Confectionary Bars x 2

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1/2 — Fucking Around With Chocolate Bar Flavours (Flavors, US)

I love Daim bars, me.

But the other day I was offered a `limited edition, Orange` Daim …
DiscountDragon

Of course, it was utterly disgusting, as expected.
Why do they do this?
After a few weeks it will be gone.
You would think they would learn by their mistakes – they`ve tried many a different flavour over the years, but none have even come close to matching the majesty of the original brittle almond-sharded original encased within its reasonably generous chocolate carapace.
Fucking pointless.

Is nothing sacred? The thoughtless cunts`ll be bringing out Strawberry fucking Aeros next. Oh, they just have …

The Sun

Perhaps YOU can think of a bar of gorgeousness which they`ve ruined and share your disgust for it with us?

*******

2/2 — Discontinuing Chocolate Bars

I used to love Topics, me.

But guess what, a short while back they stopped making them – no fucking explanation …

The Sun

Fucking twats.
Now I have to hand-craft an approximation to them from scratch by simultaneously shovelling raw hazelnuts and Milky Ways into my gob whilst masticating furiously to combine the ingredients `in ore meo`.

When will this lunacy end?

Perhaps YOU can think of a much-missed now deceased bar of gorgeousness and share your disgust and longing with us?

Nominated by: Sam Beau

84 thoughts on “Confectionary Bars x 2”

  1. Still can’t beat Wykowsi in Biloxi Blues. His favourite food was Hershey Bars with the wrapper still on them. At the end of the film they tell us in later life he weighed 235 pounds and had an ulcer.

    • As a kid I’d read American comic books,
      And like all the adverts for toys and sweets.

      They used to be one for Twinkies.

      They looked delicious 😋

      When I finally tried one they were like a cheap Poundland cake.

      A major disappointment.

      Fuckin yanks.

  2. Seem to recall a fondness for a splicer bar and also black hole ice lolly.
    In fact more and more keeps coming to mind but I could be here all night listing them.
    I still like sweets but they’re crap up to what they were.

    • I used to hanker after Rancheros crisps.
      Feverishly dreamt about em
      .
      Didn’t have them for decades.

      Them on ISAC one day someone said
      ” Oh they still sell them in Ireland”

      I was shocked.
      Had to be seated and take in this bombshell news.

      Like being told you have a brother that was adopted or you have a few months to live.

      I went on line and it was true!
      I ordered fuckin loads of them.
      Sated my nostalgic craving.

      Couldn’t give a fuck about em now.

  3. I can make Nutty Bars. I call them Botty Bars. Eat peanuts the night before and serve them fresh the next day…straight from the pan.

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