Andreas Wuchner

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I recently clocked this story about a swiss businessman who is suing British Airways for 5 million after slipping on liquor and ending up with brain damage.

Fair enough you might say, but the more you delve into it, you end up with more holes than the aforementioned country’s cheese.

Andreas Wuchner was catching a flight when he decided to go for, in his words a proper coffee, so why the hell he went to Starbucks is beyond me. (Precisely. Carry on – NA)

So now he is the last to board and is holding 2 bags and 4 coffees..
Slips on some liquid and hits the floor..

First up he has already been awarded £130,000 by a London Court.

Next his brain damage, consists on headaches and concentration issues, don’t we all.

Then he said he was walking, but insists he flew 2 metres in the air backwards.
Now that’s impressive at walking speed..

He owns a office supply company but has had to fold the business, which makes no sense unless he runs it on his own..

In closing it looks to me he is taking no responsibility and looking for a big payday.

Personally I hope he ends up with nothing, just for buying Latte macchiato’s from Starbucks.

NDTV News Link.

Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt

57 thoughts on “Andreas Wuchner”

  1. This caffeine crazed swiss twat is trying to take the piss.

    Swiss people are notoriously brittle and feeble.
    True.

    They’re a bit mard, and the army has penknives instead of guns.
    True.

    But Im guessing he was brain damaged beforehand.

    Lot of them are,
    It’s because they remain neutral in world wars.
    Makes their brains spongy.

    Tell the cuckoo cunt to fuck off and send him the cleaning bill for all that spilt coffee.

    • Are you saying he’s exaggerating, Thomas?

      Surely not. I always thought the Swiss were held up as shining examples of decency, honesty and outstanding morals.

      • That’s Roger Federer JP, he used to get Cliff Richard all flustered in the Royal Box at Wimbledon.

      • Federer’s ringpiece is at least a couple of decades too old for Cliff.

      • LL, I thought it was Federer bum in those tight, white shorts that got the wrinkly old twat going.

        Hopefully, he’ll die soon, along with Paul McCartney. Not Ringo, though.
        I like him.

  3. The cunts got it arse about face, having brain damage before the flight.

  4. He e owns a office supply company.
    Typical boring swiss twat.

    Paperclip pimp.

    He should concentrate on walking in a straight line whilst holding hot beverages the dozy banana heeled cunt .

    • Can’t expect a lot more when you mix a kraut with a frog l – Probably too used to bending, the cunt. Looks like a fiddler.

  5. Slipped on liquor?

    “Candy is dandy
    But liquor is quicker”

    W.wonka.

  6. Not very neutral when it comes to trying it on, the descended from Nazi abetters cunt. I now know the origin of the English language word ‘swizz’.

  7. Given that Switzeryland people are the most boring in the world this was probably an event for him.

    Dodgy country, boring, boring people.

    Worked there and it is CRAP.

    • Edit: Even the Italian Swiss are boring and ALL the women are brutes.

    • Used to get a splendid Italian lunch in Zurich fantastic staff turned it into a cheap Jack tapas bar the cunts.

  8. Why do so many compo cases involve “slipping” on some dodgy liquid? Was this Kraut looking where he was walking|? Was he goose-stepping too quickly?

    Most Swiss Cheeses I’ve ever met have been junkies.

    • Explains the four coffees he said he was carrying when he slipped. No mention of traveling with anyone else so assume they were all for him as he was jonesing in first class with his elephants bladder.

  9. Throw him off the Matterhorn backwards that should break his record flight….. maybe it’s not just the cuckoo clocks that are… well cuckoo ….yodel-oodle-eeee

  10. Haha excellent,any cunt daft enough to order not one but four coffees from starfucks needs giving brain damage,by way of English lump hammer.

    And besides all his other obvious faults,if the boring mentally retarded bullshitter can leap six foot in the air from a standing start then he’d be a star in a Laurel & Hardy sketch (never mind about the time travelling aspect)..

    Then a fucking grand piano could fall on his head.

    Another fine mess.

    Fuck Off.

    • He wanted to create a nestlé egg, but made a few emmenthal-ary mistakes.

      • That was bad.

        I mean mine was bad….. but that was…… bad.

        I was going to add that Lady Gaga once tried to learn Swiss but she wasn’t very good at it. All she could do was write a bad Romansh.

        Actually I think that last one was the worst so the coat is on and I’m heading for the door.

  12. I’ve always daydreamed that Britain declared war on the swiss.
    It’d be marvellous.

    Teach the fence sitters a lesson.
    Germany could join us if they wished?

    Sort of anglo-germanic bonding exercise?

    They’d shit Toblerone when they saw the British Tommies approaching 👍
    Wouldn’t have time to get out the bottle opener on their penknife before they got a British bayonet in the belly.

    Fuckin bean counters.

    • Paddy’s no different, Mis. The main reason Paddies see a doctor is to get splinters removed from their arses from all that sitting on the fence.

    • Think the Jerries flogged them all their surplus hardware after the war. Toblerone munchers swanning around in ex-Nazi armoured vehicles. Poor show.

    • Swiss firms made a fortune manufacturing precision instruments for the Nazis, primarily for U-boats and Lofte bombsights for bombers. Also involved in providing lumber for the concentration camps.

      Meanwhile the money grubbing Gnomes of Zurich were more than happy to manage assets stolen from Jews by top tier Nazi Party officials.

      Off track, on a brighter note, good to see that tranny loving, woman hating, democracy denying poof, Lloyd Russell-Moyle has been barred from standing again in Brighton.

      If you’ve never heard of the cunt, check out the clip below where he works himself up into a petulant frenzy following Labour’s trouncing in 2019.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=643IUDOQj6k

    • We’d lose.
      Their population is heavily armed and lives in the alps.

      We punish our servicemen for doing their job and have a week’s worth of ammo.

  14. Bet they duck out of the next world war!

    Guaranteed.

    They’ll duck out and the yanks will turn up at the end.

    Wonder what medals they award in the swiss military?
    They’ve never saw battle.
    Never turned up for a war.

    Probably get one for yodelling above the call of duty,
    Or making hot chocolate for the platoon.

    Muesli eaters

    • Whatever the medals are they’ll be made out of 24 carat gold that’s been looted from some poor cunt.

      • What, all those valuables that wealthy people shipped to security in 1937/8,
        do you mean?

        Never happened, according to the Swiss.

        As I said, shining examples of…

      • Spot on, Jeezum, and that’s not to mention the secure storage that they provided and continue to provide to their militaristic northern neighbour.

    • Evening MNC/all.
      I’ve been putting the willies up the young pricks at work by telling them that the US election fallout is going to be the catalyst that kicks off WW3 and they’re all going to be drafted to the frontline…who knows, it might be true?!

      • Oh, well done Thomas!

        Hopefully, some will enlist before being conscripted, in the hope of getting a commission, and the rest will fuck off to Canada.

      • “I’ve been putting the willies up the young…….I must admit I was bracing myself for some Cunt Engine depravity.

      • No need for a hot war Mr Cunt Engine..if the Russkies or the Yellow Peril switch off wifi and mobile phone networks the entirety of Western civilization will surrender within half an hour.

        The russkies very likely have those super slow super silent drone subs just sat waiting to destroy all the deep sea cables we are totally dependent on.

        So plenty of shitty nappies amongst the younger generations..

        Barrymore the Fritzl out of em I say.

      • We can but live in hope Thomas.

        We’ve been lucky and won two doubt we’d win another?!!

        It’ll be China this time,
        They don’t take prisoners.
        Theyll eat them.

        Bit of soy sauce and into the wok you go.

        Luckily we’re to old eh Thomas?
        Home Guard for us.

        Turn that light out!!!

      • Bloody hell, MNC…if I was home guard, I’d steal dozens of thousands of pounds’ worth of stuff every night.
        Also, in case the dog-eaters take over, we have a tiddly-wink at work who’s reasonably attractive. I’m going to secure safety from the chınks by shagging one them and finally finding out what an oriental pussy actually looks like.
        They’re all blurred out usually…

      • I’ll pompously do my duty as a Home guard Thomas.

        Turn the van into a battle bus.

        They’ll be no black market profiteering in my platoon.

        You stupid boy.

      • Hey Thomas,
        I saw some bluey with a chink getting rattled,
        They make a awful lot of noise screaming and crying!

        Right turn on👍

        And they are used to Chinaman winkys,
        Tiny.
        So be a real treat for the noisy yellow cunt having a proper lenth.

        I’m off for a wank

      • The Chinks better hurry up. They face population collapse. in 30 years they’ll be hollowed out by the lack of replacement workers. They’ll be importing Indians, South East Asians and Africans from their new colonies.

      • Alternatively, we could sell them some of our surplus liggers.

        The Chinese are famous for encouraging people to a proper work ethic.

      • I’d rather like to see a chınky tank (a chank?) run over a couple of dozen ‘influencers’.

  16. They couldn’t even help Steve McQueen by putting a gate in their side of the fence in the Great Escape , neutral my arse, scared more like it. Heavily down on the motorist also I understand. Troglodytes to a man.

  18. Guilty on all 34 counts.

    It’s gonna kick off.

    Didn’t even get one dismissed.
    Bit unusual that?

    It’s almost as if the judge didn’t like him….

  21. I bet he’s been buggered so mich that his arsehole is like this :
    https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=986cfd32cb66a37f&sca_upv=1&hl=en-gb&q=patulous%20anus&uds=ADvngMiwfn8uYCYg6uH33md7hfeMge3CbL0WQidRuA9HwN6EGLbie0Y7Y4SSEz2B2m-kXuKBATLIBHL6RWNvjXTVL0rBn9DLaVn_96z-chFNB3mwl9E_CILV7O1wX1F9JSdzg7m_W1GmRdceZ_IMpJ-cLwfVrvYzlf0QdpdE7UZTuKwhZH2bJIWznqLk2bdjO6RFtYVw-zjzPiuTuhwxo6perdz6cQh5qRFsfEn8J19yM6EDKOA9gIpXJm082BZkMg6otYA0tl2exRxUYtNTjyhGjzWhRzmMSw&udm=2&prmd=ivnmbtz&sa=X&biw=430&bih=731&dpr=3&no_sw_cr=1&zx=1717113494867&sssc=1

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