It was about 18 months ago.
I was away on business and staying in a hotel.
I hadn’t had that much to drink the night before but I kept having to get up for a piss.
I must have got up a dozen times.
I was pissing for Spain.
Something wasn’t right.
When I got home I went to the chemist and she gave me a simple blood test.
She said that I had diabetes and made me an appointment with my doctor.
She told me that all of that pissing was my body trying to get rid of the sugar.
My doctor made arrangements for a full set of tests and it was confirmed.
The Artful Cunter is damaged goods.
I was given a prescription for three different types of pills and a diet sheet to follow.
I asked how long I needed to take the pills for and she told me the rest of your life.
She cheerfully added, ‘so not too long’.
That’s when things changed for the worse in the Cunter household.
The wife insists that I stick to the fucking diet sheet and everything on it is fucking horrible.
If you are ever tempted, DO NOT eat brown rice.
It tastes like I imagine cat litter does.
Any chocolates or sweets in Casa Cunter are hidden away.
Chips and other fried foods are off limits.
The wife tells me that Queen Elizabeth I died of diabetes.
The fucking woman was 67 in a time when you died of old age in your 20’s.
When we go out to eat it’s a case of, “You’re not eating that!”
If I ignore her then I get accusing looks all night.
“You’re not going to have another beer are you? Don’t you think that you have had enough?”.
Well obviously fucking not because I have just ordered another one.
I used to be able to go away on business and not hear from Mrs Cunter for days.
But now she is on the phone 3 times a day.
Not asking about the hotel, city or work.
She wants to know what I have been eating.
Bless her.
She means well but I do wish that she would shut the fuck up.
Diabetes is a cunt.
Nominated by The Artful Cunter.
Dump the wife and die happy
6
Its a tricky situation. You can’t fuck yourself. Only up.
4
“You can’t fuck yourself.”
Well you can always fuck your fist Sammy. Preferable to a few of the women out there as well.
4
A rather chubby colleague who has moderate diabetes asked me why I’m so slim at the age of 52.
Aside from exercise, I told him (which he wouldn’t do anyway), just eat once a day, 1800-2000 calories over the space of two hours, 6-8pm.
Even though he couldn’t cut out lunch, he only had a small lunch, no brekky and has already lost a stone in 6 weeks and his diabetes is miles better.
One meal a day will reverse diabetes, no question. And stop the inflammation that is the cause of so many health problems.
This short video is very informative:
https://youtu.be/M7RuGvMJndg?si=w8Yok4sMo95qmSb-
10
Calorie counting,,?
You bleeding Nancy Thomas.
I say stare diabetes square in the eye.
Add a cadburys creme egg to every meal.
One at breakfast
One at brunch
One at dinner
One at tea
One at supper.
Don’t listen to Cuntengines Karen carpenter propaganda Artie.
You’ll end up the Spanish Victoria Beckham.
11
Can’t face ’em any more Mis. I think of the advert and it makes me shudder.
8
My mate – he’s 83 now, won’t go to the docs because he says once he does he’ll go for all sorts of test and end up taking as many pills as me.
He doesn’t want to know if he’s got diabetes, herpes or a Covid – he says fuck em all anyway.
0
@tce….I’m starving listening to the doc 😩…no more elevenses then 😋
3
It could/should reverse by restricting calories but depends on personal fat threshold (basically whether the internal filters are blocked) as cutting back can burn the fat stores and allow better functionality of beta cells. I was always trim, beta cells weren’t functioning so well despite diet and exercise, frustratingly. Its not always reversible but definitely worth trying, each diagnosis on its own merits and all that
4
Isn’t coercive control illegal in Spain?
It is here.
7
I ignored trying to get the information, due to the yanks wanting to offer them biscuits, but I get the gist. I’ve been one the verge of diabetes for awhile, cutting out all that causes it. My surgery put me in touch with the organisation Oviva, who try and help you, but I thinks its my age that’s preventing me from eventually getting it. You have to eat and drink to live and it will get us in the end, even though how hard we try to prevent it.
5
AC, which type diabetes do you have? I am assuming it’s type two. Thomas has made an excellent suggestion with the one meal a day scheme. Give it a whirl. ATB
7
Type 2.
I am not overweight.
I have cut out all red meat and I usually have fish.
It’s amazing how much better I feel the day after eating mackerel….. Truly!
Other fish doesn’t seem to have the same effect.
I will not give up beer, wine or fags.
Life isn’t worth living without those things.
11
Do you have a history of diabetes in the family? My mother and two sisters have had it, me as well. I’ve had it for over twenty years, just be selective/ careful in what you eat.
3
I have no idea CuntyMort.
I never knew my family.
People who don’t know about diabetes often think that it’s just a case of cutting down on sugar that gets you better.
I was the same, but it’s a proper disease and one that can’t be cured, only controlled.
Not being a fat cunt I have no idea how I got it.
3
Definitely snap there, makes very little sense to me, genetic lottery they say. Getting the Hba1c under control can be a quarterly joy. It’s bizarre as I have friends who are akin to land whales who never exercise and have treated their bodies like dustbins since the 90’s, with no sign of diabetes.
5
I also have my own dieting methods by not eating for long periods. At least it keeps the weight down, which Oviva seem to be obsessed with. I do my best, but because I live alone and the rheumatoid arthritis having fucked up my hands, I can’t make the meals to prevent it and have to buy the best ready meals to try and keep the diabetes at bay.
7
You have my sympathy Sammy. I have arthritis – the curse of living a ;ong life in this poxy country, and the damper it gets, the worse it gets. I wish I could take a rubber boat over to Australia, and be treated with the same kindness and courtesy we do with rubber boat Joe Ronces!
Where diabetes is concerned, I recently had a FBC which showed that my blood sugar reading was 46 when it should be 41. I sometimes pee a bit more than usual, and I sometimes feel tired and thirsty, so I suspect it might be the foreplay to Type 2 Diabetes, which is less dangerous than Type 1 and can be “controlled” by a pill, so I am told. I have already given up smoking and drinking, though if camp Nurse Nancy Streeting keeps going on about how much he wants to stop people smoking, I might well take up Capstan Full Strength (Untipped) – if they are still allowed to make them by the Fuehrer, just to spite the old poof.
8
Well said W. C. Boggs. I’ve also cut down on coffee which makes me piss a lot, but could also due to drinking a lot of water.
6
Cause once I catch ya, and the pissing starts
A team of wild horses couldn’t tear us apart
Having diabetes sucks a large one.
5
It’s a real shame that Holstein Diät Pils, the 6.5 A.B.V. version is not around any more. All the sugar tuned to alcohol. Many other mainly German beer companies brewed their own version. Proper, strong great tasting drinks suitable for diabetics.
8
Brown rice☹️
Jesus.
I’d rather lick piss off a nettle than eat that shite.
9
Probably mouse droppings Mis.
6
Diabetes?
Wasn’t he a Greek philosopher or something?
9
Conservative party just said goodbye to my vote.
10
Behind the times my friend.
I voted Reform at the GE – NOT going back to a Tory party that is not ‘conservative’ any more. Might as well be Glib-dems.
0
News just in****
Kemi Badenough wins the Tory leadership race.
Fuck me.
Broadmoor beauty contestants😂
Vote Reform.
13
Black woman PM?
No thanks
9
The Tories now have had four women leaders and two ethnic minorities and Labour all hideously white men, but one android.
10
I am just waiting for Kweer to come out as a tranny, pre-transitioning. I think frankly it is a canny move – Jenrick quite honestly is in the Kweer mould (and they don’t come much mouldier than Kweer) – he doesn’t seem to stand for anything much, and shifts his position
I think Ms. Badenoch is the candidate they feared most – they could call RJ all the names under the sun, but how will they cope with a black leader without seeming racist and sexist. The left wing motherfuckers will be most discomfited.
I can just see Starmer sitting on his DFS sofa with whomever he shares his gome with (Lord Alli>0 and saying – as Simon did in the IN-Betweeners film – “I think i’ve shit myself”
8
Great result.
Starmer & Co will be shitting themselves.
9
She’ll be a pubic servant 😁
4
Dear me I knew they were Jupiter sized Cunts but talk about “doubling down”..
Thoroughly splendid result,another giant turd on the midden.
7
In fairness to Kemi she doesn’t know she’s black.
Looks great in her Klan robes.
10
Diabetes is a cunt indeed. Someone close to me has just been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. If they can treat it chances are they will be a diabetic after treatment.
Even that would seem like a win.
Take care all, life is precious.
12
Diabetes sounds like a right cunt and a half.
Mind you the same could be said of any disease I suppose. Given all the ailments that assail us, I’m surprised that anybody makes it even into their thirties.
The thought of being struck down by cancer is my own morbid fear after years of testing and screening as a possible prostate cancer victim. I thought it was tough when I had to go into hospital for surgery recently, but the guy in the bed opposite me had to get the head of his dick removed; fucking cunting Big C.
I’d have told them not to bother, and booked myself a one-way ticket to Switzerland. How do we survive such horrors?
13
I agree cancer is the most terrifying disease imaginable – not just the illness itself, but the constant tests and treatment, the fear of how long the “remission” will last. the worry that at any moment it might return. Although the humour of Janey Godley appealed to me not a whit, and I disagree with almost everything she said, those pictures in the online newspapers are truly appalling – it is like a living death. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody – not even Kweer or Rachel From Accounts, or the ghastly Blair.
8
She’ll do fit four years, then get a white hetro male back in charge…!
I still won’t vote for the cunts.
DEFUND THE BBC, VOTE REFORM, LEAVE THE ECHR, DEPORT ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. END OVERSEAS AID…!
19
You won’t get any arguments from me ZM
12
@zm….hang on I’ll get another pen.. this one has run out making that list so much loooooonger 👏
8
Spot on
1
I’ve had type 2 for about 12 years. I went up to 5 tablets a day but I’m now on one. I eat what I want, drink what I want and fuck it. My blood glucose may be a bit high but it’s stable, that’ll do.
11
I’m on a weekly injection of mounjaro it’s brought my average sugar levels down to 6.8
0
My missus is type 1, Artful – just got out of hospital after a particularly nasty DKA episode that almost killed her. Luckily she’s on the mend now, but it’s a horrible disease that really needs more research into a proper cure. The issues getting insulin is another fucking issue that needs addressing.
Diabetes is most definitely a cunt.
5
I’ve got Type 2. I was diagnosed during the first lockdown. Among others I was summoned for a blood test as I’d previously had two heart attacks and the NHS in their wisdom decided that I was at high risk of complications if I got Covid.
Now I bet you’re all out there thinking “Serves the cunt right for stuffing himself with all the wrong shit for too long” I’d of thought that too but unfortunately it’s hereditary. This rare but true. I haven’t led a blameless life but my mother’s side of the family has history of it going way back. Apparently our livers are faulty and the heart and diabetes problems are the result.
Anyway, it is a bit of a cunt but my first heart attack was when I was 44 and the next one was at 47. I’m 60 now and still going strong(ish). I’ve lost count of the fucking tablets I have to take every day but I still eat most things I like ( I will not eat brown bread brown rice… I’d rather fucking die) and I do drink moderately. I’m checked regularly on the NHS and they’re quite happy.
Anyway cunters, if you do get diabetes, don’t despair, with a bit of care it’s not the end of the world.
2
Obviously type 1 is more of a cunt
2
Do NOT eat Brown of ANYTHING is my motto!
0
Since I retired to a Country where they have a PROPER Health Service, I have my cardiologist telling me we must keep an eye on your Type 2 diabetes – which i never knew I had, and STILL have not suffered any symptons from it!
I keep taking the pills which I assume helps. But the rest of my life stays the same.
Now it is only the wife-cunt who nags me everytime I feel like a beer (or G&T) Nagging goes on for hours.
I remind her I’m 77 now so not a lot can happen in my last few years. I’m going to get the best I can out of them.
0