Kids Not Toilet Trained at School

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We all know the three Rs, reading, writing and wiping…what?.. hang on. Yes arse wiping is on the school curriculum courtesy of lazy self-entitled parents who now think it is the responsibility of teachers to toilet train their kids because of their busy lives.

They probably think since schools feed the little fuckers with breakfast clubs and free school meals in the holidays why shouldn’t you change a few nappies? It should be pointed out some of these are six year olds, not toddlers…its just another manifestation of thinking that the state should provide for everything without any personal responsibility. Toilet train your own child? How fucking dare you!

The poor teachers, I bet you thought it was all six week holidays and drag queen story hour. You won’t be reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the same way again either. Its not going to leave much time for indoctrinating young minds with the denial of biological sex and lectures on white guilt and climate change while they help the incontinently challenged with their poo times table.

“Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future” said John F. Kennedy.

Well lets get them out of nappies first hmm?

The Sun

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

98 thoughts on “Kids Not Toilet Trained at School”

  2. Just dump a naked child onto the school grounds. It’s clearly their job to clothe them, change their nappies, feed them. Maybe the teachers can take them home and read a bedtime story if mummy is too busy.

    • That will only attract the local Peter Files, who would love to take them home and dress them up for their dastardly deeds!

    • And anyway, today’s teachers are far too busy to have yet further responsibility foisted on them – yeh right !!!
      When it comes to workloads, I generally place modern day teachers only just above today’s GPs. Lazy little fuckers.

      • So they should wipe shitty arses and change nappies, Cassandra?

        Not what they signed up for, but perhaps that’s a duty you could volunteer for?

  3. This might be just an isolated case. But it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if it became a “thing” across all nursery schools.

    Next we might see parents asking for schools to accommodate a dorm with 20 odd cots/beds so they their precious child can have a kip whenever they want, especially at night with a teacher acting as “Mother”.

    Then it will be a specially-built TV and games room, full of game consoles, 50″ TVs, Netfux, Disney etc.

    It will come to a point where the child will spend more time at school than at home, but the parents will also insist that teachers give children pocket money for being so good!

    Load of bollocks. Schools should man-up and tell parents to fuck off!

    • A friend of mine used to have a nursery- the government inspector advised exactly that. Open at night time. Needles to say she didn’t.

  4. Schools are always saying they are skint,so make all these “extras” billable to the parents.

    If they don’t settle up then expel the kids and get some in from parents who aren’t giant cunts.

    Tarquin and Jemima can simply Fuck Off.

  5. To wipe or to rinse? That is the question, in this oh-so-diverse land.

    Mind you, the teachers should just use the older girls` faces to clean their little one`s poop-tubes as most of them look like sink plungers anyway.

    And now that I`m integrating in the UK & its nearly the Xmas, I`ve just bought my very first pair of festive panties: They have “O Come, All Ye Faithful” emblazoned on the gusset.

  6. Hang on. The little cunts will have been at home for five years before going to school.

    I’m guessing this is probably some of the cultural enrichments that have been dumped on our doorstep. Most of them are still baffled by a toilet, judging by the shit all over the seats and floors in public toilets. Which is why they usually shot on the street.

    Filthy third world vermin.

    • They’ve managed to move their bowel movements into inside. Trouble is, now they’re shitting in the urinal.

      Hello please, what is dis toilet paper you Britishers use?

      • Never ever touch a milk carton or similar that may be found in a public toilet.

        It will have been dragged through some third world piece of shit’s arse crack.

        Also look out for avery long little finger nails on Somalis. They use this for flicking off tagnuts, before sluicing their crack with the aforementioned milk carton.

      • Odin……I have never even contemplated the fact. Surely you don’t know people who need telling????

      • You would be surprised, CC.

        Not a lot of people know about the whole new world of backwards depravity our politicians have lumbered us with.

  7. I couldn’t quite believe this, when I saw it.

    Six and still in nappies? As a parent I would have been ashamed if my girls had not been toilet trained before starting school. I can understand the odd accident, when a child get so engrossed in an activity that they leave it too late, but to bring a child to school with a supply of nappies, really?

    I blame social media influencers for not seeing a gap in the market of “not a real job” and doing some YouTool tutorials on how to toilet train in exchange for supplies of Sudocreme and gin.

    Better yet, teach the little twats how to change their own soiled Pampers, and let the teachers do the job they are paid to do.

    • Couldn’t agree more Jeezum. In my day parents of such children would have been upbraided for the sin of neglect. Judging by the response to the teachers these parents don’t even have the wit to be embarrassed. Same applies to other basic skills such as the correct use of cutlery; see MJB’s post below. If one of ours held the fork in her right hand my wife would admonish them with the statement; “Other hand please, we’re not Americans.”

  9. Finally.
    I’ve always struggled to wipe my own arse.

    forget the paper end up with a shitty hand,
    or smear it the wrong way all over my balls.

    About time they taught something practical rather than how your parents are racist, you should be ashamed to be white and can be a cat.

    Jesus Im glad my poor old grandad is long dead.
    it’d kill him outright to see the state of this country.

  10. Hey, me an my dad had this customer few years back.
    she was from darn scarf and dealt in low end antiques.

    She casually mentioned to us that she’d breastfed her son till he was 12yrs?!!!!!

    Fuckin 12!!

    the weird cunts.

    My dad’s face was a picture 5parts disbelief to 5parts disgust.

    • I started going out with a girl years back. Walked in the house to be introduced to her family for the first time and there was her mother with her tit out on the sofa breast feeding her 10 (yes 10) year old brother (not the mothers brother- my new girlfriends brother)

      Didn’t bat an eyelid………fucking weirdo’s

      • 😮😮😮
        fuckin ell Chuff!
        wasn’t Fred Wests daughter you were dating was it?

        If so she wouldn’t be a virgin.

      • I think the warning bells really started ringing when he asked Chuffers if he was free that weekend to help lay a patio.

    • Was it Catherine Southon?

      Did her ‘child’ have a beard and size13 steel toe cap boots strategically placed under his knees?

  11. It wouldn’t surprise me if AnalEase Dodds still hasn’t been potty trained now – you can almost smell the shit and piss when you see her ugly mug on the TV

  12. When I saw potty training, I assumed it was a training course for our recently arrived
    enricher’s..
    After a day knifing the locals show the police your mental health card..

    • Normally stuff labelled potty training in my book has some very German perverse connotations

  13. It was only the other night that an English couple turned up at the bar with a kid in a pushchair.

    Is it school holidays again in the UK?

    He must have been 10 and could just about squeeze into it.

    The moment they stopped next to their table the little cunt jumped out and ran inside to choose an ice cream from the freezer.

    Parents are fucking stupid.

    • if you wore nappies age 6 at the school I went you’d be bullied the rest of your schooldays.
      same if you sucked your man’s tits at 12.

      it’d mark you out,
      label you ‘ mitmot’.
      You’d be a social reject.

      Good.
      that’s normal.
      That’s how development in society starts.

      a borderline teenage titsucker in nappies is destined for a bad ending.

      • Yeah, there were backwards kids at my school.
        Nothing obviously wrong from the outside besides a moon face but they pronounced toilet as choylet, needed a dinner lady to help them tinkle, would disappear for weeks at a time because they were needed at home, cried at the dinner table and drooled bean juice down their jumper, had to sit in a separate room with the dippy teaching assistant with her Frizzy eighties hair, stuffed monkeys and a colouring book during maths.

        At 14 they’d disappear from school completely.

    • Now, now Art.

      My nephew looked like a 6 month old the day he was born. At two, he looked 5/6, people used to look at him in disgust if he said ” want biccie”.

      Appearances can be deceptive.

      Maybe the 10 year old was just a lazy, indulged little bastard, as you suspected.

      • That sounds like our elder Jeezum. 9½ lbs at birth with a mop of auburn hair she grew rapidly and by the time she started school could lift me off the ground and carry me across the room with ease. At nursery as a toddler we never had a problem locating her outer clothes amongst the others because hers were the only ones labelled for an eight year old. Fortunately she was mature beyond her years and people simply assumed she was the age she appeared to be. Now in her thirties she will casually pick me up and throw me around.

      • Replying to arfur.

        Both my lasses, 5 pound, 9, and a 6 pound 8 are both humongous, which is weird. as I’m a dainty 8st 12.

        Their mother was also dainty, but my Mum was the size of an Orca.

        Maybe obesity skips a generation as all my siblings err on the low weight side.

      • Oh, both of them can pick me up and throw me about, they are both blue belts, and the Lass is the Junior superior.

      • I think my nephew will be carrying me around like David Prowse carried Patrick Magee in A Clockwork Orange.

  14. I note that this article appeared in The Sun. Would it be discourteous of me to suggest that half The Sun’s readership probably isn’t potty trained either?

      • I once heard that you only had to have a reading age of 5, in order to read and understand, the Sun.

        Mind you, that was about 50 years ago, so I would imagine any child that can actually read at 5 is some kind of Hawkin like genius.

      • When i was a regular commuter on the tube, used to amaze me how long it took some people to “read” the sun or mirror (this was pre-mobile phones).

  15. I wonder if the Peacefuls have their multiple inbred offspring wear a nappy.

    After all – I believe the cunts don’t use bog roll when they’re adults.

    • I used to see plenty of asian spaccas on my usual drive home through parts of west london.

    • I saw one the other day as I was driving towards the hospital.

      A young Indian/Bangladeshi lad but all bent up like a accordion had gone through a combine harvester.

  16. All this should be sorted out before school. I was shown the kitchen door into the backyard, where the freezing cold dark shithouse door was.

    Its adults who are the dirty bastards. They don’t wash their arses after a shite, besides their hands and prepare food for clean children after a hard day at school, trying to discover which sex they are.

  17. A friend has just fostered 3 siblings. The eldest is 6. All were in nappies and had permanent dummies in. Didnt know what vegetables were. This is our chav generation’s contribution.

    • That has to be the saddest thing I’ve read today.
      Poor little sods, what a start to life, CC.

      • They are doing well J. It depends on whether they go back to their famly though. Poor little sods indeed.

      • I had an acquaintance CC whose wife used to foster young ones, toddlers. He told of how some of them were so fearful that when she went to check they were OK in their cot, if awake they would screw their eyes tight closed to try to hide from her. Made me feel I would like to find the parents and administer some serious fucking pain.

  18. Today’s little kids not being potty trained is a real concern. But today’s college kids not being potty trained is a genuine crisis. .

      • Hey Cuntstable,

        As he was of an older generation I feel sure he was. However, as he obviously senile and decrepit I feel equally sure he now has to wear Depends* to avoid public embarrassment.

        *Do you have Depends brand Undergarments (for adult incontinence) in the UK?

      • Sorry this is for Generable Cunster, as the reply function is random, atm.

        Depends? As far as I’m aware, the closest we come is Huggies Pullups, for toddlers being toilet trained.

        I think there’s a UK brand, but seeing as I don’t have a ” piss/shit my pants” problem,
        I’m really not sure. I think it’s Tena.

      • I knew of someone who was in India on business and got a dose of the shits. Had to wear a pair of adult nappies on the plane home.

    • I imagine the BBC is petitioning the government to pay the $830 each and ship the 1.7 million goat fuckers over here..

      • No need for the taxpayers to pick up the tab. I would imagine a charity named “Leave Britain Now” could easily raise the necessary funds.

      • Charge them to leave and if they can’t pay and don’t leave then chop off their head?

        That sounds like a win-win to me Jeezum.

    • For the General.

      Yes, Depends were discrete, if you were looking for them from Outer Space!!

      Oh, my days!

  20. As a 90’s teenager, I recall being at my best mate’s house for dinner. He would say “Please may I be excused?”… after which point, he would go to the toilet.

    As soon as his Dad heard the bog flush and the door open, his Dad would shout “I’M FINIIIIIIISSSHED!”

    It was funny as fuck because we all knew what the joke meant because we’d all experienced it as kids.

    This new wave of government-controlled kids is fucking weird as fuck.

  21. wiping your arse is overrated anyway.
    it soon dries out and flakes off.

    That’s what the Palestinians do
    and everyone adores them.

    • Indeed, MNC. The Met police. and Gary Lineker love licking their arses.

  22. Fucking Hell, Mis.

    Wambilog encrusted arse is the most uncomfortable thing in the world.
    You might know them as wing nuts, ming nuts, or similar.

    Why on earth a civilised human would want.. Oh, wait a minute!

  25. One of the reasons I fucking hate little kids is their shit stinks so bad. The fucking reek of soiled nappies is everywhere nowadays. Huge arsed pram-faces shove their revolting offspring around the shops, on public transport, and even into fucking pubs ffs. Fucking disgusting. Fuck off.

    • perhaps the stench is from the huge arse of the pram-faces where they can’t reach to wash?

      Fucking revolting either way. Visit Worthing or Havant to see it at endemic levels.

      Tattooed, top knotted, gunted pigs.

  26. I hate them as well, Twenty.

    Noisy little bastards. Always acting up and screaming. Disturbing everybody else’s day out or shopping trip. Sadistic little cunts that chase pigeons and birds. Screech like they are being murdered if they don’t get their way. Total pains in the fucking arse. Absolutely horrible.

  27. And modern parents who allow their brats to go out in public in their pyjamas, onesies, or fancy dress. I’ve seen horrible offspring in town centres wearing the following…

    Spiderman costume
    Man City FC onesie (fucking hell)
    Marvel pyjamas
    A Pokemon yellow thing (full costume with stupid ears)

    Absolute mongs who will bring up absolute mongs.

    • Agree Norman. When the enrichers see how far we have fallen is it any wonder they feel like they can take the piss?

    • Don’t know if you picked it up Norman, but a couple of years ago a school in Northern Ireland asked the parents not to take the kids to school in a morning still wearing their pyjamas/nighties, the parents that is. The way some folks live just baffles me.

      • I’ve seen it arfur.
        I have also seen it near us of a morning. My mum would rather have died than go out like that.

        Thia country is a cesspool, and all the scum – of any colour – needs wiping out.

  28. I remember a kid who shat himself in class once. He was ragged mercilessly over it. The idea of not being able to go the bog properly (even at 8 years old, which we were at the time) was a source of both mirth and contempt.

    Mind you, the lad’s parents were scum. Chavs before chavs were invented. His sister was just as dirty. Shitty knickers.

    • It seemed as if it was a compulsory requirement, class of 30.
      All but one clean, well dressed.

  29. The scores of people online wishing Tina Turner – the very dead Tina Turner – a happy birthday?

    Yeah…… Them cunts…..

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