Sainsbury’s

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now on my cunts list.

Just about everywhere does a meal deal, even my local Co-op which is tiny. Usually a sandwich, drink and a “pudding”, like a bit of cake, bag of crisps or a yoghurt.

Except Sainsbury’s have decided that a yoghurt is now actually the equivalent of a sandwich, or a pasty or a pasta salad.

Well, no Sainsbury’s, it’s not the same. If yoghurt has become so pricey you can’t offer them as a snack, just remove them from the “meal deal”. It really is that simple.

Don’t piss on my chips and call it vinegar.

Guardian

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

80 thoughts on “Sainsbury’s”

  1. Just think of it as your contribution for Sainsbury’s ill-conceived idea to buy Argos, JP.
    At least it’s better than Asda, currently owned by a pair of smelly muzzıes.

  3. Flog some of your kimono collection and put chuffin’ hand in t’pocket tha chuffin’ miser Yorkie.
    ‘appen.
    Supermarkets in general are money grubbing, price gouging, piss taking cunts whose mass produced food is shite either way. I’d rather have less quantity of quality grub than a shitload of the shite they offer.

      • Imagen looks like she lives off yoghurts.

        She needs a steak and a pint of stout.

        Then she should shut the fuck up.

        Good morning.

      • “The closure of my Sainsburys has tipped me over the edge”
        said some cunt called Emma Bedwettington.

        That’s it ? That’s what passes for the intelligentsia these days? I’d take VIZ more seriously than this drivel.

      • And good fucking morning to anyone not called Imogen or Emma, they can fuck off over a cliff.

  4. Ooh dear, little Imogen’s distraught. Her whole world is crumbling around her.

    It’s going to get worse too. At no point in her article does she put the blame for this assault on her human rights down to Brexit, the Far-Right or the Climate Emergency. When the Editor spots this glaring omission she’ll be for the chop.

    Ah well, she’ll just have to rely on Daddy’s trust fund again.

    • Plus she looks like Yvette Cooper. Which makes me think of Ed Balls.
      And now I’m sneering.
      Morning GT/all.

  5. Those cunts couldn’t do their customers a “deal” with a fucking Luger held to their heads.

  6. If your from Glastonbury and called Neil then maybe yoghurt is a main part of a meal deal?

    Handful of chickpeas and some guava juice.

    But not fuckin me.

    Butty, crisps, and a bottle of Lipton’s peach ice tea.
    I know,I know it’s deeply ducky but the stuffs very tasty!

    If I was a employee of Sainsbury’s and you came mithering me with your first world problems I’d have you escorted from the premises JP.

    I’d impatiently say

    ” Look, your visibly Jewish and I’m asking you to leave for your own safety.
    Your inciting other customers”.

    😁

    • “And for Christs sake button up that happi coat”.

      And no Imogen, yogurt isn’t a ‘fun part of breakfast’.

    • Presumably JP’s not allowed to shop in Asda?
      Or “Musda” as it ought to be renamed.

    • Well, well, well Miserable.

      Your chickens are coming home to roost aren’t they?
      Country Cream gates
      Lipton’s peach iced tea.

      But my taste in music is ‘a bit gay’ 😂

      I bet this is in your record collection
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1a8QABKNo0

      Next you’ll be wearing short shorts.
      Who wears short shorts….😂

  7. Sainsbury’s.. weren’t they the supermarket that had safe spaces for the black stabby community.

    Still I imagine the yogurt has more culture than your average darkie

    Shop at tesco JP..

  9. These meals are only ideal if the items are something you would buy separately and they are genuinely not.

  11. Get your wife to make you a sandwich which you can eat at lunchtime.

    Or be really brave and make one yourself.

    Or even 2.

    Dont pay supermarket prices for refrigerated sandwiches.
    They are made in an unhygienic warehouse on a trading estate by Pákís.

    And Pákís don’t wash their hands after they have been to the lavvy.

    • You could take the piss Artful, by walking round the supermarket whilst, eating your homemade sandwich.

      • Or, eat one of theirs and lay a cable in the empty box and put it in ready to eat hot chicken section. They wouldn’t know the difference.

  12. Do they do a line in Pride sandwiches? Asking for a gay friend who can’t afford to shop at M&S. 😂

    • You’ve reminded me Shit-cake, on a visit to M&S in the Hackney Narrow Way, when who stood before me, was Flabbot in a skirt with a front zip from waist to hem, giving me the dirtiest look and realised I’d guessed she was hiding the largest meat & two veg on record.

    • They used to do a line in Mothers Pride, but that had no taste and was shite also.

  13. And what happens to the unsold sandwiches at the end of the day?

    I bet that the staff don’t take them home.
    They know better.

    Every sandwich, like every airplane meal contains traces of Pákí poo.

    The leftovers are put in a skip or sent out to feed the homeless.
    Homeless people don’t care about a bit of poo in their sandwiches.
    Besides that the sandwiches are free and homeless people are not the most hygienic either.

    Some old sandwiches might be sent out to old people’s homes.
    The inevitable death of the codger will be recorded as COVID.

  15. Steak, egg, chips, mushrooms, apple pie, ice-cream, and four bottles of Old Speckled Hen, £1-35.
    That’s a real meal deal.

  16. I can’t picture a situation where I’d purchase a yoghurt or pasta salad.

    They aren’t part of my world.

    And why is all the sandwiches in.supermarkets on that shitty wholemeal bread with ‘ bits’ in.it?

    I prefer butties I’ve made myself.
    Ham on.white bread
    Wrapped in.foil.
    Sheer magic.

    • You can’t, MNC?
      You’ve already admitted to drinking peach iced tea, only one notch on the rainbow ladder above avocado on toast, bicycling and having a little dog called ‘Dorothy’.

    • I haven’t touched white bread for many years MNC.

      Some neighbours of ours returned to Wales after putting their house here on the market.
      Houses take a long time to sell in Spain.

      About a year later Mrs Cunter got a call from the couple who asked if she would box up a few of their possessions as the house was sold.

      She had a key.

      When opening the door to the house she was horrified by the stink.
      On investigation she found that the couple had left food in the kitchen and fridge.

      The power had been switched off and everything was covered in mould.
      Except half a loaf of white bread.

      This was still in tact, soft and possibly edible.
      Fuck knows what they put in the stuff.

      The bread was ‘Bimbo’ brand.

      Do they sell it in the UK?
      If they do, stay well away from it.

      • Morning Artie👍

        Bimbo.bread?!
        No don’t sell it in the UK.

        I like brown bread for certain things,
        Just not that stuff with bits in.
        But toast? ..white bread
        Hot pot…white bread
        Ham sandwich..white bread

        Growing up you could smell it baking over the Fields from the nearby Sunblest® bakery,
        A wonderful smell.

      • I’ll give it a miss thanks all the same Artie.

        I’m not a fan of any foreign cuisine.

        I’ll stick with Warburtons.

  17. What you shove down your gizzard is important.

    The first and last time that I ate a McDonald’s burger was in about 1972.
    Thet had opened a shop in Kensington High Street.
    It was fucking horrible.

    I honestly don’t eat any processed food or ready meals.

    Mrs Cunter will go to a good butcher for meat, and vegetables are brought from the market.

    Cook everything from scratch.
    It’s not difficult.

    For sandwiches I would typically grill a well seasoned chicken breast and slice it up thin.
    You will easily get half a dozen sandwiches out of that.

    And I’m rightfully fussy when I eat out.
    I want food that is cooked from fresh when I order it.
    I don’t mind waiting for it.

    Today’s society is all about convenience and speed.
    To me, that is not what eating is all about.

    • My last employer had contracts with several fast food companies Artful, including McD’s, Burger King and KFC. I was offered free food at all of them. I always politely refused, said I’d just eaten. I couldn’t fancy any of it, I’d rather go hungry but it often struck me that many of the customers were obviously long term regulars. As they approached the counter they would rattle off a detailed list of exactly what they wanted and were already getting their wallets out. I confess to being spoiled. My wife routinely produces meals better than most restaurants where I’ve eaten.

      The other thing about McD’s is that they have a surveillance system that Erich Honecker would have envied. The order point takes your photo which is displayed on the screen in front of the operator at the pay point and at the collection point. There are sensors in the road which detect your car which is also photographed going in and out. All this stuff can be accessed live by top management somewhere in Europe and all the information is stored in data centres.

      I wouldn’t recommend going in McDonald’s if there is a warrant out for your arrest.

      • Good morning.

        McDonald’s.
        Buns that never get stale.
        Meat washed in ammonia so it doesn’t go off.
        French fries made out of processed starch.

        Their factories must be like chemical laboratories.

        And people eat that shit, often several times a week.

        They feed it to their own children as a regular treat.
        Then they wonder why they are all fat and unhealthy.

  18. the supermarkets are no different to the political parties, all promotions and offers that ain’t what they seem 🧐…..the last Sainsbury’s i went in i thought I’d entered a mosque, nearly all the staff certainly weren’t WHITE ….shop local if i can , especially for 🥩🐑🐮 wouldn’t touch supermarkets for my meat 🤮….Mr trotter the butcher 5 minutes walk 👍….and no need for a safe space or a prayer room, crock of 💩

    • Oh yes indeed Sammy.

      Those little dainty triangle butties are ok if you’re the Queen mother but not for a working man.

  20. I would have thought that Imogen would have had a great affinity for the meal deal yoghurt and its properties as a treatment for thrush, given she’s clearly an irritating twat.

  21. Sainsbury’s = Cheap shite. Didn’t you know that you can get Fortnum’s to deliver your sandwiches? At a push you could pop to Waitrose (although that has been going to the dogs just like John Lewis, all fucking gayed up now). When in town go to Selfridges food hall for your takeaway comestibles. Harvey Nichols was a firm favourite but since the 1980shas become passe… All advice provided by Lord Snooty and Pals, Jonathon Porritt and William Wragg.

  22. Both.Imogen and Emma are incredibly pale?!!

    Like they’ve been in prison.
    Or are anemic.
    Possibly victims of nighttime vampire attacks.

    They should fuck that yoghurt off.

    Black pudding, iron tablets and 3
    Hours a day outside minimum.
    Maybe a holiday in the sun.

    Seen better complections in the Chapel of Rest.
    Goth twats.

  23. I think Imogen Double-barrelled was clutching at straws like a wanking scarecrow when she came up with the idea for this article.

    It reads like a 14 year old’s detention essay.

    ‘I’ve no idea what to write so I’ll write about my lunch. 500 words wanked out for the cash should do it’.

    • Agreed Odin.
      However little the Guardian might have paid her, it was still too much.

  25. I think it’s Sainsbury, it may be Waitrose…. Anyhow that fat pompous cunt Stephen Fry does a radio advert for them, where at the end he pontificates in his smug, condescending, better than you peasants voice, Sainsburies….. ‘good food for ALL of us.

    Yeah, you fat gay poove, a good organic, locally sourced fair trade aubergine just off ripe, perfect to ram up your raddled arse.

    Ho he, a bunch of cunts if ever there was some.

  26. What’s for tea mam?

    “Yoghurt”.

    What?!!! Dadll cave your head in when he gets home from work.

    I’m going round to Kev’s house he’s having Findus crispy pancakes 👍

  27. What’s for tea mam?

    “Yoghurt”.

    What?!!! Dadll go.mental when he gets home from work.

    I’m going round to Kev’s house he’s having Findus crispy pancakes 👍

  30. The cheapest food is next to nothing at any supermarket. Any blackie would tell you that.

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