Potatoes

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This one will probably upset a fair few..

Potatoes.. what is this nations obsession with the things..

Fucking stodge,filler to a meal.
Not enough meat or fish, throw a spud in it.
4000 varieties all fucking bland..

Like pasta and rice tasteless unless something is added..

Chips. Salt,vinegar or sauce.
Mash. Gravy.
Jacket. Butter, cheese, beans or chilli.
Roast. Got to be cooked in goose fat.
Boiled.. just throw em to the birds.not that they will thank you..

Endless chefs with another recipe on the perfect roast potato.

Bloody Spaniards bringing that muck over here..I’m glad drake sunk your armada..

As blackadder once said people are smoking them, they’ll be eating them next..

Well not for me..
Good luck changing my mind..

Recipe Link.

Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt

youtube

For your amusement or otherwise C.A.

84 thoughts on “Potatoes”

    • I actually agree with you Barry regarding rice and pasta. I can’t abide either no matter what type of sauce/flavours are chucked over it. Haven’t eaten potatoes for ages now even though I love them occasionally. Think now I’m an old cunt that my taste buds are changing. You’re definitely going to get slaughtered on here about the spuds though😂

  2. Boiled, roasted, mashed, fried, sautéed, hashed, dauphinoised…. And probably other ways which I can’t think of at the moment.

    What’s not to like?

    Few other foods are so versatile.

    Only a bender or a woman on a diet would avoid spuds.

    Pull yourself together!

  3. Tasteless? Never!

    I grow Maris Bard in the garden every year and they’re brilliant. They don’t turn to mush when boiled, and they’re excellent baked, fried, roasted or mashed.

    In fact I’m eating a raw one grated on my cornflakes right now.

  4. I’ll never forgive potatoes for not causing quite enough famine in Ireland.

    Their ideal chance to do us all a favour.

    And they fucking blew it.

    The cunts.

    Get To Fuck.

    • Bad joke of the day:

      Q. How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman.

      A. None

      • I went to Ireland for my holidays about 10 years ago the potatoes,in August, were bloody awful, all floury and went to a mush if you cooked them a minute or two too long, not cooked enough or bullet proof if not cooked enough. Mrs. Wanksock loved them but she’s Welsh which explains a lot.

        Good Morning.

  5. The writer of the nom is slagging off pasta too!

    Without spuds or pasta we would have to eat rice all the time with our meals.

    One step closer to becoming Pákífied.

    Perhaps that’s what he is planning.

  6. This nom is offensive on a almost religious angle.

    Potatoes are the only good thing to come out of America bar Rock n Roll.

    Every day of my life as long as I can remember I’ve consumed potato in one form or another.

    I not only rever the humble spud I find it quasi mystical and slightly sexually arousing.

    I’d ban you if I was Admin Barry.

    I can take a joke as much as the next man,
    But this is heresy.

    Your clearly deeply mentally unstable and someone needs to stop you.

    You fuckin chip dodger.🖕

  7. Tell us, Barry, were you fondled by a potato when you were a youngun?

    I can’t imagine why you would have such a grudge against the humble spud, otherwise.

    • I’ve figured it out!

      When he was a youngster, Barrys Dad came home with a young potato that he’d bought from a man in the pub.

      One evening, a few days later, Barry was sat on the rug in front of the fire, playing with his tin soldiers when the slumbering potato, without warning, woke and savegedly attacked the young Barry causing horrific facial injuries.

      Apparently, the potato had been infected by the blight, unbeknownst to Barrys Dad.
      Of course Barrys school friends teased him unmercifully, even the PE teacher called him Waffleface, hence his deep and abiding hatred of potato’s today.

      This is a true story. Fact!

  8. This is so deeply disturbing that I can only assume that the ISAC website has been infiltrated by Yaxley Lennon cleverly disguised as Reinhard Heydrich.

    Quite staggering.

    I’ve contacted the Home Secretary who I know with absolute certainty will know exactly how to deal with this abhorrent hate crime.

    Good morning.

  10. You’ve got to have spuds so the meat stands out as the tasty thing on the plate.

  11. What did your parents say Barry?

    When you ‘ came out’ as a spudophobe?

    There’s things a parent can hear out of the mouths of their kids

    ” I think I’m gay”

    ” I’m I love with a black man”

    That are hard to take but Jesus!
    Nobody could condone this.

    I see myself as a fairly open-minded bloke,

    On ISAC I’m not ruffled by Alan’s appalling communism or Opeys disgusting love for immigrants
    But this?

    Unforgivable.

    This is one of those admissions you need to keep to yourself Barry.
    For your own safety.

    McCains will put out a hit on you.

    • Admin@

      In light of this bombshell at the ISAC Christmas party can you seat Barry as far away from me as possible?

      In fact I don’t want to even look at him, make him sit with his back to me.

      And if he starts his disgusting Karen Carpenter shite and slags of gravy?

      Then you be best to make sure the cutlery is plastic because I’ll plant my fork in his misshapen forehead.

  12. There’s only one potato 🥔 and that’s @baz…think you’ve got a brain cell famine calling the humble spud ….this week I’ll be mostly eating tatties, especially as doing away with them could put Gary ‘i was blick’ linecunt out on his jugs 😩

  13. This nom is beyond the paIe.

    I am surprised the potatoes at Tesco are not protected by those special tags to stop scousers from nicking them. They are clearly the most important and valuable product. King Edwards are the best, obvs. I remember a legendary Sunday lunch when I managed to eat fourteen roast potatoes. Of course, the roast potatoes have to be well browned, crunchy on the outside but fluffy inside. They also have to release lots of lovely fat as you bite into them.

    Mrs Twenty doesn’t allow me to take her to carveries anymore. She says it is embarrassing seeing a plate full of just roast beef, a mountain of roast potatoes, and a few Yorkshire puddings on top. Occasionally I will have some cauliflower cheese but only if it is not overcooked.

    Turning now to puddings, I am partial to anyhting that involves suet and custard. If only potatoes, suet and custard went together a little more readily…

  14. You don’t have to listen to me.
    LISTEN TO THE SCIENCE!

    A one acre field of potato bushes will absorb 4 tons of CO2 EVERY DAY.

    If we eat less spuds then we will have to eat more meat.
    There would have to be more cows.

    A cow fart will produce on average 65 grams of methane.
    A cow will fart up to 40 times EVERY HOUR.
    And that’s just the farts we can hear.

    We don’t know exactly how many silent but violent ‘stealth bombs’ a cow will drop, but it will probably be FOUR TIMES as many as his audible farts.

    That’s the same as building 2 coal fired power stations EVERY HOUR.

    Scientists have calculated that if we stop eating spuds the world will boil and we will all be dead by 16th October…… At about tea time.

    The bastard who wrote this nomination is taking away our future.

    How fucking dare you!

    • Well said AC, a monstrous nomination.

      The science is settled.

      Where is ISAC Verify when you need her?

  15. Pembrokeshire Earlies with butter, they do give you an explosive bout of shits if you eat to many though, Jersey Royals are overrated, and the bogtrotters are shite at growing them, Morning All!

  16. I liked them when you could go to the chippy and get a bag of chips for a tanner.

    FFS, when did going to the chippy become so expensive…!!

  17. This site is the scene of a Far-Right Hate Crime.

    Spanner’s Two-Tier Standing Army will be raiding Admin Towers any time now.

  18. No no no no, whats not to like, a nice dollop of kebab meat over a bed of chips, no ahem special sauce just salt n vinegar. Rostis yum yum, its what you add to the humble spud that makes it superb.

  19. I have yet to discover a vegetable that is so adaptable, convenient, and so universally loved than the humble spud. It can go with anything. As for premiership, may I recommend Zuckercunt the Guernsey and Jersey Potatoe, and a King Edward for versatility and taste.

    It is the cooking, the versatility and the endless applications that put the spud at the very top.

  20. I have yet to discover a vegetable that is so adaptable, convenient, and so universally loved than the humble spud. It can go with anything. As for premiership, may I recommend Zuckercunt the Guernsey and Jersey Potatoe, and a King Edward for versatility and taste.

    It is the cooking, the versatility and the endless applications that put the spud at the very top.

  21. All the greatest meals contain potato.

    Fish n chips
    Sunday roast
    Egg n chips
    Chips n gravy
    Crisp butty
    Potato farls

    It’s what separates us from apes.
    You’d starve to death without potatoes.
    And what would butter go on?
    Rhubarb?

  23. My favourite potato advert has to be the old Smiths crisps, anyone from the 80s/90s remember?

    Peeled spud turns up at the door and all the others still have their skins on. You can’t get into a packet if you haven’t got a jacket.

    • Just checked, it’s on YouTube. Ad would probably fail inclusivity tests these days 🤣

  24. Where’s Barry gone?
    Has he been sectioned?
    If not he should be.
    Love spuds, me.
    Morning all 🌞

      • Those McCain’s oven chips are shite, though.
        That said, nowhere near as bad as Cadburys Smash.
        An insult to potato loving people everywhere. 😠

      • @minge….but you can’t beat the alien ‘actors’ 👽….’they eat them with their metal knives he he he ho ho’ … classic advert 👾🔭 much more entertaining than today’s ‘all inclusive one’s’ 😴

  25. Po tat o the song of the Shovelhead.
    The food of paupers and kings.

    Barry lay off the fucking lentils mate, they ain’t doing you no good.

  26. Ive heard of Barry’s abnormal medical condition once before.

    It’d of been around 1978?
    Us kids getting ready for the annual Stockport Potato Parade,
    One quiet, odd little boy said

    ” I don’t like potatoes”
    It took the teacher 10 minutes to get the classroom back under control.
    He sent the boy to the headmaster for the cane for scaring the other kids.

    But the laughter turned to hate when we realised he was serious

    He really didn’t like spuds!!!

    We tried everything,
    Regular light Bullying
    The school dinner ladies would mash spuds into his food worried about his health.
    Wed throw stones at his windows in encouragement.

    My dad wouldn’t let me play with him, said he was probably a commie or hermaphrodite.

    I the end the family had to leave the estate with a police escort.

    The whole estate turned up to see them on their way.
    Grim faces holding pitchforks and burning brands.

    As the police car came past the tearful little face of the boy looked straight at me.
    And he tentatively raised a small hand in a wave goodbye.🙁

    I stick 2 fingers up at him.

    Little fuckin freak.

  27. I agree with you all about the potato in all its forms, but in moderation. Can’t stand a big fat gut. Its not healthy.

  28. Fucking hell Barry, you would have got less shit if you admitted you were a P*ki taxi driver on an all girls school run.

    Chicken curry (home made) and basmati rice for me tonight.

  29. Mrs CuntyMort gave me an epic bollocking for once growing 100 potato plants which she and a neighbour gave me as spuds had started sprouting eyes. Mind you no complaints when she and neighbour did not have to buy spuds for three months.
    Barry just try a spud fresh out of the ground boiled with butter and parsley. Or a tag end of beef with king edwards, food of the gods.

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