Urban Myths

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If there’s one thing I hate, it’s unsubstantiated and untrue myths in popular culture.

There are loads of them, and most of them are totally untrue ridiculous. Ones that spring to mind include…

Pete Best being a better drummer than Ringo.

David Jason being the Pete Best of Monty Python.

Marianne Faithfull and the ‘Mars Bar’ story.

The ’27 Club’ being more than coincidence.

Kit Marlow and/or that Earl of Oxford wrote the Shakespere plays.

Robin Friday was a better footballer than George Best.

Pink Floyd went shit after Syd Barrett left.

All the Paul is dead bollocks.

Walt Disney is frozen.

Some cunt saying some nameless guitarist they saw in 1966 was better than Jimi Hendrix.

Cunts only say/believe in this stuff to appear different to other people, and to make out they know something other people don’t.

‘But Robin Friday was better than George Best.’

Bollocks. Friday wasn’t as good as Stan Bowles, never mind Bestie.

BuzzFeed

Nominated by: Norman

70 thoughts on “Urban Myths”

      • Played for Reading in the 70s. They reckon he was a decent winger, and also a bit of a character. In other words he was always fighting with players and the referee.

        In the 90s, there was a campaign by writer Paolo Hewitt and that cunt who used to play bass for Oasis to market Friday as some sort of lost football legend. And ludicrous statements like he was better than Best and Cruyff spew forth. All bullshit, of course. And he is known now more for his temper and tantrums than he is for any football skills. If he had been that good, he’d have gone further than Reading. And most of the cunts who worship him never actually saw him play.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Friday

        with other players and the referee.

      • Sounds like a useless bastard. He wouldn’t get near a modern first eleven with that sort of discipline.

  3. You can’t beat a good myth, my favourite was marc almond had 2 pints of spunk pumped from his stomach.

    There has been a great one going around for years that this country is a multi cultural utopia.. even marc almond wouldn’t swallow that one..

    Good morning all.

  4. “Pete Best being a better drummer than Ringo

    Histographical note:

    I can tell you that on early “Ringo” sessions he was replaced by a sessioner, the late Andy White because producer George Martin didn’t think RS was up to if.

  6. Admin. I seem to be having trouble posting last couple of days. Anything changed?

    (Nothing that I can see, mate, although I have just released your most recent comment that went into the MQ for some odd reason. Perhaps its your turn to be picked on by WordFence! – Day Admin)

  7. “Diversity is our Strength”..

    There’s a myth for you..

    Spouted by Lying Cunts of Legendary status.

  9. I love urban myths and encourage the spreading of them.

    Bruce Lees body was so ‘pure’ that he died from taking a aspirin.
    His heart blew up.

    I was told that as a kid.
    Marvelous!

    I’m such a fan I’ve started to make up new ones.

    Stone roses singer Ian Brown had a routine blood test,
    And the doctors called him back in and told him his DNA was 75per cent chimpanzee.

    George peppard died and at his autopsy they found that he died from the chewing gum he’d swallowed over the years had wrapped around his lungs,
    Slowly choking him.

    Mike Tyson once hit a opponent so hard he detached his shadow.
    Sometimes at events in Madison square garden you see the confused shadow of a boxer wandering about.

    • Well yeah, Sixdog. That’s true now.

      The fact that the Glazers were allowed to financially gang rape an institution has made us just like any other run of the mill club.
      We can’t even compete with Brighton and Brentford, never mind City or Arsenal. And the fact that they depend on a cunt like Marcus Rashford shows what a joke it has become.

  12. Joanna lumley having a prosthetic arsehole due to being done round the back by gentlemen who used to sprinkle cocaine on the old john thomas. Make of that what you will.

    • That was Steed.
      Emma Peel told me an’ she reckons he did the same to her only it was the proper stuff not the cut with talc crap like the niggy nogs sell

  14. Diana: Princess of Wales and professional slagwagon, was murdered by Jug Ears and Queenie in 97/

    • I was exposed to this sort of stuff at a early age.

      My gran at any talk of Hitler would say

      “They never found his body,
      I think he’s still alive somewhere”

      Not sure if it was wishful thinking on her part?
      But Adolf was fairly famous,
      I reckon someone would recognise the new German bloke at work looks a bit like Adolf?

    • That one really honks me off as well Techno.

      Everybody knows it was Prince Phil who had Die whacked.

    • This from a man who is seemingly back-peddling on Brexit agreements in preparation for the next Labour government to overturn it with a 2nd referendum – which might be rigged in favour of a return to the cesspit called the EU and to remove our borders once and for all.

  16. A couple have been pushed by the media, and still are.

    Santa Claus being invented by Coca Cola, and that Michael Fish was wrong about the ‘hurricane’, he wasn’t. The great storm of 1987 was a storm, not a hurricane.

  17. The reason why Sparkletits and Fuckwit Harry left the UK was to value their privacy back in Canada/States!!

  20. Some of these myths are just plain insidious.

    One of the worst is that Elvis is actually dead. It’s been established beyond doubt that in fact he faked his own death, so that he could live in peaceful seclusion in the hills of Mississippi, eating deep fried bacon, jelly and peanut butter baguettes.

    Morning all.

  21. The Richard Gere urban myth was a little more detailed than that. I believe the method of gerbil insertion was through the medium of a bog roll tube… the bog roll tube is integral to the ridiculousness of the myth.

    The myth was probably started by some jealous husband (as was often the case in the 80’s and 90’s) who was sick of hearing how “Richard Gere looked so handsome in navy uniform in Officer And A Gentleman”.

    I grew up thinking that Richard Gere and Tom Cruise were gay because my Dad was always saying they were “obviously poofs”.

  23. Fantastic nom and a bit spooky as I’ve been considering writing one up on this very subject. Weird and that’s not an UM

    My daughter mentioned that fucking white farmstead in between the M62 at Saddleworth and how its owner had fought off the bulldozers……. 💤

    Who makes this shit up, how fucking bored must they be?? And I heard the same shit around 35/40 years ago so well before the age of the internet.

    As I explained, it was and still is a Tenant Farm, Landlord was the Water Authority, M62 built when all the water companies were state owned so NO the owner did not fight off the bulldozers because the owner was the state the same state that was building the road.

    Oh and the next time you drive past it have a look at the lye of the land and tell me it wasn’t done for engineering efficiency and cost purposes.

    Whilst wiping sweat off my brow bless her she said ‘flipping ‘eck Dad I was only saying’……..

    • I had a row with my son over that farm Mr Cunt face.

      I believed the myth.
      Its a better story 😀

      I was on the farmers side.

      ” That farm might of been in his family for generations!
      Good for the little bloke standing up to the man”

      My know it all, lefty son took a different view.

      ” He was standing in the face of progress, causing problems for his own selfishness”.

      I was that irrate I nearly crashed the van.

      Hes lucky there was nowhere to pull in or he’d of been hitchhiking home,
      The gobshite.

  24. I particularly enjoy the one that suggests there is no Michelle Obama, but a Mike Obama who wears a dress and a wig and conceals a giant salami underneath the loose attire.

    That certainly is a meaty looking beast concealed under baggy pants on the Youtube clip, there’s no denying it.

    • Isn’t the urban myth the other way around, that Barry married a woman named Michelle?

  25. Greyliens are merely dolphins from the future.

    Less urban, more cosmic, although I bet the person who spawned it was a Douglas Adams fan.

  26. Another good one is Scarlett Johansson shagged werewolf Benicio Del Toro in an elevator at the Chateau Marmont.

    Only thing is, I bet she did and all.

  27. Bob Holness off Blockbusters played Saxophone on ‘Baker Street’

    I’ll have an ‘E’ please Bob.

  28. Des Lynam has a moustache to cover up ‘fuck off’ he had tattooed on his top lip, after a bender in Torremolinos in 1970 because England got knocked out of the quarter finals in Mexico.
    Alf Ramsey told me that.
    In the pub.

  29. All the Led Zeppelin ones are hilarious.

    Page putting curses on people, the red snapper story, John Paul and the trannie, numerous Bonzo tales. As Robert Plant himself said, it’s hard to separate myths from the truth.

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