Carol Vorderman (9)

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I used to have a soft spot (well, actually not so soft if I’m honest) for Carol. She always struck me as a proper lass, someone you could have a drink, a flirt and a laugh with down the pub.

This last year or so however, she seems to have mutated into a ranting gobshite masquerading as a ‘political commentor’. It’s not an attractive sight, and it’s pretty boring to boot.

Of course you’re entitled to your opinion ducks, but honestly, your political ‘insights’ are shallow and your demeanour is both unpleasant and vindictive. Do us all a favour love, and stick to doing what you do best; that’s flashing your arse for the tabloids instead of talking out of it.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

71 thoughts on “Carol Vorderman (9)”

  1. Nothing but a secondhand plastic calculator, you can get a new one from China for a quid..

    I think she was looking for some sort of advisory role with labour..
    But labour is chock full of demented hags.. so she will have to wait for a opening.

  2. To be fair that’s not a bad photo to start the day with.

    Anyway Carol would be far better off going back to selling highly inappropriate financial products on the telly.

    Leave politics to another set of fucking clowns.

    Good morning.

  3. She used to be just a mousey little maths geek.
    Now she’s a fully fledged plastic surgery mess with Marxist politics!!

    Look luv , you let a bit of attention go to your head.
    Calm down.
    Act you’re age,
    And stop with the surgery you look like off cuts from Frankensteins lab.

  5. Plastic face, plastic tits, plastic arse.

    I wonder what her cunt’s made out of.

  6. “Oh Carol you are but a fool
    Darling I hate you, your a proper tool
    I wouldn’t want you for a sweetheart you’ve been about to much
    Your knickers smell of haddock
    You’ve got a saggy crutch ”
    Apologies to Niel Sedaka

  7. Our carol’s signed a pact with the devil. If her sticky out bits were given an uplift, she’d become a silly tart like the rest and her knowledge of intelligence would dwindle away, the more plasma intake she’s given.

  8. Another champagne socialist looking down on the plebs. Fake tits. Fake concern.

  9. This old spunk bucket is addicted to attention because she was starved of it when younger.

    When she was a flat chested , cardigan wearing , plain Jane nobody ever looked at her.

    Goes on some quiz show adding up gets a compliment,
    Goes on a full ‘ Look at me! Look at me!’ attention seeking rampage.

    Confiscate her placcy tits and put her in a old people’s home.

    • Once you have been on the telly the attention becomes addictive, you do everything you can to keep on it.

  11. I like archeology, digging stuff up from the past and displaying it for the future generations. It’s unfortunate this piece has been badly restored with materials that were never there originally.

    • Yuk, fucking double Jabba to start the day. What a fucking sight.
      She didn’t lift a finger when Lenny build Stonehenge?

      • A Jabba and a female Harvey Price.
        No wonder they make an effort to keep her out of the public eye

    • That daughter is a complete fucking head case shes on probation as I know the officer involved some poor bloke has had to leave /cornwall because of this weird’os obsession despite restraining orders etc…

    • The daughter looks like a right biffer. A real oddity. Look at its hairline.

      No wonder it ended up in trouble with the police.

  14. This hypocritical old cunt is so dim she can’t even see that her adverts for conning old people into “equity release” are part of the world of capitalism she professes to hate so much. She dresses like a tart, cackles like a witch and is merely extending her 15 minutes of fame, because now that Richard Whitely is no longer around to give her a good nobbing, the best she can hope for is David Blunkett. Night starvation – that’s her problem. She should do something useful with her life – perhaps become a prison visitor to one of those ex Met policemen rapists. They might do her a favour and give her what she wants.

    • Didn’t some insurance company also use her to flog life insurance to coffin dodgers as well? (‘apply and get a free pen!’).

  15. She looks OK from a distance and slightly better when you have your beer goggles on.
    The picture in the nom has been through a photoshop filter to give the best illusion of her tits.

    Close up and with her kit off she will look dreadful.

    The huge scars running down and under her tits from the lifting procedures.
    The scar at the top of her arse crack where the butt fillers were put in.

    Probably an enormous cut around her waist for a tummy tuck.
    Without her make up on you would be able to see where the surgeon has lifted her face several times and inserted the cheek implants.

    If she misses her monthly botox appointment then her cheeks will look even more ridiculous on a woman of her age.

    Plasic surgery is generally not permanent.
    This is ongoing work.

    Her tits and arse will need doing again within a few years.
    She will need a series of face lifts as time goes on.
    Her neck will need re-tightening, her arms and hands will need work so as not to look out of place.

    All these things can be done…… At a price.

    She is going down a plastic surgery road that it will be hard to turn back from.

    I hope to still be around for another nom about her in 10, year’s time.
    She will look even more fucking ridiculous.

    • She’d have been better to have learnt to walk on her hands and everything would fall into place. All she needed to do is talk through her arse and wink from her cunt.

    • On closer inspection not only has her body been drastically changed through plastic surgery but also the photo has had more than just the see-through clothes photoshop filter.

      On her right side (left as we look at her) the bottom rail of the staircase to does not line up exactly.
      It does however line up with her belt.

      Whoever manipulated the photo has taken a few inches off her gut.

      • If you enlarge the picture Artful, you will read bottom left. Celebrity Fakes 4U.com.

  16. The brain in the old noggin gets confused, when other parts of the body are tampered with and appears none related, when all it wants is to grow old gracefully.

  17. Thanks for reminding me that this nauseous mutant hag was still alive.

  18. Ashamed as I am say it, but I still would entertain her in my love dungeon.
    But more out of spite than lust.

    • I can only imagine what it would look like after a few weeks of starvation in your dungeon.

      All withered up but with the same size arse, tits and cheeks.

  19. At least Thomas, one could have a decent conversation with her, than you can say with most other trollops.

  21. Thanks Ron,
    Just what we need. I’m fed up with boring old politics we can’t put right, due to everyone concerned being on the fiddle.

  22. I know her problem, she needs some good dick, that’ll tone her down a bit and I’d be happy to oblige.

    She may be a bit dusty down there, but you don’t have to look at the mantlepiece while stoking the fire.

  23. If she’d been confined to soshul meeja after her BBC sacking, that would’ve been that,
    But cunts like LBC keep giving these washed up celebs a platform to air their Marxist bollocks.
    At one time it was flotsam and jetsam loudly proclaiming their allegiance to football clubs and hence gaining an alternative career (see David Mellor, Adrian Chiles etc) which saw them gifted football phone in shows and free match tickets.
    Now it’s the done thing to loudly proclaim their political views, and the more divergent from the general public view the better.
    Stick to shagging your way around the celebrity circuit love.

  24. I bet she’s got a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome as well.

    To be honest (don’t shoot me down guys, I can’t help myself) I still would. I’d have to gag her first though. And restrain her…

    Oh dear.

    Morning all.

  26. The very epitome of mutton dressed as lamb.
    Looks like she’s on her way to a Halloween party.
    Typical narcissist, Carol ticks all the boxes:
    1. Silicone beef-ups ✅
    2. Brazilian arse lift, abdominoplasty ✅
    3. Cheek implants, botox and fillers every 6 months ✅
    4. OnlyFans regular ✅
    5. Exaggerated sense of self importance and big mates with James O’Brien ✅
    Fuck them.

  27. Chipmunk. She stores nuts in her cheeks.

    Been ploughed more times than a field.

  28. She is a twatter headbanger, Any tory sleaze or bad behaviour she was screaming like a harpy..

    But not heard a peep about the forgetful pàķi who just remembered the house she was renting out. Or that disrespectful cunt Clive Lewis.
    Strange that..maybe she melted in the recent heatwave?

    • She’s one of those people who needs to stay off Twatter.

      i.e. everyone.

      • I think it’s fair to say that she probably attaches more importance to her own opinions and to the sound of her own voice than just about anybody else does.

  30. I’m afraid i probably would hang out the back of it while playing with her knockers. Rather her than a host of younger slappers who look worse have no mind at all.

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