I’m not yet retired, but I can see it on the horizon. As such, I’ve started watching YT videos about how and when to transition from working full time to being a cunt of leisure full time. Some videos encourage you to retire as soon as possible, while others tell you to never, ever retire. What to do?
Many of the videos touch upon what having a full time job provides. Income obviously, but also work related benefits, a purpose, a life structure and to a degree, some (work related) social interaction. By definition, not having a full time job means not having those things:
- No earned income, so you’d better have enough saved. How much is enough?
- No benefits, so you at least better get your health insurance someplace else. Is the Yank system of Medicare and Medicaid any good or are they as shit as the NHS? What are they? What do they provide? How do they work? Fuck knows!
- No purpose in life. Your career skills, knowledge and experience no longer have direction and meaning. Oh dear.
- No life structure around being employed. It’s the end of the TGIF feeling, cramming everything into a Saturday so you have at least one day to relax. But Sundays always feel different (worse) because you’re back to work the next day. When you’re retired, that sense of urgency and some days having a certain feel is over. Every day must feel exactly the same. Do they?
- I work remotely so have never met any of the people I currently work with. One or two are OK, but the rest can all fuck off. No great loss if I’m honest.
To combat this sense of being cast adrift, some videos make some suggestions for transitioning into retirement.
Part-time work:
Corporate America is a vicious, back stabbing, hypocritical, hostile, stressful and toxic place. I’m really looking forward to not having to deal with that anymore. So I don’t think this is an option for me.
Hobbies:
My main hobby is collecting music. I don’t need more time to do that. I like playing video games too. Not sure that’s a hobby. The enjoyment of doing anything though is in part determined by its finite duration. If you could do whatever you wanted for as long as you wanted, would it be as enjoyable and fulfilling? I could start a new hobby of course, but I’m not that handy. I really only have two hand skills. After working in IT for 30+ years, one of those skills is obviously typing. Not sure the other ‘skill’ counts as a hobby and it certainly isn’t new. 😂
Volunteering:
Just fuck right off. I’m not helping anyone for free. That’s just not going to happen. Admittedly, I do have a head full of skills, knowledge and experience, but I absolutely refuse on principle to use any of it to help anyone who’s not paying me.
Cultivating friendships:
Some videos suggest cultivating friendships now which will last into retirement and provide social outlets once retired. Trouble is, I don’t like most people and actively avoid being in the company of others. Being around other humans invariably leads to small talk which I perceive as an interrogation without purpose. I don’t want to be questioned about what I do (did), where I live, where I go on holiday or what my kids do (I don’t have any – thank fuck). Equally, I’m not interested in other people’s interests or life story. I just don’t care. Leave me the fuck alone!
Travel:
Travel seems to be popular with retirees. The catch here is, Mrs. Yank is several years my junior so she’ll be working full time and earning a wedge for quite a while before she retires. Good. She also works from home so will be under my fucking feet 24×7 when I have fuck all else to do. Bad. So me getting out of the house might extend her life expectancy. Seems a little selfish though to raid the retirement fund for my own first class flights, 5 star hotels, crack cocaine and high class hookers, but we all have to make sacrifices somewhere. 😂
So there you have it. Keep working and piss more of your healthy years up the wall for an employer who doesn’t give a shit or quit the rat race and have nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to enjoy it with?
Retirement is (potentially) a cunt. What say you?
Nominated by : Imitation Yank
I can’t bloody wait to retire. It’ll be ace. Painting, writing, riding old motorbikes, growing food.
And of course, tending to the requirements of the guests in my love dungeon before their miserable demise.
Only 13 years left to go.
I’ll probably die of a drug overdose before that, though.
Are other cunters in their 50’s looking forward to retirement?
Or does the grave loom, open and cold, before them?
17
Oh, and great cunting, by the way, IY.
13
Cheers Thomas. I
t’s all a bit of a worry.
9
I bet your co workers can’t wait for you to retire either.
11
At least my co-workers will notice when I’m gone.
12
I’m about the same age and cannot wait to retire to warmer climes, where I shall grow grapes for wine, food crops and of course my favourite greenery.
If the lockdown bullshit taught me anything, it was trust no one. Particularly the government.
Therefore, if I have solar heated water, solar panels and a home battery, with enough land (preferably spring fed) to sustain myself and Mrs Odin, everyone and everything else can just fuck off as it will be surplus to requirements.
15
I was made redundant at 53 and decided to work part time for myself.
Not sure if it will ok but quite frankly I’m past caring about such blather and I certainly don’t want to pay income tax or national insurance from a proper job to fund the shithouse policies of a bunch of cunts in London Manchester and any other place they have their hand out nor will I pay toward looking after foreign looters or climate action in Darkest Africunt.
Plus I’ve gone somewhat feral and am likely unemployable now.
It’s a great nomination by the way Mr IY.
24
Thanks Terry.
My current place is so badly managed and operate in a market which appears permanently under strain. Consequently, each quarter they layoff more and more people. I’d hate for this job to be my last because it’s so shit and I can do so much more. That said, I might get canned before I can jump ship. We’ll see.
I like what I do for a living. I just don’t like who I do it for, but to be fair, that ain’t new. Most companies I’ve worked for have been cunty to various degrees.
6
Well I hope it all pans out rather nicely for you.
As the great Charles Bronson said in the wonderful Hard Times “I don’t look further than the next bend in the road”..
I’m having red wine now afore it’s banned.
Good evening/ early afternoon sir.
9
waiting on a quote, if it is what i think it will be will be pulling the pin in april at 57 years old
9
Have a hobby. And remember, what a man does in the privacy of his own basement is entirely his business.
😶
24
Get a dog.
Plenty of fresh air and exercise.
15
Like Fenton, you mean?
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D3GRSbr0EYYU&ved=2ahUKEwjyq4vdt_yIAxVe_7sIHVISDAUQwqsBegQIEBAE&sqi=2&usg=AOvVaw0KgT-a3Y6cQvwpGvMbX_Ua
5
Having a pet to care for is a consideration. But there’s potential complications. I’d hate to own a loving pet and then pass away before they do and leave them behind wondering what happened and who’ll look after them. It seems cruel.
Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but I do worry about that.
10
Get a hamster they only live a couple of years.
8
I won’t ever retire.
Wouldn’t suit me anyway.
I plan to die working.
And complaining.
I don’t like holidays
Don’t like sitting in the sun or beaches
Don’t want to meet new people
Or go new places
My hobbies are moaning, muttering, and swearing.
Nice big heart attack for me thanks, on M56 straight into a incoming minibus full of Pakistanis.
See you in Valhalla
31
Seems like a great plan !
11
I’ll be waiting with open arms.
10
Somewhat related to the previous nomination, It is highly unlikely I will see retirement through my love of ales and whisky and er, Buckfast.
Have no pension to speak of besides a large stock of morphine.
Of course, I may surprise myself and make it to retirement age, in which case, I’m in the first plane to Thailand and never looking back.
11
Christ, poor IY.
Retired surrounded by elderly yanks!
Like the last Jap on iwo Jima.
Hey Buddy! Have a nice day!
” Go fuck yourself”
11
Yep MNC – this place is full of Yanks.
Just had a week’s visit from my sister and niece. Staying with us they go to see more of what America is really like. As opposed to what it’s like to vacation here, which really isn’t the same thing at all. They both loved it. The space. The choice. The freedoms. The eating out. The everything-is-open almost all the time. The (relative) peace and quiet. Even the weather cooperated by being unseasonably warm/hot. That said, they wouldn’t like it in December through March because it’s minus a billion with 10 feet of fucking snow everywhere.
However, my point is it really hit them why I continue to live in America. As shitty as things can be here, it’s not as bad of how things are in Blighty if the news can be believed.
If the UK can be returned to the British, maybe I’ll return and collect my UK state pension. I paid in before I emigrated and now I want it back! Cha-ching (as if).
15
Retired nine years now fucking great, no risk assessments, no being told how to do my job, no fucking unions, no ppe, no woke shit, no twelve hour fucking shifts and last but not least no fucking heating allowance.
16
I don’t agree with a heating allowance being taken away from the old folk when it had previously been something they were entitled to. Especially when the government spunk millions per day on pandering to criminals entering the country illegally.
That said, how cold does it get really? In Minnesota, it can drop to -30 or more during the winter months. Now that’s fucking cold. Unless things have changed, the UK has a mental breakdown if it reaches 0 and the sky falls in if it actually goes below that by a degree or two.
That said, I’m not 70 so don’t know what 0 degrees feels like. Maybe it’s truly awful and life threatening.
12
“In Minnesota, it can drop to -30 or more during the winter months. Now that’s fucking cold. ”
that’s why those nice Southern Gentlemen invented bourbon whisky.
9
Maintenance electrician..?
3
I retired aged 55.
Loads more time to do what I want to do.
Never missed work for one second.
You are a long time dead…!
30
Me too, Zee.
I could read the writing on the wall. I got a decent lump sum, which allowed me to pay off the mortgage, car loan and credit cards, with enough left for a decent ISA and enough of a pension to pay the bills and eat.
I also got to provide childcare for Elder. The Lass is a delight, which shows what can happen when an interested adult is involved in the upbringing of a child.
I also didn’t pay tax for twelve years, very satisfying. I do now I’m getting State Pension, which makes me fucking furious, but all in all, I’m so, so glad I retired early.
19
My Dad is 80 next month and will officially have to retire as he is no longer insurable to work on site.
He does spend a lot of time on cruises with his two lady friends and has done four in the last 12 months.
He seems very happy.
14
Never heard that one before Odin. As far as I am aware there is no legal upper age limit, providing your Dad is still fit and healthy.
My own FIL still works on sites at 80, but his health isn’t too great now. He tells me he is going to reduce his hours significantly.
8
He officially retired at 67 as that was the age the major contractor he worked dictated that you had to retire.
They figured out that they had nobody with his skill set, so kept him on until he was 70. Then their insurers would no longer cover him.
He has been working for the last ten years for a subcontractor, but now their insurers can no longer cover him.
I think it is all down to the company insurers.
10
What a bunch of ageist shits!
11
I wonder if IY is a golfer?
Golf retirement communities are a big deal in the U.S, retire to Florida and play golf all day with the cast of the Walking Dead.
“The ball has gone in the lake again, the one with the massive alligator in it. Send in that limey whippersnapper to get it”.
13
Greetings LL.
No, I’m not a golfer and have no plans to start. I appreciate it takes a degree of skill to get a little ball in a little hole 500 yards away in 3 or 4 strokes. But it’s not for me.
When your body wears out, sporting choices do get more limited. Getting old is such a cunt.
9
It’s better than the alternative though IY.
4
I’m retired and don’t miss anything that I can think of regarding working for a living….in fact the more I’ve thought of what I did the more I see myself as a right mug…working all sorts of shifts, working with boring people,💩 bosses who knew precisely 💩all, travelling in all sorts of ⛈️🌨️☔whilst the benefits mob slept soundly counting their giro’s, paying taxes so that our new gigantic wave of imported trash can be ‘welcomed’ …nope stick work I’ve done with it and now I’m spending what I’ve got under the 🛏️ and I’m intending enjoying every last 🪙 🖕
18
Back in the ‘good old days,’ the old age pension was paid weekly, so you lived a week, & then you got paid. (Always a payment in arrears) Now like everything else you need to live a month to earn your entitlement. You will work an extra year, or more, depending on your age, & pay National Insurance, until your official retirement date. Then, & only then will you also be able to ask for a bus pass.
8
According to press reports old Kweer and Helmet Head is thinking of taking away the bus passes Lord S.
I want to live long enough to see that bunch of arselicking cunts and Commies thrown out never to be in power again.
I saw the son of Charlie Falkener on TV early this morning, as condescending as you like – only got into Parliament in July and so fucking pompous because he has been made a Foreign Office minister. Probably a poofter,.
11
Here is the grovelling little schmuck :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8dQaK-qdUo&lc=UgwkVaUUeZCTXSpkVix4AaABAg.A9HtF-8tWLtA9IQfGB52Ru
8
I’ve just had my renewed bus pass, WC.
I was worried, as my previous one expired on the 24th of last month, and according to the website should have been automatically renewed four weeks earlier.
The new one is valid for five years, the old one only three, so I’m not too convinced that taking travel passes away is the next move in the war against pensioners.
I hope not, I spend the winter months travelling on warm buses from Meadowhall to Crystal Peaks in order to save on heating my house.
10
@lord…when I phoned up regarding my ‘free’ bus pass, the woman told me ‘no problem I’ll sort it’ proceeded to knock me sideways when she said ‘if you’d have been on benefits you wouldn’t have needed to phone up you would have got it automatically’ …cue 🤬 from me, and a ‘yes it’s not really on is it’ from the woman 😩
7
Lord Scunthorpe@. You have the option of getting your State Pension weekly or monthly. They just don’t make it clear.
I get mine weekly because I’m an awkward cunt.
Just give them a bell.
Good evening.
9
I will retire when either I don’t fancy working any more or if I can’t work.
With no mortgage and no kid to pay for then the money that I earn is all mine.
As I have no intention of leaving anything to anyone except the delightful Mrs Cunter I enjoy spending as much as I want on myself.
There is no point in filling up my bank account for some other cunt.
Golf is always a good thing to consider for retirement.
It gets you out of the house and keeps you active.
The problem is that it’s fucking difficult to learn to play to even a poor standard if you are old.
I have been playing all my life and still get out on the many beautiful courses that we have as often as I want.
I don’t know if a dog is a good option.
Yes it gives you a purpose and gets you out, but the worry is who will look after your friend if you are not around.
Perhaps consider getting an older dog from a rescue centre.
An allotment is not an option for me.
I fucking hate digging holes and I can drive to any farm and buy whatever I want for next to nothing anyway.
People used to dream about retiring to the country.
To a cottage with roses around the door.
Fuck that for a game of soldiers.
You need a local store, preferably not owned by a Pákí. A doctor’s surgery nearby, not full of illegals.
A few pubs and restaurants and of course a knocking shop.
Life can be good, but I wouldn’t like to have to plan out my savings not knowing how long that I might have left.
13
It’s the savings thing that really bothers me too, AC.
I worry about running out of money. What if I live too long and out last the money I saved? The not knowing is horrible, but the alternative would be worse I suppose….knowing exactly when you’re going to die.
I have really warmed to the idea of retiring earlier rather than later. It’s the health argument that convinced me. Carrying on working and using up more of your fit and healthy years does seem rather stupid if, upon retirement, you can’t enjoy it because you’re bed bound or have some other ailment which ruins your quality of life.
I need to research how people don’t end up panicking about this stuff.
6
I jacked in after convid, my business was trashed. I’ve always been self employed, I really couldn’t be arsed to try and build it again at 55, lucky to not owe anything to anyone and have a decent bank balance. I LOVE Mondays now don’t get up until I want brilliant.
11
I am not sure about the health thing IY.
I am healthy and fit, despite the Benson and Hedges and the booze.
The worst I have felt in recent years was during the lock down.
Doing fuck all is not good for you and although people have the best intentions about keeping active when they retire, there is no doubt that you will end up doing less when you haven’t got any routine.
I don’t think that anyone can give you the answer about how much money you might need in order not to be skint if you live too long.
It’s a gamble.
If we knew we would spend all of our money and run up as much debt as possible just before we cark it.
5
Good for you, Chris. I do hope it’s all working out for you.
Artful…yeah, I read a quote somewhere that said the best thing is writing your last cheque knowing it’ll bounce.
You’re right about knowing though. If we did know when we’d die, imagine the financial carnage we’d all inflict. I’d never thought of it that way. Interesting.
5
IY it’s been a shite year lost my mum to a clot “she wouldn’t be told” and my 56 year old cousin, but retirement has been good for me and the Mrs, I have always been of the Steve McQueen frame of mind “ I answer to nobody and I live for myself”. Apart from the taxman who has ripped us a new arse hole in IHT and CGT but a bit left lol. Do it you won’t regret.
5
More time to bitch and moan on ISAC and there is plenty to fucking moan about now Labour have arrived.
Saturday, almost a 1000 cunts crossed the channel and no casualties, Hitler must be spinning in his grave.
In better news (well almost) Sue Gray bites the dust in No10 but has been given a new role ‘envoy to the regions and nations’ whatever the fuck that is.
Arse!
17
Things that traditionally men who retire do are
allotments
Crown green bowling
Spying on the neighbours
Interfering
And getting in the fuckin way in supermarkets.
I’ve got a allotment already, but been fancying crown green bowling for ages.
Liked it since I was a kid.
No point waiting till I’m a doddering old fuck is there?
Anyone here play?
And if so, what’s the best way to start up?
8
Crown Green bowls is played by old cunts with bandy legs who smoke pipes.
A flat cap with a checkered design is optional.
As far as I know there is no piss up in the local pub after a game.
I have never heard a bowler through fucks into his opponent if he loses.
It’s all a bit civilised.
Perhaps not for you MNC.
11
Just looks calming and very English Artie?
Think some do have a bar!
Used to watch it as a little boy with my grandad in the park,
Seems as you say … civilised.
Probably all vote not to allow me in anyway.
I can’t disguise the fact I’m basically a gyppo without a caravan.
My rigger boots leaving size 13 tracks all over the green,
Fuck em🙁
13
Stick to growing giant vegetables at the allotment Miserable and getting a rosette stuck on your engorged marrows.
12
LL you know what Gunnera is right?
Like a giant prehistoric looking plant that you can shelter under the leaves they’re that big?
Well I’ve got seeds 😁
Then I read it’s not legal to plant it in the ground?!
6
Grow Japanese knot weed.
In neighbouring gardens at least a few hundred yards from your own.
9
Just looked at it Mis, its like something from Jurassic Park. It says the stalks of some species are edible but maybe others are poisonous or used for other recreational activities – ask Cunt Engine or Odin. You can also make beer with it. You first JP!
6
Gunnera ale?
Not for me, LL.
Not a fan of beer, or hop related beverages.
5
MNC@ When me, The Hound and Ethel go to Tavistock, we like to park ourselves on a bench near the little canal with some fish and chips and a can of pop.
On the other side of the water is the Sir Francis Drake Bowling Club.
Munching our grub and watching the bowls is all really rather lovely.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sir_Francis_Drake_Bowling_Club_-_geograph.org.uk_-_4979092.jpg
3
Retirement for me is Ace, packed in work 10 years ago. Two pensions teachers and British coal superannuation Mrs E/Cunt has a part time job to keep me in golf balls and gun cartridges fuck work.
Don’t miss it at all. One negative thing is that I don’t sleep as long. Put that down to not working.
17
I am long retired and I have to say I am grateful because a lot of the cunts who are working today are insufferable right-on bores – no “Carry On” style humour at work – all po-faced alternative comedy fans.No staring at Rita’s lovely big knockers in the office – more likely some Kim Leadbetter dyke in a boiler suit. Until a year or so ago I spent much of my days in the shed – these days with the arthritis worse, I tend to stay indoors compiling my lists of Desert Island Discs – most of the eight change each day, thinking what one book I would want and what luxury – they also change, then I realise that Roy Plomley is dead and it’ some daft tart off of Wireless 6, who has no interest in elderly male guests and just want poofters or wimminz off of TV Light Entertainment shows.
The big problem I find is that when I start reading I dose off for an hour.
Time goes too quickly, just as much in retirement as it does in work. To be honet with you, I have suffered depression and my GP has suggested voluntary work. My advice: don’t bother – the young fools who supply it (usually they are bent of course) are holier than thou and treat you as if they were doing you a favour – keeping you out of trouble. After being asked some impertinent questions and wanting sight of documents to prove who I was, I told him where he could stuff his “exciting opportunities”. the only time he seemed interested was when I told him I had spent my youngest years in the Royal Navy. Hello sailor!
My advice is just do what makes you happy – whether that is bottling fruit, smoking naughty African Woodbines, watching Pornhub, or watching the umpteenth repeat of Flog It.
If you carry on working you will just be some old cunt working a few hours a week at B & Q helping Tristram and Victoria, two entitled cunts who have just “bought a property” courtesy the bank of mum and dad (or Mater and Pater) to find the Country Cream Dulux or a new lavatory seat.
Enjoy retirement. Like the downfall of Kweer Charmer it is coming.
13
Thanks, W.C. I think your point about doing what makes you happy is steering in the right direction.
I do genuinely enjoy what I do for a living and after 35 or so years, I’m pretty good at it too. Suddenly not doing it or not needing to will feel strange I’m sure. Having a ‘thinking’ type job might be a curse in retirement as without that need to use brain power in retirement, my mental capacity might fall off a cliff. That’s a worry. I’m not doing fucking crosswords to keep my brain sharp. That can fuck right off.
7
Write a book … or write an e-book / online course in your subject and flog it online for a passive income? Or a blog etc?
1
That’s a thought, NC.
Writing is kind of my thing. Even if I say so myself, I write good technical documentation. I’d considered the book thing a while back when printed books were still a thing. In my line of work, it seemed any old illiterate muddled thinking cunt could get a technical book published and I knew I could do so much better. The arse fell out of that market a while ago now, but an online course might be something to consider. I’d want to make it funny though and take the piss out of stuff.
2
Retirement.
Just back from flying my paraglider..⛅
13
That’s the way ZM, as Dylan said; “Do not go gentle into that good night” etc. I gave a lift to a neighbour recently. When we arrived he asked me if I owned the car. I was a bit mystified and told him that I did. He responded that the way I drive he thought I’d fucking stolen it. Cheeky sod. He can walk next time.
What bike are you riding these days by the way? I fancy getting another bike. I’ve had a full ticket since 1969 so I can ride whatever I can afford.
4
CRF 1100 AFRICA TWIN ..
Next year’s trip is Normandy / Brittany tour
Plus…🍺 In the evening…🏍️
4
“Honda | CRF1100L Africa Twin | Adventure | Forged Through Toughness” https://www.honda.co.uk/motorcycles/range/adventure/crf1100l-africa-twin/overview.html
3
Not me .!
But a site I fly..
https://youtu.be/iKU-c6Ng75w?si=oPH_3EFkzI9lCGBt
4
The thought of whiling away my latter years surrounded by the fucking useless cunts where I am now fills me with dread. “Let’s have a nice cup of tea”, no, fuck right off and have a horrid one you mumbling Werther sucking twat.
Why do these fuckwits always speak with a whistle too ?
I’m thinking, hot country, small villa with a courtyard to grow veg in near a lake or river, no other cunt for at least 500 yards, Portugal perhaps.
I’m about to enter my 7th decade of this ever declining shitshow and want as little to do with officialdom, general public mouth breathers and the cunting grey misery as possible.
13
Forget the lake Pooter.
You will get bitten to fuckery by mosquitos.
Get somewhere very close to the sea.
The little fuckers don’t like salt water.
10
Are they black?
7
Good point Artie but isn’t that where the other retirees congregate, imagine the small talk I’d be confronted with ? Still, Portugal does have a decent sized coastline.
3
You will probably be glad of a few ex pat retirees around you.
Not too many obviously, as most are cunts.
The problem is the Portuguese language.
I speak Spanish and I can’t understand what the fucking Portuguese are on about.
You may want to find people that you can understand even if you do hate them.
Their custard tarts are nice.
The cost of living and houses are expensive.
I would consider Extremadura, Spain.
Not to far from Portugal.
The language isn’t that difficult and it’s not really caught on with the Brits.
9
I’ve read a little about that region Art, yes, there’s appeal to it and yes, Portuguese sounds like some rustic Slav gobbledegook. I’d still make it understandable enough to inform the morons to fuck off and die though, even if it’s just through my usual monosyllabic grunts and a tree branch.
2
Great nom IY. It got me thinking about pro athletes when they retire. They will have spent their entire lives since early childhood training and striving to be the best they can possibly be in their field and then at a relatively young age, mostly mid-30’s to 40 depending on the sport, everything they knew is no more.
I know some people will say enjoy the money or fame etc but I’m guessing nothing can replicate the adulation of fans and the sheer adrenaline of competitive sports to be replaced in retirement as a League 2 football manager at a struggling club or worse, a pundit on MOTD and having to work with that cunt Lineker.
11
It doesn’t seem to bother Tom Daley, LL. Too busy getting bummed into the middle of next week, and knitting when the “husband” is away working.
10
That’s a great point, LL and one I’ve thought about myself. I’m sure – for example – The Rolling Stones are still going because they’re addicted to the life style and playing shows. It must be quite something to walk out on stage and 1000s of fans go mental. I’d love to know what that feels like. Maybe in the next life.
I think it might be harder for sports folks. Your body tells you when you can’t compete at the highest level anymore, so it’s not really a choice. Some ex-pros really pile on the pounds too when they’re not training and following a strict diet. That must be hard too.
I think most of us would love to be super wealthy and not worry about money. But I think there’s such a thing as too much money. At that point, the value/price of everything becomes meaningless. For example, I have always dreamed of owning an Aston Martin car. If I had Elon Musk levels of cash, I could walk into an Aston dealership and not only pick out the model I wanted, but buy their entire stock and even buy the entire company if I wanted. And Porsche and Lotus and Ferrari. If I could do that, would driving an Aston still feel special? I don’t think it would. It would just be another ‘thing’ I owned. A very nice thing, but still just a thing.
8
Indeed IY, I think its something that could be applied to anyone who is successful in their chosen career. Its quite sad and sometimes a little pathetic when someone retires and then makes a comeback because they are never what they once were and taints their legacy somewhat.
9
Money buys you stuff you don’t need so you spend more on more stuff you don’t need, in order to assuage your empty soul. Been there, done that.
5
Retirement’s the best thing that ever happened my entire working life.
Of course I got the inevitable ‘you’ll be bored out of your mind within a month’ from some cunt who thought that the office was the centre of his world as he tried to scramble up the greasy pole. My answer? ‘Well that may be so, but I’d rather be bored out of my mind at home than in this shithouse’.
And was I? Well what do you lot think? Between watching films and serials, walking and gardening, drinking, spending time with the family, reading the works of Austen, Trollope, Tolkien, Graves, Collins and co (not to mention a host of thrillers and whodunnits), looking at porn, fooling about with the wife, following the Villa, acting as an IsAC correspondent, caféing and lunching out, meeting friends, going on holiday and short breaks, and fooling about with wife, I don’t have any time for work.
Shut the door on it IY, and find your life.
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Never mind reading about trollops.
Get them nettles pulled up.
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Cheers Ron.
I have broached the subject of calling time on my working life at 62 with my financial advisor. It seems very doable (so’s she if I’m honest – but I digress). I am genuinely stuck for ideas about what the hell I’d do with myself. I can totally see myself being bored out of my mind within days. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Not sure.
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When I’m older and start to slow down a bit,
Probably still do a bit of Scrap metal, but would like to spend more time walking in the Peak District, bit of camping under the stars , fishing without a license (😁)
And maybe get some ferrets.
It’s a beautiful life and worth enjoying whatever way you want.
Don’t let anyone tell you what to do,
Tell them to get fucked.
Here’s one of my favourite little tunes,
https://youtu.be/a4UQJwd3awQ?si=B1tL5ZtmMmKMw7bW
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MNC@. That’s a natty song 👍
I’ve fished, with varying degrees of enthusiasm for over fifty years without a license LOL.
If you get some ferrets you’ll need to get a terrier too.
Get some ferrets !! 👍👍👍😃
How’s it going ?
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Evening Jack👍
Good cheers pal.
Getting a lot of work over Northwich and Sandbach way for some reason?
Chasing the pound note😉
Yeah fuck fishing licences!
And fuck paying to camp!
I’ve never paid.
I want to fish in a river or sleep in the woods or hills ,
Thats nobodies business but mine.
I’m a Englishman.
This is MY country.
I follow Natural law.
And enjoy natures bounty.
And give a false name.
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By the time I retire, the retirement age will be like 80.
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o/t but look at that cunts disguise it’s fucking ace!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g9ve47e92o
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Like Inspector Clouseaux!
They must have had terrible eyesight, if they didn’t spot that as a fake.
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It’s abusive husband Jay Blades without his goggles on!
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The pension/financial industry will insist that you can never save enough and the government don’t want you to ever stop working and paying into their Ponzi scheme, but fuck ‘em all and punch out as soon as you can afford to do so.
Work out what you need, versus what you want to get by and do it, although hopefully you’ve already worked that out!
I’m 60 and just packed in because I couldn’t see the point.
I also worked with a bunch of back stabbing, slimy cunts and what I did no longer had a purpose; it was all about ticking boxes and pandering to the latest delusional bollocks from the ‘management’ – also a bunch of complete cunts!
Given my lineage and lifestyle I reckon I’ve got about 20 years left and 10 of that when I’ll be able really go at and enjoy anything ‘physical’ so I’m fucked if I’m going to waste most of that time punching the clock.
Sure, there are those who will still be tripping the light fantastic and shagging like a rabbits into their dotage, but believe me it’s a minority!
Case in point I shared a pint with 3 kiddies I was at school with, infants through to secondary and amongst this group one has already had a heart attack and the other 2 were on meds. Permanently.
I’ve escaped so far, but it’s only a matter of time before something happens to fuck me up too.
As noted elsewhere you’ve got to find a purpose and that’s important, but it can be anything you like. And the social side?
Well, what can I say? I worked in a company of 5000 + and would have a had drink with about 6 of them of which 3 have recently retired…
You will need time to adjust, but it’s worth it! Indeed, for me the thought of having to be somewhere at a specific time and do something I don’t want to do and which is meaningless makes my blood run cold.
Do it!
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Thanks for that, Seasons.
The ‘purpose’ thing comes up again and again. I do need to think about that and work something out. You also make a great point about savings. Obviously have enough to pay bills and eat, but you’ll never have enough because of the unknowns. I need to remember that and stop being such a wuss worrying about things I can’t have the answers to. I mean, I could have a massive stroke this evening and be dead within a week. All the worry I’m having over this retirement thing would have been for nothing.
I was wondering if the cunter community would rally and give some useful and insightful feedback. They have – thank you all!
We’ve also had some great banter and laughs which is, after all, just as important.
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No problem IY.
One thing I’ll add is that retirement is highly personal and very different for each of us because obviously everyone’s circumstances and aspirations are unique.
However, once you get your head around the idea and have enough not to live in darkness & cold eating beans from a can then you’re on your way and you won’t look back…
Sure, no one wants to run out of money and that’s a concern, but a millionaire on his/her death bed doesn’t ask for another buck. It’s time that’s the most valuable and finite resource!
Good luck👍
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Remember, it’s not if you can afford to retire.
It’s, if you can afford not to…💀
Many and I’ve known a few didn’t make it.
Many more won’t ( government plan)
“UK state pension age will soon need to rise to 71, say experts | Retirement age | The Guardian” https://amp.theguardian.com/money/2024/feb/05/uk-state-pension-age-will-soon-need-to-rise-to-71-say-experts
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My greatest fear is having worked for as long and as hard as I have, get to retirement and never get to spend what I’ve saved. I’m sure this must be a fairly common source of anxiety.
It’s also true that the government want you to work so you can pay tax and as soon as you’re pension eligible, the same government want you to die so you can’t take out of the system. It is an awful absurdity. For many years I’d assumed the state pension will eventually become means tested. Some bureaucrat will decide because I’ve been too careful and saved wisely, I can fuck off and they’ll give my pension/social security to someone else who’s pissed their money up the wall all their life. You can see it coming.
Raising the retirement age and death duties are both highly immoral and unethical. It’s a sick world we live in.
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Great nom, Mr Yank.
When I was around 15, one of my uncles, who thought me a feckless layabout, asked what my ambition was in life. My answer: “to retire.” Unfortunately it took another 38 years before I was able to realise that much cherished ambition.
Being retired is Heaven on Earth, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. True, some people have jobs they love and enjoy, but they are the lucky few. For most people, jobs are simply a means of survival, since people cannot live without money.
By the time I reached 53 I had built up considerable savings and investments, more than enough to retire on. My missus continued to work for a further 10 years (she didn’t need to, but being self sufficient is very important to her).
We chose not to have kids, so there’s no one to mooch off us.
That said, still aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want.
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Very interesting, Mr. Baker.
It’s good to read of a success story like yours. Well done, mate!
One of my challenges – which is kind of my own fault – is my job isn’t just my job. It’s what I do and who I am. I am VERY into it and (not wishing to sound arrogant) work at a level which embarrasses the fuck out of the other pricks who work in the same area of IT as I do. They can but dream of working to my standards. I’m not the best there is, but what I do and how I do it is way more than just a job for me.
It does drive me nuts though because few others work to the same standard. In my world, good enough is NOT good enough. Trying to pursue excellence in work environments which simply don’t get it is VERY frustrating. I won’t miss trying to get these cunts to see what I see, but just stopping what I do professionally is a scary thought and one which I can’t rationalise just yet.
Do I want to stop dealing with the petty, amateurish clown show I see everyday? YES! I am honestly sick of it. What can I replace that with in retirement? I have no earthly idea.
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As long as you’re working on someone else’s terms you’re not doing yourself any favours. Have you considered getting out (with a few fucks thrown in gratis on the way) and doing occasional self employed commissions ? You’ll get a purpose, on your terms and a few bucks from time to time.
You’re a long time dead.
There’s no pockets in a shroud.
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I have considered that, Pooter and you make a decent point.
Things may have changed over the years, but way back when, there was a fundamental difference between the IT contracting market in the UK compared to the US. I ran a successful (one man band) consulting company in the UK for a few years. Made shit loads of money and had a blast doing it. I was able to secure contracts primarily based upon WHAT I knew.
A few years after I moved to the US I setup my own consulting firm again. It’s actually a lot easier to do in the US and doesn’t cost that much either. Anyway, securing contracts became a huge issue because the US market work around WHO you know, not WHAT you know. Self marketing, networking, schmoozing and constantly sucking up to people who might be helpful/useful to you now or in the future is how things work here. That’s just not me as I’m not a people person and will not subscribe to what is basically superficial manipulation. Consequently, my one-man-band operation never really flourished. Resurrecting it in retirement might not work either.
One way it might though is, if some company needs something doing and will pay some cunt $100/hr to do it, I could undercut them and do the same work for half that, just for fun since I wouldn’t need the money as such. That might be a great way to piss off Americans since they’ve had a great time pissing me off over the years.
Food for thought.
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I’m only a few years away from state pension age …67 for me and the wife. putting my sensible head on for a moment, there’s something all of us blessed with younger wives need to remember.
I have a old final salary scheme pension from my first employer which I have to take at 65. I havecgad a personal pension which I started near 25 years ago when I started a new career….I can draw that anytime from 55 onwards, but it is only when you get into your 60s it’s worth much. I’m there now…..and it’s still not worth much without the state pension and my final salary pension, so I am still working. Having, done some rough calculations when I get to 67 if it were just me, then I could probably retire….but, and heres the rub. my wife is 8 years younger than me, which means after I retire at 67 we will have yo wait a further 8 years before my wife can draw her state pension so we can both afford yo fo fuck all.
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It’s an interesting dynamic, Chuff.
If Mrs. Yank retires at the same age as I’m thinking of retiring, she’ll be working for another 8 years after I’ve retired. I could be dead by the time she retires, so there seems little point sitting on my arse doing sod all waiting to enjoy retirement with her.
That said, almost all the retirement pot is my money anyway so I should be able to spend it and enjoy while she’s still working. Crack ‘n’ hoes.
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This is a spiffing nom. It asks questions that I’m sure many here are interested in.
Unfortunately, there is no ‘ one size fits all ‘ answer.
One of the biggest things that haunts people is ‘ Will I have enough money ? ‘ To which the answer is, no one knows for sure. Solution ? Spend a bit less than you have coming in and hopefully everything should be ok.
I’m a recent OAP but have been practising for years. We bought a motorhome in our forties as I refused to put our then recently acquired Hound ( RIP ) in kennels. Best thing we ever did, even though the purchase ate up most of our cash. As Boggs has commented, ” Do what makes you happy “……Outstanding comment Boggs, outstanding. Get you a case of beer for that one :0)
I still do some work, but have let a large number of my customers go. I enjoy what I do and will probably keep doing a bit for years to come. If I worked for someone else I’d probably jack straight away.
Ethel hasn’t worked for about seven or eight years, since having a new hip. She’s a kept woman who doesn’t claim or want a bean in benefits, she has her health and mobility and that’s better than a lottery win. She’s years from retirement and couldn’t care less.
Hehehe….. that’s the spirit !
Whatever you’re doing in later life, if you’re not enjoying it, then something is very wrong, and if you wait until you’re wealthy enough to start enjoying yourself you’ll probably die a rich man, to the delight of your heirs.
You’re a long time dead.
Evening all.
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Evening Jack, glad to hear you and Ethel are well and becoming a ‘face’ on the national tearoom circuit.
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Loved this. Thank you, Jack.
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Another day, another cream tea 👍
Oh the humanity !! 😃
All right LL ?
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Some very interesting comments. 👍
Nowt much to add really.
In theory I can afford to retire in February.
Will then be eligible for full state pension.
Sprog have long flown the coop, leading successful lives of their own.
I’ll probably continue grafting for the foreseeable though.
Being a freelancer am lucky to be able to pick and choose my jobs.
Currently snowed under, ironically.
Would be nice to have more time to spend with all you beautiful people here though… 😁
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