Eurovision Song Contest (7)

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Not so long ago, you could have a good snigger and, dare I say, chortle at this feast of ridiculousness over a glass of absinthe and a magma of a vindaloo. But now, like virtually everything else, it has been usurped by the sickeningly debauched dregs of humanity.

Nostalgic days they were, with our host (Terry Wigon) slowly slurping his way through several bottles of Baileys® and us, laughing and crying in incredulity and haughty smugness at our European neighbours attempts at tunes – whilst simultaneously awarding them null points for their efforts.

Then they let Turdistan in together with the other forty or fifty other East European `countries` and it all went sideways. My, how the tables have turned.

Yes. It is, was and always will be, a steaming pile of utter excrement; but at least it was without the contribution of the LBQWERTY…s.

Is there nothing sacred?

BBC News

Nominated by: Sam Beau

Seconded by the ever flamboyant Cuntamus Prime:

I stopped watching this celebration of mediocrity many years ago when the Sausage Quare got the vote over the popular winner (the big boobed slavic girls from Poland).before that was also intermittent: no Eurovision parties thanks. Those are the preserve of women and gays, and I dare not poison the atmosphere with proletarian toxic masculinity. It went from being a bit camp tio full-on mince and glitter, and is unwatchable.
Speaking of which, this year Britain’s candidate will be professionsl bender Olly Alexander, a box-ticking, mincing gremlin seemingly on retainer at the Beeb, where his bland Pet Shop Boys rip-off is played every hour by the Hen Party station, formerly Radio 2.
Olly has reservations about flying the ‘divisive’ union jack (of course) and plans to fly it in the gayest manner possible. Well done to you, Olly. It will teach all the old cunts who have nothing better to do that they’re wasting what little of their lives remain by watching hours of this sequin-spaffing AIDS-infested shite. What will it take for the doddering bastards who STILL tune in to see their nation humiliated to switch off and cancel the licence?

Given the Euro-premise, it’s also a chance for the snarky shits presenting and commentating to get in a few anti-Brexit jibes.

Still, it’s in Malmo so who knows what local enrichment might occur.

Telegraph Link.

93 thoughts on “Eurovision Song Contest (7)”

  1. The Ultra Cunts at BBCistan love it.

    Therefore it is a nailed on certainty that watching it will give you Special Afghan AIDS.

    A cesspit of degenerate vermin.

    Oven.

  2. Won’t be watching it, have never watched it, will never watch it.

    There’s a couple of local tomcats scheduled to have a fight that evening, it’ll be much more entertaining, if you all want to come round to mine.

      • Sorry JP, Fiddler is having a Eurovision party at the Towers. The chance of seeing him dressed up as Cliff Richard was too tempting to miss.

      • Bloody hell, LL. You are honoured, although I hope it isn’t a cunning ruse.

        The price of dogfood is shocking, and since the NT has been advising hitch hikers NOT to use the bridleway that passes the Towers….

        See you later, hopefully.

        P.s. Wear a GPS device.

    • I’ve not watched it since 1965. But the wife still does.

      Keeps her out of my hair for a few hours, so not all bad. 😁

  3. Thank fuck, I haven’t seen it in decades.

    I understand that our offering this year is some mincer fantasising about bum sex in a public toilet.

    Jesus fucking wept.

  4. So oily Alexander is ambivalent about the flag of the nation he is representing..

    Fair enough, I will also be ambivalent when some malmo enricher’s chuck him off the highest car park roof..
    Instant Swedish meatball.

  6. Whilst we’re on the verge of global thermonuclear war, the non event that is the Eurovision Song Contest tends to lose its sting a little. Saying that though, the stupid bastards in Manchester will gather round and sing Don’t Look Back in Anger whilst a nuclear tipped ICBM is winging its way over to us from Siberia.

  7. It was a novelty at first from its inception and gradually got fed up with it, due to that annoying Irish twat Wogan speaking over foreign voice I was interested to listen to.

    • It was a novelty in the early 60’s. The Irish twat was the only interesting thing about the buffet.

  8. The Eurovision Freak show has never had so much publicity, how dare they allow an Israeli girl take part, even Thunderberg was in Malmo wearing her Yasser Arafat tribute tea towel.
    The planet must be safe now from Global warming, changing, whatever now Greta has switched to Gaza.

    Apparently the Y*d song is now second favourite to win, not that I will be watching or actually give a fuck.

    Nil Points

    • Apparently, it is okay to shout “yiddo” if you are a spurs fan. It must be the inly word that is shouted by rival fans as an insult, but also sung by home fans as something to be proud of. Bizarre. Although i do notice that the Arsenal fans have stopped shouting “yiddo” at the end of the usual “hate tottenham” thing.

    • Jalal Debella, fine British name to represent the UK.

      Obviously the mental card will be pulled out.

  10. Hungary has the right idea.
    They will not participate because it is too gay.

    It’s not about the best song, it’s about who can be the most outrageously bent and who has ‘a message’ for the rest of the world.

    It’s also political.
    If Palestine was in it they would win outright by having some bearded sand Pákí calling people to prayer.

    But it’s cheap to broadcast so the BBC will dedicate many hours to it.

    Despite all of this Eurovision is very popular in many countries.
    So I will not be able to escape it by going to the bar.
    It will be on everywhere.

    I don’t usually watch Real Madrid, especially when they are playing shit opposition like Granada.

    Tonight I will make an exception.

  11. I see Rylan the gay refused to interview the Israeli singer. She looked very doable to me. Is Rylan coming out again as a queer for Palestine?

  12. Think the only time I showed any interest was the Polish entry of 2014 as aforementioned by C.P.
    Catchy tune as I recall.

  14. I can proudly boast that I’ve never seen Eurovision.

    I’m a snobby little cunt about music.

    That being said, I know what’s going on.
    I hope that little bandit representing England loses,
    He’s a disgrace
    Swanning about in a bra.
    His dad should of squirted him down the khazi.

    And I hope that young girl representing Israel wins.

    The lefty bullies protesting her would be inconsolable.

  16. I’d rather have pins slowly inserted into my eyes and my nails gradually pulled from my fingers than watch this crap. Politicall dogshit disguised as a music programne with a wretched soundtrack of inane, homô shenanigans.

  19. Eurovision arse ferret deviant cross dressing shit singing of music no one with a virgin arse hole wants to hear.

    Fuck I hate it, always have, always will.

    • Ho ho, fucking right, SMP.
      Hopefully at least one of them got to have a go on Winona’s big brown beaver.

      • I remember being somewhat titillated by those Bucks Fizz ladies having their skirts removed whilst performing at the EuroFagFest in the 80s..

        I was 10 years old and porn hadn’t yet been invented.

        I suppose now a Bum Bandit would have its pants removed..only to have Gayham Norton fall out of its prolapsed arsehole head first.

        Dear me.

    • Wasn’t ready for that, the electric guitar is a tool Satan, I’ll be needing a drink after that onslaught on my senses.

      Only the good spirit can soothe my shattered nerves, ooo dark spiced rum, that will work……

      Cheers

  22. Help out Israel with multiple phone votes and the BBC will still claim the audience at home voted for Palestine. Eurovisual is bent, I tell you!

    • PS The last decent song was Lulu’s Boom-Bang-a-Bang. Lulu is hot. Our entry this year is performed by a singing potato.

    • I agree Twenty and besides there’s 3 Muslim countries right by gaza none of whom are willing to take the Palestinian refugees.
      I think that speaks volumes.

  25. In the nom pic top right, what’s the plus-sized Björk impersonator got on her forehead?

    It looks like someone’s done a dirty protest on it.
    Dirty buggers.

  26. Steaming pile of mediocre cuntage.
    Plus a total misnomer, has nowt to do with songs.
    The only thing worse than the Eurovision Song Contest is BBC Children in Need.
    Goes without saying I will not be watching.
    But hope Israel wins.
    If only cos it would send Greta Thundermong and her ilk into meltdown.🤣

    • I’d put money on the Iranians, courtesy of their troublemakers and useful idiots in Malmo, doing everything they can to wreck the event.

  27. This year’s phagfest is also taking place in the rape capitlal of Europe.

    Nailed on wrong ‘un, Rylan is presenting it.

    And there’s a cavalcade of eurofilth AIDS magnets from all the ex-Soviet and Iron Curtain shitholes.

    And I wonder how many times the Beeb re going to menton Gaza and the Palestinians during the broadcast?

    • Rylan Clark has made his position clear by refusing to interview the Israeli contestant.
      That said, would be amazed if he thought otherwise.
      That, and because he’s a puff, is why the BBC chose him.
      Rylan soon to be thrown off a high building in Tower Hamlets,
      Hopefully.

      • What’s going on in this country fucking poof songs poof presenters and siding with paki terrorists?
        I feel like I’ve crossed a time hole into a parallel but worse universe!

      • Never having heard of the aforementioned Mr Clark, I had to go onto Wiki for info.

        Having done that, I can only observe that he looks like a right cunt.

    • I don’t, as I don’t watch it, read or watch any news reportage after the event.

    • Me too Norman in fact if I was in charge of the Polish entry I would give that out everytime!

  29. That remark, about Terry Wigon slurping his way through the Baileys™ has inspired me!

    Cheers, 👍

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