Not Being Barely Legal Again


In this age of the ever rising pinnacle of technological achievements, from self-driving cars, cancer seeking nanobots, telescopes that can peer into the very edge of the cosmos, why oh why are the laws of the Universe such a cunt that scientists can’t invent a time machine and make me 16 again so I can benefit from the kindliness of these lovely young ladies who have been banned from Australia and are to be deported from Fiji because of their mission to lay scores of barely legal teenage lads?

If Australia doesn’t want to put them up, I’ve got a spare room that I’ll gladly lend out to them, if they’re willing to slightly bend the rules on their target age bracket (I’m sure with a baseball cap, some trousers round me knees, and some painted on acne they’ll hardly notice the unwanted additional thirty years).

New York Post.

Nominated by : Balsamic Dave

53 thoughts on “Not Being Barely Legal Again

  1. I’ve “investigated” the complex and most energetic romantic entanglements of the young British lady and her friends.

    A sporting lady as they used to say in better times..

    I had have a sit down and a biscuit.

    Good morning.

  2. Equally importantly,if some bugger in a grass skirt in Fiji can deport these ladies for reasons of moral turpitude then why doesn’t that little cunt Cooper simply designate all the dinghy vermin as “porn stars” and set about throwing them out at once for endangering the publics moral fibre?

    vermin Oven.

    • Exactly, at last, some fucking sense.

      Yes, she’s fit. So what?

      Why would I want to bang someone literally 100’s of other men have been digging around in?

      Imagine the emotional/spiritual carnage, zero chance of pair bonding, and when the looks are gone, as they always do, what a fucking mess she’s left wiith.

      Not for me, nor any other self respecting man.

  3. I do concur with many of the comments on here re: the tedium of youth.

    I remember banging a teenager when I was in my late twenties, and she was all firm in the right places, but lay there like a sack of spuds with no clue what to do, and then I had to endure the conversation afterwards. I terminated the liaison within two weeks at the incomprehension of my lascivious mates who couldn’t comprehend the decision.

    Her mother was at my father’s funeral a few years ago by coincidence. Made it clear that were it not for the stiff in the box she’d have had a showdown with me. I pointed out it was her daughter who pursued me, but what she had had to offer was not worth the hassle. She didn’t like that….

    Yes, give me a sex crazed cougar any day, the nom was just for shits and gigs as they say.

      • That’s the sad thing about so much of the porn on the net Termy. I don’t have any problem with seeing good looking women with their kit off. What I can’t get on with is the sites where women are tied up, beaten, strangled and having it pushed in the wrong hole. In the UK until thirty years ago it was a criminal offence to put your dick in her rear hole, even if it was with your wife and she requested it. There were no exemptions under the law.Until that time also a man could not be charged with raping his wife under British law. Been some changes over the years.

      • Didn’t mean like that Arfur.

        Never understood that shit either, unless it’s just pathetic ‘men’ getting off on being abusive.

    • I also shagged a teenage lass (legal) when I was 27 and, as tight as she was, she was also a boring lay. I think my bar was probably set too high as I lost my V to a bird who was 31 and filthy.

      • Erm have we shared a parallel life Two? That is the exact story of my romantic history!

        I also remember the teenage girl blandly telling me how she was having lots of orgasms as she lay there absolutely fucking motionless, as if that’s what I wanted to hear and as if telling me that persuaded me that that was what she was experiencing. I think she was confusing an orgasm with pins and needles. Crappest shag of my life. The picture they paint on porn sites of teenagers being sexually unconstrained nympho gymnastics champions is pure shite. You wouldn’t expect a work experience placement to be any good at doing your accounts, same goes for anyone under the age of 25 in the sack.

      • @Balsamic Dave

        You’re not wrong. When I was in phase 2 army training based down in Dorset/Wiltshire, I was SHAGGED BY a 5 foot power house who knew exactly how to handle a cock.

        I later found out that she owned a strap-on, that her favourite position was the Amazon position and that she made a commissioned officer in the local garrison waddle back to camp while claiming that “he” ruined her. I got away quite luckily I think. She was a fantastic shag though.

  4. I can sympathize with the problem. Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited are shooting on location in Bradford this week, and several sex pests have approached us as they have been aroused by little Yvette Cooper in her school uniform, and have been asking for roles as extras in the minicab office gang-bang scenes. We did tell them that two gins and she was anybodies, but sadly she was suffering from a STD and couldn’t oblige, either in film or off. That’s the problem with employing these nubile young girls. We should have got Harriet Harman and shot it through muslin – though I know she’d prefer muslim.

  5. These cunts move the goalpoasts without telling anyone.
    When I was younger, a 16 year old Sam Fox with her lallies out on Page 3 was no problem. However, years later, there’s all this Me Too lunacy, and it’s now ‘wrong’.

    So, how come it’s ‘OK’ to look at a 21 year old Sam, and ‘not OK’ to look at a 16 year old Sam? It’s still the same person, above the age of consent.

    Mind you, it’s ‘not OK’ to look at Page 3 at all now, as it has been banned by the woke nutters and minger femquisition. For some reason. attractive women with nice tits really get to them. They see them as a threat to society.

    • With all of the independently-wealthy Onlyfans slags about nowadays, we may see a civil war brewing between the sex-negative (fat, ugly) feminists and the sex positive (slim, pretty) feminists. I want that civil war to happen…… in a huge tub of mud or jelly. Not really bothered which.

  6. Eeeh i remember when the then 15 year old strumpet lindsey dawn mckenzie teased daily sport readers in the run up to her 16th birthday in a series of ooh i say pictures, then wallop out they did bounce, nice n slutty. The year i bought my first laminator.

  7. Perhaps make sure you stink of weed and lynx africa, BD.
    The true scent of a teenager nowadays.
    Oh, and try not to shower for a fortnight.
    Modern teenage girls seem to love it.

    • Quite right that these two should be banned. Heaven forbid that horny teenage lads should get their dicks wet, they’d never recover from the experience and their lives would be ruined.
      I will offer to stand in for them, I can still get a bone on if I have something stimulating enough to look at. Probably can’t pass for a teenager but I don’t need painted-on acne, I looked in the mirror the other day and I had a pimple on my nose. A fucking pimple at my age. Jesus Christ!

    • Thinks haven’t changed that much since I was a teenage lad in the 90’s. Back then, the musk of a teenage lad was Lynx and fags… (and B.O).

  8. How come we don’t see naked pygmies in the jungle anymore, is that also band. Used to get a hard-on due to the tits looking larger on girls so small. Wasn’t interesting in David Attenborough fobbing them off with cocoa tin lids to hang round their necks, in exchange for ivory.

  9. Deporting them is a crime against humanity.

    Boggs Pornographic Productions Ltd. should do a documentary on their lives and the struggle to beatify them.

    It could be called Angels of Mercy.

  10. Having read the story of the dirty little strumpet, I took it upon myself to do some further research on sites that all seem to have X in the title.

    After two weeks of in depth study, locked in my study. I can confirm that she is average at best and rather disappointing in the tit department.

  11. They should work for Children in need
    All those poor boys with nothing but a wanksock for company.

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