or, as they now want you to spell their brand “jaGUar” is a cunt.
Though far from being a car fetishist or enthusiast or whatever those daft cunts who have gear for brains and ball bearing grease instead of sperm jizzing out of their bellends call themselves, I have always had a deep respect for the classy & solid design paired with decent material the good old Jags used to stand for.
And if I weren’t the miserable prole cunt I am and could spare a year’s wage for a ride, I should without thinking twice go and get myself some shiny XK8 or even better an 80s XJS and have all the bliss and fun an old cunt could possibly get in this world.
But alas, as if it weren’t enough to visually pollute the landscape with those abominable electric SUVs they started producing some years ago, they have now gone full wokeywank with their new commercial, featuring a pack of morbidly malnourished and pervy looking androids in ridiculous apparel and even more ridiculous slogans that could maybe sell some worthless fashion rags, but certainly not a car. Silly cunts.
Nominated by : Lord Cuntstable Emeritus
Second gear change from Hard Brexit Cunt :
Jaguar used to make getaway motors for villains. Now, it seems from their widely criticised woke advert, that they have diversified (pun intended) into making clobber for trannies, freaks and weirdos who inhabit fetish clubs.
Like virtually all modern adverts, normal white people are conspicuous by their absence. There are a couple of whiteys, but one is distinctly androgynous and the other one looks like a Poundland Iggy Pop tribute act, probably with a penis inserted into its anus. Also conspicuously absent from the advert are cars! Yes, the commodity that Jaguar was famous for making.
Scottish comedian Leo Kearse has brilliantly reviewed it in his latest YouTube video:
Is this Jaguar’s Bud Light moment?
Changing up to third gear is this from TwatVarnish :
Oh Jesus! Yet another bout of woke wankery of gold standard measures…Jaguar Cars.
A once loved British brand, Jaguar has deliberately gone down the skiddy shitpan of inclusive advertising, which has backfired on them. Just the same as the whole Bud Light bollocks, some of these brands never seem to learn that the vast majority of folks, are rightly sick and tired of degeneracy and woke agendas being forced into brands that have fuck all to do with that sort of thing.
Level-headed people want efficient engineering, good styling and impressive machinery, not a collection of freaks mincing around on an advert with their self styled “progressiveness”.
The main problem the way I see it, are these middle-management anus reamers and spotty marketing pricks (usually fresh out of Manbun University) who love a flowery mood board and soya latte session & discuss how to fuck off as many previously loyal Jaguar customers as they can. It must be hard to walk to their vending machines without slipping over on hipster jizz?
Either this is some sort of bad joke, a satire or they’re serious. They’ve even rebranded the well known leaping Jaguar logo with a boring plain font type. Jaguar have turned themselves from a big cat of the Panthera genus into an emaciated limp wristed whelk. What in the hell happened?
The jag. Used to be the motor of the cad or bank robber.
Now the choice of cunts.
20
The worrying thing is: what if they are right? what if those bunch of fucking weirdos are the future? Apparently, the share price of jag’s parent company, Tata motors, hasn’t suffered.
10
Imagine, mi’Lord, walking down the street and having sniggering and ” Ooo, look, a heterosexual” hissed at you!
Fortunately, we outnumber them at the moment.
1
It’s share price on the LSE has fell off a cliff, year on year, down around 30% from close to 1200 to now just shy of 800.
They are going bust, no doubt about it.
3
Oh, good news.
2
As the previous owner of an XJR, I can confirm that Jaguar lost their way some time after 2004 when they started making cars to accommodate fat arsed Americans.
It’s only gone downhill from there.
Their latest offering, although only a concept car is totally soulless. A complete departure from the mission statement of ‘Grace, pace and space’ that proper jags were designed with in mind.
As a Jaaaag owner, you would purchase your car knowing that they cost a fortune to run and maintain if done right. When correctly looked after, they were an absolute joy to drive.
Considering the biggest issue with all Jags seemed to be intermittent electrical gremlins, building an all electric vehicle for mincers seems like a really shit idea.
They’ll probably be bankrupt this time next year.
16
There is only one possible response to that revolting advert:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6dALp4VPU8
12
Who is the cunt with whiskers wearing a skirt that was “not short enough”? Jaguar’s CEO or something?
There’s the problem right there, weirdos like that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a boardroom.
12
Or children
17
Was the jaguar advert a example of life in modern Britain, full of blàckies,bèñders and bampots. Just needed a peaceful exploding for the full house..
Might be the best thing for the car if it did explode.
14
Oh well, at least that’s 4 cars they should be able to sell.
To Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Lala and Po.
17
Otherwise known as the Labour Front Bench, Geordie.
19
The way ahead…changing spark plugs for butt plugs.
Good afternoon, everyone.
17
Never was a fan of the e type, it looked like a commer van with its wheels tucked in underneath. The sweeney will never say happiness is a warm jaaaaag ever again.
7
Don’t suppose any gang of villains will be looking at the new breed of getaway drivers…Oi,oi, knuckles who’s that geezer wots is name hymen or summat is he any good….cooee it’s Inman and yes I’m free 😩….TATA the big cat 🐆
7
I’ve no idea what effect for good or bad this may have on Jaguar sales, but I do know for a fact that it’s the most ludicrously pretentious piece of shit I’ve seen in many a day, and that’s saying something.
Afternoon all.
23
Appealing to sexual deviants as your primary customer base seems to be a flawed marketing strategy.
Gammons have money. Faggots don’t.
6
I should think William Lyons is gently revolving.
8
The Jaguar MK2 is still my favourite ever car. A real beauty IMO😍
9
Go woke go broke.Clueless arseholes.
13
Bloody Hell
It’s a completion between the advert makers to see who can make iconic brands look like absolute cunts, whoever signed off on this one should taken out and shot 😂
At least it gives work to the freaks who would otherwise only be seen in a fairground side show and gives us something to laugh at on ISAC
14
I’ve probably got one good car left in me and it won’t be a puff cat.it will have a V8 or V12 .
13
I think I saw 2TK in that Jag-U-ar ad.
13
O/T, what cultural riches do these cunts bring to the UK..
BBC News – Parents guilty of causing buried Birmingham boy’s death – BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cew298qg8lxo
20
Igbo i.e. Nigerian. Like the Tory party leader.
8
Diddly squat.Diversity my arse.Deserves to be shot and shot again.
4
Jags are puffs cars.
Always been the case.
Ducky mobiles.
8
Famous Jag drivers
Quentin Crisp
Huw Edwards
Philip Schofield
Duncan ‘ chase me ‘ Norvel
Marc Almond
Ronnie kray
Andi peters.
Get a van.
Yer bunch of fairies.
11
Faguar 😁
10
I’ll see your Faguar and raise you a Draguar, or even a Haguar.
2
I met Duncan a few times he used to drink in my mates pub he always drove Merc 560 SECs nice bloke and nothing like his stage persona he deffo wasn’t a puff lol.
7
Now Dale Winton was a jag driver.
6
Naw, Duncan was straight.
Just part of his act.
Quite funny too.
I admit I made most of it up.😆
6
Lol
2
LOL
I saw the poor sod on some tele prog visiting a Skegness B&B not long ago he had had some horrendous stroke could hardly speak or walk.
3
And Lance Percival.
0
So the rebranding has made it, a Faguar.
Guess it will appeal to some, except for the core loyal clients of years gone bye.
Mid life crisis men, approaching retirement will not be seen dead in a Faguar.
7
You fkr Mis, you beat me to it.
6
Unbelievable bollocks. Jaguar should seek counselling for suicidal thoughts. I reckon this is an incident of Russian sabotage nothing else makes sense, the poxy shite ad certainly doesn’t (sure I met the bald cunt in the advert the last time I was hospitalised, some delusional shite or something) And another thing a friend said to me “I want to see a rainbow the way I did when I was a kid, not automatically think of two geezers bumming, or a “”woman” with a dick”. Couldn’t think of anything to cheer him up. I think a very valid observation.
12
Rawdon Glover??? Really?? FFS. His parents must have MAJOR cunts
I’d love to be fly on the wall at the end 2025 investors/Board of directors meetings.
8
“must have been” Bloody phone and my fat thumbs.
2
To be held on Skid Row?
5
Rawdong Lover.
2
So,if I understand this disaster correctly,Jaguar has ceased making sports cars and have decided to make AIDS instead?
Good luck to them,no doubt in my mind Rachel from Accounts will offer them a £50,000,000 subsidy.
8
Silly me,I’ve missed at least 2 noughts from the inevitable subsidy.
I can’t add up,so my position in the Cabinet is assured.
7
Dianne Flabbotomous school of maths Unkle
6
Don’t you mean Rachel from Customer Relations.
5
The problem with Jaguar is that they haven’t made a car that looks like a Jag for many years. Gone are the graceful, curvaceous lines of the Jag which seduced everyone from the Krays to Enzo Ferrari, replaced by soulless Euroboxes which could just as easily be a Seat or a Nissan Kumquat. The F-type was also a disappointment which failed to tickle my petrolhead parts. What happened to the company that produced the utterly beautiful E-Type, the C-Type or the XJC Coupe V12? Reduced to parading pansies and trannies in fetish gear in advertisements rather than cars! A disgrace.
However, I’m intrigued by the concept car design they released this week. Forgetting the fact that it has an electric supercharged milk float engine, it was a bold design. It looks a bit hideous in the drawing – as do most cars in their prototype drawings. And the front end looks a bit square and American, but from the rear and sides it has some resemblance to the classic Jag heritage. In a decent, sober colour like British Racing Green rather than Tranny Pink, it could look stunning in the metal.
4
It looks like an ’80s Volvo estate on steroids, a wardrobe on wheels.
Who in their right mind us going to pay 100 grand for that heap of shit?
And with Jaguar’s historically appalling build quality (thanks BL), in particular electrical problems, making your entire fleet electric only seems like madness to me.
3
Fuck me, who designed that? Harvey Price?
8
His dad, Vincent.
6
It’s the XJ-Gay. Available in any colour as long as it’s Shocking Pink.
7
Well done, MMCM.
Good ol’ Henry Ford’s immortal words reimagined ( as they say, these days)
As to the ad, it’s an abortion.
7
It’s terrible, JP. Whoever conceived it must have been on a bad trip.
4
As its gone viral it’s kind of ruined the chance, but I defy anyone without prior knowledge of which company produced that ad to watch it and tell me what it is advertising.
4
Much like they did with Rotus, I believe the chınks are, through intermediaries, getting parent company Tata to crash the value of the Jaguar brand so the slitty-eyed devils can buy the rights for pennies on the dorrar.
11
And they have a lot of Dorrasrs to dump TtCE.
They got Volvo many years back along with others.
A Volvo was never the same afterwards.
3
All cars look the same now.
A few year’s ago everyone went for the colour silver, then everyone wanted a white car.
The old car ads showed their cars speeding along empty roads, the 0 – 60 time was advertised.
Different car manufacturers had different cars.
Each would have a sports model, an everyday car and something that a rep would drive around in.
Today’s adverts show nothing of the car.
No point, they are all the same.
They won’t show how fast they accelerate.
They think that you won’t ask the salesman when you go to buy one.
Stupid cunts.
With that in mind car manufacturers have to hold on to their customer base.
The head of marketing at Jaguar has really stepped on his cock.
Their customer base of well off, middle aged, white men will not want to be associated with their wokeness.
Good…. Fuck Jaguar.
9
I’m an automotive design engineer, TAC…cars all look the same mostly because of bloody pedestrian safety. Lights have to be a certain height and angle/orientation, bumpers a certain height and a host of other tedious shit that guarantees design duplication.
I’d love to mow down a cyclist in a real Jaguar, a 60’s Mk10, see how they’d fare getting fucked by a proper chrome bumper.
9
This isn’t one of your designs is It Thomas?
Big, throbbing pink, battery powered,
Basically the worlds most expensive vibrator.
5
You can always tell if its a Cunt Engine design because the boot can comfortably accommodate two bodies.
8
If I planned a revolution and get the fk out of my way.
It would be in the original Red Toyota land cruiser with the nasty white painted steel front bumper.
A classic of the indestructible and underrated brute
No one parked too close to those yokes.
No contest and all you’d have is a scratch, while the other things would be write offs.
5
Even when they do show a car it’s a left hand drive, and has every single optional extra possible, most of which is not available in the UK They’ll also give you the base price, say £20k, at the bottom of the screen but the model shown is £52k.
3
https://youtube.com/shorts/rcZlymSly3M?si=r_1ba8ef_nrYUDpF
7
I wouldn’t be seen dead in a Jag.
It hurts me to say it but the yanks designed the most beautiful cars.
Here
https://images.app.goo.gl/VeoHAhCuVnZb6y9V6
Beauty.
Love to own that.
2
And it pains me to admit (because I’ve got a rusty Mk2 Cortina) that car design peaked in 1977 with the last of the Mk3 Cortinas:
https://images.app.goo.gl/LGA1XBxk5YiVBoN78
4
Always been a bit partial to a Carmen Ghia myself Tommy.
2
Karmann, ffs auto correct
2
A Jimmy.
Yes, please.
1
I bet that none of the freaks in the advert even has a driving licence.
They look like electric scooter riders.
4
The thing they are advertising is something that’s seen in public. Then why would you want to wear such ridiculous clothing in an outmoded Motor vehicle and black at that.
3