The giving out of awards to people, businesses and services for just doing what the are suppose to be doing.
The link in this nom is a prime example of the school sports day concept whereby everyone gets a medal for just taking part so they don’t feel a bit upset or inadequate. This has now manifested itself into the workplace, presumably because those kids who all got medals at school are now running stuff in the real world.
Now forgive me, but surely isn’t the most BASIC standard of service you should expect from the medical profession is “high-quality care” I mean, no one looks at Trustpilot before going into hospital for an operation and thinks ‘hmmm, my hospitals only rated a 3 star, but I will take a chance and rate it myself should I actually survive this operation’ and then in doing so, placing a review stating ‘well, I didn’t expect it looking at the previous reviews, but I ended up with some high quality care’
No one says ‘I’m going to this hospital because I really want some really shit, low standard of care‘ of course not, but in this country now, you get awards for doing what you should be doing, and those that aren’t providing high quality care aren’t investigated as to why not.
Bollocks
Nominated by: Chuff Chugger
What’s Kim Jong Un doing in Tunbridge Wells?
8
He’s only there because he heard dog was on the menu.
10
No, that’s his younger brother LL.
Fatty ate all his pies.
9
I Imagine the four in the header pic could put most people to sleep..Just by opening their mouths..
8
Just do your fuckin job you cunts.
I’m sick of hearing about care givers/ NHS workers and how grateful we should be.
I’m never ill.
You’ve done fuck all for me.
So don’t expect me rattling pots and pans on my doorstep.
Don’t see me getting a standing ovation for delivering your washing machine,
Don’t be so needy.
19
I think I’ve mentioned it before Mis, but I’m in awe of folks in your line of work who move automatic washing machines. Last time our elder moved house it nearly killed me sliding her machine three feet out of it’s hole in order to disconnect the hoses and the power.
When our younger moved house she needed a free standing wardrobe which I think was heavier than me taken downstairs. My mistake was enlisting my wife’s assistance. From the landing I planned to walk the brute down the stairs one step at a time. I was below and had the missus above to keep the wardrobe upright as we negotiated each step. On the second step down she did no more than tilt the wardrobe back at 45 degrees at which point it slid down the stairs from top to bottom sweeping me before it. Had there not been space at the bottom for me to roll away I would have been squashed like a fly on your fucking windscreen.
5
Evening Arfurš
Wow, you had a near miss there eh?
Easy to get hurt moving heavy stuff.
L
Friday I’m moving some big stone plinths,
Bench tops , for outdoors.
Told the lad working with me if one starts to fall , let it.
Rather pay for a replacement than him off with a broken leg.
Not looking forward to it.
4
Ps
If any grateful housewives thought I’d done a good job don’t bother arranging a award ceremony and trophy for me.
Maybe a tenner and a wank.
I’m not one for the limelight.
More your unsung hero.
16
Tit wank for going the extra mile š
12
..a fiver and they can piss on me while I wank myself
17
I got a monthly award for doing my job, it was called salary.
No idea what I did to get this award, all I did was turn up every day, did a decent days work and went homeā¦
Fucking amazing š
20
You should have got some sort of award for doing more than most cunts do.
10
Thatās true, extra credit for not sitting on my arse and claiming benefits.
8
Very good for moral by all accounts.
5
Woman, second left. Does she qualify for a free pair of shoe lifts for successfully pulling off the old āglasses on top of the head make you appear tallerā shortarse trick?
7
I don’t need no stinking awards I know I’m the best..
People breakdown and weep when they see my work..
No one dismember’s a corpse like me..
8
When I went into Lincoln after a heart attack I spent 12 hours in a queue behind drunks, junkies and time wasters. Then 36 hours on a trolley being ignored. When my heart stopped again nobody gave a fuck and my wife had to find a no speaky engrish ādoctorā. A doctor who ignored everything she and I said which nearly resulted in me making an early exit on the table due to the extreme vasovagal syncope she ignored and omitted from my notes. Fuck em all, excellence my arse. Cunts.
16
I also figured out how they meet all their A and E targets despite such shit performance. They give you a wrist band and log your time of arrival and time to treatment. I got wristband after the 36 hours on a trolley, about 10 minutes before a doctor turned up (and did sweet FA).
All targets met!!
12
If your heart stopped (not a vasavagal), without resuscitation, you’d be dead. And if you were having a confirmed STEMI, you’d be (almost) front of the queue for stents fitted etc. Resus brought in aside.
1
Total dog š©š©. Madness.I despair ā¹ļø
5
I get an award for waking up at the weekend.
A wank off my wife and if I have been extra good, sometimes a happy ending.
6
I agree…..your missus it very good at that Cuntus.
7
The wife said to me the other day, ānow that weāre no longer having full sex I suppose youāll be wanting a wank.ā
I said, āwellā¦ermā¦yeahā¦ermā¦if you wouldnāt mindā
āOk,ā she said, āIāll be waiting outside the bedroom door, let me know when youāre done.ā
2
My local hospital has just been awarded best new mosque…. well going of the last time i visited the amount of shoes outside was bigger than a Clarks warehouse š®āšØ
7
Perhaps next time take a bucket of dogshit (Dogs are haram to ragheads) and throw it over the shoes, let the shouty primitives walk home barefoot, just like in the old cuntry.
8
Did you steal the lot and put them in the “Hazard Waste” bin?
I would have, and thrown broken glass in place of the shoes!
Well, maybe not broken glass, I am a humanitarian, but dog shit, definitely.
2
You can’t be anymore rewarded than being given a job. The pay obviously.
1
Just like the previous nomination, there’s always room for improvement. Too many awards and praise can turn into satisfaction and people will sit back and live off the pedestal they’ve been put. Its a long drop. Just do your jobs. We’re not babies anymore.
4
Nothing wrong with awards for a job well done. Iāve lost count of the numerous awards received for my award winning shit cakes of a morning. Mr Kipling eat yer heart out!
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I’m not sure if I agree…….don’t all employers employ and pay people for ‘a job well done’ isn’t that the minimum level of expectation?
5
Do I detect a hint of jealousy that youāve not received any awards for the quality of your shit cakes?
5
Probably…..
3
Because Iāve had have some time off work then base myself at home because of a triple microdiscectomy in January my Mrs has been using my car and why not, free fuel all around.
So when I got in it for the first time last week the radio came on which is a proper no no for Cunty as I only ever listen to my choices on podcasts.
And there was some cunt smiling her fucking head off into the microphone (you just know donāt you) talking about excited she was that the Global Music ? awards were coming up and in the categories were š©š© and more š©
Honestly she sounded like she needed to change her fanny pad she was so excited (maybe she could go roller skating or ice skating too).
Genuinely I actually said just fuck off yet another bullshit self promoting award ceremony.
I used to have a boss who was and still is a cunt who was shameless. Heād go to the fucking opening of an envelope and genuinely went on stage in a number of occasions to collect awards for stuff that had nothing to do with him but he was the SD.
6
Think all tax payers should receive an award……….will get a lot cheaper for the government to provide awards for tax payers as the years go by in the UK.
On the news yesterday….a fifth of this shit countries working age population were deemed not to be actively looking for work.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-68534537
‘It means 9.2 million people aged between 16 and 64 in the UK are not in work nor looking for a job’
6
That figure only accounts for the 10 million gimmegrants Blair and his heirs have enticed to the UK since 1997.
When you add in the indigenous shirkers, benefit cheats, and so called “students” the total is considerably higher.
5
Itās all the Oscars are isnāt it? Luvvee cunts patting each other on the back for avoiding doing a real job by poisoning peopleās minds.
2
Excellent nom Chuff. As you say when it comes to medical matters, the very best care should be the basic minimum standard required. I notice in the link that the award is for the anaesthetists. Many people are understandably afraid of surgery. However a medic who is honest will tell you that the man of whom you should be afraid is not the surgeon but the anaesthetist. He can really fuck you up.
6
Thinking back to when the sad bastards round our way would feeb out of their front doors banging pots and pans, clapping and cheering in support of the NHS “heros”
Fuck that for a game of soldiers.
The reality was, our local medics went home, hid in the cupboard under the sink and have rarely emerged since.
The standard of medical care in our area is fucking egregious.
But that’s a subject that’s been covered in other noms.
4
Just a hunch but was probably overlooked in the ‘Covid Inquiry’; can’t say for sure as can’t trust ‘all the misinformation’ coming at me. Where are you Jacinda Horse Face or Susan W when I need you now? Eh?!
3
Quite right, arfur. I/we fuck up, someone dies.
I don’t like coroners courts.
0
Fuck them.
I wouldn’t accept an award from anyone who thinks I am worthy of such an accolade.
0
More precisely: anyone who thinks I would accept such an accolade.
Good evening.
1
Old tabby in header pic has rainbow lanyard which I bet she never takes off until she gets home so she can show everyone else how important and inclusive she is, probably a ” keyboarding skills team leader ” or summat equally fantastic.
4
What about an award for turning up for work? This is how low standards have fallen. Wanker boy at my organisation didnāt turn up today, as is mandatory on a Wednesday, because he was too tired from fasting. Fuckin Jesus Christ!
4
Slightly off road, but not long ago my wife received notice in the post of an award from Daxon, a shite clothing company.
It was presented in the form of a fancy scroll, which read:
ALLOCATION OF THE GIFT OF HONOUR
MRS BAKER, in recognition of your recent recommendation to us as a discerning woman of elegance and taste, the Management Committee of Daxon has unanimously decided to honour MRS BAKER by officially awarding her
THE REVERSIBLE QUILTED JACKET
Which is offered free of charge as an expression of thanks for her order.
(It was duly signed individually by the 5 supposed members of the Daxon Management Committee)
Needless to say Mrs Baker was not born yesterday, but I thought it worth preserving and framing.
It currently hangs on display in the toilet.
3
My favourite awards were the stupid cunts at my last place who would award stuff to themselves such as most promising banker , then tell everyone about it on LinkedIn, as if theyād won the Olympics .
You awarded yourself or your staff a trophy , nobody else you fucking knobs , nobody cares
1
CBEs, Knighthoods, Appointments to the HoL?
1
*Vasovagal
0