People who buy cheap foreign shit over the internet

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are cunts.

Check out the Temu croissant lamp:

tiktok

We’ve all bought Chinese knock off crap from the tiny men with fiendish yellow brains, or so I am told. But who would have imagined they would be dipping breakfast pastries in plastic and knocking them out for under a tenner? Brilliant.

Of course, any croissant lamp that uses an actual croissant is definitely a fake. A real croissant lamp costs around £90.00.

The possibilities for making a few quid seem limitless. Maybe one day there will be a cunt lamp…

Nominated by Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea.

32 thoughts on “People who buy cheap foreign shit over the internet”

  2. All the stuff that people buy from Amazon is from the same chınky warehouses as the tat that comes from Temu, you’re just cutting out the middleman.
    It’s a false economy anyway…you need to spend half-decent money on proper equipment.
    I learned my lesson after buying cheap rope from the dog munchers at Ali Express and a couple of my love dungeon guests managed to bite through it and escaped.
    Thankfully, the implanted trackers (from a proper English electronics company) were more than sufficient in expiditing their retrieval.

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    • Thomas could you “store” Rachel Reeves for me for a week or so?. Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited want her for our first 2025 production “Knickers Must Fall”. You can have a go on her if you want to . Bite her nipples to get her ready for the torture scenes.

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      • WC, may I suggest a sequel to ‘Knickers Must Fall’ entitled ‘Rachel Fucks 12 Million Pensioners’.

    • yup – afraid to say, I buy loads from Ali Express. As you say, it’s the same shit as Amazon, just cheaper. Dog bed – 2/3 price. Helmet visor – same as “sportsbikshop”, but £5 instead of £30, Triumph regulator – £390 from Triumph, £26 from AliExpress (and it works better). Unfortunately, it is nigh on impossible to buy goods not made in China. A friend asked me to look at his Stihl hedge-trimmer. He paid a lot of cash for it – stripped it down and, lo and behold, made in China. They have taken over the world whether we like it or not. We never learned any lessons from the destruction of the UK motorbike business, and the Europeans are now finding the same thing with cars from China.

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  3. I’ve been trying to get one of those candles that smell like that actress birds fanny,sold out in every shop I ask in,or they don’t stock the item,I’ll try the internet,thanks.

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    • Mirian Margoyles?
      Why would you want a candle that smells like a beach filled with rotting fish and dolphin carcasses?

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      • I once burnt incense that had the aroma of top snatch and for the life of me, can’t remember its name.

      • My preference is to “eat out” women, rather than shag them, due to getting a bit too old for that now.

      • Good Morning TCE, Sammy, Hugh and Everyone,

        I once went for a pee in a customer’s lavatory just after his Chinese secretary had done a dump in there. It whiffed something awful but mainly of chicken chow mien. It was up in Bridlington, you would think the wind up there would have cleared it.

  4. I enjoy the fact that all the giant sprawling factories in China,fuelled by coal,churn out billions of items daily that are just tat..

    It must drive Greta and her cave dwelling chums fucking mental knowing how utterly futile their protests are.

    Keep at it you Yellow Devils.

    Good morning.

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    • That’s good news terry, the bad news is we soon won’t have any electricity to plug this chinese tat into or even to connect to the Internet to purchase it..

      Once beaker the punched Toby jug has plunged us into the stone age..
      Still we are leading the world in pointless virtual signalling.

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      • I’d pay good money to see that cunt tied to one of his windmills in the North Sea and left to the elements.

  6. In these days of austerity for many I understand why people do buy cheap tat. Of course it is true that if you buy cheap you buy twice, but what with mega-cunts Reeves and Ed Siliband determined to bankrupt us, is it any wonder?. And a word for Amazon, if anything goes wrong whether it is a bit of plastic from the Spankie Wankie Company of China or wherever, you will either get a no quibble refund or a replacement.

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  7. I know someone who was boasting that they had bought an armchair from the internet that only cost thirty quid. It turned up in a fucking matchbox. Silly cunt.

    The Chinese with their feverish yellow brains can knock out cheap copies of absolutely anything. They have a project to replace the whole UK Government with plastic androids. I understand it is already fairly advanced. Sir Two-Tier and Angie have already been replaced, along with Wes Streeting. Of course the replicas are not perfect, check out to eyes and mouths for tell tale signs, but they will do until the mark twos are ready. Android Streeting’s arse, and Android Angie’s cunt are made from massively reinforced pvc pipe.

    Good morning, everyone.

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    • I hope they remembered the tons of makeup for Wessy, and got the right shade of lipstick. They needn’t bother with the teeth though – he would be up for gummy fellatio,

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  9. You need to download their application to use their site. That sent off alarm bells for me. Just another way of the CCP to gather information on as many people as possible. Same as the Crysos Photon machines at my work with their Huawei servers, letting the CCP know mineral exploration results before the clients. Crafty evil cunts, yet thankfully hopelessly inept and corrupt.
    I can’t type in blue on my phone but I encourage cunters to watch David Zhang’s you tube channel, China fakes everything/tofu dregs, a Taiwanese USA propaganda channel. Hopefully the CCP system will implode and fall before it starts WWIII.

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  10. Do NOT purchase the TEMU Big Boy® dildo.
    Refunds are almost impossible due to their product definition of “normal wear and tear” being somewhat lax. And when I say “tear”, I mean “ripped to shreds”.
    I`m still in therapy.
    That`ll teach me for being a vanilla slice.
    🍥

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    • Reminds me of the chap who went to the chemists on a Friday, regular as clockwork; “gimme three.”

      The same, every Friday; week in, week out.

      Eventually the chemist said to him, “look I notice you’re spending all this money on condoms each week, why don’t you try saving yourself a bit of cash and get one of these reusable jonnies?”

      Geezer thinks ok, I’ll give it a go.

      Next week he’s back in the chemist, Friday afternoon, angrily demands “gimme three!”

      “What about the reusable condom you bought last week?” the chemist asked with surprise.

      “Bleeding reusable condom!” the fella angrily replied. “You should have seen the letter I got from the launderette.”

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  11. What is temu? A trans emu..

    Was rod Hull death, murder.
    Did he not support emus transitioning, so was pushed from the ladder..

    Something for plod to look into,can’t be anymore fatuous than trawling through ancient tweets.

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  12. I don’t want bread products crossing over with household lighting.

    It’s confusing.
    The baguette torch or the oven bottom floodlight also have no sway over me.

    I don’t even approve of croissants.
    French shite that make a mess,
    It’s bread with eczema.

    If the Chinese have made it it’s going to cause a house fire or explode.

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  13. Somebody wise once compared the West’s addiction to cheap Chinese crap as their revenge for the Opium Wars.

    I wouldn’t know, I don’t buy any of the shite and my opium is always top-notch.

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    • Quite right Mickey luv.

      I too also try not to give the fiendish little yellow monkeys my hard earned.

      They can also stick their minging food up their squinting little balloon knots too.

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  14. Not sure I’d trust a Chinese croissant. Who knows what it might contain?

    My suspicions about Chinese food were alerted once when I was finishing a number 47 (chicken chow mein and prawn crackers, since you ask).

    Nothing wrong with the dish, but I did wonder about that little metal disc at the bottom of the carton with ‘Tiddles’ engraved on it.

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