tedious Mail article on this subject when I was linked to an article about Claudia Schiffer’s daughter excelling in the role of swimsuit model. Gotta say, as a proudly lecherous middle aged old p*rvert, there’s a couple of authentic sweeties that I’d sooner wrap my mouth around vs anything Cadbury has ever produced

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-14136507/Claudia-Schiffers-daughter-Clementine-20-spitting-image-supermodel-mum-54-showcases-incredible-figure-plunging-cutout-swimsuit.html

  15. A good way of finding out a mental case in an adult, is to find those with chocolate smeared all over their face like a baby and simply lock them up. Firstly, you must make doubly sure its not due to some perverse sex act.

  16. There wouldn’t be any British woman around today falling for that crap. I’ve often wondered how many lives were ruined during wartime.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *