I’m in a festive, goodwill to all men, mood this Christmas morning, so it’s time to cunt Big Issue sellers.

I sort of liked the idea of the Big Issue when it was conceived all those years ago – the idea of giving someone fallen on a shit situation a purpose and means of earning a living in order to give them independence and control over their lives and so that they could then move back into regular work and have the means to sustain their own accommodation. The right balance of charity and self-responsibility it seemed to me.

But what I’ve noticed is that these fuckers don’t seem to want to ever do anything more than stand there selling this dogshit rag, there’s no sign (amongst the ones I encounter at least) of them ever taking the next challenging steps of getting a proper job and moving themselves back into society.

I used to occasionally buy a copy / put a few quid in the hands of a foreign (muzzie) looking female seller who plies you with the Big Issue guilt down by the entrance of our local supermarket. I nipped in there yesterday, and, sure enough, there she was as usual with that guilt-tripping beatific smile, only it’s Christmas so you should be feeling especially bad for her and dig even deeper into your pocket. But I pretended to be on my phone as I went in and out of the supermarket. Why? Cos she’s been there for ten fucking years! And still all the over-monied locals of this neighbourhood buy her magazine and give her dosh in her hand, instead of saying to her listen love we’ve been happy to support you getting onto your own two feet this last decade, but maybe it’s time to start walking by yourself now?

I’m sure many of you will think I’m the cunt here, I’m willing to take the flak on this to see what others think.

big issue

Nominated by Balsamic Dave.