Dog Obsessives

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Dog obsessives are cunts.

Now, I don’t mean normal, responsible dog owners who train their mutt, exercise it, pick up its shit, obey lead laws etc. I’m on about the people who are so in love with dogs that they see any criticism, or any rule regarding their ownership, as an infringement on their yewman rights.

The people who refuse to train their dog to behave properly because ‘rules are cruel.’ The people who seem to believe that the world is made exclusively for them and their pet, and that they have the right to take it anywhere and everywhere. The people who post endless photos of their pooch on soshul meeja, and make it their entire personality. The people who think that those with a phobia or allergies should just ‘get over it’ or go somewhere else. The people who believe the ‘no such thing as a bad dog’ horseshit and refuse to recognise genetic differences between breeds.

The people who have so little regard for others that they won’t even bag and bin the shit after their dog does its business… you get the picture. These people are vermin. They are a cancer to society. And, worryingly, they are often the sort who are too lazy and/or incompetent to even own a dog in the first place.

Proper licensing is needed urgently.
(To be fair, you could easily swap dog for kid – NA)

RD.com Link.
(It’s older and American-centric but the most relevant one I can find. Unfortunately the media doesn’t discuss poor ownership enough).

Nominated by : OpinionatedCunt

79 thoughts on “Dog Obsessives”

  1. Just as long as the licence fee is more than the thirty seven and a half pence when I last had one.

    • I know somebody who’s so anti-dog that they think that owners should have to pass a proficiency test then wear a licence plate when outside with the hound, not to mention have insurance against their dog attacking anyone (to be fair she was once badly bitten, by a very aggressive little Jack Russell).

      Afternoon all.

      • Proficiency tests are no bad thing. Why should just anyone be able to buy a dog when they might not be able to look after it properly? Ditto insurance – it would create an incentive to practice good ownership.

      • I was bitten by a Jack Russell on the back of my thigh when i was about 5. I’ve hated the yappy little bastards ever since

  2. Solid cunting.

    Occasionally you get a dog that’s a cunt by nature but the vast majority of the time its owner related.

    Dogs take a lot of work to get the best from them. We have a problem with cunts who have no business owning a dog going out and getting a dog because they think it makes them look hard. The dog then goes and eats a kid, family member or innocent bystander purely because it’s not been trained or worse still been trained to be aggressive.

    Certain breeds become popular with brain dead cunts and the breed ends up being blanket banned. Good dogs get destroyed through no fault of their own.

    Maybe a cull in hood rats and middle aged wanna be gangsters would reduce dog problems and a shit load of other issues we have in our society.

    • I’ve seen those middle-aged gangsters. they wear Lacoste and Ralph Lauren shirts with popped collars and flat caps.

  3. I cannot for the life of me understand why people bag up their dog shit and then leave it dangling in a tree, fence or bush.

    • One of my pet hates, that, HJ.

      I’d rather they just leave the turds on the verge, or wherever, because at least it will eventually bio-degrade.

      Of course, I’d much rather people bagged and disposed of it properly, but that would involve being a responsible owner, and taking responsibility seems to be an impossible things these days for many people.

      • Petrified dog turds?

        I haven’t seen one since I were a lad.

        One for Baz’s nostalgia nom….

      • Someone told me white turds were poodle shit Ron.
        I must confess the subject matter didn’t rouse enough interest to discover the truth.

      • Fuck sake 😂.

        I haven’t seen one of them since I was taking my GCSE’s.

        World is full of turd burglars now.

  4. The ones who dress dogs in clothes and have poodles trimmed similar to their garden edges, need to be pitied more than anything.

  5. Or the ones who don’t train their dog and it sits out in the yard yapping at every sound. Every. Fucking. Sound.
    Enjoy the sunshine folks!

    • Yes there’s one of them near me.

      The fucking piece of shit sounds like it has throat cancer from bleeding non stop.

      The 4 legged cunt.

      • Bleeting*

        I wish it bled as often as it barked. The POS would have expired affyer 2 days.

  6. I get to see loads of dogs in my work and their owners too. Some are great and respect you and the work you do others are cunts.

    One I no longer work for was obsessed with her dogs, about five or six dachshunds, bred them and showed them at Crufts. There is no excuse for not clearing up after your dog, I add on an extra £10 every time they ‘forget’ to clear up.

    I came across this video recently, as there are cunters on here who are tradesmen, what would you all do? I wouldn’t have even took on the job myself. They should be on the beach at Dover, not in some cunts garden.

    YouTube

    • I’d of sent my labourer in first LL.

      If they maul him it’d give me time to sprint to the van,
      Where I can film the attack from safety.

    • He sounds like a pussy. What kind of tradesman can’t pacify two insane Rottweilers?

      That’s why i keep a dinghy rider on a lead in the back of the van.

  7. “People who flaunt these rules…..”

    I hope Ruth MacPete is more skilled in veterinary medicine than she is in English.

  8. I don’t mind most breeds of dog, but only really like the breeds derived from the Mastiff. Anything smaller than a pug or border terrier ceases to be a dog and enters thevrealm kf rodent.

    My mum used to volunteer at a local rescue centre and i would visit the poor creatures occassionally. The Facebook page set up for it was full of people who used the dogs for status though, and as soon as things would get tough – say they found the vet’s bill cost them a holiday in Benidorm one year – you knew they’d want to drop the pooch off for rehoming, usually after the breed’s popularity soared then crashed because of a fucking TV programme.

    Fucking chavs.

    I agree with licences for dog ownership, as well as raising children.

  9. Did I mention I’ve got a dog?😁

    Well I have.
    It’s well trained, and ALWAYS on a harness and lead.

    People are always asking,
    Is my dog friendly?
    To which I firmly say
    “No”.

    Because they mean can I mither your dog and touch it ,
    I expect it’ll love to be pawed by a perfect stranger.

    Same with me, keep your hands to yourself, stop mithering me and fuck off.

    • Can’t agree 100% Mis, it depends on who’s got their paws on me. When I had my cardiac event and was blue-lighted to hospital I was laid on the table and two young nurses stripped my clothes off me in a moment, one at my head removed my top and the other removed my jeans and undercrackers in one swift movement. They left my socks on. In different circumstances I could have quite enjoyed the experience.

  10. Pets are part of the family, I would rather see a picture of a nice dog than a fucking brat but even better a cute cat.

    Kid obsessives are the worst, not the fiddling kind 😂

    • Thousands of years they’ve been loyal to us.

      Served in wars
      Helped the blind
      Sniffed out guns, explosives, drugs
      Herded and protected livestock

      Truly man’s best friend 👍

      Id feel adrift without a dog around.
      I prefer them to people.

      A dog will warn you of prowlers,
      Protect your property
      Protect your family

      Anyone says different is clearly a communist in the service of the cat population.

      Chairman Miao.

      • Dogs have been friends to humans at least ten thousand years before farming and even villages were invented, when we still followed herds.

        Cats are much more recently adopted, by the Egyptians some 3,500 years ago. They are barely tame.

  11. It’s the air of entitlement and total lack of respect and consideration of dog owners which really boils my piss.

    Where we live, everyone has some acreage and people’s property boundaries are not fenced off. So one plot just flows into the next. I don’t care for it at all because of things like this. Next door is a retired couple who own a dog. When they let their dog out to relieve itself, they don’t supervise it. Oh no. They just let it roam around wherever it likes. What happens? Yep, it pisses and shits on MY property.

    Now the dog doesn’t know it’s crossed a property boundary, but the owners do. Knowing there’s no fence, do you think they’d be responsible enough to ensure we’re not impacted by them having a dog? No, of course not. We’re just expected to put up with it. I take the view, if I don’t have a dog I should be able to stroll around every fucking inch of my property without running the risk of stepping in dog shit. I’m willing to bet my left bollock if I strolled over to their front lawn, dropped my trousers and took a dump on their grass, they’d have a problem with that. But if a dog does it, that’s OK apparently.

    Utter bloody cunts.

    They’re as thick as pig shit too. The bloke (nickname Fireman Sam) bought himself one of those zero turn ride on mower contraptions. Loud as fuck naturally. My wife and I work from home and after a busy week want nothing more than some well earned downtime and some peace and quiet to enjoy our Friday evenings. Yep, you guessed it. 7:15 or so on a Friday evening, Fireman Sam fires up the mower and treats us to that fucking noise for an hour or so. He’s retired. He’s had ALL FUCKING DAY to mow his lawn, but no. He leaves it until the workers are resting, then decides to create his cacophony.

    Utter utter bastard scum filth of Satan’s ring piece. Death is too good for some people.

    • I hear you Yank,
      Just to position myself, I have no time for any dog unless it is a real working dog (seeing, hearing, farm dog, police etc).
      I know there are “some” responsible dog owners, but I have always thought that when someone says they are taking the dog for a walk, what they really mean is they are taking the dog out to shit on someone else’s property – even if it is council land.

      • Well you observed, Cassandra. It’s always puzzled me why dogs only appear to want to ‘walk’ first thing in the morning or at dusk. It’s lucky that most dogs have obliging owners who also feel inclined to walk with them at the same inconvenient times when selfish bastards like me are either still in bed or having a beer watching the telly.

    • I think that sums it all up perfectly.

      By the way,can’t you entice the lawnmowing cunt to trespass on your property so you can blow his head off?

      Or buy a St Bernard,feed it on pies and fish curry and let it shit on the cunts lawn.

      Anyhow,nice to see you Mr IY,fuck them all.

      • That’s a good call, Unkle. It’s not like I’m unarmed. Could make for a fun real life video game. He’s on his mower, back and forth along the property line dodging in between the trees and I’ve got 30 seconds to plug the cunt with a .357.

        Maybe I could sell tickets for the spectacle in the neighbourhood. Nah, best not. I hate everyone and they can all fuck off. Don’t get me started on the git who lives the other side. Fucking leaf blower blowing snow off his path this past winter at 7AM. He’ll never know how close he came to meeting my friends, Smith & Wesson. Cunt.

    • I’ve thrown shit back, Yank. Nobody said anything to me and it’s a good job they didn’t because I was ready for the particular cunts who were responsible.

      • Funny you should suggest that, Isabel. The last time I spotted 2 piles and went back in the house to rant about it to Mrs. Yank. Bless her tortured soul, she retrieved a little shovel from the garage, went out to the piles, scooped and flung the turds back onto the neighbours’ land. Job done. As it were.

        I don’t think the message got across though. We still see their dog sniffing around our land, but make a point of shooing it away. As much as I want to fill the mutt with lead, it’s not the dog’s fault.

    • What I pick up on in your post IY is the fact that this guy is retired. I’ve been retired four years now and these selfish, inconsiderate bastards really piss me off. Apart from avoiding making a noise in the garden when folks working for a living are spending the precious hours they have to themselves out there I also schedule shopping, doctor’s appointments etc. at a time when they are at work. This is not just being polite, it’s fucking common sense in my book. The only reason my pension has any value is because the folks working are producing the goods and services I want to buy. A classic example of the mentality of these up-their-own-arse curmudgeons is that recently a bunch of them have been campaigning to have their bus passes which allow them free travel, to be valid all the time not just after 9:30am. FFS why?

      • Exactly arfur.

        I’d love to know where the hell they’re going that’s so great they need to set off before 9:30.

      • You are spot on, arfur. And I thank you for being THAT considerate.

        I remember years ago when I worked in London, a quick trip to the bank (they used to close at 3:30, remember that?) or the Post Office during my lunch hour would turn into a nightmare because the queue would be out the door, populated by multiple biddies. WTF? Why why why did they have to visit these establishments at lunchtime when they had all day and I’ve only got a hour to get there, transact my business, get something to eat, eat it then get back to the office? Used to do my head in.

    • I would suggest you do take a crap on their lawn about 7 o’clock of a Friday evening that way firecunt Sam can enjoy the aroma of freshly mown shit all over his new toy

      • That would be justice served sticky and smelly. Just what the cunt deserves. Thanks Scunny me lad. I like how you think.

  12. Round these parts there’s a new kind of invasive plant species that would be less welcome in any garden than Japanese Knotweed. It comes in all colours, shapes and sizes but is readily identifiable by the pungent black fruit that it bears all year round. It’s called the Dog Shit Tree, the fruit of which resembles a dark polythene bag that swings freely in the lightest breeze, eventually releasing its seeds when wind and weather have worn away the protective outer casing. It does not attract pollinating insects but draws from miles around complete morons and their foul arsed dogs.

      • Dunno, mate. She was well after my musical time of choice but I remember seeing her on the telly when the kids were little and thinking that she was well worth the helmet.

  13. Remember those collapsible dog toys you would push the underneath and release to make it stand up again. They remind me of my evil brother in law who ran a dogs home and would do the same to the dogs he put down. He would electrocute the dogs repeatedly to make them do similar to the toy. It was funny
    at first, but should’ve reported him.

    • Electrocution was a method by which animals were put down but many years ago now it was realised that it was unethical as it often caused distress to the creature. Whether it has actually been outlawed I know not. Perhaps another cunter knows?

    • I agree with Shitcake – IF this is true (and I sincerely hope it isn’t) then you really shouldn’t have found it funny

  14. Those cunts who walk their mutts with extendable leads on pavements and footpaths at full streatch and expect you to get out of the way.
    Also in woodland, why bag up dog shit and hang from a tree? Get a branch and brush it into the undergrowth you fucking moron.

      • Hello Mis, in our Chinky number 43’s Salad with Shrimps, Water Chestnuts, Rice and Mushy Peas.

      • i used to take the fogs to the middle of the countryside just to avoid the poo bags and stench of dogshit clamming up the local common in the summer, plus it was a bit of a dull walk, round a quarry, constantly having to keep them on leads.
        I drove them a few miles out of town where there was a stream for them and you could see for a few hundred yards in case other dogs were about. Didn’t fucking stink, either.

  15. See also, those cunts who say ‘he’s friendly’ when their off lead/extendable lead dog aggressively starts barking at or runs up to you. Yes, Rover may be friendly around you but that doesn’t mean he won’t want to rip my face off you fucking imbecilic morons.

    • In my experience, dogs are excellent judges of character.
      Evening OC, all. 😉

    • Unfortunately my aunty has a dog like that. I just avoid the little runt, mainly because i’m usually in size 13 steel toe capped work trainers.

  16. Back in 2009 during Army basic training, we were on Exercise Final Fling on a training area near Aldershot. The land was open to public access so when firing weapons even with blanks, we had to hold our fire until the hikers/dog walkers passed and then we’d resume.

    Sadly some of the dog walkers didn’t show us similar courtesy in return as I found out during an enemy contact. I had to dive for cover at the base of a tree where my elbow landed in a freshly-laid dog egg. Was not happy to say the least.

    • Very sad.

      A small bloke with a big heart and massive balls.

      A rugby player par excellence

      Kevin Sinfield. A true friend and one of a very rare breed, someone who stuck with his mate through thick and thin.

      I take my hat off to both these gents.

      Massive respect.

      Proper men.

      Good evening.

      • RIP Rob.
        Hope they show him as the greatt player he was before MND.

      • Kev should get a knighthood for the true meaning of being a special mate👍…. inspirational man for an inspirational fighter…r.i.p. rob

  18. I was bit in the face by a dog once.
    My grandmother’s dog, a beautiful golden retriever called Sands.
    I were about 3.
    Still have a scar on my upper lip.
    Weren’t the dog’s fault.
    I was conducting an experiment.
    See what would happen if I slowly introduced a meat skewer into his back.
    A sudden bark!
    A snap!
    Screams!
    My blood everywhere!
    Taught me a valuable lesson, did that dog.

  19. Opey,
    You need to learn how to handle a mischievous dog.
    So you lose your fear of our canine chums.

    If you suspect a dog is aggressive?
    Stick your index finger up it’s arse.

    It’ll instantly relax and the aggression will leave it’s body.*

    Remember also to always stare at a dog, they like eye contact.

    Also try to get down to their level so they aren’t threatened.
    Get on your hands and knees.
    And if one mounts you?
    Let it finish!
    In fact fake orgasm!
    Otherwise you could effect it’s confidence.

    * Don’t pick your nose afterwards

    • Fake orgasm with a dog up your chuff, bugger..! You need some therapy MNC…🐈

  20. I don’t mind dogs. I grew up with ’em. Never been attacked by one.

    Dogs in pubs can fuck right off, though. That’s anti-social behaviour.

    • When I went back home to visit my parents over Christmas we went to a coffee shop, and a couple brought their two dogs in. One of them was actually whimpering. I should’ve given them a good bollocking though.

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