Fifth Gear – Recharged

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I despise this program. For various reasons. My points are:

1. Up to 2018/19 they started to cover EVs and were often critical of their shortcomings.  Since the rebrand it is a case of “electric good, fossil fuel bad.”

2. They sacked their best presenter Tiff Needell. He was on R4 recently rubbishing EVs as being affordable by the wealthy middle classes only. His replacement is that black pop eyed geezer from Top Gear who is a born again electric zealot.

3. They really are total turncoats.  Vicki Butler-Henderson now wets her knickers over hybrids but only when the petrol engine is roaring.  Jason Plato looks and sounds like a man who is pretending to be enthused by electric power. His heart isn’t in it.

4. The whole series has become an advert for woke environmentalists trying to brainwash the nation when the truth is that EV sales are falling and the Electric Revolution is crumbling amidst a sea of misinformation and lies.

5. It should be entitled FIFTH GEAR (RETARDED)

Nominated by: Lord Helpus

70 thoughts on “Fifth Gear – Recharged”

  1. Errr EV sales are not falling. They are not just for enviro nutters. I bought one because it costs £8 to fill it and I could not give one flying fuck about trees or fluffy bunnies, but I do quite like pussies so that’s the other EV trope dealt with.

    But you’re right about fifth gear, right about their enforced electric agenda and their presenters are just a shower of cunts doing as they’re told as you say.

  2. Ev are lame shit. No resale value no fucking effective range say if you fancy going to Devon or Cornwall on holiday.
    And if you are an environmentalist then they have a much bigger carbon footprint in just actually making the thing than a fiesta petroleum hatch back has during its live.
    Fuck em load of shite. 5 th gear. That’s shit too but I still fancy VBH.

  4. Looks like Tif has become the new Dr David Bellamy. Ostracised for not going along with the climate change mantra.
    Still, it could have been worse.
    He could have been incinerated in one of those four wheeled iPhones when they inexplicably self combusted.
    I can’t wait for the episode where they show you how the minerals for the batteries are obtained and how the electricity they run on is generated.
    There isn’t one?
    Why not I wonder?

  5. Any entertainment that has a “right on” message at its core is simply unwatchable shit.

    Thank fuck I’ve never seen these sell out cunts.

    Electronic cars are a death trap.

    Good morning.

  6. You can’t do a day’s work or confidently go on a long journey in an electric car.

    If you have no driveway or you live in an apartment then you can’t easily charge them.

    Perhaps the technology will improve in the future.
    If it does then expect the electricity suppliers to rip the arse out of it.

    In the meantime electric vehicles are experimental.
    People who buy them are guinea pigs.

  8. Every disadvantage of an electric car comes down to the battery. Volta is credited with inventing the first battery in 1800. Ever since vast amounts of research and money has been expended by generations of clever people trying to make a good one. We are not there yet and I’m not holding my breath. A physicist who hasn’t been bought or blackmailed will tell you it can’t be done.

  9. Good for Tiff Nedell refusing to cooperate with the EV twats at 5th gear. As has been mentioned up thread building the wretched things is very environmentally damaging but gives all those people who buy them a warm fuzzy feeling and that’s the main thing I suggest. I think EVs are a blind alley and all sources of the rare metals needed to build them are under control of the Chinese who are the new colonialists in Africa, fuck giving them any more power.

  10. About 4 year’s ago I brought a Sportage.
    A nice, comfortable car in my opinion.

    It cost 22.500 euros new.

    I wanted to trade it in last year for a new model.
    The same car with similar spec cost me 43.000 euros.

    The difference is that we have to have electric cars here, so this one has got a mild-hybrid engine.

    The car can’t drive on electric, it’s petrol.
    The only noticeable difference is that when you coast the petrol engine cuts out.
    All of the electrics in the car keep working.
    The Air-con, lights etc.
    And they will keep working for a full 40 seconds before the petrol engine starts and takes over.

    And that’s with a fully charged hybrid battery!

    The people that decided that fully electric cars are the future need shooting in the face.

    They think that we can all park outside our own houses when in reality we are generally lucky to be able to park in the same street.

    And here’s another thing.
    Houses in Spain are limited to the amount of electricity that they have.
    The maximum is 9.2kw.
    Most houses have 5.75kw.
    To increase your allowance costs money with increased monthly charges too.

    Even with the highest amount allocated at the highest cost, you will still be hard pushed to use your normal, domestic appliances and charge a car without the electricity tripping.

    There is a lot of money to be made by persuading people to go green.

    • I had a hybrid. Bag of shit that did 2MPG less than the all petrol version it replaced. Got rid.

      • The cunt in the showroom tried to tell me that it would give me better milage than a petrol car.

        I asked him how was that possible when I am dragging a second electric engine up hills.

  11. I may have missed something, but what happens if you are in an EV and you get trapped for hours on a Motorway with 50 other EV’s in a Just Stop Oil demo? Can you all get a jump start from the AA/RAC? Just askin’ for a friend…

    • I’ve seen photos Hugh.

      They turn up with an electric generator on the back of a diesel truck.

      • Yes, and a heater. 2KW heater for about 140 hours in mine. Been in some shitty traffic jams but never that shitty.

      • Er, 2kW for 140 hours is of course 280kWh. From what I read a few EVs have 100kWh batteries but the rest are smaller capacity.

      • My car has a 12 gallon tank. 12 gallons of petrol is equivalent to 500kWh. On a slow pump it can take a good 2 minutes to refill it from empty.

    • Only if the RAC come in by helicopter.

      I think that EVs stuck in a long tailback will cause the mother of all traffic jams one day. If they last that long.

  12. I regularly use the M6/M5 and it amuses me no end when I stop for a brew/piss and see EV owners queuing up like Blackpool donkeys to charge their overpriced eco toys….

    After an half hour stop usually most of them haven’t even got near a battery charger.

    Basically if your domestic appliance has a battery it’s shite and will always let you down when you need it the most..

      • I’m genuinely pleased that it does the job for you Moggie. However I doubt it weighs 2 tons and can go 350 miles round your lawn at 70 mph without needing to be recharged.

  13. They should give electric cars to those odious cunts James O’brien and Owen Jones in the hope they self combust and be fucking done with them.

    • They should skip the cars and just plug those 2 cunts directly into the National Grid.

    • Did little Owen ever pass his test? He lioks like the sort of bloke to never take driving lessons because it would make him ‘giddy’.

  14. Nothing more than yet another cunting not so stealth tax with a battery car to play with. Cheap to fill ? Maybe so, give that time, wait until these toys are rolled (or pushed being the right word, metaphorically and physically) out and then watch those leccy price hikes soar.
    Perhaps tyre prices will rise as well, with the extra weight, you gotta pick a pocket or two.
    You never convince these zealots who gleefully embrace every government dictat and ‘initiative’ , they can nip over to the pharmacy to get the latest safe and effective experiment for a predicted wave of “touch of the snuffles” before mutilating their goolies to save the planet.
    One size fits all with these demented bedwetters and the eco scam is the very essence of their wet dreams.
    I hope their infernal machines turn Fukushima.
    Cunts.
    Hello, good morning and bollocks .

    • Bollocks.
      I have never “gleefully embraced” any government dictat but since I make my own electricity the price won’t be increasing and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to pay £120 to fill my car with Arab juice when I can do it for a tenner. Don’t confuse being an ecotwat with having an IQ in 3 figures and the ability to do basic maths. And the tyres are exactly the same as on any other car ffs.

      To deal with some more bollocks:
      The insurance is cheaper than the petrol Audi it replaced and it came down by £70 this year.
      I have never queued at a charger anywhere at all, they are almost never all that busy.
      It takes 18 minutes to charge up and as a cunt of a certain age that’s about how long it takes me to take a piss and sup a cup of tea, neither of which I would be doing while standing in the pissing rain with a pump in my hand.
      The last bollocks about resale values… traded in my old EV for a this one and lost 10% in a year. Try that deal with a shiny new petrol/diesel car which will lose double that as it goes out of the door.

      So yes, Fifth Gear is bollocks but so is all this ridiculous shite about electric cars.

      UNLESS you can’t charge it home in which case you would have to be fucking insane to buy one as it will bankrupt you paying what the robbing bastards charge for public chargers. My weekend TVR 4.5 V8 is cheaper to run than filling up the electric car at public chargers.

      • I think this proves Tiff’s point; EVs are OK for relatively wealthy folks with their own charging point and no rush to be anywhere. Maybe you have a second home in Cornwall with another charging point. Otherwise you will have to pay public charging prices.

      • With respect, ‘fatjon’, you once claimed you were in a hospital and your heart stopped and nobody did anything, so, I’ll take what you say with a pinch of salt…

        I’ll stick with my V6, thanks, even though my commute is less than ten minutes.

      • Seconded Mis.

        Its pretty quite on the wacko front this week. I think he is watching the Trump trial.

      • Oh aye, comedy gold! All my posts go into moderation as, I reckon, my tin foil hat’s not polished enough. And I’m not a fan of our Yank ‘friend’.

  15. wouldn’t entertain an electric vehicle, the Unimog is nearly 6 litre diesel and the old 1955 Scammell explorer I had was 11 litre straight 6 petrol did 3 miles per gallon on road the other way round off road theres a few vids on you tube it’s a blue one, that old girl would give eco nutters a coronary spewing panda killing gas out of a 4 inch pipe.
    Bet these EVs aren’t on the road 70yrs later and with the Mog 38yrs.

    • Civvydog@

      I just watched one👍👍

      I’m more impressed by that than any gay Lamborghini or Porsche.

      • It was a pleasure to own such a fantastic piece of British engineering MNC from a time when stuff was built to do a job not built down to a price set by bean counters.

  16. EVs – The vegans of the motoring world.

    If a Tesla could take humanoid form it would look like Walter the Softie from the Beano.

    • Tesla is now the must have council estate accessory….and the build quality is shit and they look like shit.

      Nuff said.

  17. Never heard of this programme, what the fuck is it?
    Best thing Tiff done was shunt Moaning Mansell into the tyre wall at Brands Hatch, he went looking for him in the pits, the cunt.

  18. I haven’t the foggiest idea about vehicles that get you from A to B. But wonder why they should make so much noise about it. I do have a theory that empty vessels make the most sound and it involves short arsed loud mouth cunts with tiny cocks.

  19. My brother has over 50 years experience in the motor trade, mechanical engineer, he swears by diesel ! So who am I going to listen to? Him or some lying cunt politician? I fucking hate electric vehicles and everything they stand for !
    Tesla driver’s the environment may love you, but I think your an irritating smug cunt FUCK OFF and the same goes for all those turncoat former petrol heads, bunch of cunts FUCK OFF

    • All this EV propaganda and the government’s hatred and persecution of owners of ICE vehicles is giving me grief.
      I own a 6 cylinder diesel BMW which is quite nippy, but am pissed off with having to pay at least 10 p per litre more than petrol even though my exhaust emissions are so clean that if I shoved a hosepipe up it’s ass I couldn’t even commit suicide!
      There’s no way that I’m going to invest in a fucking glorified milk float.
      Do I sell my diesel and get a 6 cylinder petrol model instead?
      Ps: I’ve owned cars with 6 cylinders ranging from a Wolseley 6/110 to a BMW m140i and am suffering from “ once you’ve tried 6 you’ll never want 4” syndrome l
      Would love a throaty v8 but can’t afford one.

      • Ah, you are now a straight six addict Cuntator. Good for you mate! Naturally achieve almost perfect balance, smooth as silk and spin up like a turbine. Stay with it!

  20. The obsession with electric is completely for the birds, assuming the new Nuclear plant actually comes on stream in the next couple of years the amount of nuclear electricity will be still the lowest since the 80’s, and labour want to decarbonise by 2030
    Has anyone calculated how much electricity it takes to charge 30 million EVs 😂

    Haven’t seen Vicki Butler Henderson for a while but she was quite fuckable 10 years ago.

    • Hi Sick of it,
      A woman may be fuckable to look at, but must have the top gear to grip your rod. The only way we can get into the driving seat, is if we have the patter and money to afford it.

      • There’s a old bloke somewhere round here drives a Austin,7 saloon with a skellington in the back 😂

        1930 something? So.getting on.for hundred years old,
        Looks mint.

        He’s always got a big grin on his face,
        I waved to him as he went past.

        Not many cars would make me wave like a 3yr old,
        But he just looked so happy 👍

        He’s got it cracked.

        Wonder how many EV enthusiasts will be meeting up in 100 years with still.running Nissan leafs?
        Hehehe 😄

    • EV average charge rate is 7.2 kw.
      × 30 million

      216 GW

      UK generating capacity is 75-77 GW

      obviously 30 million cars wont be charging all at once but a large number will be charged overnight.

  21. EV sales are flatlining. I heard it on the BBC so it must be true, or they are worried about the net zero bullshit…. Only good for milkfloats.

    VB Henderson, I would have about 20years ago. She looked good in racing overalls. That Plato is a dull cunt and I’ve never heard of the ether others.

    Tiffany Dell was quite good on original Top Gear.

    Diesel is the future.

  22. The motorbike is the only real nuisance for me to think about ringing the noise abatement society. I always give a wry smile when finding one wrapped around a lamppost. No need to travel that fast, you’ll get there in the end and not the latest one in the graveyard.

    • “…crumbling amidst a sea of misinformation and lies.”
      Sounds like the Republican party.

  24. Electric car are shit, TV is shit….TV and Electric cars are like two cunts in a bed of shit.

    They can both eat my shit a beg for another bowlful.

  27. It was mentioned in the nom about Vicky B-H wetting her knickers,does anyone here know where I could view footage of this incident ?.

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