Stupid Unsexy TV Antiques “Experts”

Possibly her best side, her back side. C.A.

I would be grateful if you would award a cunting for these unattractive thick slappers whose tv careers have gone from strength to strength by virtue of appearing on BBC (who else?)
Bargain Hunt.

My much loved wife is an avid fan of this programme and it’s various offshoots but I forgive her because she has early onset small-vessel disease vascular dementia.

I happen to be in the same room whilst she’s watching this tosh and I have come up with my list of “batty Bargaincunt Babes”First off (and I’m guessing that some people on this site are so sexually indiscriminate that they think she’s fit) is Christina Trevanion.

This bitch whose head is wider than Stewie Griffin’s and who has a sister with Down’s who looks just like her flirts with all the dealers that she’s buying from buy giggling uncontrollably like a fucking idiot.

It’s not sexy. If she laughs like this incessantly for no reason what do you think she’d be like if you flopped your todger out !?

Next in line is the ginger-haired inane giggler who has not progressed further than being a 6 year old silly little girl.

This gurning imbecile with teeth like Bugs Bunny just can’t stop chuckling at absolutely everything. Not only that, but there’s no way that her collars and cuffs match!

I almost forgot to mention the lunatic Natasha Raskin Sharp who must burn up 3000 Calories per show simply by laughing her head off. The Scottish-accented cunt is clearly of unsound mind.

She is so doolally that she probably forgets to wipe her arse after visiting the lavatory.

Not at all giggly but blessed with a soft immature voice is the dithering blithershit Kate Bliss. This posh-talking simpleton went to Oxford don’t cha know. How the fuck is that even possible!?All I know is that the cunt must have strong family connections.

Another idiot is that piece of milfy slutty-looking readers’ wives wank-fodder Catherine Southon .Yet another failure.

I used to fantasise about her sitting on my face but in reality I reckon that her pussy and bum crack have got bits of stale toilet paper stuck to them.

Finally, Roo Irvine who has an antique shop in the wilds of . Well all I can say is she must have a wealthy and forgiving husband. If she runs her shop with the same degree of incompetence that she displays on the telly he must be constantly bailing her out financially.

I must come across as being a misogynist, but no matter how hard I try I’m afraid that I don’t find any of them sexy.



Nominated by cuntator, with extra link provided by C.A.

101 thoughts on “Stupid Unsexy TV Antiques “Experts”

  1. I don’t watch it as I’m somewhat of a antiques snob myself.

    Commemorative plates depicting the royals mainly ordered from the back of magazines.

    And dull brown furniture full of woodworm I paid over the odds for.

    I like to buy it in cramped shops where you trip over stuff and the proprietor is a flamboyant homosexual.

    • I bet you’ve got some of that quality tat that they used to sell on the back page of VIZ, haven’t you. Who can forget such classics as ‘Life of Christ’ depicted by Cats, ‘The Baliffs’ and of course the legendary ‘Elvis Presley, Dambusters clock plate of Tutankhamen’!

    • John Beswick animals (in rampant stances only) and eighties Lilliput Lane miniature cottages only.

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your wife, cuntator.

    As for Bargain Hunt, I’ve never seen it and so have never heard of any of these tarts. However Mrs Twatt has made me suffer Antiques Shitshow on numerous occasions. The one thing you know for certain is that each week Fiona Bruce will disappear up her own arse.

  3. notice that no men were included in this cunting. are you a chutney ferret cuntator🤔🤭🤗

    • maybe into Charles Hanson? he’s into some slap and tickle…..literally more slap than tickle recently tho.

    • Last time I watched Bargain Hunt, several years ago, it was hosted by a man. Who cares what presents it these days? The premise of the show is retarded because you don’t buy at retail prices to sell for profit back at a discounted place.

      The cunting sounds misogynistic and misses the point that the show itself is a pile of cack. Why is anyone on this site still watching BBC anything?

  4. For their cuntness and sins, send them to my place for a good punishing. Ill even do it twice, to be sure.

  5. That her in the header pic?

    Fine lass👍

    I don’t know what this rampant hatred towards our leading female experts in antiques is about but as a leading advocate in womans rights I don’t approve.

    Sisters united!✊

  6. I think it’s the same programme but I would pork Izzie Balmer with my candelabra.

  7. Louise gostelow and steph connell though, your welcome. All others can rot for trying too hard.

  8. Christina Trevanion, oh dear me yes, also that big bottomed overgrown schoolgirl Caroline Southon.

      • hell of a figure in a bikini before she got married and pupped have a quick you tube search…must be on there. she got out a pool while presenting place in the sun.

        would be referred to as a ‘borderline boiler’ in the days of loaded magazine. when the face says no, but your nuts say go.

        takes me back

      • That’s fine with me. Don’t mind a big schnoz on a lady. I think her dad is Lebanese.

        Always been more of a curves man anyway.

      • I remember Borderline boilers. Said a lot more about the editors of Loaded than the supposed ‘boilers’.
        Scared of anything taller than 5’4” over size 10, or didn’t look pumped with silicone, permatanned and airbrushed.

    • Guzzi@

      You’d have more moral superiority is you didn’t have your undercrackers around your ankles and took off your gimp mask.

  9. Never heard or read the names of these ladies you referred to. Will have to tune into the next programme to see why it was necessary for you to describe them the way you did.

    If you look upon women for sexual attraction alone and criticise the way they look, you come across as misogynistic. If you find women friendly and what they are for themselves, you’d be a philogynist similar to myself.

    • Don’t worry Barry. There is not unsurprisingly a spattering of blicks and raggies to fill the ranks.

      That Danny Sebastian’s voice and his presenting is really cuntish. On the eye, Caroline Hawley looks ok, but just don’t let her open her mouth either (just do a quick youtube search)…sounds like Keith lemon doing his scary spice impression.

      Difficult wank that was.

      That Roo Irive, is actually very attractive, although I have noticed she is starting to plump up in the traditional way of her ‘back ground’ of late…. unfortunately.

  10. Poor old Catherine has aged like a slice of shoe leather and she’s carrying some lard too.

    Best on there now is Irita Marriot…she’s kinda stepped into Catherine’s mid priced shoes.

  11. That Anita Manning has a hair cut that looks like Christopher Columbus’ hat.

  12. Trouble with the modern world. We think attractiveness is a measure of talent. We now have untalented cunts who look pretty getting jobs they can’t do!

    Look good but can’t sing? Auto tune. Look good but can’t act? No problem.

    If I want my antiques valued by a hottie I’ll take them to a glamour model and expect a shit valuation. If I want an accurate valuation I’ll dig up an Arthur Negus.

  13. A grievously mistaken cunting.

    Natasha Raskin Sharp, Christina Trevanion, Izzie Ginner Balmer and Roo Irvine are well fit.
    Kate Bliss and Catherine Southon, are both double baggers, on that we agree.

  14. Don’t watch it, don’t know any of these people, but I will tell you antique purveyors are as dodgy as hell.

    Offered me a fiver for a walnut drop-leaf writing bureau, with all its original fittings, and some of the nicest dovetail joints I’ve seen in a long time, on the grounds that it was “a bit scratched”

    I think “get to fuck” was my response.

      • I have indeed, I need new curtains. There’ll be more than enough material for the entire house, and slip covers for the sofas.

      • No, LL, I need the tiebacks to match.

        See MNC, below.

        Maybe dogs basket, if under 5p.

      • the taxpayer would have paid for it, so effectively we all own it.

        dodgy grifting cunt. glad she’s gone at a young age, well any age but a young age tells me there is some karma out there to be had

      • Ho ho, I’ll bet it’s got Mr Cunt Engines crusty dried jiz staines upon it.

        Kinda like that dress old Bill Clinton messed up.

  15. Who remembers the rather lovely Bunny Campione from Antiques Roadshow?
    In her late 70s now, but was a right nice bit of mature skirt back then.
    In fact I probably still would now.

    • Yes..well done for remembering her. I was a lot younger then, but could still appreciate a fine bit of milf…..and she was.

      • best bit of rice was her arse. awful childlike voice, eyes on boggles and when she smiled she looked like bingo off the banana splits

  16. Antiques are seen as a bit Ducky Darling.
    Or a posh lads indulgence.

    But it’s just stuff that’s been made with craftsmanship, a bit of pride,
    That just happens to be old.

    It’s old because it’s quality.
    It’s not cheap shite that only lasts a few months.

    Ceramics and pottery?
    Stoke on Trent.
    Renowned for it!
    It’s called the potteries for a reason.

    Here in the UK we made some great stuff back in the day.
    It’s still worth money££££
    Sometimes many times it’s original price.

    I can see the appeal if I’m honest.

    • I’ve got some nice pottery, I use it to tap my fag ash in!

      Seriously, I’ve got Clarisse Cliff, Suzy Cooper and some really unusual Burslem ware yoyo vases.

      I love extraordinary things.

      Next post, more Japanese weirdos.

      • JP@

        That fine pottery from Stoke,
        Gypsies go doolally for it.

        I remember loads came over from Ireland camped for weeks to buy a new tea service that was coming out.

        It’s a status symbol for them.

  17. All this talk of sexy birds got me thinking back.

    When I was younger, I spent time in Australia. While there I found a copy of Sports Illustrated Swinsuit Special in my mate’s house. It had Elle MacPherson on the cover and inside it.

    I Hilary Swanked so much, I nearly passed out.

  18. Antiques seem to attract the nice ladies,I remember Lovejoy having to beat the clunge off with a shitty stick in the 80’s.Lucky poofter.

  19. Wasn’t there some strange curly headed child sometime back who was an antiques expert who went on to have a sex change?🤔

  20. OP is wrong about Christina Trevanion. She’s gorgeous and classy. She also knows her subject.

    I especially like when she wears the long leather boots, but I’ll say no more about that.

  21. The last antique dealer I recall on the BBC was some cunt named Lovejoy.

    The arse in the nom pic looks like that Carol Voldemort thing.

    Why is anyone still watching the BB fucking C, the cunts were clambering over themselves yesterday to claim Israel bombed the Iranian memorial, now it’s come to light it’s another branch of the religion of peace (ISIS chapter) the cunts drop the narrative quicker than a hot coal. Fuck the lot of them.

  22. I’ve tried to explain twice why I posted this nom.
    Twice they’ve been deleted.
    Does the truth hurt?

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