Olive Oil Price Hikes Fuelled by Climate Change

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Olive oil, the stuff posh cunts fry their chips in.

According to the article, there’s been a rise in snide olive oil, and extra virgin olive oil sales. Who’d a thunk it?
Just goes to show that there’s nothing sacred at all.

The cost of olive oil has, again according to the article, increased by 25% over the last five years! Gasps, and falls back, clutching pearls!
Please, show me anything that hasn’t increased in price by less than 25%!

Anyway, the point of this cunting, is that the writers of the article have shoehorned climate change, climate crisis and global warming into the narrative at least six times.

Grauniad

Why the fuck can’t they use beef dripping to fry chips, like what us civilised people do?

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

71 thoughts on “Olive Oil Price Hikes Fuelled by Climate Change”

  3. They were blaming it on brexit until I pointed out to the BBC that there’s no import duty on any olive oil from the EU. They still ran the article for days until I threatened to take it further and copied in several brexit friendly MPs. Now a new lie has replaced it.

    I got back from Crete yesterday. They are reporting an excellent olive harvest.

    • I went to Greece last October on a wine tasting tour. Great piss-up.
      Anyway they grow Olive trees wherever there are vineyards. We were told that throughout Europe there had been late frosts, in May, and therefore last year’s harvest would be reduced by 30/40%, hence the high prices. One of the winemakers/olive oil farmer was a former chemical engineer who had trained at Manchester university. One of the things that he had been taught to do was to keep accurate records and he had been doing so for 30 years, recording temperature and rainfall. Amazingly his father and grandfather had b been doing the same since the mid-1950s and you could have heard a pin drop, and not a little animosity from the others on our tour who were all Londoners, when he said there had been absolutely no change in weather conditions from the beginning of their records until now.

  4. ‘…extreme weather caused by the climate crisis…’

    The science is settled.
    As is blind, unquestioning observance of climate ideology by the Grauniad.

    Put a different record on you wankers, this one’s got a crack in it.

  5. I live in the biggest olive growing province in the world, Jaén in Spain. Last year’s harvest was lower as there was no rain. This year we had a lot of spring rain and the crops round here looks much better so prices may drop but don’t hold your breath as climate change will be used to keep price up. It is very expensive here and it’s produced on my doorstep so no different for the locals. Don’t fry your chips in it though.

      • My culinary expert Chris (the wife) informs me that the problem with olive oil is that it starts to break down at a lower temperature than alternatives and when it does so some of the products are known carcinogens. Any indication of starting to foam safest thing is to bin it.

  6. So the excuse is climate change..
    Literally Googled olive trees and found this.

    “Olive trees are incredibly adaptable and can cope well with intense sunlight, frost, drought and even fire.”

    So terry could grow olives in his oven..

    As for olive oil fraud, I always thought she was a bloke, she has a chest like pixie balls.. poor popeye.

    • Hey Barry,

      That’s an extremely insensitive remark! She’s a person and should not be judged by her looks alone.

      Besides, I heard she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

  7. Here’s how I feel about olive oil prices going up because of climate change:

    FUCK YOU!!!

    On to the next crisis…

    • Lest I be misunderstood, that is directed at the Climate Loons, the price gougers and the fraudsters.

  8. Olive oil is used as a dressing and not to fry stuff in.
    It would make your fry up taste fucking horrible.

    There are lots of different types of olive oil.
    Some types are horrendously expensive.

    Unless you buy from a proper deli in the UK then what you are getting from the supermarkets is shit.

    Here it is classed as ‘lampante’, not fit for sale but OK to use for a lamp.
    Then a very small amount of extra virgin or virgin oil is added and it’s good enough for export and to be labelled either virgin or extra virgin.

    The olive oil that we have in cruets on bar tables is much better than the crap sold in the UK.
    We use it instead of butter.

    • You can get “Extra Virgin” Olive Oil – obviously not if you are Angela Rayner…..

    • Shite brands like Berio or Napolito wouldn’t even grace my camping lanterns tbh.Useful as an …erm domestic lubricant (stubborn jar lids you filthy minded reprobates) but not going anywhere near my scran for sure.

  11. Beef dtipping?
    Christ, I wouldn’t even give that to my dog. Is Jeezum a Just Stop Olive Oil protestor?

    Use Rapeseed. At least it’s English.

  14. Dripping/ Lard for chips
    Meat cook slowly so it cooks in its own fats juices
    And olive oil for fish 🐠 and
    Salads
    Simple really.
    Climate crisis, do please fuck off

  15. I noticed how expensive olive oil was in Aldi.
    Christ!

    Some egghead twat on TV was saying that rapeseed oil is really good for you?
    To prove this he was talking to a farmer who had a massive field full of rapeseed.
    Surprisingly the farmer agreed.

    “Oh yes, it’s very good for you”

    Don’t see why he’d lie?
    Anyway they can moisten their arses with it.

    I like lard.

  16. As Artful cunter says above olive oils a dressing.
    Not for frying.

    I don’t like oily salad
    I don’t particularly like salad.
    Eat it under duress.

    Vinegar is the thing!
    Romans would of told you that.
    A tasty condiment for fish and chips, a cleaning product,
    And a treatment for bites and wounds.

    * This post was brought to you by the Sarsons vinegar company

    • Ps

      The Romans washed their arses in vinegar.
      True.

      If you go to Hadrian’s ( hairdressers name) wall there’s little sentry posts that the Romans used to watch for the Scots attacking.

      On them are little recepticles,
      They’d fill it full of vinegar and a sponge for wiping their arses.

      Tony Robinson can’t tell me a fuckin thing about Romans I should have his job.

      • Exactly.
        Vinegar to wash your arse with and a sponge on a stick to apply it.

        Roman for arse sponge?
        Tersorium.

        You’re welcome.

      • Didn’t the Romans also prank Lord Jesus on the cross when he asked for a glass of water?

        They offered him vinegar on a sponge. When Jesus realised what they had done he burst out laughing.

        You have to see the funny side of crucifixition.

      • What?
        Outrageous!!!!

        It was always a Manchester made product, Middleton,
        Just looked ,
        Mizkan company now own it,
        But says they’re Japs rather than chinks.

        Still made in Middleton under the beady eye of some fuckin Mr Miyagi.

  17. I noticed in Tesco the price of a little bottle of extra virgin olive oil was £18 for 250ml and has anti theft tags on.

    The fully synthetic 10W50 racing oil that goes in my sporty little Italian motor is £28 for two litres.

    Someone is taking the piss

  19. Surely the Far Right have had a hand in the olive oil price hike too, no?

    Anyway, what cunt fries chips in olive oil? Go lard or go home.

    • As a curious aside;

      The International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC), a neutral humanitarian organisation set up after the Geneva Conventions of 1949 states that that prisoners or war “must be treated with dignity, and not exposed to public curiosity – like circulating images on social media”.

      I’m comparing apples and oranges I know, but the British government has been one of those that stuck to this principle on humanitarian grounds and was alway highly critical of those that did not.

      It is more than a little disturbing to see the national press so ghoulish about this, but we all know why.

      Occasionally you’d see the faces of some child rapists on the Beeb in an article buried under the local news sections, several years after the event and then only for a day or two.

      Unsettling.

  22. Greedy cunts. I was talking to one of my workers today about how she was on the phone to sky long after she had cancelled everything and were still taking money the fuckers, anyhoo, in the phone queue the message said ” due to the weather you are number 52 in the queue”. I didnt realise sunshine affected telecoms. What the fuck are these cunts on.

  23. The whole cooking and food preparation thing is a mystery to me I’m afraid. My wife was trained in the art by a professional chef, a Frenchman, for a couple of years in the early seventies and as a result I’ve never needed or bothered to learn. The kids reckon if she predeceases me I’ll go down with scurvy. She describes herself as a “seventies cook” who cooks for taste not the latest health fad. As she points out these things change with fashion anyway. Things which once were rated as rank poison are regarded as essential to life a few years later and vice versa. Since retiring I do the shopping and most of my exercise is gained walking round and round Tesco’s looking for the stuff on the detailed list she has given me.

  24. Last breakfasts bacon fat and butter for fry ups.
    50%40%10% lard, beef dripping and mutton dripping for chips.
    Duck fat for roast veg and home made Chinese.
    Butter for home made Indian.
    Suet and butter for baking.
    Olive oil for ear infections.

  25. Olive oil is bender food. That’s why it’s used in fairy cakes, puff pastry and Camp coffee.

    • Too true Geordie.

      Most of these chefs are sausage fondlers.

      I once got asked by one in a restaurant if I wanted coq au van?

      Obviously I reported him to the police.

      • He probably spotted you getting out of your van, Mis.

        He must have got the wrong idea about you when he saw your registration number was GAY 69.

      • It was all that busted mattress he was fly tipping Geordie, this bloke can party they thought.

  26. This is what deserves reporting and analysis? Maybe the recent riots were actually caused by climate change? Time to lock everyone in their homes? If you do riot your home will be taken off you and given to an asylum seeker?

    Fucking olive oil? How much of that goes in tax?

    Cunts

  27. The only change that is obvious to me and. my gang re climate change is an increase in the number of twats.

  28. When I was a kid, olive oil was only used for shifting hardened earwax.
    Good morning.

  29. An article by cunts for cunts.

    Fuck off with your gay bullshit you soy gender bender arsewipes.

    Good morning.

    • So, this asks the oily question,
      What’s better?

      Virgin or rape?

      Not so fast Cuntengine!!

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