Every company and its dog now appears to have/need a strapline.
How did it get like this?
Even a one-man operation window cleaner now must have a fucking strapline.
However, I`m in two minds about this nom as I only want to target the massive corporate inane straplines – you know the ones (hit the link above), and I`m sure you cunters can come up with some more `appropriate` phrases for most of them.
But they can also be rather clever and funny.
A few years back I remember there was an estate agents office on a street. Then one day a strapline appeared under the company name: “We Sell Houses”
Now, I don`t know if they were trying to be deliberately funny or if they`d brainstormed the marketing to such a degree that in the end they simply imploded and said `Aye, that`ll do.`
Anyway, a few weeks later the butcher’s, next door, put up a new sign under their shop name: I Sell Meat.
Which was funny.
Now, I could go on to the far end of a fart with this, suffice to say that the best strapline I`ve ever seen was on the side of a builder`s van …
Patel and Singh | Builders: “You`ve tried the Cowboys – Now Try The Indians” …
Toyota Owners
Of course, this now begs the question, ADMINS, what`s this site`s strapline?
Perhaps you can open the floor to us cunters and have a competition with prize(s)?(Vorsprung Durch Fackoff! – Day Admin)
I`ll start the ball rolling…
“ISAC – Because There`ll Always Be Cunts”.
Nominated by: Sam Beau
Looking forward to reading all the comments on this nom later. Regrettably, I’m not funny enough to participate so I’ll sit this one out. Have fun gentlemen💋
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Come on Jill, don’t misunderestimate yourself!
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HM Government:
‘Because we don’t give a shit about you’
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“Logisitics” is my bete noir – a major group with a fleet of massive lorries has logistics in it’s name, so does an old shagged out Thames Trader – Fred Smith Logistics. It is a snobby way of saying they move and carry things.
Labour seems to have given up their daft “for the many njot the few” as befits it’s multimillionaire Fuehrer, but now they indulge in silly “text conversations” on X (nee Twitter) . My son showed me the other day they think up a different one every day apparently. Load of horse shit.
A better one would be the old whores favourite “I can be anything you want me to be , dearie”
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‘Solutions’ pisses me off as much as ‘Logistics’. Pretentious fuckers. Near where I live on a Turkish barbers ‘Money Laundering Solutions (sir)?’ and on the chippy ‘Type Two Diabetes Solutions, You Fat Cunt’.
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Logistics, solutions and anything with 4U in the title. Cunts.
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AUDI – Tailgating you through your nightmares.
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Nike – Just Fuck it Up!
UK Border Force – Open All Hours
HMRC – We’ll Get Back To You. Maybe.
BBC – We’re Cunts!
Really too early in the morning to be thinking this deep. By chance am watching repeats of The Good Life, and Felicity Kendall’s tight little arse.
Hmmm “Bend over that bench, Baby” springs to mind for her particular strapline.
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UK Border Force – Open All Hours and to all.
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LabourList:
‘For belly laughs’
Editor and brand ambassador Lady Nugee.
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Emily is also Brand Ambassador for Complan.
‘The Complan diet really worked for me. I lost one ounce in 20 years.’
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The only time she loses weight is when she takes a shit.
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The Guardian – Because Our Opinions Are Worth Shit
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The Civil Service – The Ultimate Skiving Machine
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“Just when you thought the country couldn’t possibly sink any lower…”
Kweer Stormers “battle bus” during the forthcoming shitshow of an election.
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The Conservative party ‘battle bus’ strapline:
“If Labour are the answer, it was one fucking stupid question.”
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Dignitas Spring Sale For Benefits Scroungers – Just Do It
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The Labour Party.
Say it with antisemitism.
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On Rayner’s constituency office….’always open ‘
Abbott’s….’count on me’
any police station….’your neighbourhoods not being watched’
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Or Abbott’s “Best foot forward … err left foot… or is that right foot? Eerrr..left foot, I think hmmm”
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Met Police – Happy Ramadan!
The National Trust – Trashing Your Heritage Since 1895.
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Fanny by Gashlight. (Dep ldr Labour )
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that sounds like Angela Rayner’s signage on her front door!
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Islamic Interfaith Genocide – Every Little Helps
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Care4Calais “Blowing up dinghies 4 all your benefits”
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Stonewall – Probably The Most Evil Bunch of Perverts In The World
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Try that one again 😂
Stonewall – Probably The Sickest Bunch of Per-Verts In The World
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Right last one before I get too carried away:
Masturbators Anonymous – Because Once You Pop You Just Can’t Stop
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The Conservative Party – Pledging To Cut Net Immigration To The 10’s of Thousands Since 2010
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‘Omo adds Brightness to Whiteness’, ‘Persil Washes Whiter’, ‘Daz, have you seen the white?’ Soap powder ads were the best. Banned now, obvs.
Good morning, everyone.
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Peter Mandelson won’t recognise any one of those – he always uses Fairy.
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HMRC – Arbeit macht frei
Met Police – To serve and protect ( depending on skin colour and religious or political beliefs)
BBC London News – Only po@fs and dark keys
The Labour Party – Vote for us and we’ll sort immigration by erm….er….
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‘Stay home, Protect the NHS, save lives.’
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Then wreck the nation’s economy, thereby leaving the NHS in more need of saving than before.
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UK Border Force – Come on over to my place.
Harry Hewitt Saxe-Coburg – Comb on over to my place.
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ISAC – Because they’re worth it…
ISAC – This isn’t just cunts. This is cunts’ cunts…
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Anne Summers
A nice line of strap ons…..
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My strapping, ” bunch of cunts”.
Good morning the sun is blazing.
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Kier Starmer, here to cure insomnia for the whole of Britain.
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Anthony Linton: One man and his bog.
Harvey Proctor: Naughty boys report NOW for bottom marks.
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Royal National Lifeboat Institution: “We collect the rubbish your local dustmen don’t”
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Get fired up! – Tesla
Enjoy the walk – Landrover/Rangerover
Merge with the landscape – any SUV
That last one was actually and very briefly used in Volvo’s adverts years ago. Presumably dropped when a Brit pointed out to the Swedes that this was an expression used in the UK to describe the situation where you have lost control and departed the tarmac. Our daughters performed the trick four times in their teens, on one occasion putting the car in the river.
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Blimey arfur, are you Katie Price’s dad?
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