are cunts.
Grief and sadness are part of life. They’re things we all experience at some stage in our lives. Well all except ‘celebrities’ and ‘personalities’ that is. It seems that they experience something altogether deeper and more profound. They suffer what is referred to as ‘heartbreak’.
Take ‘Tiny’ Alan Titchmarsh for example. He suffered a ‘heartbreaking’ farewell when leaving his family to pursue his career.
Slebs are experiencing a lot of this ‘heartbreak’ by the looks of things. Just in the last couple of days, I’ve learned that Barbra Streisand has endured ‘a secret family heartbreak’. Golfer Rory McIlroy is being comforted by his family after ‘suffering heartbreak’ this year. Phil Collins’ daughter has forgiven him over ‘childhood heartbreak’. Shakira is now ‘having a good time’ after suffering ‘heartbreak’. Etc.
Not just individuals but groups can suffer. Poor old West Brom suffered ‘late heartbreak’ after recovering from a two goal deficit at Sheffield Wed, to lose 3-2;
You’d have be hard-hearted indeed if you didn’t feel for these poor souls. Still, something positive can emerge from such experiences. Take the case of singer Messina (me neither) who turned her ‘heartbreak’ into a country music album. There’s a positive for us as well; at least it makes a change from reading about ‘the night I nearly died’ by (enter sleb name here).
Nominated by Ron Knee.
If they want to take their minds off it, they could always have other bits of their anatomy broken – I’d be happy to do this for them and would only expect travel expenses to be covered.
16
Alternatively, if they feel that sad, they should just jump off a cliff. Sorry Dave, but that would cut out the middleman.
5
Someone would still have to clean up the mess Lord S, unless you believe in letting our beaches get polluted with shit?
4
I don’t but our government certainly do. Look what you find on them on a daily basis now.
6
Brave little soldiers, ordinary people would struggle to get out of bed if they had to cope with the traumas these luvvies go through….
Oh wait, ordinary people do cope with trauma!
13
Little tich is nothing but a selfish cheeky cunt.
9
The fairy has never handled a spade in his life.
0
The twats always looked like he’s lost a pound and found a shilling.
7
Slebs are going to know real heartbreak when they find out how much dosh Rachael Thieves is going to steal from them on 30th October.
Oh yes, and Alan Titmarsh is a pansy-voiced cunt.
Morning all.
13
Labour scum taking us back to the good old days of the 1970’s with 83% top rate on earnings and 15% surcharge on savings income.
Something to look forward to, because I have off-shored pretty much everything apart from what I need to live for a year.
Fuck Labour and fuck the idiots who voted for them!
11
Until the offshore banker wankers drop you in the shite with HMRC.
2
Unlikely Chris.
I have bank accounts, national insurance numbers, accountants and lawyers in a few countries.
All legit.
2
Mind you compared to that little poofter on Garden Rescue he sounds like Lee Marvin.
5
You could hang a wet duffle coat on Charlie Dimmock’s nips.
3
Charlie’s charlies.
At one time she floated a few boats; a strapping lass of a certain rustic charm, who you’d want to get well stuck into after a meat pie and a few glasses of scrumpy. And as you say Bob, nips like battleship rivets.
Sadly, the passing of the years has not served her well;
https://www.hellomagazine.com/film/496593/charlie-dimmock-home-life-away-from-cameras-garden-rescue/
3
And as I said, they don’t experience some health incident, it’s all about ‘I nearly died’;
https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/gemma-collins-nearly-died-drinking-wasp-venice-b1185291.html
Oh, and they don’t have a problem, or a tough time, they have ‘hell’;
https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1922978/amanda-abbington-breaks-silence-strictly-tears-vomit
‘My “Strictly” Hell’. Oh do fuck off dear.
Drama queens.
Morning all.
18
I would cry and vomit for a 100 K
5
Obviously Gemma Collins “nearly died” didn’t try hard enough.
If that Abbington failure spat instead of swallowed she wouldn’t feel the need to vomit.
0
Great cunting.
Infantilism is big business. Encouraged by the control freakery of big government and the lackey media. The example for the rest of us is given by the celebs. In exchange for lorry loads of cash, they willingly form the vanguard of the crybabies. “Boo-hoo, Trump used my song at his rally and he is nasty.” “Boo-hoo, covids has ruined my mental health.” “Boo-hoo, my plastic surgery went wrong and I look like a balloon faced cunt.” “Boo-hoo, I was so upset to hear that the chinchillas might be facing hardship due to climate change.” “Boo-hoo, Hamas has run out of grenades.”
Good morning, everyone.
15
Its guilt. That’s why he’s always had this sickly appeasing voice, that goes with his attitude.
6
No wonder today’s kids need “safe spaces” when they see so-called adults wailing like toddlers over the slightest misfortune.
Utter cunts who are aided, abetted, and encouraged by our shameful juvenile media.
12
Especially the infantile and spiteful online version of the Daily Mail.
2
“Woe is me”.Diddums.Full fat oven until crispy.
9
Timely cunting.
Schofield cunt announced his mother’s death late yesterday\Early this morning.
His mother wasn’t famous as far as I’m aware so why the need to announce her death? Close friends and family will I’m sure not need headlines to find out about her sad departure.
I sincerely hope this isn’t about example of Schofield attempting to garner public sympathy.
I’m not a mean spirited person and the loss of a loved one is of course terribly sad.
Trouble is Phil I don’t trust your integrity or your intentions.
https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/phillipschofield-announces-sad-death-mum-9632805.amp
8
He has just gone through an emotional time alone on the island, pouring his heart out but no one gives a fuck so his mother has given him more sympathy points.
I can’t see any other reason why he would announce it to the world.
Just confirms what we knew that he is a cunt.
8
Schofield even made the nationals – well The Sun anyway, Yet more heartbtreak:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/31079023/phillip-schofield-final-photos-mum-pat-death/
3
He really is a turd that won’t flush isn’t he?
3
Poor, dear Pip, I’m welling up just thinking about his heartbreak.
Actually, no I’m not. If it hadn’t been his mum, he’d have been wailing about his nieces pet gerbil, or his favourite aspidestra.
4
A great picture of Mr. Shitmarsh Ron, digging out manure from his right nostril.
5
It may well be a royal cling on m’lord, given the amount of brown-nosing he used to do every year when he was introducing the Chelsea Flower Show.
4
Fucking hell wait for the heartbreak when Elton “greggs” John kicks the spunk bucket!
I don’t think I can face the anguish.
So I think I’ll go to the pub.
Fuck them and Good Morning.
8
Like banging pots and pans for our other national treasure, rNHS, the whole country will be encouraged, at the appointed hour, to stand on the doorstep and sing ‘Candle In The Wind’ for our fallen hero.
Or ‘Candle Up The Arse’ chez Twatt.
6
Probably best not, some absolute melt will only end up playing candle in the wind and other equally crap songs.
2
What fun they had;
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/king-charles-elton-john-keir-starmer-international-investment-summit-b2629168.html
Our Reg has become a real power player
3
Bloody hell Titchmarsh, adding to his ‘heartbreak’ he only opened up to it with James O’ fucking Brien. I thought talking about it was supposed to be a liberating experience.
6
I think that I’d truly be redued to heartbreak if I came face to face with that miserable, gurning cunt.
O’Brien’s got the personality and demeanour of a dead fly.
5
Makes me wonder how the fuck we fought two world wars.
Different breed in those days, just got on with it.
No woe is fucking me all the time…..!
8
Exactly
4
Slightly OT apparently alec salmond died while trying to open a bottle of ketchup.
The strange thing was he was having a bowl of frosties at the time..
8
Disappointed to hear that BZ. Now if the headline was “Alec Salmond died whilst greedily scoffing a round of (family sized) Pukka Pies” – that would be the stuff of legends.
He was carrying a serious amount of lard when he keeled over; not a good strategy for seeking a long and healthy life.
4
That reminds me of probably the biggest pisshead of all time Oliver Reed who carked it in a Maltese bar called ‘The Pub’.
It’s what he would have wanted.
6
@geordie…was in that place in may it’s in a little side street in valleta…pictures of the great pisshead adorn the walls 🥳….live hard, die happy 👍
4
I still think Starmer will conk out on the crapper – his chronic constipation and piles catching up with the old bugger at last.One final loud long fart and it will all be over, a grin of horror on his face and his glasses balanced on his nose.
He is a horrible mixture of Sunny Jim Callaghan and John Major.
6
Oliver Reed died having a gigantic piss up with some mate lots from a destroyer.
A couple of years later I saw someone wearing a tee shirt stating
Oliver Reed
Lost in Action
May 2nd 1999
Brilliant or wot ?
6
What is the jocko equivalent of Greggs? McGreggs……..
3
I bet Salmond the Hutt wanted to go out like his brother, Jabba.
Strangled to death by a bikini clad Princesss Leia.
4
Although George Best runs him a close second.
2
Indeed Paul. He’d piled on the pork in recent years.
4
Titchmarsh was a lazy cunt on Ground Force. Note that the heavy graft was carried out by Tommy Walsh and Charlie Dimmock. The soft pansy, Titchmarsh just wibbled on about his plans for planting, but most importantly, doing sweet fuck all to avoid getting his soft Nancy hands dirty.
What ground my gears is that Titchmarsh would lap up all the credit at the end whilst poor Tommy and Charlie were sweeping up, cleaning the tools and getting packed away.
CUNT.
6
Never got the 90s craze about blokes who wanted to jump Charlie Dimmock.
5
It was a combination (for me, anyway), Norm. Not in any particular order:
The ginger ringlets
The girl outdoor look
The granite-hard, protruding nipples
The way she put her back into the work – if she was as vigorous in bed, it would be mindblowing
Mind you, she has acquired some, erm, timber of late. Not really featuring in the wank bank nowadays. Sorry Charlie.
3
As well as suffering from breaking hearts they’re tragically susceptible to ‘breaking silence’ after having kept something under their hats for at least five minutes. Anything for a tabloid headline. I’d only take an interest if it was something about breaking necks. Narcissistic and worthless shower of cunts, taking the general public for mugs.
8
Alan titchmarsh, the new face of dignitas.
6
You mean that he beat James O’Brien to it?
O’Cunt and Dignitas seem like the perfect match.
4
Was wheeling my old mum in her terminal years (and making every last inch of it) into the local garden centre where the little toad was doing a book signing.Some press around and he spotted the old mater in her chair and came over with a greasy grin on his mug to present her with a buckshee copy for the cameras. The mater failed to recognise him and refused to take it being used to a lifetime of pimps, wideboys and con artists.
“It’s alright love I’m Alan Titchmarsh”
“Don’t care who you are Shitemarsh leave me alone” and threw the book back at him.
The little toad retreated to a symphony of camera shutters. Pre digital era.
5
That fat fucker off Strictly Come Cunting.
‘Heartbroken’ because he was caught trying to cop a feel of some bird.
No sympathy whatsoever for the cunt.
Doing something as stupid as that. In front of the TV cameras and on the insanely woke BBC. The pillock was asking for trouble.
For fuck’s sake,someone who told a mildy sexist joke on social media ten years ago can get the sack and have their career and life ruined. So this dickhead has no chance.
Mind you, the Beeb probably see it as a blessing.
Takes eyes off Huw Edwards, and off other Joe Ronces who lurk around BBC Towers.
5
OT. Labour’s latest brainwave. Give weight reducing drugs to fat unemployed people.
Well, for a start, this is mighty sinsister. We’re supposed to be British, not fucking Chinese or North Korean. That’s the sort of crap they do. I expect to find that the X-Files Smoking Man is behind this somewhere. If they do this, I expect someone will have a bad side effect and probably die from taking this shit.
Also, that cunt of a health sec claims that these ‘people’ are a burden on the NHS.
I’ll tell him who the real burden is. In December 2019, I had a blood test at North Manchester General. Out of 400 people waiting, I was but one of seven white and English patients. Seriously, all the others were migrants and (mostly) black. My local dentist. Also teeming with Africans and Staki Pannis demanding treatment and interpreters. When I go the hospital (as I do regularly) I don’t see any overweight Brits burdening the place. What I do see is dirty liberty taking brown cunts. Making noise, playing dumb and dropping turds that stink the place out.
Not to mention the hordes of dinghy filth and RNLI taxi riders who are sucking the land dry and still continue to arrive.
Will Starmer’s Stasi do anything about that?
4
fucking nightmare Norman.
Successive givts have turned the health service into Bangladesh.
The fucking pigs.
As ever,keep at it lad and good health.
2
Nope
1
Zero Norm
0
That Amanda Abbington is a precious little snowflake, isn’t she? Previously married to that Freeman gonk from the Office and Hobbit bollocks. I bet she is a real fucking laugh a minute.
2
It’s an odd thing with her. One pic she looks like the personification of Plain Jane. Next pic she looks as hot as fuck;
https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/amanda-abbingtons-6-bombshell-claims-33320811
5
When my hamster died I was inconsolable.
I had to be talked out of throwing myself in the river Mersey.
The funeral was attended by a few celebrities.
I won’t name drop
But you could sell out Blackpool palladium with the big name draws.
The horse drawn carriage was paid for by a dear friend.
I won’t name her
Let’s just say..fandabidozy!!
The eulogy was performed by a disgraced weatherman who was accompanied on acoustic guitar by Gary Wilmot.
I’ll often stand at the mausoleum (crowdfunded) and a little tear rolls down my hairy cheek.
I’d won him in a custody battle with Richard Gere.
RIP jitters
3
I’m actually crying.
1
🤣🤣🤣🤣
1
Anal Twitmarsh has got that annoying Yorkshire voice like that other talentless cunt Michael Parkinson with his stupid Ringo Starr hairstyle and ludicrous sideburns.
1