Jay Blades [3]

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What an absolute cunt and a fraud this man is.

The television companies must have thought that they were on to a woke winner when this cockney, four eyed person of colour (edit) came onto the scene.

Now they are fucked after he has been investigated and charged for controlling and coercive behaviour against his estranged wife.

One of the many bull shit stories that this man has invented about himself is that he was semi literate until he was diagnosed with dyslexia in university.

So how the fuck did he get into university?

His programme with his ‘good friend’ Dame Judy Dench, which was called The Odd Couple, will now have to be shelved, not to be repeated.

As will his other programme with his ‘best mate’ Sir David Jason, The Travelling Tool Shed.

Are we really expected to believe that either of these respected actors had a fucking clue who Jay Blades was before the TV companies asked for them to co-star?

Jay Blades first appeared on the telly on some shit programme hosted by the fat, ex-public schoolgirl, Kirsty Allsopps Workshop.

He invented himself as some avant-garde furniture restorer, but as he obviously didn’t have the talent to make any money in that trade, he started a charity.

That charity allegedly went bust. This ruined him financially and caused him to contemplate suicide.

He should have stopped contemplating and just fucking done it in my opinion.

A charity is supposed to be run for the benefit of others so how did it closing have any effect on his own personal finances.

Why was the charity and his personal income from it not investigated?

Could that possibly be that he is black?

Jay Blades is a talentless person of colour (edit) bastard. He fronts the TV show The Repair Shop where he wanders around like he is in charge without actually doing anything.

It’s going to take some clever editing to keep him off our TV screens in the future.

Birmingham Mail.

Nominated by : The Artful Cunter

Additional evidence for the prosecution from W. C. Boggs:

May I strongly endorse this nomination?. Blades started out (minus glasses but with a thick leather apron) on the afternoon show “Money For Nothing” (probably in honour of his pay cheque). His trick was to be given a wooden chair. It MIGHT get a light sandpapering, if he had the energy, but it would invariably be painted all black, except for one leg – which would be painted shocking pink, or pillar box red or golden yellow (‘cos that’s cool, innit?).

Like our Dear Leader, he never needed glasses till he became famous) and like our Dear Leader seems to live in a fantasy world of his own – in his original MFN introductions he described himself as “a former philosophy stoodent”. It would be interesting to know which schmuk took him on at which university, especially as he sounds as dim as a glow-worms armpit. The BBC was forced to show yet another chopped down Garden Rescue last night with that awful mincing little poof, Lee somebody-or-other. Perhaps Blade’s disgrace will lead to the end of that syrupy maudlin Repair Shop. As I have always said every cloud has a silver lining. Now make my day – let somebody catch Ant & Dec cottaging.

51 thoughts on “Jay Blades [3]”

  3. I’m quite obliged of never settling eyes on this cunt, because I don’t allow black cunts on my telly. If I unfortunately catch one of the cunts subliminally, I scold myself by telling my girlfriend not to suck my cock for at least a couple of minutes.

  4. ‘This broken teddy/gramophone/mangle/corset reminds of my dear mother who passed away last year’.
    Cue sobbing as Jay’s lip wobbles.
    ‘Don’t worry, we’ll do what we can’ says Jay. Meaning someone else will fix it. Jay doesn’t get his hands dirty.

    Now if I was fronting that programme the response would be rather different.
    ‘Look dearie, it’s a pile of old crap. Chuck it in the bin, you silly cow’.

    • “oh yes, it’s a family heirloom. It means so much to me.” – that’s why you left the fucker in the garden neglected for thirty years. Daft cunts.

      • That’s right I remember a vice in this ilk
        Apparently it belonged to some blicks grandad who now wanted it restored as he was learning mechanics!
        Rusted to fuck it was.

  5. Is he the banjo plucker who was messing around with Polly Wolly Doodle from the BBC’s personnel department? I think it is him, but its difficult to tell when he wears his comedy glasses.

  6. Money for nothing, just about sums this useless cunt up.

    His talent is cutting up bits of wood using all the top of the range tools which makes the job easy even for a wanker like blades.

    I never realised he was black, those glasses are a brilliant disguise 😳

  7. Mr Blades is a strange hybrid of Malcolm X and Andy Capp.

    There’s many reasons to despise him.

    For my dad it’s that leather pinny he wears
    For my mum it’s his spotlessly clean shirts
    An for me his skin colour.

    He reckons he couldn’t read or write yet studied at Buckinghamshire university?
    Where he studied criminology,
    Which is handy for furniture restoration.

    He says his life has been blighted by racism.
    Although the speccy cunt is all over the TV and earns more than I ever have.

    I’m starting to think Jays a bullshitter.

    A BBC pet.

    Probably hand painted the buttplugs at Huw Edwards coming out party.

      • The only one I have time for who’s not even on that list is Simon Reeve. Makes very interesting informative programmes, is genuinely empathetic and seems a nice fella. Then we have that smug arsehole Lineker and the rest of the Match of the Day gravy train, Shearer, Richards etc. I, along with 90% of the viewers I’d say, mute or record MOTD and fast forward these gobshites. Trying to make the easiest game in the world seem complicated. I really loathe these bastards.

  8. ” look at that shirt!!
    Straight out the packet!
    Never saw a days work in his life!”

    – Ma Miserable.

    ” Look at that pinny!
    It’s never seen a days work in its life! What a little puff!”

    -Pa Miserable

  9. Surely he must be inaugurated into black history month forthwith!…another of the pioneers who built precisely 💩all … perhaps he can make a bigger chip for his chippy shoulders…🍟

  10. The show The Odd Couple was promising.

    Jay was buddied up with elderly Chinaman Judi Dench.

    Sort of like Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in Rush hour.
    But without any action.

    Theyd go talk to ordinary members of the public like Zoe Ball or the head of just stop oil and look at their broken shite.

  11. Those artisans on the repair shop,
    All posh cunts you notice.

    And they desperately try and shoehorn sooties in .

    I’ve met lots of trades people.
    And I’ve had work done by people who know their trade-craftsmen.

    Not once have I met one who looks like a extra from Tarzan
    Or a purple haired fish supper.

    It’s bollocks.
    Kidology.

  12. This fella is nothing more than a BBC diversity hire.

    Yet to see him fix anything.

    Just talks a good job.

    If I needed a precious family heirloom repaired then I certainly wouldn’t take it to an ethnically diverse tradesman anyway.

    Fuck that I’d want the job doing properly.

  13. As well as being a lazy bastard who swept the floor for ten seconds each episode and laughing with other craftsmen outside the barn drinking tea – cover for scanning the carpark to mug some cunt for their ‘precious treasures’ he is also a cunt for appropriating the flat cap. They would soon cancel some gammon off the Antiques Roadshow for wearing a durag.

  15. Never heard of the cunt or his silly TV show but he can share a cell with that cunt from the antiques show if they are both convicted of bullying women.

    No time for cunt men who try and control women or can’t move the fuck on when divorced. The only time I want to see my ex is roasting beside Hades in the Underworld.

  16. Has he been convicted? If not, then he is still a cunt. A Fake “Lonndonahh!” of the tinted variety. What has he ever done to attract stardom status ?

  17. My dear elderly parents love this crap or the despair shop as i call it and get tutted at. I always said to them that he has a hidden agenda, he is ok they said and that i hate everybody. I also told them that sir,lord,dame tom daley was a turd countersinker, i got tutted at again. Where are the natural talent normal people and not box ticking cunts.

  18. That charity allegedly went bust. This ruined him financially and caused him to contemplate suicide.

    Ah well. Can’t win ’em all. Close, but no cigar.

  19. Blades could dabble in a pop singing career.
    He could re-work the old Bob and Marcia tune, and rename it.

    ‘Bald, Coercive and Black.’

  20. Can see this cunt getting out of a custodial, like most Beebscum do.

    I can also see this cunt on some puke inducing ‘road trip shite with Huw Edwards,
    Like that Brydon and Coogan crap, only worse.

    • True..I mean just look at the highly talented Alison Hammond, or that cunt Ryland or stacy Dooley, or even stacey solomon and her highly talented husband joe swash. All highly talented, educated people who deserve to be on tv to help inform, educate and entertain us as per the bbc remit (and the council house favourite channel…itv)

      Watched an old episode (ok, they are all old now) of Call my Bluff on some sky channel the other night with Robert Robinson, Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell……..wonderful stuff. Dressed proper, spoke proper, no swearing and educated humour.

      • I saw that too CC and smoking in the studio, the chap with the tic and stutter, comedy gold.

  22. I love the repair shop, he as already been chopped from the new ones, guess what? You wouldn’t notice.

    • The repair shop is just a vessel for sensitive people to spin their heart wrenching story behind their broken bit of shit. If you have something decent that’s broken but you haven’t got some tear jerking back story to it, you won’t get on.

      It’s just preying on the ‘money shots’ when some old tart starts crying before it’s repaired, then after when it’s revealed….you can just picture the director getting the cameras trained on their faces ready for the first tear……bet he’s got his cock out wanking when that happens.

      Tears on mainstream tv now and like a cum shot in a skin flick.

      Cunts

  23. If you want to see proper repairs, house building and craftsmanship you should watch This Old House with Norm Abraham. A master Carpenter. I watched this for hours on You Tube, doing up old houses and bringing them back to life. Superb. All the other tradesmen knew their stuff also. Highly recommended.

  24. There used to be some big bald cockney bloke with a handle bar moustache who rode a trike who had a DIY/restoration TV show.

    He was fuckin great.

    He’d go scrap yards and timber yards and haggle.

    Make something really good.
    Talented as fuck.
    He moved to the south of France doing up a old property.

    I used to like him.
    Can’t remember his name though?

  25. He reminds me of a blek Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins.

    “What did I tell ya? There’s the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it but the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.”

  26. From what I saw this cunt never repaired anything. The cunt always turned up when the work had been done, cracking on he’d had helped.

    Reminds me of a few cunts I worked with, useless thick glory grabbing, arse licking bastard’s.

    Skeletor….💩

  27. This slippery piece of shit will resurface somewhere on the telly. Cunts like him always do.

    It could be some cheap and tasteless shite on Channel 5 or Sky, but Blades – like that other unflushable turd, Schofield – will pop up again somewhere. Probably a ‘tell all’ programme about his own ‘personal hell’ and eating his own shit on some desert island. I would say shredding his last remnants of self respect. But he never had any in the first place.

  28. “Hey Blades you cunt, take those stupid glasses off!”

    “Day ain’t no glasses boss , day’s ma nostrils “

  29. Why does this continue to happen with such monotonous regularity, especially on the BBC?
    The more talentless, fucked up and dim you are so much the better!
    If you’re also a mumbling ‘effnick that no one can understand it’s trebles all round…
    Anyone who seeks the lime-light to the extent that this porch monkey did needs to be removed from our screens – permanently.
    I hope the cunt gets what’s coming to him and is sent down!

  30. I’ve always thought something would Bad crop up about this Talentless Bum, now that his career is in tatters I bet he will resort to selling drugs or becoming a Pimp.

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