The Oasis (3) Reunion

 

Guardian

Given that the Gallagher brothers can’t stand the sight of each other, one is forced to ask the question why the talentless twosome have reformed the band to do a 14 date UK stadium tour. Surely it can’t just for the money can it?

Well, perhaps Noel’s attitude to reforming softened in the wake of a divorce that allegedly cost him £20m? Or maybe the High Flying Birds aren’t quite flying so high these days?

Whatever the reason the back catalog of rehashed Beatles’ songs will make them a few quid. After all, why bother to go into the studio and release any new material when you can just roll out the same old dross. It’s been so long that the kids will probably think it’s something new anyway.

A beg Admin’s indulgence for the following link to a song I released in 2020. The lyrics are so spot on that it might have just been written today just to mark this momentous occasion. I give you “We’re In It For The Money” which I humbly offer to the Gallaghers if they would like to include it in their set…

youtube

Nominated by ChasC.

A second helping of not looking back in anger from Norman below.

The Oasis comeback….

Already I have had enough of it. The fuss and coverage of this has been ridiculous. First of all, is it the proper debut album era band, or just the Gallaghers with sidemen?

After all, they have had four drummers. So it’s anyone’s guess what sort of ‘band’ it’ll be. A band is a group of musicians who have a magic chemistry and work well together. It isn’t two bickering brothers and load of musos cashing in.

And the amount of morons it has attracted. One knobhead was gsushing about how the reunion is a great day for Manchester. Since when did the Gallaghers represent Manchester? As I recall, the brothers pissed off to London the minute they could, and they haven’t been back since. They are as bad as the Beatles and Cilla Black for shite off a shovel scarpering to the smoke.

And the other pricks who were talking shit today. One silly bitch on BBC Radio Manchester went on about how she saw Oasis in 1989. What? the 1989 when Oasis didn’t even exist? They formed in 1991. And this daft cow was actually presenting the radio show. And, on the same show, another mong yapped on about all the times he saw Oasis in the ‘Eighties’. I knew most of their fans were stupid, but come on…

Oh, and the predictable and nauseating bulllshit from Andy Burnham was present and correct. He can fuck off and all.

As you can probably tell, I am sick of this reuniion before it has even started.
What’s the story? Load of bollocks.

And a third chorus of Wonderwall from W C Boggs.

Every front page today – be they “serious” or cheap or free tabloids carries large photographs of two aging songsters, brothers, it seems, who cordially dislike each other, but, because they need advanced dental work, new trusses and Zimmer frames are reuniting after 15 years to purvey their brand of Britpop with their beat combo.

The Gallagher Brothers are back, and they are treated with all the reverence there would be if Sir Adrian Boult or Dame Myra Hess had risen from the dead.

No doubt many aging Radio 1/2 listeners are creaming their undercrackers at the thought of reliving their youths, but they – and these pop brothers – are now wobbling into middle age, and they will find they are not the fanny magnets they were back then. The battling brothers will probably have brewers droop which will disappoint the now advanced in years groupies, the trendies of 15 years ago are now balding or their tits are resting on their kneecaps. Change and decay in all around I see.

Provided they don’t kill each other on the road, or have another 15 year hissy fit, they might well soldier on like the Rolling Stones or geriatric McCartney, but the ridiculous spin on this non-event eagerly taken up by the press (perhaps to deflect attention from Starmer’s speil yesterday) reeks of undeserved hero worship and free advertising for two worn out old has-beens. The BBC’s news programmes were orgasmic in their love. Far better they and their fans just kept their memories of younger and happier days while sucking a Wurthers Original.

A pair of Mancurian arseholes are going to relieve their old tat at 2025 prices. Why bother?.

I give you a link from the cheapest (in every sense of the word) “newspaper”, though you will even find them in the Telegraph:

Addendum by Sam Beau.

The 2025 `DW Pension Tour`

Yes, I know they`ve been cunted twice before, but why not cunt them again – this time for being the greedy cunts that they are and cashing in on their back catalogue. Before one of them dies.

Not so fucking thick now, are they?

Fortunately, I`ve spent absolutely no time whatsoever trying to obtain a ticket for the upcoming tour whilst simultaneously laughing my face off at the pathetic cunts wasting hours of their lives trying to buy one – for a ridiculous price.

Might I suggest to the brothers it would be easier setting up a `Go Fund Me` page rather than having to actually get out of bed and tour globally the length and breadth of the UK?

But still, after having said all that, I do hope they further deprive millions more fuckwits of their hard-thieved cash with future jigs.

No doubt looking back in anger, it`ll certainly be a champagne supernova for them.

♪🍸♫

94 thoughts on “The Oasis (3) Reunion

  1. Nothing to do with all the money they will make is it, no it’s a reformation of their incredible musical talent kching kching. Bollocks

  2. I remember these obnoxious chancers first time round, i bought definately maybe on cassette, whats that you say a cassette. The second album ia okay, anything after that is just sheeittte. Profiteering knuckle draggers. Britpop very much of the time. I will pass on this thank you.

  3. Unlike the feckwits who’ve paid £300 a ticket to sit on a seat, fork out £8.00 a pint , shepherded by power hunger security gibbons. 99% will watch the gig via a held up phones anyway.
    I saw this 3rd rate Beatles cover band for free in 1995. Jumped the fence at Glastonbury. Cheap cyder, some rather interesting mushrooms and lots of smokes. True moment youthful freedom.
    Oasis are average at best.
    Blur were stuck up art school cunts.
    Pulp were far more interesting.

      • Totally agree Norman . Pulp and suede are more original. Plus they had a bigger following by more attractive females.
        Always a bonus at a gig. Hence my name stinkfinger.

    • Blur pretending to be cockneys and going down the dogs.
      Watered down Ray Davies and Syd Barrett impressions.
      ‘Country House’ was the biggest pile of crap.

      Their later stuff like ‘Beetlebum’ was better,

  4. I’m just amazed that a band thirty years past their prime are able to sell out anything larger than a pub garden in Manchester.

  5. It’s amusing that the Gallaghers continue to wind up the Grauniad feminazi loonies. But the reunion is a big piss take.

    150 quid to stand in the middle of a field is ridiculous. But what scalpers and ticket sharks like Viagogo are charging is even more insane. It’s a bit of a joke really. It”s Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds with Liam and that Bonehead bloke. So, how is that an Oasis reunion?

    Although I am not a big fan of either of the Britpop ‘Big Two’, at least the Blur comeback last year was them. The original four members. Oasis has been the Gallagher brothers soap opera for years now. And I dare say they will immediately renew their childish sniping, so beloved of the tabloids. In the 90s, they made it cool to be stupid.

    And, talking of which, their staggering pissed out of pubs lagered up music hasn’t aged well. Lumpen meat and potatoes drums, non existent bass lines, overloud guitars and shouty choruses. The songs of Oasis matched the oafish 90s lads mag culture perfectly. It doesn’t sound do good now. Mind you, it never really did.

  6. I hoped and prayed it was all a bad dream, but no.

    I thought they were boring as fuck first time round, even more so now.

  7. When Blair was first elected he had a honeymoon period that went on for years. Starmer’s honeymoon only just made it past his first weekend. You don’t suppose this is a setup to persuade us we’re back in those glory days for labour of the late nineties? Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t prove they’re not out to get me. Anyway people who pay three figure sums to see this pair of cunts must have the IQ of a grapefruit.

    • Kweer’s idea of Britpop is probably that Freddie and the Dreamers record his dad bought him for Xmas one year (he was a toolmaker you know)

  8. I quite like Noel, the sensible one.

    If I want Oasis, stick Spotify or YT on. For a concert atmosphere hold up your mobile phone so you can’t quite see the telly.

    • It’s a truly great day my Lord.

      I look forward to again hearing Dame Kweer Stalin telling us how’s he going to smash the criminal gangs.

      Plenty of Blue Sharks in the Channel this time of year chasing the bait fish… let’s hope there’s a few around Calais….

  9. I was right there in the 90s and can provide a realistic view of the times.

    Brit pop. Shit.
    Ladettes. Shit.
    1997. Shit. See Anthony Charles Lynton Blair….
    Chris Evans on yer radio, shit.

    The two brothers one shared eyebrow Mancunian Beatles tribute act, whinging into a microphone too high on its stand, just to look ‘edgy’…. Utter shit.

    Suede were and are still are far superior.

    Ps Andy Burnham is a cunt as well.

    • There was some shite in 1997, Leo.

      Paggi Rock was in vogue. Crap like Cornershop and Kula Shaker.

      The ever so overrated Beck, as he went all ‘kistch’.

      Those horrible ‘Sacred Spirit’ records. Some cunt chanting ‘Ay Ay Ah. Ay Ay Ay Ah’ over and fucking over. And cunts actually pretending to like it.

      The horror that was Alanis Morrissette. Howling bloody witch.

      Reef. For fuck’s sake.

      That fat phag Robbie Williams everywhere.

      And, of course, Fat Reg and that abomination of a ‘tribute’.

      • Fucking Kula Shaker. Did a song about the shittiest road in the country, the A303. And one of the group was called Crispin I recall.

        I forgot about Alanis. I wish she’d swallowed a jagged little pill at the time.

        Thanks for the memories Norm, none good old pal, none good.

    • Young Sarah Cox on the girly show was definitely worth a poke.. Still would.
      Met Baby Spice at work last year.
      Sweet Jesus on a rubber cross she’s fit.
      Not aged a year. Plus genuinely lovely…

      • That 90s computer games show, with those three girls presenting it. Bits on Channel 4.

        That Emily Booth. Oh Jesus, yes.

  10. Well I for one like some of their songs and can’t see the Beatles ‘rip off’ connection. They’ve never hidden the fact that the Beatles inspired them so what’s the fucking problem🤔

    • Good point.
      There’s loads of artists who use influences in their work, particularly early on. The Beatles being one of them.

  11. The two mono browed working class heroes and their apologists want us to think it’s all about the music and rediscovered brotherly love.
    Like fuck is it!
    The Who went on tour once, when they didn’t particularly want to, because John Entwhistle was skint.
    They didn’t broadcast the fact, but they didn’t exactly deny it was for the money either.
    And I’d have a bit more respect for them if they actually bothered to get involved in ticket pricing and catering charges at venues.
    All they’ll argue, is that kind of stuff is in the hands of promoters, but there would be someone out there who’d play ball if they insisted.
    Having said that, I can’t think of many acts that do owt for nowt.

      • Indeed.
        I remember The Police reunion back in 2007.
        They didn’t even bother their arse to record one new track.
        All about protecting the legacy I guess.
        And fucking laziness.

    • They will probably have a massive falling out on the last gig of the series. The are the musical equivalent of Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel in Nearest And Dearest

  12. They look like a pair of half witted inbreds.
    Didn’t one of them stand hunched over at a weird angle with his hands behind his back whilst he wailed out some crap song?

  13. Don’t look back in anger….when you check your bank statement and find you are in the red courtesy of the £150 you spunked to stand in some dog 💩…eer ower kid you Woz right they’re fucking mental 😂

  14. There was a a comedy band when i was a kid that did impressions of the bands of the day called the Baron Knights.
    Thats Oasis doing a pathetic copy of the Stones, Beatles and Sex Pistols.
    And that plank Liam imagining himself to be a Lennon/Lydon cross.
    I’m not mad for it.

    • I’ve never been able to remember which one’s Les and which one’s Nick.

      That’s how interested I am.

    • Therapy? Now that was a band from the 90’s. Raw energy and a lot of anger.

      Placebo were another. Very tongue in cheek and fucking amazing live.

  15. Hale and Pace “Don’t look back you W$%^&r” just about says it all about these excuses for musicians.

    Look on the bright side.

    It could have been The Smiths.

  16. I notice that maturity seems to have passed Liam by.
    Still swaggering with the arrogance and attitude.
    Kind of works when you’re in your late teens and early twenties, but looks fucking stupid in middle age.
    The act becomes tiresome after a while. Even John Lydon worked that out.

  17. Oasis, for the brain dead and weed addled underclass of the 90’s. If people want to spend a small fortune to see them resurrected it’s their money but personally I didn’t see anything special about them then and I doubt they will be doing anything different now.

    Liam is a prize cunt, Noel must be grateful that there’s someone who makes him look like a semi normal human being.

  18. I give it 3 shows before one of them twats the other then the whole thing gets cancelled, the punters lose their money and every cunt is suing every other cunt.

  19. Top! …sound…buzzing…our kid,…
    Madferit….twisting me melons man!

    -k.Starmer

    Id rather see the moors murderers live than Oasis.

    Never a fan.
    Although they are Northern, working class and not woke cunts so they’ve got that going for them.

    I preferred Morrissey.
    A far Right moaning cunt.

    • They’re doing it to celebrate Labour’s election victory.
      Only a matter of time before we see these working class multimillionaires back in No.10
      Sucking up to Starmer over cocktails,
      Like they sucked up to Blair.
      “Cool Britannia” my arse!

      • Kweer will be too busy sniffing the knickers Angie wore on her 12 hour dance marathon last week, and jerking off over them to worry about Oasis (unless it is the oasis he does his flower arranging with)

      • Sniffing Angie’s knickers and having Oasis round for tea are not mutually exclusive activities.

  20. I saw the mono browed pub band in 2002 in Finsbury Park..

    Complete upstaged by the charlatans and black rebel motorcycle club.

    Appalling venue, full of their awful fans..

    Then due to appear at the v festival 2009.
    Split up, no time for a replacement so got a extra half of james, marvellous..

    Stay split up you knobheads.

  21. I was a young bloke during Britpop.
    It genuinely did seem a bit more optimistic.

    I was always at gigs, buying clothes, listening to music, reading Leaded magazine,
    TFI Friday
    Pills for the weekend 👍
    Was the right age for it all.

    I still have clothes I bought during Britpop that I only wore once,
    A Levis darkwash denim jacket that was nearly hundred quid.

    Firetrap t-shirts, diesel shirts, and Ben Sherman moccasin shoes , a limited edition pair of doc marten slip on boots.

    Right little clotheshorse.

    I couldn’t give a fuck about that shite nowadays.

  22. I remember one of the defining images of the Blair era was Noel, or liam, or Ian – whichever one, they all look the same – shaking Blair’s hand at a 10 Downing Street love in. Noel/Liam/Ian looked quite sick, as if he were touching a dog turd.

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