Babies on Board

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A delve into the past for this one..
On my travels today I saw a car with one of those baby on board badges.

Back in the 80s/90s those where prevalent in every vehicle, spawning a fad with parodies..

Was the badge a brag? Someone fucked you once?
There is a thought that it was to help the emergency services at the scene of a accident..

But you would have to be a crap first responder,in that you would only check for babies if the car had a badge..
“Anyone in the back george”
“No mate, no sign on the back window”

Same as it makes other road users more aware of you, yeah people will see the badge and steer into the nearest tree..

No it’s just another example of insufferable cunts..so stick your twee badge where the sun doesn’t shine.

Wiki

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

60 thoughts on “Babies on Board”

  1. And is there anyone more self-important than a new mother or pregnant hippo who thinks the world revolves around her?
    Josef Fritzl had an interesting sign in the back of his car: “abused daughter in cellar”.
    He’s out of prison now, the cheeky scampster.

      • Morning BZ…nope, I’m still being entertained at his majesty’s pleasure, but I’m finally out of solitary and I’ve managed to get a laptop smuggled in.
        In my new husband’s ass.

      • It wasn’t peter mandelson was it?

        He could fit deep blue up that cavernous arsehole.

    • @Thomas The Cunt Engine, was getting worried about you Thomas. Nice to see you backšŸ„°šŸ’‹

    • Thomas returns.

      I thought you’d fallen foul of someone on the dark web while visiting one of those ‘red room’ sites and they’d kidnapped you and you were now like the Oh Dae-Su in the film Old Boy.

      MNC thought you’d found love.

      • MNC’s missing now…
        Reckon that General Cunster had him taken out.
        But got rumbled by the Deep State.
        Now in jail awaiting extradition to the UK.

  2. Tesla: Virtue-signalling hypocrite on board.
    Lamborghini: Premiership footballer on board.
    Any car on its roof: Katie Price on board.

  3. A couple of days ago I saw one of signs in a car which read ā€˜ Bottled Oxygen on Board .
    Two days later I am still puzzled.

    • Drivers with a medical condition requiring constant oxygen, say COPD, need to have a bottle in the car. The sticker is simply a warning of the contents, same as transport lorries use. I’ve seen a number over the years.

      • Used to sell adhesive or magnetic “Compressed gas on board” decals in my shop, a diver with four or five rapidly heating scuba tanks pumped to 300bar is definitely something a fire crew need to be aware of! O2 tanks even more so.

    • Also bottled oxygen is highly flammable, so any emergency workers will want to be aware of it as soon as possible during a crash.

      • “…Also bottled oxygen is highly flammable…”

        It’s not flammable per se, but it is a vigorous ‘oxidant’ (what it says on the tin) in that it supports combustion. Materials that would not normally burn in atmospheric air will burn readily and ferociously in an oxygen rich atmosphere particularly hydrocarbons, oils, and greases, rubber, vinyls etc.

        For the past few decades divers have taken up the use of Nitrox, rather than filling cylinders with regular compressed air (O2 = 21%) they’ll fill with Enriched Air Nitrox which has had additional O2 decanted into it (up to 40%) This lessens decompression times as there is less nitrogen load in the tissues, the oxygen is cleared from the tissues by its natural metabolism, nitrogen isn’t metabolised by the body so has to be cleared via the pulmonary system only, this takes a finite time thus requiring slow and controlled ascent after leaving the bottom. Coming up too fast overwhelms the lungs capacity to extract the residual nitrogen through respiration and that dissolved nitrogen starts to leave the bodily tissues as bubbles. the bubbles can/will agglomerate in the blood vessels and start circulating then it’s just a lottery as to where that bubble lodges, brain? heart? = dead cunt.

  4. Put one on the back of my bike, made no difference every other cunt tried to kill me (motorbike)

  5. Iā€™m always amused by those women – usually ā€˜celebritiesā€™ of the worst kind – who think they have achieved something by doing what mammals have done for 160,000,000 years.

  7. Back in the days before child car seats there was some value to baby/toddler on board signs.

    At least they alerted other people that the driver might be distracted by a screaming kid bouncing about in the back.

    Then there’s other signs,

    Mums taxi.
    If you can read this you’re too close.
    And of course,
    My other car is a Porche.

    Really pal? Maybe I’ll follow you home and nick it.

    • (First few years of having a car, I had a custom-printed “Freedom from religion” in my back windscreen ; – Horror font for the ‘r’ word).

    • Imagine the sticker in a Rotherham taxi…
      Mohammed’s ride. Crying, spunk-spattered 12 year old inside.

      • Glad to know you’re still with us Thomas. I missed your crudeness and enjoyed trying to compete. I’ve been on life support, sucking diarrhoea through a sweaty sock.

      • Why thanks, SS…I appreciate the sentiment.
        Just fancied a few weeks off as a palate cleanser before getting re-stuck in to pakıs, sootıes and tranĀ§bumders again.

      • @ Thomas, I too have missed your vulgarity. By far one of the most obscene cunts on here and one of the funniestšŸ˜

  9. Iā€™ve always interpreted ā€œBaby on boardā€ to mean ā€œtotal cunt behind the wheel using my child as an excuse for my shit, dangerous, drivingā€

    I try at all times to run them off the road. I see that as a proportionate response to their announcement.

    • Reminds me of the Viz top tip:

      Taxi drivers, make sure you remove your carā€™s indicator bulbs, in case you forget what you do for a living and inadvertently signal.

  13. I’m all for these badges if they also come with a non-cunt translation for added context based on the obvious implication.

    “Baby on board”

    Translation:

    “Yawning hippo on board”

  14. Ir as my brother woukd refer to his own children during their infancy, ‘meatbag on board’.

    • Harvey Price has a wonderful mode of transport to take him from the Mucky Mansion back to spaį¹£tic school…a horse-drawn medieval prison wagon where he can root around in the straw and bellow, rattling the bars of his cage, like Down’s Kong, before they pull into a layby so his mother can ease him through the rest of the journey by giving him a nice, calming blowie, like Gillian Taylforth administered to Geoff Knights.

  15. Lorries from Dover.. ‘cunts on board’
    Sunaks official car..’mr grimsdale’
    Katie price..’its ok Harvey’s driving’
    driverless cars..’im human’

    Babies on board, these days you’re lucky you can afford a fucking car šŸš—

  17. The reason I loathe those badges is because it is as though the car owner thinks he has a boat and he is the Captain – “on board”, calling the car “she”. Baby inside might sound sexest, so I’d suggest “Includes baby”, in the same way domestic appliances “includes battery”.

  19. How’s about custom no.plates? Will we do a separate cunting or just include them with this?

    The only one I ever wanted was H8 RED, but I never saw it listed anywhere.

  21. It’s a good job for me when I see one of these in a car. I know right away then not to ram into it at speed.

    Morning all.

    • I particularly like it when I see one that says ‘little princess on board’.

      Bless.

      • That is so cringeworthy, especially as the “princess” is usually an obese, snot encrusted brat who lisps baby talk in an eardrum-offending high pitched whine.

        Often seen crammed into the toddler seat in supermarkets, also.

  22. Just watching the news, lone female police officer goes after a nut job stabbing people in a Sydney shopping centre and blew him away, no fucking about.

    • Those who have these ‘Baby On Board’ signs are people who like to imagine they deserve everyone’s admiration for producing a kid, as though they’ve done the world a favour.
      What the sign should say is ‘Had Sex But Didn’t Have The Intelligence To Use Contraception’.

  24. Saw a car sticker years ago ā€œMy Dad says condoms donā€™t workā€

  25. I see one the other day and I quote ā€œ Autistic princess onboard. Please keep your distanceā€.

    So must we pay attention above and beyond what is normally required so not to crash because the people carrier in front has a socially awkward passenger with a PokƩmon card fixation?

    Most people who claim to have autism (and dyslexia) are making it up to excuse laziness anyway.

    ā€œDyslexic? Bone idle more likeā€.

    • Guaranteed to have had me tailgating, if I had still been a driver.

      Entitled much?

      • Not many Benny. I bet the no doubt obese mother demands special provisions are made for the kid and someone else has to pay.

        On a side note: notice how these people are always demanding ā€œtheirā€ this or that. ā€œWhereā€™s my money, my council flatā€¦my tens of thousands worth of resources to be thrown at the child I could not be arsed to bring up properly.

        They sicken me to the core.

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