Sam Carling M.P.

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An ever-so-gentle nursery cunting for 22 year old Labour M.P (what else!) Sam Carling, a funny haired little geek, who was born in April 2002. His youth does not in any way shrink his big head. The one thing he doesn’t lack is self confidence. He claims, as he minces the mean streets of Cambridgeshire that he has “the skills and experience(!) to run a campaign for change”. Well, to be fair, he DID save local bus services.

Seriously how can a kid still in education (“uni” of course) have the life skills to be a politician, or anything rather than a washer-up at Nandos. Do you want fries with that?

I suspect life will not be very kind at Westminster – Keir Mather the previous baby of the house will be furious, now old man Streeting will scratch his eyes out (nobody loves a fairy when he’s 40), but I am sure Mandy will be delighted to take him in hand, and no doubt Bryant will give him spiritual replenishment. And possibly a bumming.

Sam Carling Website

Yahoo News

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Additional News Link Provided by: PT Admin

78 thoughts on “Sam Carling M.P.”

  1. A real life Beavis.
    I’ve never seen anyone who looks like more of a twat.
    What’s the betting that this bell end’s Mum still dresses him and makes his packed lunch?
    I was watching a 70’s pọrn the other day (Color Climax – class!) and a bird had a very large, untamed blond bush that looked like this fuckwit’s hair!

    • He looks a bit like James Charles Harries that weird child prodigy and antiques expert from the late 80’s and early 90’s who was on W*gan and Oprah , and then became Lauren Charlotte Harries.

      Morning Cunt Engine/all.

      • Exactly what I thought!

        He’d better pray he doesn’t go bald, what a sight, he’d scare small children and horses.

      • He’d soon get interest from the black helicopters and G-Men.

        ‘Entity spotted… It’s wearing a red rosette, sir.’

    • I suspect mummy will have a great career of her own in the next few years – advertising washing powder: “When my boy Sam comes home at weekends I find only new Improved Bold gets the skid marks out of the back of his underpants – and piss stains? – they are a doddle”

      Just imagine Sam getting together with AnalEase and producing a love child!. Horror films would,be back in production……

    • Colour Climax, there’s a memory… I seem to recall Rodox as well…. Before Paul Raymond publishing cornered the market, ahem.

  3. Twenty fucking two? He looks more like fifty two.

    He can start his ‘campaign for change’ by getting the fatty behind him to change her dietician and get some blubber off, the fucking munter.

  4. Never heard of him.
    But he is obviously a cunt.

    Anyone with MP after their name is a cunt.

    I don’t think that lack of experience or common sense will hold him back.
    It’s not like older MP’s have any experience or common sense either.

    He is just another fucking clown in the circus.

  6. Just were we left off. Here comes along yet another wet behind rusty bollocks, who won’t make an apeth of difference until laws are changed at the top, for the individual vote to count. That’s the sole reason why we used to traipse off to the polling stations in the first place.

  7. It’s a cross between the Mekong and the Aliens from ‘Mars Attacks’.

    This thing, with no real world experience whatsoever can now vote on legislation that will impact how I live my daily life. Like the rest of them in the cesspit of parliament.

    I see that other cunt Zelenski has been sucking the cock of our so called PM too. They are shit scared the Donald in coming back in the autumn and are desperately trying to mitigate the damage….. probably by poking Vlad some more.

    They can all get to fuck. Bunch of filth.

  8. FAO: CuntemAll.
    Your pieman’s wig answer is in previous dead pool mate

  9. A minor cunt with plenty of opportunity to become a Galactic Gold Plated Fully Expensed Cunt in short order..

    Just like his 649 chums in the HoC.

    A rare sunny day,an unfortunately very common Westminster Cunt.

    Good morning.

  10. Yes, he may look like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead, but, as stated, he did save local buses, and we need more young politicians to revitalise politics – also, it hopefully means we wont end up with the horrendous “Best of the worst” Scenario that is currently unfolding in the USA…

    • Good point.

      We’re quick to take the piss when it comes to Biden and other assorted doddery fuckers, but then when young blood steps up to the plate we still aren’t happy.

      Goldilocks syndrome eh?

  11. I’m sure he’ll bring a fresh, invigorating approach to the House. For a couple of weeks. Until The Blob does its beastly work.

    Morning all.

  12. The one thing this swot can do to make an immediate impression, is throw a hand grenade into the Houses of Parliament at question time.

  13. This grotesque little fairy is going to get one big fuck-off wake up call in the not too distant future.
    Go to your room this instant, silly boy

  14. He’s a bit like that actor who played Dougie Howser, MD.

    Irritating and a Poo-pusher.

    • How many times in the first month do you think he will be asked if he is lost from a school outing to the Houses of Parliament, Mags?

      • He’d likelier be asked whether he was there as a rent boy for one of the older Labour MPs.

        “Hello Mr.Mandelson, your 2 o’clock has arrived.”

  15. he is positively geriactric compared to labours proposal to give the vote to fucking stupid 16 and 17 year olds

  16. That is one seriously fugly freak.

    Looking on the bright side, the chances of it reproducing are pretty much zero.

    It clearly uses its face and personality as birth control.

    • I suspect nigh on impossible for him to reproduce as he appears to like shoving his cock up blokes shitty hairy arses.

      • I’m assured that his kind reproduce via cloning in the subterranean facilities of Area 51.

  18. Send him to Harehills.

    See if he can talk his party’s favourite pet demographic into behaving like actual human beings instead of the in bred cunts that they are.

    • Shithole, mustard gas would sort it out.

      Ooops, sorry I should have said ‘diversity is our strength’, what sort of fucking vermin kick off when social services are trying to safeguard kids.

      Looks like there was some monkey action in Whitechapel as well 😂

    • From the judge;

      ‘I acknowledge that at least some of the concerns motivating you are, at least to some extent, shared by many, but the plain fact is that each of you has some time ago crossed the line from concerned campaigner to fanatic. You have appointed yourselves as the sole arbiters of what should be done about climate change, bound neither by the principles of democracy nor the rule of law, and your fanaticism makes you entirely heedless of the rights of your fellow citizens. You have taken it upon yourselves to decide that your fellow citizens must suffer disruption and harm, and how much disruption and harm they must suffer, simply so that you may parade your views.’

      Hallam sentenced to 5. The others sentenced to 4 each.

      Lucia Whittaker de Abreu said The planet’s life support system is breaking down, whether you believe it or not.

      I’d just reply with, ‘explaaaainnn’ and let her make a fool of herself, the arrogant plummy cunt.

    • Hard on rioting, hard on the causes of rioting

      Don’t forget your Octonauts lunchbox, Sam.

  21. If Sam is Baby of the House does he suck on Mother of the House, Diane Abbotts flabby tits?

    • Stella Creasy is the Commons breastfeeder. Or at least a common breastfeeder – you can imagine her helping out on Rachel Reeves fruit and veg stall in Petticoat Lane market. Poor old Diane would suffocate the little bleeder.

  22. Quite surprised that he is a liebour m.p. he looks a shoe in for the limp dums or greens ….looks a bit like Chris Evans, another ginger goof 🧐

    • I’m so pleased Evan’s isn’t on the box or radio (that I tune in to) I don’t miss the unfunny talentless up himself twat one bit.

  23. Proper politician this boy. Found himself a well paid job straight out of education, solid pension, second home.

    Bound to get targeted by Russian honey traps so he’s going to lose his virginity soon.

    This boy is not a cunt, he’s a nerd legend!

  24. Why’s he dressed like Donald and Davey Stott?

    I’ve undercrackers older than this little spunk bubble.

    He should concentrate on getting a girlfriend rather than acting like Big issue Tony Blair.

    Get yer hair cut you fuckin woolly back.
    Look like a Hottentot.

  26. Head of a Talosian from Star Trek.
    Face of Donald Tusk.

    22? looks a good 20 years older at least.

    Maybe he came across the channel with those bearded schoolkids.

  27. Looks like he could be useful if your u-bend is blocked.
    ‘Change’? Funny how it’s never for the better.

  28. I don’t listen to young people.

    They can fuck off.

    Nothing they can say that’d interest me.

    I don’t care about your Pokémon cards, your pronouns or want to see your selfies.

    This woolly headed virgin knocked at my door?

    I’d make him come in and wash the pots then give him a swift kick up the arse and chuck him out.

    Get a proper job son
    Politicians a puffs job.

  29. I imagine Rayner uses his head as a dildo, probably the only thing that could plug that cavern..

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