Fridgescaping.
This nom will be of no help to cunters who, in the pursuit of whatever dubious thrills, have become locked inside a refrigerator. No, here is a matter of serious concern, a hideous new trend of which we should all take heed. Born of the mindset which lines its yard with gnomes, fairy lights, immense plastic butterflies or cement casts of the Buddha, this deviation (we may reasonably surmise) is the product of the broody or nesting female of the species. For whom the stark austerity of chilled groceries on shelves is too much to bear. And who, having duly decorated this purely functional space with knickknacks and objets de tat, will inevitably demand from the breadwinner, ever-larger refrigerators to accommodate her perversion…
Nominated by: Komodo
Fck me, I’ve seen it all now 🤨 This must be part of some Insta-trend. My fridge looks like a road in Leeds morning after the riot.
11
Presumably childless cat ladies?
Apart from all this silly nonsense in their fridges, the only other thing in there will be white wine, as they slowly drink themselves into an early, well-deserved grave, lamenting their choices in life, regretting not settling down with one of the many decent men who expressed an interest, deciding that they’d rather spend the twenties and early thirties being banged by bad boys and now they’re washed-up, lonely and barren and they deserve their isolation and misery, the fridge-decorating hags.
Fuck them.
21
You’ve just described me, TtCE! 🤣 (except for a lack of decent men..) Though my fridge still looks the opposite to the header pic.
8
Would you like to see his dungeonscape?
3
😂😂😂😂😂
3
Got to be middle aged, blue haired, childless, hamas supporting, Liberal Democrat voting vegans..
14
Whole milk in that fridge…
3
But no steak, beer or sausages Harry.
I think Barry has it spot on.
5
Judging by the name of the woman in the link I would suggest she could be anything but Hamas supporting. There is a certain Jewish mother type who would indulge in this sort of nonsense.
I barely have enough space for the beer and wine in my fridge.
Good Morning
3
I saw an advert for a fridge that when you touch the door twice it becomes transparent and you can see inside.
How fucking lazy do you have to be to not want to simply open the door?
Cunts tend to decorate their fridges with all sorts of cheap, magnetic tat.
Along with badly drawn pictures by their snot nosed kids.
I suppose that having all your meals delivered by a Pákí on a moped makes your fridge somewhat redundant.
You may as well decorate the inside as well.
It’s fuck all use for anything else.
10
You’ve just described the outside of our fridge to perfection Artful.
The wife’s got it covered with family pictures held on by magnetic frames. I’m happy tho, how could anybody object to photos of a smiling, happy family together on holiday?
Morning all.
3
I think that this trend will soon go viral in various USA regions.
Haitians will want to show that their fridges do not contain any neighbourhood pets or local wildlife.
10
Black men normally think that eating pussy is beneath them.
8
Probably ok with odd shrunken head mind.
3
Of course I’ve been doing this for ages.
Probably started it all off to be honest.
In my fridge is a small water feature, herb garden and a statue of Alfred Wainwright.
An some fish fingers.
12
Morn Mis, Alfred would hide behind bolders on the Lakeland fells, to prevent him bumping into people.
5
Morning Sammy
I don’t blame him.
Sick of mithering bastards spoiling his rambling
Asking for autographs..
Hell is other people.
8
I hate those yank fridges that are all the rage .
Fuckin massive!!
Won’t go through your average doorway over here,
Have to strip the doors off, disconnect the wiring, undo the plumbing for the ice making thing then put it all back together 😡
That and they weigh the same as a car .
Why would you need a fridge that big?
Anyway owning one in the UK is a silly fat cunt.
13
I have one. You’re right. The clues in the name.
11
Suppose you’re right FatJon.
Seeing as the average yank is like a fuckin Elephant seal in a Hawaiian shirt,
Suppose it stands to reason the fridges would need to be massive?
May as well buy a fuckin skip for groceries,
The stupid fat fucks.
13
Damned right MNC and good morning to you and everyone else.
Whatever happened to the popularity of chest freezers in garages?
I’ve got a old school one in my garage that very nicely holds two people.
Well, once the bone saw has completed its work, of course.
14
Morning Thomas 👍
Till I was about 10yr we just had a larder at home.
I remember our first family fridge.
It had faux wood effect 😂
My mam and dad thought it was marvellous!
Ice cubes in August?!!!!
One step away from hoverboards and teleporters.
8
I have a chest freezer in the garage! Wouldn’t be without it. This why flats suck and houses are great.
3
No wonder the yanks are fat cunts from the size of their fridges. They are walking fat-fuck-fridges themselves.
5
Tell the thick yanks to adorn the outer door of the fridge. Mine is covered in Viz characters plus any other magnetic fun given away with the comic.
I’ve even got one Viz gave away for the toilet doorknob. Honk ! Sew a button on that.
9
The woman is called Judish.
She had no choice in the matter, she was ordained a cunt before she could talk.
6
That’s her surname Dave.
Her Christian name being ‘Lyndzi’
Not Lyndsey like a normal person.
Fuckin fridge tampering moron
6
Didn’t see that detail MNC – just skim read the article and got an overall flavour of cunt from it
2
She should’ve put her cunt in there besides.
2
Silly cunts
3
Our fridge has all weird shite in it the daughter buys,
Smoothies😩
Ever had a smoothie that’s nice?
No.
Because they’re all fuckin dreadful, thick gloop.
Health food that never gets eaten.
I put any chocolate in there it fuckin disappears though!!
Must mistake it for a health supplement.?
I have to hide it in our house.
Den of thieves.
8
I have to conceal it in the Defender.
As long as it’s in a plastic box, then the mice don’t get it 😃
Ethel is like a giant mouse, where chocolate’s concerned.
Relentless and ruthless, like a sweet toothed Terminator.
Nightmare.
Morning MNC / all 👍🌄
5
Morning Jack👍
Sign of a sick society when love one steal chocolate off a poor working man.
I use my height advantage and hide it on top of kitchen cabinets.
I’ve considered using rat traps to deter them but seems a bit mean spirited?
I buy them cheap stuff from Aldi as a decoy
Whilst sat on the khazi gorging on fine artisan goods made by a renowned chocalatier.
3
Excellent strategy 👍
1
Mines full of ale 🍻 lyndzi,and don’t you usually put tat on the outside of the door …..’where’s the cheese lyn’. …ooh look behind the ornamental windmill or the picture of Niagara falls 😩
6
Lyndzi my arse.
Suerly that’s not her given name, but a stupid affectation, the kind of thing that a daft cow who decorates the inside of he fridge would give herself.
Great bit of cuntspotting by Komodo is this.
9
Well, can’t be any worse than decorating your house/flat with fridges and freezers, look what happened in Grenfell 😳
I dread to think what is lurking in Mr Cunt Engines fridge along with the fava beans and Chianti
7
Remember gas fridges? I don’t mean those silly little jobs for caravans that use propane, I mean full-size fridges for the kitchen that burned mains gas. No moving parts so would last forever. Recent times gas powered tumble dryers also removed from the market in the UK, still made by all the big names and available in the rest of the world. Oxford council plan to ban gas cookers next year. All these appliances very much cheaper to run than electric ones. All part of the plan to get us accustomed to sky-high energy prices to make it easier to disguise squeezing more money out of us.
7
We had a gas fridge. You had to place a metal plate with a hole in it over where the gas escaped. When switched on, strike a match and hoped for the best.
1
My grandmother had one. I’d like to think she kept the heads of detested neighbours in it. The house was on mains gas, which was then coal gas – half carbon monoxide, half hydrogen. It had a flame about the size of a candle flame, and that’s what did the work.
1
Lyndzi obviously doesn’t have much going on in her life.
She needs to get a proper hobby. Like dogging.
5
I was thinking something similar, Odin, but my alternative involved volunteering at the local animal shelter, summat useful like that.
I mean, just why?
It’s not as if you’re going to spend half an hour gazing at the artfully arranged asparagus, is it?
Or arrange Holywood style bus tours of interesting ‘fridgescapes?
4
Next thing you know, everybody in Calicuntifornia will be looking for a ‘fridge planner’.
5
You’re right, Ron. There is an obvious tie-in with Oxfam, too. I have just emailed Ms Markle-Windsor offering my fridge consultancy services and a range of slightly chipped BHS jugs.
3
Afternoon Jeezum, Afternoon Ron.
If she is really that bored, my shed is an absolute mess.
She’s more than welcome to come round and shedscape it.
Start a new Instagram craze.
3
Afternoon Odin.
That sounds like a plan. Mines an utter midden, could do with clearing it out with one of those mini JCB-like diggers.
3
I suppose this was invented by some Modern Parent type Super Cunt from the Guardian.
Good morning.
3
Jeffrey Dahmer was know to make full use of his, but he did struggle a bit with ‘best before dates.’
2
A customer of mine recently died an she had four chest freezers in the garage real end of days stuff plus shelves bursting with jumbo jars of mustard and tartar sauce, all out of date by a couple of years. Always been eccentric so I didn’t think she was preparing for five years of a Labour government.
3
Mine`s a SMEG® …
https://assets.products-live.ao.com/Images/ab669c7d-f017-4f0b-bdac-991bac6dad0a/1280×1280/FAB38RRD5_RD_Smeg_Fridge-Freezer_16.jpg
Looks great in the hut.
🛖
3
Blimey Sam, you could find that in the pitch black!
3
Butter, milk and meat is so last year!
1
Do they sell fridges with a transparent door so people can see their decorations without opening it? There’s nothing in mine but food and beer. From a thankfully-childless cat person.
1
So last 4 years, if you happen to be a pensioner.
There’s only so far my money can stretch, because it’s not knicker elastic.
If it weren’t for my girls, I doubt I’d eat meat more than once a month. So don’t trivialize summat you know fuck all about.
This is a very sore point, with me.
1
I was trivialising ‘fridgescaping’ and the idiots who want to put picture frames and vases next to their food.
0
With a name like hers I expect she dines exclusively at the latest restaurant ‘experience’ and hoity toity dinner parties with equally worthless hosts. Her snatch reeks of ancient roadkill.
My fridge, up until this morning held a large gammon steak and 4 free range eggs.
Life is great, fuck the white goods.
2