Stupid inventions

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are a cunt.

Please allow me to introduce to you the idea of the “walking sleeping bag”

amazon

Call me old fashioned but if I am asleep I tend to be laid down for crying out loud. and still; well sort of. Who on earth would want one of these abominations? Even if I was one of the 6% poor fuckers that do actually sleep walk I wouldn’t want to try it inside one of these contraptions for fear of breaking a fucking leg.

I get sleeping bags I have been camping and stayed in a caravan etc when younger, but why can’t you get dressed once you are up and awake.

Reminds me of the lazy chavy cunts that go to the supermarket still in their PJs or fucking Onesies on a Sunday morning. Get dressed I inwardly exclaim to myself.

The Walking sleeping bag = one useless invention indeed. Can cunters name other such creations.

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

75 thoughts on “Stupid inventions”

  3. Dog ice cream; some cunt sells it at a cafe on the high street. . Who wants ice cream that tastes like dogs? It will never catch on.

  4. If you like changing rooms or tents in the middle of the night I guess it makes sense 😂

    I would make it two piece, pants with a zip fly and top, so padded pants and jacket 👍

  5. Anthony Blair invented a truss with a built-in pocket calculator.

    He designed it for people who want to count on their own support.

  8. They’ll be good for pensioners this winter after the poor buggers can’t afford to put the heating on. Especially if there’s a front and back flap to do your business.

  9. I nicked this off the web:

    Apparently golf has become so popular in Japan that women want to work on their putting skills while on the go. Enter Triumph International Japan’s Golf Putting Bra! This lingerie can transform into a 5-foot-long putting mat with two cups acting as holes. If that’s not kooky enough, the bra comes equipped with a built-in speaker that’ll say, “Nice Shot!” The package even includes a skirt that turns into a flag reading, “Be Quiet.” The Gold Putting Bra is a fashion disaster, looking like a piece of carpet with two pie pans glued on. Fashion aside, what are women supposed to wear under this ensemble? Are they expected to just play golf in the nude?

    I’m sure some on here will be thinking of different shots…

  10. The worst invention of all time: Religion

    “God did not make man in his own image; it was the other way round.”

    ~ Christopher Hitchins ~

  14. The Skims Nipple Bra; for those women who feel the need for ‘augmentation’ all day, even if everybody guesses they’re not real.

    It’s like men’s bulge enhancing underwear. What on earth’s the point? If you’re hoping to entice the ladies with the promise of a real length, just think how disappointed they’re going to be when they find out the truth.

    Afternoon all.

    • The skims bra is a wonderful invention, Most bras hide the nipple which to some is more important than the cup, If the nipple is not the size of a Scania wheel nut, I’ll pass.

  16. Walking sleeping bags?
    How marvelous!

    I used to like those adverts in the back of comics for x-ray specs, sea monkeys,
    The Charles Atlas plan,
    And Count Dantes Black dragon society martial arts course.

    Unfortunately I couldn’t afford the fuckin postage so never bought anything.

  17. Those sleeping bags look ideal for a Peeping Tom all nighter in the bushes across the garden from the neighbour with massive tits.

    Possibly.

    • They certainly do.
      Are they available in camo?

      Like a giant caterpillar lurking in the undergrowth….😀

  18. Oh I’m not so sure about this one.

    The people who buy it and where they may wear it, yes.

    But I myself am the proud owner of a “German army sleep suit” which amounts to a wearable sleeping bag., Not only is it very warm and hard wearing (had it at least 15 years now) it is also surprisingly waterproof.

    It lets me get out from tent where I spend many nights a year and enjoy releasing the many beers in my bladder all without losing warmth like a sleeping bag would.

    However, Senga and M’bulala when they get hold of one of these plastic looking things will turn em into the new must have gear for nipping into Tesco or swaggering about Tower Hamlets asking people if they from round deez parts.

  20. I’ve always despised the local chavs I often saw walking to the corner shop in their chav jim-jams while thinking it was okay and didn’t make them look like utter cunts.

  21. Boots Ski Marching. An experimental Army invention, ca 1960’s, which fell out of ski bindings and gave the wearer chronic blisters. Abandoned after a largish production run, probably after trials at RAF Sharjah.

  22. Clive Sinclair and his C5😄

    A little leccy go kart that in traffic can’t be seen by lorries, large vans etc.

    Basically a death trap like all green technology should be.

    He also looked like a professor

    https://images.app.goo.gl/BmwKW Pgdvexy8Epf8

    Massive forehead
    Balding
    Speccy twat

    Bravo sir!!

      • I agree the C5 was an aberration and also a death trap, but he did have some good ideas, like Large Scale Wafer Integration and some of his miniature products, and so he was only half a cunt, if that. In a sense even the C5 was foreshadowing what came nearly 40 years later.

      • Mr Boggs@

        When Clive was building the prototype of the C5,
        And all those swotty egghead cunts were all stood around looking at it,
        Why didn’t anyone say

        ” Bit small isn’t it?!
        Not very visible!
        Ona dark raining winters night it’ll be under the wheels of a artic.
        This a fuckin joke of something?

        How was it passed for road use?

        I’m the first to ignore basic Health & safety,
        But this was taking the piss.

      • When I was younger, you were either a ‘Speccy’ or a ‘C64’ person. I had a Commodore 64. I thought it was the bollocks. Games on a cassette player.

        Even my old mum caught the computer bug. She had a Commodore VIC-20. She loved it.

    • But he did bring the PC to the masses, thinking back even the spectrum had keys that could have been made out of a gimp suit……and the name Clive is definitely suspect, wonder what part of the LBGTQWERTY spectrum he falls on?

    • And he invented the ZX Spectrum, of course.
      Manic Miner, Jetset Willy and Atic Atac, three of the finest video games ever made.

    • Exclusionist, Norman … invited 80’s I loved my Amstrad CPC464. Built-in cassette deck, no less!

      Cunts these days complain about 10 second loading screens on 4K cinematic gigabyte-sized levels.

      Fuckers never had to put up with 3 minutes of screeching data for a couple of bytes of Mutant Monty. 🙂

  23. We should have a whip round and buy JP one of these sleeping bag suits for Christmas.

    He’s a pensioner and only little.
    Let’s treat him?!

    The idea of him warm in winter,
    Counting out his coppers by candlelight ,
    Well, it cheers my little black shriveled heart

      • Good on him.
        I like JP and hope the Labour party don’t freeze him to death.

        The dirty Marxist cunts will have their work cut out with me!

        Like trying to freeze out a polar bear.

      • Your not wrong, Barry, but I wouldn’t mind one of those walking sleeping bags.

        Trouble is, where would you buy size 24 wellies, because I’d never want to take it off in Winter, I feel the cold summat wicked, but the dog still needs walking.

      • Cheers, MJB.

        I have thermals, which I wear under my normal clothes in Winter, and under my Pj’s, too.

        I don’t stint on the heating, either. I’m in a fortunate position financially, and am not concerned about the loss of £200, although it means Iceland rather than M&s for this year’s party nibbles.

        I’m just fucking surprised Rachael Thieves (thanks, Barry) hasn’t taken the £10 Christmas Bonus, too. A payment that hasn’t changed since it was introduced 51 years ago.

        Missed a fucking trick there, didn’t she?

  24. On the subject of stupid inventions, what about stupid institutions.

    I give you the Met Office, who have issued a yellow weather warning for thundery showers over the next two days.

    Ffs, do give it a sodding rest!

  25. Useful for our increasing homeless street sleepers. When the old bill move them on or when some cunt tries to set them on fire. What a fucking World we live in.

  26. Evening JP👍

    They worry about a bit of rain yet appear blase about people breeching our borders and stabbing citizens!

    The government and the media seem to have different priorities to the likes of us.

    • I worry, Mis, because I’m becoming so bitter and cynical, when I should be relaxing into old age.
      I’m becoming increasingly annoyed, irritated, and wishing destruction, in a violent and painful manner, on those who are responsible for this utter shit fest.

    • You beat me to it Harold.
      What about space hoppers, one of them most useless toys ever created. My sister had one, well at least until I bounced it into a rosebush and it deflated.

  28. Fuck em.

    No point dwelling on it or you’d get maudlin.

    On the plus side two nights in a row I’ve gone in the back garden and found a big frog sat relaxing in the dogs stone water bowl 🐸

    Outside the front gate under a tree are two foxes waiting for me to drop off food scraps.
    Bats are out doing aerial gymnastics 🦇

    It’s still a beautiful world JP👍

    • The ‘back field’ behind Chez Norman is full of horses, rabbits, and geese, ducks and herons that fly over from Heaton Park.

      Bloody love it, me.👍

  29. SodaStream.

    This overpriced cack was a craze in the eighties.
    The flavoured ‘formula’ wasn’t cheap (and dearer than regular soft drinks). Then there was the gas cannisters. And then there was the fucking expensive machine you ‘made’ it with.

    A waste of time, didn’t last very long and ridiculously expensive. Of course, the spoilt ugly bitch who used to live round the corner thought she was the fucking bigs because she had one of these useless contraptions. We just used the Alpine pop man. Much nicer and a lot cheaper.

    It was a lot simpler – and cheaper – to just buy a bottle of bloody pop.

  30. My parents, God bless, bought into the Sodastream experience.

    Soon realised their mistake, but had me go and cancel their order, because ” he was a bit scary”

    Cheers, Mum and Dad. I’m five foot 2, and weigh around 7 stone ( I was 18, I’ve put a bit of timber on).

    Fortunately, he only looked scary, so no shitty pants.

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