National Lottery (3) – Set for Life

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So I’m in the queue to buy fags in Sainsbury’s and there’s always some cunt in front of me ( always a bloke by the way) who wants to buy a “set for life ticket for tomorrow”. What the fuck is this “set for life” bollocks?

So I looked it up and, apparently, you get ten grand a month for thirty years. That’s nice but that ten grand is going to depreciate year on year and what happens when you snuff it? And I hardly think that the likes of Hewitt and Sparkletits are going to notice ten grand going into their bank account.

Bread and circuses my friends, that’s all it is. Absolute bollocks.

National Lottery

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

47 thoughts on “National Lottery (3) – Set for Life”

  2. I also notice on the Website the price has gone up on every game.

    Though I did enjoy the stories of cunts blowing it all, like that chav binman who tore though ten million..
    Still he would make a good chancellor of the exchequer.

  3. I don’t know about anyone else but £120k a year is a lot of money to me.

    I’d pay off a chunk of the mortgage and put a load in a private pension fund in the first 2-3 years.
    No buying tasteless shite. That’s for the fuckwits in the premier league and the nouveau riche that buy garish jewellery and crap.

    The truly rich people or the people that come from old money don’t go in for any of that shit. They buy assets that make them more money.
    The ultimate goal surely is to have enough money to never have to work again and be financially free….and country cream gates.

    • Surely 10k a month would mean right off the bat that you don’t have to ever work again? Even allowing for depreciation.

      I’d wager not many of us are on that kind of wage, we’re not all from old money like fiddler.

  4. Odds of 15,300,000 to 1? Fuck that! That’s not gambling, it’s voluntarily paying extra tax.

  5. A junk of the money you donate goes to some fat-cunt CEO of one of the big charities; and a small chunk wings its way to Mbtebbe in deepest Mozambique so that him and his 6 bros and 6 bitches can walk the 15 miles to the nearest piss-filled watering hole with new pots on their heads.

    As for £10k per month. Well its better than nothing; although if you’re on benefits you’ll moan that a) the benefits will be stopped due to means-testing, or b) you can keep both but it still won’t be enough to live on (especially now Sky, BT, Netfux and Disney have all ramped up their prices!)

      • Or electrified Country Cream gates unless they are already or do you prefer to have someone open them for you and salute as you ignore them?

      • I think I would splash out too and buy some new wellies, the posh ones without holes in and covered in sheep shit.

      • Maybe not electric gates, maybe electrified to keep the great unwashed out….⚡⚡⚡

  7. The National Lottery can fuck off.

    If the odds aren’t fifty fifty then it’s not gambling its maths science.

    I do not like maths science.

    A load of Jeremy Hunts.

    Good morning.

    • As I say to my sceptical wife every time I buy a lottery ticket, the odds are a little short of astronomical. And yet people do win.

      There is only one known way to ensure winning the jackpot. That is to buy at least one lottery ticket for every possible number combination – about 14,000 tickets.

      Mathematically, the best way to win is not to use favourite dates but the random lucky dip. I always do this and last week, finally, I won – £10.00.

      • Everyone would buy 14.000 tickets if that was possible.

        Buying every possible combination of there is 59 balls would be…..

        59 x 59 x 59 x 59 x 59 x 59

        Just over 42 BILLION tickets at £2 each.

        £84 billion to win a few million.

      • Not quite as bad. 6/59 X 5/58 X 4/57 X 3/56 X 2/55 X 1/54 which equates to just over 1 in 45 million. Impossible enough though.

  8. For 10K a month you could pay for a lot of extra police according to Diane Flabbott.

  9. one advert shows 2 shirtlifters. Getting married etc. Makes me want to buy whatever it is just as much as the blacks and mixed race couples in every other advert.

  10. I remember a TV doc about Viv “Spend Spend Spend” Nicholson.

    She won something like £150k on the Littlewoods pools back in the early 60s. That 150 grand would be equivalent to around 4 million today taking into account inflation.

    She and her hubby went on a mad spending spree for years but ended up broke divorced/widowed, an alcoholic and suffering from dementia, all due to her lavish/affluent lifestyle.

    She disowned her family and friends and wanted to enjoy a middle class lifestyle, even though she was just an ordinary working class person.

    A classic tale of rags to riches, to rags again.

    • Sounds like Sparkletits, although I imagine she’s got the next mega rich bastard already lined up……a bit like Jackie Kennedy and that old Greek cunt.
      Fuck me, ten grand a month wouldn’t even pay her gardening bill.

      • Back when Bill Gates was the boss at Microsoft it was said (probably bullshit) that due to his mega-wealth in 1999, if he saw $5,000 on the pavement he would walk past because stopping to pick it up would be a waste of time and money because his wealth increased by $65,000 per minute (or $4m per hour or about $34bn per year)

        Today he is roughing it on around $110bn, compared to the $200bn+ Elon Musk is worth.

        You can buy an awful lot of artisan country cream gates for that!

      • I presume you mean her lady gardening bill, Freddie? Do you think she keeps it nicely trimmed or has had it all cut down?

    • I remember watching a TV drama about this years ago when I was a kid. It was called Spend, Spend, Spend.

      • My old man said she used to stand on the terrace at Wakefield Trinity in a full length mink every game fucking and blinding like a trooper. She also put all her kids through private school.

      • I remember another TV series about all this called ‘Jammy, jammy, bastards, you fucking jammy bastards….lend me a couple of hundred’

    • Canned mine, don’t want to watch their shit and I certainly don’t want to pay their pensions!

      Of course being a public broadcaster it will end up being our problem because if the BBC can’t pay it out of licence tax the government will pay it from direct taxes.

    • I thought BBC ‘stars’ were contracted, so the BBC should bear no pension liability towards them. Unlike the executives, who are employees. Shows how much I know.
      Ditched the BBC Tax five years ago. Rejoice. Victory.

    • So they’ve figured out 30 years after everyone else that final salary pensions aren’t affordable

      I wonder if they’d have figured it out earlier if someone else hadn’t been paying for it all this time

      Cunts

  13. My piss is boiling just reading this nom. Lottery cunts in shops, can you check these scratch cards? Oh and these tickets? If you’re not able to check your own cards and tickets you ain’t really smart enough to have money!

    No winners? Guess you’ll have to waste another 10 minutes of everyone’s day choosing the next 30 quids worth of losing numbers and cards then…….but wait, maybe if you substitute aunty Linda’s birthdays for the cats birthday you’ll win, erm spend a couple of minutes dithering.

    Apart from the fact the lottery is making these cunts noticeably poorer month on month it’s also stealing everyone else’s time.

    It’s a pox on the nation.

  14. 10K a month would by some high class pussy, and a good supply of viagra 😂

    I think I would prefer a few million in one lump, there is no way I would benefit for the 30 year bollocks.

  15. £10k a month is the earned equivalent of £200k per year.

    You could live very comfortably on that if you were sensible.

    I’m not, so I would spunk the lot on fast cars, Charlie and impossibly beautiful Russian prostitutes.

    • Why not save some your cash and visit Newcastle city centre on a Friday or Saturday night? Plenty of tricked up cars; drugs and Brit chav bints by the names of Trace, Shaz, Kaz, and Babez

      Or so I’ve heard anyway.

  16. Gambling is a mugs game. The old cliche. My parents put me off throwing away money from childhood. We had fuck all, yet 6d each way on an outsider at the then illegal back entry bookies, is what they lived for. It was the forties when that tanner was a mini fortune and could’ve fed the family that day.

  18. Speaking of rich cunts I see Linekunt has finally come out with his usual leftie Jew hating bollocks. The only cunt missing now is Welby, the Peaceful’s friend. Come on Justin, you old pooftah, give those rent boys a rest.

    • What I don’t get about Lineker, is that the last time he was in trouble it was an oblique reference (although not very) to how Germany treated Jews in the 30s , which he was using to illustrate what he deemed a bad thing .

      Now…. He seems to not like them.

      He’s the best ever example of a little learning being a dangerous thing.

      At least most thick cunt footballers keep their mouth shut and concern themselves with which slut they are going to roast that evening

      Imagine Rooney giving his views on Middle Eastern politics

  19. The odds of winning the national lottery are over 42 million to one.

    If you beat those odds you will get a few million.

  20. Stupidity tax.

    Ridiculous odds and if you win it’s a tiny proprtion of the money in the pot.

    Better off with the gee-gees/football/ casino/poker, although some of the betting companies don’t like paying out and have to be taken to court.

  21. Fuck all chances of winning, especially when like me, you don’t buy a ticket!

    Still, 10k a month ain’t to be sneezed at. That would buy me and the wife plenty of five star hotel luxury in Spain and Italy.

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