Supermarkets (7)

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really are cunts, especially when it comes to on-line shopping for groceries.

I’ve cunted this before about lazy twats who can’t be bothered to mingle with the plebs, and order their Christmas food on-line, then bitch and moan about “rancid turkeys ruining their Christmas” not to mention ad hoc substitutes that convince me there’s a sweepstake being run by the staff for the most outrageous substitution.

This one, however, takes the pale.

bbcnews

This poor woman, who relies on home delivery due to mobility issues, was so overcharged by Asda, she was put into overdraft with her bank.
Not only that, but they took days to refund her, causing her tremendous distress about having no funds to pay direct debits.

Fortunately, her bank has been very understanding, and has promised to cancel any fees.

Not so Asda, who whine that it takes time to arrange a refund. Why didn’t someone grab £500 out of a till and go pay it into her bank immediately, then worry about the balancing of the books later?

Of course they wouldn’t. Lateral thinking is beyond the robots.

Utter cunts.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

79 thoughts on “Supermarkets (7)”

  3. I’m not surprised so many home deliveries are cocked up. Half the staff in supermarkets round here have no English. I asked a young woman in our local where to find the pork pies. She worked out what I was asking but unfortunately she had no idea what a pork pie was.

    • I’ve never had a home delivery but other people who use the service tell me that the supermarket gives them the most tired looking fruit and veg, and if there is an item on your list that they don’t have, they will decide on an alternative, often unsuitable.

      • I’ve had a couple in the past but only tinned and packaged stuff, nothing fresh. Even then, an order for £40 was missing around 90% of what I ordered so I no longer bother.

  4. They need their arses slapping for those overpriced goods. That’s Asda Price for you.

  5. I must live a charmed existence.

    We stock up with a Sainsbury’s online shop every 3 months or so. Usually for bulkier or heavier items, fucking ace (we don’t have a car).

    Price is always fixed at time of ordering. And “no substitutes” specified.

    If something isn’t available then it isn’t delivered. Annoying, but not the end of the world. Like the time we ordered 20 cases of Kronenbourg and only 12 turned up.

    I walk into town three times a week to get miscellaneous smaller stuff and fresh food items – milk, fruit, vegetables, meat, bread, etc.

  6. A few years ago CAMRA took annual subscriptions by direct debit of £878 instead of £28 from people’s bank accounts. And it took the cunts 3 weeks to sober up after 15 pints of Blenkinsopp’s Old Cunt and pay back the £850.

    Incidentally CAMRA has been renamed CAMFBA, the Campaign for Fat, Beer-swilling Arseholes.

    • When Der Starmers mud slimes take over, under Sharia, CAMRA and anything to with alcohol will be outlawed.

      Whilst they are beer swilling pompous oafs, and pretty useless with finances… we should be promoting traditional British pursuits.

      • Not content with only pissing off certain demographics, he will also ban all meat, including halal sooner rather than later

  7. Some poor cashier cunt on the checkout was trying to see into my carrier bag as I paid for my shopping the other day. I saved him the trouble by saying ‘It’s empty. Look I will show you.’ I picked up the bag and turned it inside out. He went into some long-winded explanation that he was not looking in the bag, he was just going to help me pack. I said that I quite understood that he was told by his employer to treat all customers as prospective shoplifters so I knew it was not really his fault. This country is now so full of tea-leaves that we are all guilty until proven innocent. What a fucking state. Fuck off.

    • I dislike those barrier things they have in the larger shops now, where you have to present the barcode on your receipt to a scanner and the barrier swings open. It often doesn’t work and you get irritated people chuntering away behind you.
      This happened to me recently and a stroppy female employee told me to “just push the thing open” to which I said, but doesn’t that make me look like a shoplifter?
      Not that anyone seems to do anything about shoplifting now, it’s become so blatant, you feel like a weirdo for paying.

      • That’s a new one on me Mary, I haven’t seen it round here. I must say that if I was embarrassed by being stopped by such a device I would never go there again and tell everyone of my experience. Everyone except the store that is. Let them work it out when the customers disappear.

        I take the same line with dull cunts in local authorities who make extortionate charges for parking or bring in congestion zones. If they don’t want my custom that’s fine; I’ll go elsewhere.

      • Primark have introduced them, plus loads of self-serve tills.

        Like I can’t hurdle over their shite barrier?

        And if I was lifting, I’d go to a till?

      • I was in a Sainsbury’s this afternoon that had that fitted some months back. I noticed the barrier was just tied open.

      • Arfur – I forgot to mention the self service tills that have a camera above them and you can see your own face when you are scanning things – mine always looks fucking annoyed.
        I don’t like feeling like I’m in North Korea when I go out for a box of sodding eggs.
        Why do the stores spend so much on all this tech if they then have no intention of apprehending thieves or prosecuting them? No doubt the cost of that is passed on to the customers as well.

      • I see no reason why a trolley cannit be used as the effective battering ram it is, having paid for my shopping any obstacle put in my way with my goods impeding my lawful exit from the shop is fair game

    • He was probably checking to see you weren’t thieving over the £200 worth of goods you’re allowed to shoplift nowadays without fear of consequences.

  8. Asda is a fucking grubby supermarket which wouldn’t look out place in some shithole like Uzbekistan.

    Anyway I don’t think it’s fair that the disabled don’t have the same shoplifting opportunities as The Dark Keys.

    A govt committee should be drawn up at vast expense to investigate this appalling state of affairs.

    PS: fuck off Asda you dirty cunts.

    • Isn’t it owned by some mud slimes…. Or is that Morrisons.

      Equally as bad regardless.

      • No, you are correct Issa Bros are indeed muslims dropped here following the arrival of their parents to the trough of plenty in the 1960’s

  9. Shouldn’t have gone to Asda.

    No sympathy.

    I’m now off to the local farm shop for some top quality fresh produce,

    That is all. Get to fuck.

  11. I don’t know if its still the case, but if supermarket shelf prices differ with what you are charged at the till, you can keep the item, plus the refund what you were charged in the first place, when questioning it at the reception.

    • I was going on to say, at one particular shop, there was a wine I liked and was getting loads of bottles for nowt until they twigged.

  13. I digress. England’s bowlers are finding difficult to dismiss the Ceylon batsmen. Never mind, the rainy season is here to help. It could turn into a monsoon if we’re not careful.

    • I never have been able to work out why they hold Test Matches in Manchester in August.

  14. I would just loved to have given Asda my own review on them 2 x orange peppers.

  16. ASDA are megacunts.
    They send everything on a delivery order loose. Even fruit and glassware.
    No protective paper, nothing. They do this to appease climate change bellends who say plasic bags should be cancelled. A fucking nuisance. I passionately despise that rubber faced little gargoyle mong Greta.

    They also stock jack shit. My sister was going to do an order with them, but they didn’t have any white bread or milk on their website. Absolute crap.

    I belive ASDA is now owned by a couple of dodgy Paggis. Well, if you go in ASDA, there are enough of the fuckers.

    • I have an Asda round the corner. I’m sick of not being able to get stuff. This morning I bought a cheap car so we can go elsewhere.

  17. I still remember the days before supermarkets existed in our part of the world.

    You would have to traipse up and down the high street every other day and visit the butcher, the baker, the greengrocer, the fishmonger, the cheesemonger and finally the hardware shop for bogroll. Not Wednesday afternoon or Sunday though, because the shops were closed.
    Booze was bought from the local pub that had a side window to the bar which operated as an off licence for Watneys party 7s.

    If the youth of today had to do this, they would probably die of starvation because the lazy cunts can’t muster the energy to get out of the house and actually go shopping. Instead relying on home deliveries that substitute avocados with toilet duck.

    • My mum did all that too, Odin.
      But when the local Presto opened in the early 70s, she thought it was a godsend.

      Presto was good. It even had a record section. So, you could get your baked beans and the latest Led Zeppelin.

      • Ours was a Safeway in the next town over.

        The choice on offer was mind-blowing to us kids.

        Particularly the bogrolls.

        No more Izal for us! Such a boon! 😁👍

      • Now the memories have come flooding back.

        Shield soap, fizzy drinks in two litre plastic bottles, shampoo that smelled like almonds instead of that instrument of torture, Vosene.

        Dad would get longlife beer in cans! and Mum got her Harvey’s Bristol cream sherry that the pub didn’t stock.

        The only thing I missed was being lifted up outside the fishmonger in town to look into the barrel of eels they had.

        Happier times.

    • The supermarkets effectively shut down all the local shops by having counters. All except Morrisons have shut down their butchers and fishmongers counters and just sell prepacked crap that we don’t want, with almost no choice except take it or leave it. Cunts.

    • Supermarkets in the beginning were a good idea but that is when they were small (liptons, fine fare etc.) It worked hand in hand as a useful extra to the high Street so the small shops were still used.
      Now just retail giant’s prepared to steamroller everything and everyone one for their own gains and the small high Street only works in minor towns or villages but that seems the norm now and never should have been allowed to reach this stage.

    • Love that memory
      Remember those days well
      The butchers welcoming knew your Mums name then on to the local bakers (not a chain like Greggs) all service with a smile sounds like a rose tinted time but things did seem more relaxed not rush you through automated tills
      Those good memories have set me up for the day!

  18. OT, the rain has been coming down in stair rods in Bucks since dawn. Hopefully they’re getting the same weather in west London.

    • Here in Sheffield it’s bright and sunny so far. Albeit rainclouds appear to be moving in.

      • Dunno which bit of Sunny Sheffield you live in, but it’s been pissing it down on and off all morning, here.

      • I was near the Moor when I wrote this. I work lates though so maybe there was some rain earlier that I missed.

  19. In the staff area of the Bluewater John Lewis, there is a large framed glass covered poster on the wall, it reads “Customer service is an attitude, not a department.” I have used this ‘one liner’ myself on many occasions.

    • Why bother cheating the self service tills when you can just walk out with armfuls of stuff for free.

      It’s not like anyone is going to stop you.

      • I have occasionally nicked pastries from Sainsbury’s, I must admit. All you need is a rucksack/deep pockets.

  21. OT, just heard that there is a movement for military veterans to turn their backs on Stasi Starmer on Remembrance Sunday as he lays his poppy wreath. I hope it does happen, not that he will care. What is he going to do, send in his Met goon squad?

  23. I aspire to Co-op but mostly Aldi really.
    I enjoy the glamour.

    They have some smashing stuff!

    I like the social aspect of being followed around by a Pakistani security guard.

    • I would pay good money to see JP trying to get back a refund from a supermarket giant.

      He would be like Sheffield’s answer to Dirty Harry or the Equalizer.

      • I’m polite, but firm, LL, as you would expect from me, and I hardly ever have to wave the Magnum about.

        Although how a half-melted ice cream intimidates a person….

    • Younger takes me to Lidl every Saturday, as it’s conviently located less than a mile away, but every so often we go to Aldi, for a treat!

      I’m like a kid at Christmas in Aldi!

      Fuck knows why, because it’s the other cheek of the same arse in terms of food as Lidl, but their non-food stuff is fabulous.

      How the hell they manage to stock so much stuff Younger and I can’t live without, I’ll never know.

  24. Btw the maximum sentence for shoplifting is 7 years. SEVEN YEARS for a nonviolent offence. And they complain about prisons being overcrowded.

  26. I’m something of a fat fucker due to my lungs being knackered and most moderate activity soon leaves me struggling and reaching for various medication but I can still manage to get my arse to the shops.
    If it’s too much trouble unless you’re disabled you must be a bone idle lazy Cunt.

      • Sorry Jeezum. I’m not having a go at the disabled in fact far from it.
        If you read my comment again you’ll see I’ve put unless you’re disabled.

  27. I went to Asda, probably in 2003 or 2005. I needed butter and eggs, so nipped in. Awful shop, never been back.

    The joint leader of worst supermarket has to be Co-Op Local. Bread going out of date yet priced like caviar, like the rest of the tat in the shop. ‘Good for food’ my arse.

    • I have a Co-op right opposite my house but don’t shop there most of the time because of their ripoff prices. £2 for own brand Bran Flakes ffs.

  28. Agreed co op local are a fucking load of old wank.
    A complete rip off.
    People shopping local don’t want hypermarket size packs at high local shop prices
    Ffs co op get in the small packs at a decent price! Chances are you’ll get more punters instead of the m/way services prices where you are giving it the buy it or go without angle.
    We can see straight through that crap which is why you have hardly anyone coming in except the desperate or cunts with more money than sense.

    • Our local Co-op has mainly shoplifters rather than shoppers.

      I only go in for a paper and tabs, occasionally they reduce stuff I can shove in the freezer, but otherwise, no thanks.

  29. Wouldn’t be without my local shops for top ups on shopping got newsagent..bookies..chippy…supermarket..chemist loads of old people in the area it’s a lifeline for them not having to bus or drive into town and the range of products is pretty good…fuck having to walk around a shopping warehouse just for a few bits love the local communal shops

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