People who WFH (work from home)

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for depriving burglars the opportunity to rob their house.

Guardian

I didn’t know if I should laugh, or cry, when I read this.
Is he feeling sorry for the burglars?
Glad that the crime figures are lower?
Suggesting that every household should have someone wfh all the time, because it discourages burglary?

I’m really not sure that someones physical presence is much of a deterrent, unless they happen to be a 200lb gorilla. Work from home, by all means, but get a GSD, or a Rottie, just for the company of course.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

88 thoughts on “People who WFH (work from home)”

  1. That’s all right mr bell-end..
    They are probably ransacking empty offices as we speak..

    He is alright working from home, you only need a sheet of paper and your favourite coloured crayon to produce articles for the guardian..

  2. It’s not just burglars who are feeling the pinch, it’s muggers too.
    Who are Rastus and Delroy going to rob of their jewellery, iPhones and Rolexes if no one’s going to the office?

    Ergo, WFH is racist.

  4. Guardian readers would offer to tie themselves up whilst apologising for slavery whilst watching their “partner” being bummed into a coma.

    Torsten would happily hand his telly over if he could be bummed as well.

    What a bunch of pathetic cunts.

    Oven.

  5. Working from home may have reduced burglaries, but I’ll bet there is huge proliferation in dodgy tarmac jobs done on driveways by cheeky characters with Irish accents.

    • You’re not wrong, I’m retired, not wfh, but the ” No Cold Callers” sticker on my front door must be written in some archaic form of Sanskrit or summat, judging by the number of fucking cold callers I get.

      Thank God for Ring doorbells.

      • As do I.

        I have many amusing recordings of people looking like a rabbit caught in headlights, with me shouting “fuck off” through the speaker.

    • I have a front gate and lock it up. Once locked, no implied right of access. This keeps out Jo’hohs, Tv Licensing etc. A once tasteful but now rusty Post Box is attached to the gate, making it obvious for the postie what to do. Couriers just dump at the gate and go. Fine by me.

      I realise not everyone has a front gate, but great if you have one. I only rent, so make the most of it.

  6. Katie Price’s Mucky Mansion has a 200lb gorilla defending it (when he’s home from mọng school)

  8. Did anyone have Fred Elliot from Corrie in the Deadpool, I say, did anyone have Fred Elliot from Corrie in the Deadpool?

  9. What a total cunt the journalist Bell (end) is from the Cuntian is. My neighbours WFH and yet one of them was broken into a couple of weeks ago.

    • Some good news for a change, though I expect we’ll be paying for the bitch’s next appeal.

      • She’ll now have to appeal to the ECHR, we definitely won’t fund that.

        There’s no further she can go in the UK.

        BTW, it’s interesting the two of the three judges were female, so, not getting loads of support from the Sisterhood, there.

    • Afternoon Norman.
      Hopefully they’ll sterilise her before dropping her off at the Taliban training hut so she can’t breed any more mini terrorists.

    • I’ve said it elsewhere, the terrorist bitch’ll be in a 5 bedroom council house by the end of the year. The only time courts in this country get listened to is if some poor, demented old bag gets taken to court because she can’t afford to pay her TV licence, or Tommy Robinson gets arrested for going for a walk.

      • Real name…..

        Oh, please, stop it!
        How many years are we going to get
        X, formerly known as Twitter?

        Who gives a fuck?

    • It’s almost like there must be an election looming – some common sense, roads being repaired, country shoppers being banged up….
      Won’t last when Brian the snail gets in.

  11. I don’t know why lemon sorbet is banging on about burglaries, that so last year..

    Violent home invasions are the next big thing.. you can be hosting a zoom call for work, but if half a dozen tooled up porch monkeys decide to kick your door in and rob you.
    Best let them get on with in.

    It’s like those smug verisure adverts..
    “Oh yes jeremy you should definitely get one” ” it’s such a peace of mind knowing your safe”

    At least you will pictures for you photo album of you being assaulted.

    And no point giving the police the images, those cunts couldn’t find a bloke with half his face burnt off.

      • Indeed, Moggie, but it has no teeth, protective urge or prey drive.

        and if your arthritis is so bad you can’t actually grip, a GSD ( or similar) IS the answer.

      • Jeezum points out the great advantage of a dog Moggie, they are not “trigger shy.” If their mindset is to defend their master they will not fucking hesitate.

  12. Both the missus and daughter occasionally work from home.

    Fair play if you’re employer is happy with it.
    They reckon they get more done?

    As for theiving cunts there’s no better deterrent than a big dog or two.

    I learnt as a lad gypsies aren’t keen on German shepherds.
    We had two and the big male was always keen to tango.

    ” Mister! Dem dogs on a lead?”

    I’d hiss gently under my breath which would set the dog off growling and barking,
    Teeth flashing,
    Lovely👍

    My dream world would be one where I’m employed to set large dogs on naughty types.

    I remember seeing those dog handlers in 80s south Africa under apartheid setting dogs on sooties
    And considered asking that nice Mr Savile if he could fix it for me to have a go.

    • He he he, excellent!

      I had GSD cross ( with a snapping alligator turtle, or a JRT). I’d advertised on My Builder for a quote to cut down overgrown privet.

      This, ahem, gentleman turns up, looks over the fence and quotes a ridiculous sum. I say no, he forces his way into my house, shouting.

      The dog is straight over the back of the sofa, snarling and growling ( frightened me, a bit, tbh). I’ve never seen anyone move so fast!

      Good dog, you! Always loved.

      • Reminds me of an event back in Brum in the eighties. A friend of a friend kept a big dog, breed unknown to me. He returned home from work one afternoon and found the back door standing open. He entered very cautiously and in the lounge this reprobate was squatting in a corner with the dog a foot in front of him staring him out. The villain appeared to be too frightened to blink or fart. The householder trying to sound all confident said, “Keep him there boy” and went next door and phoned the police. To his great relief, not to say delight they took the malefactor away in handcuffs.

    • My employer makes everyone work at home one or sometimes two days a week. I found it took some getting used to but is OK now and you gain a couple of hours a day by not travelling. I can go out at lunchtime to the bakery and greengrocer which are closed when I finish work usually. One thing I have noticed is how there is a different collection of people out and about at about 1 or 2pm , like people who wear 3 face masks at once or carry a big jar full of 5p’s to pay for stuff, and a lot seem to stink like polecats and enjoy picking petty arguments with shop staff. It is a bit like a mutant takeover, and as if by magic, they have all vanished by about 4pm.

      • Saw a lot of those types in Gloucester the other day when I was there on my day off. Mind you, it has always been something of a hot-spot for social undesirables

  13. This is a licence to be lazy.
    I notice these indolent fuckers don’t hand back their London weighting.

  14. ‘I wank from home’ while staring at Euro porn. Does that count…?

  15. What I find amusing about the Guardian and Progressive Lefty-types, is that they’re actually condoning the huge rise in shoplifting across the country, and blame it on the government and the Cost of Living crisis.

    On that illogical reasoning, does that mean robberies, muggings and burglaries are also perfectly okay with these twats?

    I suspect Rupert and Pippa would be well pissed off if they were pickpocketed and/or robbed at knifepoint by a couple of “gangstas from d’hood!”

    Although even then they would tell the police it was a couple of far-right white males that tried to kill them.

    • It seems not to have crossed their minds that these genuine asylum seekers won’t target us piss poor right wing scum (who are also handy with, and also prepared to use, a weapon) when there are so many accommodating, rich, cowardly, full of shit, lefty, property owning donors available.

  16. Is there actually anything in the article suggestng Mr Bell is upaet?

    He just seems to be reporting on trends.

    • Sorry, CP.

      But he came off as if burglary was a daytime job that people wfh were preventing them from doing to me, either that or he was happy the crime was down, I really couldn’t make my mind up.

      It was fence sitting, Olympic gold style.

  17. ” ooooh those poor burglars are suffering, especially the black ones!
    Pass the caviar please Cressida”

    Thorsten looks a right little wet wanker.

    He thinks burglars are down on their luck, decent people desperately trying to get food for their kids, forced into crime against their will.

    Burglars are dirty smackhead cunts who prey on the unwary, the elderly, the weak , the defenceless.

    Someone beat a burglar to death?
    Your secrets safe with me!
    I wouldn’t contact the police.

    You’ve done a public service in my book.
    Fuck the cunt.

    No reoffending.

  18. How about the police catching fucking burglars and the CPS giving them decent sentences and not on a sample charge with 4 million offences taken into account.

  19. If you work from home, you must be working elsewhere. Its only people who work in other places that work from home.

  20. Ring doorbell sounds like something at the door of a gayboy brothel, my burglar deterrent is 7st of finest German teeth and muscle shaped as a Doberman . When I had the Forge with its piles of old horseshoes out the front the Redskins were always prowling my Doberman at the time Max hit the door bust the lock and the fuckers scaled the transit pickup faster than Sherpa Tenzing, twas a beautiful sight to behold. Cant beat a hound with a snarky reputation for scaring the cousins. Old Max also bit the milkman in the stones for coming through the side gate unannounced , bet his mrs got cottage cheese that night.

    • Civvy, when your nearly 70, and your doggo is an elderly chihuahua, who can’t pull hard enough to tip you on your arse, you will find that a Ring doorbell, with camera, is your best friend.

      You can’t imagine, can you?
      Because you are immortal.

      • I’m well on me way to 70 , but I may be immortal as I’ve been hovering on the brink of death thrice in past 30 years and I’ve beat me way back., jammy fucker I am

      • Civvy@

        What you said about a dog with a reputation is spot on.

        I’ve a akita, and once was walking her and further up the road came 2 hoodies with a Pitbull.

        One panicked,
        “Scrote 1 Quick grab the dog!”

        Scrote 2″ why?”

        Scrote 1 ” that’s that akita, it’s killed 2 dogs!”

        Total bollocks.
        But I’m happy for them to believe it.
        Keeps them away.

      • Absolutely MNC all of my Dobermans have been soft as shite, the nastiest one is the Cocker we have but he has a screw loose, and all the Jacks I’ve had have been ace not snappy little feckers as people would have you believe

      • All cockers have a screw loose, and as for JRTs, fuck me, don’t they know how diddy they are?

      • My old boxer dog ftom the noughties had a reputation amongst my mates as being gay. He used to leap up at boys in shorts.

        Used to joke with my brother about the dog on his excursions up to London to ‘take in a show’ then dine at Claridges with theatrical pooves asking ‘shall i be mother?’ when the afternoon tea was served.

        But then again, i am completely fucking mental.

    • Both of my Jack Russell’s lose their shit when they see a darker hued pedestrian passing the house. Racist little buggers 😀

      • All my dogs have been bigots.

        Didn’t have to train em,
        Picked it up natural like!

      • Our Border Collie goes fucking mental when anyone comes near The Rookery.

        She’s a lovely dog, but quite feisty. Not overly big, but solid, like a little tank, and she doesn’t back down when it comes to other dogs.

        I had her out for a walk, a few nights ago and some kind of Bull Terrier came flying at us. She met it head on, all snarly and really going for it, as was the BT.

        I gave the cunt a kick and it backed off, then it came again.

        By this time the adrenalin was pumping like hell and with true Rorke’s Drift spirit, we managed, between us, to bite, gouge and kick the fucking bastard away a second time.

        It half heartedly contemplated another go, but I had now got my Powerful Gestapo Torch on it, and it was a bit wary of the bright light.

        Taking advantage of its hesitancy, we fucked off in good order back to The Rookery.

        I’m sure The Hound enjoyed her scrap. I can’t say the same for meself. My dicky ticker isn’t really up to these kind of shenanigans any more.

        Good evening, ( time for walkies now )

      • Evening Jack👍

        Why wasn’t the bull terrier on a fuckin lead?

        Carry a stick pal.
        Give the fuckin thing a dentist appointment if it does it again.

      • MNC@. It was on its own. Perhaps it had got out or been dumped.

        I’ve started carrying me Shelaleagh again, much to Ethel’s consternation. It’s lead loaded and is obviously an offensive weapon.

        Fuck it, needs must.

        Alright pal 👍

  21. Regardless of WFH, the Filth give criminals a free pass nowadays. Burglary, breaking and entering, GBH? Fuck off! They’re not interested. But misgender a tranny… your feet won’t touch the ground.

  23. PS. The torch is just an ordinary LED, with ‘ Property of Herr Flick ‘ scratched on to it.

  24. I work from home and do 2 days a week in the office in Londonistab. I feel like I’ve been abused once I’ve had to mix with my ‘colleagues’, who are all cunts, except one of them. Thank fuck I don’t have to see them everyday. Having to interact with them is like a living farce. A cast of miserables, stupids and arrogant cunts. Never seen the like of it in all the years I’ve been working. Pays the bills, that is all. However, it costs me £400 a month just to go to Londonistab and ‘work’ with these people.

    I like being at home and having my dogs about; they just miss me when I’m away.

    The Guardian seems to exist because of donations from rich lefty twats. It needs to just go bankrupt and die.

  25. I dont like the idea of working from home. Home is where i relax and i like getting out the house in the week.

  26. Work from home.

    Civil Servants charter to skive.

    Ban it.

    Ps the Drs are on strike again. Don’t forget to clap as a your relative dies through lack of NHS appointments.

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