Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Tolkien’s ‘The Lord of the Rings’ is my all-time favourite film, and Lord knows, I’ve got a long list of greats that I love. To me, it’s the absolute epitome of the film makers’ art, a sweeping, epic fantasy brought to the screen with magnificent swagger and style by all concerned. In short, it’s a masterpiece.
Now you may love it like me, or be indifferent, or hate it. What you can’t do is deny that the trilogy has had enormous critical and popular acclaim, receiving a cartload of awards (inc. no less than seventeen Oscars) and netting a cool £3 billion to date at the box office.
I wish that this perfect creation had been left to stand alone, but it wasn’t to be. Seeing dollar signs revolving in front of their eyes, the Hollywood suits and bean counters turned Tolkien’s delightful children’s tale ‘The Hobbit’ (surely only a one picture deal) into a sprawling three picture mess. Then Amazon had to get in on the act with ‘LOTR; The Rings of Power’, which is by all accounts a woke abomination, and a betrayal of Tolkien’s legacy.
Just knock it on the head already will you? But no, there’s news of yet another attempt to squeeze a buck until it squeaks with a new two picture project entitled ‘LOTR; the Hunt for Gollum’. Apparently the 85 year old Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf, if he lives that long. Viggo Mortensen might even reprise his role as Aragorn ‘if it fits the story’ or something. Blimey guys, do you need the money that badly?
This looks to me like nothing more than a cynical attempt to cash in on the amazing loyalty of the huge ‘LOTR’ fanbase, and they should be very careful; just look at how badly Disney has pissed off the ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Indiana Jones’ fans.
Of course the new films might be good, but to me the venture’s got box office backfire written all over it. That won’t stop them though, so prepare for ‘LOTR; the Return of the Suits’, and watch them trash another legacy. Again.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I thought Peter Mandelson was Lord of the Rings.
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I think the new lord of the ringpieces is Lord Alli
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If it ain’t broke fix it till it is.
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If it ain’t woke, fix it until it is.
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The cunt missed out Tim Bombadil out if LOTRs.
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Harry Potter for hippies.
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Well I`ve never seen it, Ron. But I can`t see it bettering “Fire Maidens From Outer Space” … https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046977/
I mean, just read this review …
From retrospective reviews, Halliwell’s Film and Video Guide describes the film as “a strong contender for the title of the worst movie ever made, with diaphanously clad English gals striking embarrassed poses against cardboard sets”.
🚀
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Ace.
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It’s a cult classic Sam, along with the likes of ‘Plan 9’.
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I wasn’t allowed to read lord of the rings.
My mum said it was a dirty hobbit.
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I think she was just Tolkien shite Mis.
What about Anthony Joshua getting battered around the ring the other night 🥊
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Afternoon Herman👍
Couldn’t of hoped for a better result could you? 😀
Id like to say I saw it coming but I didn’t,
He got well and truly spanked!
What do you reckon is wrong with him Herman?
Sometimes he’s a consummate professional and takes control of the fight,
Next time he’s in a trance and gets battered.
He’s bipolar or something
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I heard he was suffering from windolene poisoning, from all the mirrors he was kissing.
At least he can spend his big loser cheque in black businesses. Hope he likes afro combs and jerk chicken .
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Afternoon Mis.
Yeah I was delighted to be honest and I didn’t really see it coming simply because of some of Danny Dubious’s past performances where he’s struggled.
But boy did he come of age on Saturday and full credit to him.
As for AJ – I just don’t think the fella has much in the way of punch resistance.
Klitschko let him off the hook for some reason when he had him hurt where as Andy Ruiz and Danny Dubious certainly weren’t letting him away as easily.
Compared to the chins on the likes of Ali, Frazier, Holmes and even Tyson Fury, Joshua is light years behind those fellas.
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Hollywood is fucked very little of note is produced any more..
The coke addled yanks seem addicted to rehashing by way of Blek Lies Matter and The Gay anything of creative value.
It’s all unwatchable shite.
But it seems to make the Strong Wimmin happy..and the studios lose money.
So fuck the lot of them and “borrow” the best films off Internet (allegedly).
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Diversity and inclusivity is the other modern curse of Hollywood Unk.
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I preferred ‘Game of Thrones’, more sex, more violence, more dragons. Sean Beam was in it for a bit, but got killed off early; just like in LOTR. Now they have a shit rip-off prequel starring Dr Fucking Who. Take my advice, give it a swerve. I also liked stuff with Lucy Lawless in. A bit how I imagine Liv Benson would have been in the dark ages. Xena SVU – that would be a brilliant series. As long as it wasn’t done by the Disney cunts. They would fuck up any sure fire winner.
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Sean Beam is a particularly wooden actor, not to be confused with Sean Bean, who is ace.
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Elijah Wood is also a bit stiff.
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Same with Stephanie Beech,
Edwoodwoodwood,
And Chris pine.
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I liked LOTR.
And the Hobbit.
Watched them with the missus.
But I preferred Game of Thrones.
The character of the Hound was brilliant.
Hound ” you named your sword?”
Aryia. “lots of people name their swords”
Hound ” lots of cunts”.
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https://youtu.be/pGL9xJHYhVw?si=Kz6623LyqJTzpRny
The hound telling Dennis Pennis the way it is.
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I tried to get into ‘GofT’ but after watching a few episodes I gave up.
Emilia Clarke’s character was as hot as fuck tho.
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The title music will consist of 30000 old style cash registers a kching musical extravaganza. Fucking greedy bastards, a curse on their wankery.
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Never seen it nor harry potter nor star wars, oh the shame. Beneath the valley of the ultra vixens on the other hand is a classic, so ive been told and hasnt been messed around with.
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Did this series include Lenny Henry? If so it deserves a cunting for that alone.
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If you mean ‘Rings of Power’ CM, yes it did. As a ‘Hobbit of colour’ I believe.
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FFS
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I mean, what the FUCK?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8gQQPLqR1Q
Hilariously, embarrassingly bad.
What a pile of steaming wank.
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Algernon Winston Razzammatazz.
“Ooooohhhhhhhkaaaaay!”
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Can’t beat the latest blockbuster fantasy…’I know what I’m doing’…starring kunt 🌭 …made by Cumberland & Lincoln productions with funding from help the aged 🥶
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Sequels and prequels attempting to make more dosh off the back off a hit drive me nuts.
Take ‘Die Hard’ as a good example. A classic thriller reduced to farce by a series of increasingly ludicrous follow-ups. ‘Star Wars’? Turgid Lucas prequels, and a load of woke mess once Disney got its hands on the franchise.
Disney fucked over Indiana Jones as well, and even appears hell bent on trashing its own legacy with ghastly live action remakes of classics such as ‘Snow White’.
Hollywood has fucked itself.
Looking forward to seeing ‘Deadpool and Wolverine’? Me neither.
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Ho ho, see my link below, RK…
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This Lord of the Rings clip is just for Ron…a 3 minute affectionate piss-take:
https://youtu.be/8d_oSWH4pMQ?si=CZm_JpAwRh5dkXFG
Enjoy!
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Lol!
Nice one TCE!
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Clerks 2 gave us the ‘Porch Monkey’ scene 👍
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Indeed, SOI…back when Kevin Smith wasn’t a total sell-out dick:
https://youtu.be/IYITxGniww4?si=GI195X3ZowHPCozx
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Not forgetting the donkey 😂😂😂😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNB-m48TlbI
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Unless I am mistaken, won’t McKellen by mincing around a stage in a technicolour coat?
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It was too fucking long.
Liv Tyler was hot with the wing nuts
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I’d have loved to nibble her ears.
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I quite liked the films. The spin offs are shite. Typical Disney woke crap.
Anyhow I much preferred
Lord of her ring
Lawrence of her labia
Flesh Gordon
And of course shaving Ryan’s private’s
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LOTR has some pretty intense fans.
They really get into it!
Learning to write in elvish
Dressing as hobbits etc
Check out this character
https://images.app.goo.gl/5oiJQTJdnAQDCsVp7
Pretty good eh?
As good as in the films.
He could just as easily be a labour front bencher!
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Feel sorry for old school longstanding Tolkien fans. Because they are now getting tarred with the same brush as modern LOTR fan bellends. Who are just as sad as Harry Potter fantwats and Game of Thrones weirdos.
A bit like fans of the classic Doctor Who of the Hartnell to Davison years, being lumped in with the pathetic ‘Whovians’ who deify Trans Tennant, Jokey Whiitaker and Ncunti Gayblack.
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Wonder what the black quota for this new version of Middle Earth will be?
Sky fucking high Token Tolkien. eh?.
And, if they are anything lke the shouty ‘feisty’ super uppity treeswinger cunt in Disney’s Obi Wan Kenobi fiasco.LOTR fans will turn off in droves
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Lenny Henry was in The Rings of Power. The uppity cunt was getting so much stick I thought he was going to start a black hobbits workers union.
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Call him what he is.
A fuckin Orc.
That’s the middle earth term for em.
Keep the shire white
Send em back to Mordor👍
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I think Peter Jackson’s best works were Meet the Feebles, Bad taste and Braindead. in that order.
Probably because I was tripping off my tits when I first saw them.
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That biopic of the life of David Lammy was good too.
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Ho ho, Braindead, fucking fantastic!
I’ve never met anyone else who’d seen it (apart from my elder kid, just gotta wait for the young one to get a tad older).
This Selwyn in the park scene is best watched without context (for anyone who’s never seen it):
https://youtu.be/tOUwnNVlgWk?si=ejyHQYfveVny3cpl
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The bit where Lionel fucks the swing into the baby’s face is just magnificent!
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We have similar hobbies Thomas.
No surprise that we find this most entertaining. 😂
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Indeed!
On a similar note, myself and 6 or 7 mates went to watch Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness whilst stoned and it was one of the funniest two hours ever, I remember laughing so much that I got stitch.
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Ooh. that was one of our go tos too.
‘This, is my boom stick!’
‘Shop smart. Shop S-mart”
😂
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Braindead was mental. Loved it.
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Probably sounds like a nerd thing to do but I like to watch the first 3 Lord of the Rings films with Metal Albums on as a soundtrack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUG6ZWAU434
Bit like how stoners used to listen to Pink Floyd while tripping on ‘shrooms
That’s what RTC told me anyway.
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When the Nazgúl attack at Amon Sul its
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6hof4ZNTVw
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Now that’s a groove, as my granddaughter would say!
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Ron, if you put ‘The Hunt for Gollum’ into YouTube there is a fab made film I’ve watched for a few years that is really good, my guess is they’re stealing it. I’ve made it a little tradition to watch it the first time I light a fire, no idea why…
And I watched two episodes of the Amazon Rings of Power. Awful!
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Found it! Thanks FC; I’ll watch it when we’ve had our evening meal.
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Evening FC, you’re not a fan of Orcs who have wives and babies and don’t want to go to war?!
Crazy, isn’t it?
Ffs, Amazon twats…the whole reason Tolkien wrote in s̶ò̶o̶t̶ı̶e̶s̶ orcs is for them to go to war.
I’m glad it’s failing pathetically.
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Odds who have babies and don’t want to go to war? Sounds like tattooed and pierced soy boys from South East London.
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While I’m a big fan of the literary genre I found the Lord of the Rings films to be plodding and overdone.
With that said they were definitely better than Dork Wars or any of the Stupidhero movies.
Off topic…I’m waiting for Helene. Restocked the supply of ice this morning and I have the Weather Channel on the idiot box.
The good news is the zone of impact has narrowed and I’m no longer in it or under an official Hurricane Warning. But the situation is still serious as we are on the edge of the impact zone and are now considered to be in a Tropical Storm Warning.
It’s been raining all day and the winds are expected to kick up at 2PM CDT. (GMT minus 5). Landfall on the coast about 8PM CDT tonight with the worst of it expected to impact us starting about an hour after that.
Winds in the impact zone are expected to be about 130 mph plus. While here in the Tropical Warning Zone they estimate anywhere from about 50 to 60 mph with gusts up to 75mph.
Helene is expected to move through quickly. So kind of a wham bam no thank you mam.
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break out the rum General and light a fine cigar.
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Hey UT,
Usually it would be bourbon but we are indeed serving Rum here at the Villa in honor of a Caribbean Hurricane.
(Alas I must live vicariously as my Doctor has me on the wagon.*)
Cigar(s) already lit.
Weather Channel and non-stop Jimmy Buffet music.
*If something happens and I get croaked during this storm I’m coming back to haunt that fucking Quack for denying me a good drunk in my final hours.
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Sort of like the way we give our dogs chocolate when they are on their way out, eh?
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Brief musical interlude
https://youtu.be/bpZvg_FjL3Q?si=WZyyjGOCirmq3FyY
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Another!
Neil Young.
https://youtu.be/qmKrcOB7udA?si=5-mV0okUFfQTOvUH
Neil is a hippy’s name.
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Oh go on then
https://youtu.be/k9o78-f2mIM?si=OtfXVpWz5Skpdxie
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Read Tolkein’s LotR 8+ times as a young un. The orig film was good in its attention to detail, in relation to the novels. But fuck me was it long (3 hrs +) and the homo erotic glimpses between Frodo and Sam and americanised over emotion was a great turn off.
Prequels and sequels are never a good idea (except for cynical money grabbers who’ve prob never read the books)
Highly recommend director Peter Jackson’s early ‘Bad Taste’ film (prob now deleted) look it up it’s so bad it really is very very good….
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Man eating another man’s brain with a spoon in a bush 😹. I think he did an equally fucked up one called Brainstew as well.
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O/T, if you haven’t seen this check it out, you will see why Israel wants to wipe out Hamas…!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0023b3m/surviving-october-7th-we-will-dance-again
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I haven’t watched it (fuck the bbc) but am reliably informed they never once referred to hamas as terrorists. Cunts.
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I’d love to post a witty comment on this thread but I haven’t a fucking clue what it’s on about.
Meanwhile, respect for Mr Knee for nominating a significant number of cunts recently!
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Thanks cuntador.
I sometimes wonder whether I might wear out my welcome but I can’t stop myself.
Fucking hell, there are an awful lot of cunts about, and as I’ve said before, IsAC’s my safety valve.
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