The lack of honesty in the death of Alex Salmond (13)

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Alex Salmond has died at the age of 69. Well that’s a very comfortable position.
It seems he died by over exerting himself when opening a bottle of tomato sauce
in Macedonia. I am awaiting the coroner’s report to see if he died
by being clogged up with shortbread. It seems he didn’t pay the travel
insurance because his supporters wanted the RAF to repatriate his body with
a special flight. Scotland doesn’t have its own air force of course.

Alex Salmond: A disgraced former first minister, political opportunist, fat cunt.
His critics were less kind. This is the man who sued his own lawyer
who kept the fat pest out of jug. He was suing the Scottish Parliament
for £1m for God knows what. A man who uses the law to his own advantage
and not for justice. The man who campaigned for decades to separate Scotland from the rest of the UK. The man whose opinions caused arguments in families and between friends. An arse hole. Good riddance.

I just wish someone would stand up in parliament and say that.

The herald

Nominated by Anton Pillar.

48 thoughts on “The lack of honesty in the death of Alex Salmond (13)”

  3. Which particular arsehole in parliament were you thinking could credibly take on the job of calling this fat arsehole out for what he was and the rest of them all still are?

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  4. Wouldn’t argue with your summing up of Salmond there Anton, but remember who it was enabled the fat freak; one Anthony Charles Lynton Blair.

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  5. None too shy about taking English money was he the bloated lardarse windbag?

    The SNP are complete cunts and this fat wańker one of the most riddled of the lot,which takes some doing.

    Tartan haggis Oven.

    Good morning.

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  7. Big fat Alex was a necessary evil that we had to endure in order to get the racy ‘Nazi’ Nicola years.

    Good morning, everyone.

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  9. In all conscience was Alex Salmond REALLY worse than some of the self important, expenses and headline grabbing motherfuckers we have in Parliament in November 2024, take this fucking old trollop, for example:

    https://news.sky.com/story/labour-mp-dawn-butler-shares-tweet-linking-kemi-badenoch-to-white-supremacy-in-blackface-13248072

    Did Alex Salmond Joe Ronce £20,000 of schmutter off an over indulgent donor?

    Concentrate your anger on the politicians still alive – I will say this for him – at least he believed in SOMETHING, unlike Starmer who believes in fuck all except his own self importance.

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    • Yes dawn ” the chosen one” butler, chosen to be first on the tyre swing, or the all you can eat chiggun buffet.

      Let’s see if Rodney has the balls to upset the pavement ape voters by sacking her.

      Anyway pass the ketchup..

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      • One of old Winnie’s “necklaces” would not come amiss with that old tart, she looks like a run down prostitute.

      • Reminds me of the time Nelson Mandela was walking down the road only to encounter some of the brothers giving an innocent bystander a burning necklace. He was absolutely furious.

        “Turn it in, for fuck’s sake, turn it in!” he shouted. “WHAT have I told you??!! NEVER mix cross-plies with radials!”

  10. Wee Jimmy Sturgeon must be overjoyed at Salmond’s death.
    If ever she has to explain where money’s been spent, (such as a campaign bus for example), she can make up whatever bullshit she wants in the knowledge Salmond can’t be subpoenaed to give evidence.

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  11. Death’s knocked on the wrong door with its scythe. It should be knocking on the one in Down and Out Street, where the real cunt temporarily lives.

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  13. I understand the principle of not speaking ill of the dead, but all that ‘principled politician’ guff was just bollocks.
    If the opportunities for advancement up the greasy pole had been offered by Scottish Labour or the Conservatives, he’d have jumped on their bandwagon without a second thought.
    Independence was just a convenient platform for him. He’d have shit his pants if they actually won the referendum, as he’d then have to answer serious questions about health, the economy, defence etc.
    He played the game, earned a few quid and avoided real work for most of his life.
    That’s the epitaph I’d give him.

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    • It was, the actress playing Rab’s wife was a big supporter on the SNP, Gregory Fisher to be fair had nothing to do with them or politics in general, met him once at Glasgow Airport in the queue for the flight back down to London, nice chap no airs or graces, just friendly and polite.

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  15. Great nom + clearly justified comments.
    Perhaps he was just so excited at the thought of his next free lunch he just over-exerted himself with the ketchup in anticipation.
    🍅

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    • It was quite an undignified way to go, but it could have been worse – just imagine Mandy, Wes or Kweer expiring as they try to unscrew the Preparation H tube.

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      • as long as they don’t get it mixed up with the Deep Heat tube – or maybe they do for a bit of added zing – I’m not really au fait with homo-sexual practices.

      • It would make for some very interesting A & E scenes if superglue got put in KY Jelly tubes. Wessy as patient instead of dictator.

      • The picture isnt pretty but comical though, hot lady asks Alex to loosen the ketchup bottle, not wanting to pass up a chance to show his virility, takes up the chance to help and with a strain grabs his chest and goes “crivens me heart!”, legs fly up in the air and everyone sees his crown jewels under his kilt.

  19. More will come out about this fucking sleezeball now he cant litigate.

    Ketchup in Macedonia? They must have deep fried a pizza for the fat cunt.

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  28. Never speak ill of the dead. A long serving motto of mine.
    In this case – I must make an exception.
    Lake Ochrid in North Macedonia is a pure crystal water lake so clean that it is possible to drink directly from it. I know from personal experience. One of the most heavenly places on earth.
    Thank fuck they shipped his piss riddled, minge fiddling turd outta there before he spoiled the water table with his vile rotting corpse.
    His legacy? I life speaking bollocks that meant nothing to anyone but himself.
    Fuck you fat boy.

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  29. I recall a time that I was visiting, briefly, Dundee only to have the displeasure of being confronted by the now deceased, Lard of the Isles, who stated that I looked like a man that would vote for an independent Scotland. I corrected the fat twat by stating that, he looked like a man that had been incorrectly discharged from brain surgery. The speechless look on the fat cunts face was a priceless. One of my only fond memories of Salmond the Hutt. I just wish the rest of the SNP would follow in his footsteps tomorrow – the UK would be a better place.

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