Z-list celebrities turned lifestyle gurus or life coaches.
Seems like every minor celebrity has some sort of self help book out now or feels qualified to purport to be a lifestyle guru.
šStacey Solomon and her husband Beeker from the Muppet Show telling people how to live their lives (bit rich really).
šCameron Diaz has a book
šRussell Brand has a couple of books and is now trying to pass himself of as a sort of new age spiritual soothsayer
šGwyneth Paltrow has her āgoopā and dodgy candles
šKate Hudson
šBritish TV presenter/squawker Fearne Cotton
šThe Spare/Heir
What credentials do they have apart from some of them having battled their own demons?
None.
Being famous isnāt the equivalent of a PhD in Psychology as far as Iām aware.
(also Lauren Graham who was my MILF fantasy back in 2004/5 has one, but I wonāt talk about thatā¦ahem) Lauren Graham Pic.
Fearne Cotton (will anyone get the horn or āriseā to the occasion) Amazon Link.
Stacey Solomon (now has the wisdom of her namesake perhaps/perhaps not) Good Reads Link.
NY Post Link. (Additional link provided by General Cuntster)
Nominated by : Harold
Kate Hudson could influence the spunk to burst forth from my tinkle, as her mother could have 30 years ago.
16
That’s fairly tame for you Thomas.
Have you been hacked or something?š
3
I can’t stand Stacey “nothing to offer” solomon.
I wish I had been a bit more switched on when I was younger, acting like a thick cunt on TV, earning the adoration of millions for being a… cunt.
That said she’s of a family with a certain ancestral connection who are known for being good with making money, and no, not the dakis. They’re the corner shop kings.
11
After reading the ‘Beeker’ comment and spitting my tea out, I had to do an internet search to find out who SS husband is….
That is fucking funny
Joe Swash = Beeker from the muppets š
3
Just a word of warning for anyone planning on following Russell brands life style choices.. get a good lawyer..
13
Why, what’s he done? Has he been arrested now?
3
Youāll need very deep pockets if you want retain Brandās lawyer.
Heās currently represented by Mark Thompson, of Thompson Heath & Associates.
They claim to undertake defamation work on behalf of āsenior political figures, advising FTSE companies and their executives, royal families, governments and celebrities.ā
Oooh – sounds a bit like the global elite, lol!
9
Yeah he’s using that as was predicted.
He had that in his mind (conspiracy theories shit) as a Defence tactic.
For when it all came out which undoubtedly he knew it would.
Because of the scale of it.
Never thought him funny. The substance of his ‘quirky’ personality is simply waving his arms about.
A true cypher nothing there.
A chancer.
Fucked off to America in the hope he could get away with it.
He likes to use big words like ‘metastasized’.
These ‘allegations have metastasized into something sinister’ he said or something.
Not an accurate use of the word.
Also ‘baroque’. These allegations are ‘somewhat baroque ‘.
Trying to say that they were artificially created I suppose.
Hiding behind big words.
12
The way he’s going he’ll be hiding behind some big bars, he might enjoy the showers mind you…
7
What are they like at criminal litigation? Way things are going he’ll need Clarence Darrow
4
Funnily enough I don’t like any of those books.
I’d quite like that Paltrow nutcase to make an “instructional film” about lesbianism sex with Kate Hudson in it as well..
But books with pictures of their fannies in it and that wouldn’t be anywhere near as good.
I’ll send them an email about it and report back in due course.
8
Good to see you included Spare/Heir in that list Harold.
I still don’t understand why he called his book for the simple minded ‘Spare’, which just makes me think of ‘spare prick at a wedding’.
Surely ‘Seatbelt’ would have been a better title. It’s what his mum would have wanted.
15
Solomons books shoudl have been titled:
“Happily thick, rich, cunt”
7
Basically they are all sayingā¦ā¦buy my book and you can be a vacuous, no brain airhead like me. The only difference is youāll never be rich because you give all your money to cunts like meā¦ā¦.and my agentā¦ā¦who wrote the fucking thing in the first place!
You wankers.
24
Nope
I have seen a couple of films with Paltrow
Hudson and Solomon, no idea š
6
Good nom. Iād add to this online personal trainers or personal trainers in general.
Lots of them seem to dish out mental health advice to clients and others on social media without possessing any qualifications to do so .
They post things like āif you believe it you can achieve it ā and other vaporous bullshit which is supposed to motivate whilst being a roadmap to nothing quite frankly.
Iām hoping their advice kills someone and they end up in jail
7
Glad these nonentities have turned up. That gives me a nice rest, with interest to see what tomorrow brings.
3
I remember queuing in WH Smithās and there were two young birds, about 16/17 , in front of me buying one of Katie Priceās ābooksā. Now I knew there were cunts who buy this trash but to see them actually in the flesh and getting all excited about it gave me a very strange feeling. I can still remember the priceā¦..Ā£13.99! Fuck me!
The scrubber had never even read the book let alone written it.
8
Desperate Dans and Dannettes
They’ve got fuck all else to offer other than some made up shite they neither they or most rational people believe.
But you’ll always get the mug punters who will indulge in all this expensive self-indulgence
6
Donāt know this Katie sort but agree in kind with TCE
Stacey might be an air head but she can sing
Being frank I think the people who follow these cunts are actually bigger cunts
8
true….if i have to be a cunt, i would rather be a chief cunt with money selling shite to the pleb cunts.
a cunt hierachy if you like
3
Have you ever thought of a career in politics Chuff?
0
If only famous people from days gone by had followed the same path. Would have had some interesting titles.
Fix your own tv aerial. Rod Hull
Sailing for pleasure in easy reach of terrorists. Lord Mountbatten
Auto erotic asphyxiation for beginners. Michael Hutchence
And many many more.
Not available at all good bookshops (sadly)
8
I bought a book by a celeb once
Was called āhow to give up smoking ā by Patrick Swayze
Was rubbish
4
Couldn’t give a flying fuck, I totally ignore these cunts whose intelligence is way below mine.
Good afternoon.
8
I dont read books as I’m busy
And not a swotty little egghead twat.
And I certainly wouldn’t read one by either some hippy rapist or celeb look at me cunt.
I don’t want to be like you.
I’m already better than you.
I don’t want the advice of a new age halfwit about Feng Shui or fuckin crystals and wholeness.
Eat shit.
15
Aye. There’s a convicted child killer in Yankeeland (Damien Echols) whose been released and is some kind of healer now. Some say he was innocent, but I’m not buying it. He’s legally still guilty, but freed because the local authority couldn’t afford to keep taking on his celebrity funded lawyers.
The fact one of the 3 killers confessed more than once (the second one while in prison for a year or so, despite his lawyer telling him not to do it) and Echol’s several different alibis were proved to be a pack of lies (he still hasn’t given one that stacks up) is lost on these celebtards. One biased documentary later and they suck the murdering cunt off.
Going OT there, but it’s another example of celebs getting involved in shite they know nothing about.
Well done, three child murdering cunts are walking the streets now.
5
And that making a murderer is another one. If that cunt didn’t murder that woman then I’m a Venezuelan shower curtain.
2
Yep, that nasty cunt Lennon campaigned for Hanratty’s pardon and bankrolled Michael X’s bail.
A total fuckwit. Mark Chapman did the world a huge favour, IMHO.
5
It’s even worse when they say folk need ‘educating’ because they have different opinions to them. It doesn’t occur to them that perhaps people have thought things through rather more than they have, and are, perhaps, far more intelligent than they are themselves.
Rio Fedinand PhD being a prime example. Get educated, he says? I’ve eaten biscuits with a higher IQ than that cunt.
19
Milk chocolate macaroon is my guess…
6
Aye, celebrity wankers that have reinvented themselves as some kind of great political thinker when in fact they are just a Twitter troll. Carol Voderman is one, a Labour attack dog. Particularly nauseating as she used to hang off the end of David Cameron’s knob as some kind of maths tsar.
9
Linekhunt is the worst. The BBC might as well make him Director General. I see he got his own way and the BBC’s long standing policies changed on presenters mouthing off their political opinions in public.
He can’t shut the fuck up now, the prick.
11
My favourite quote of Ferdinand was Twainesque in its brilliance
Was back when everyone was right cunting the chippy little overrated cunt , Raheem Sterling
Ferdinand leapt to his defence with this
āPut some respeck on duh nameā
What an absolute cunt .
Tell you what Rio , Iāll educate myself when you learn to fucking speak properly
12
When there job title is referred to as “social media influencer”
I just want to smash the face of the cunt who is reporting it.
The “Influencers” are making flutes out of kids, who will inevitably crash and fall through the cracks unable to function in any rational sense. The phone hates them, its over.
6
Not you Harold I mean, incase my unintelligible comment is taking the unintended way. I meant when they, the MSM refer to these gobshites as influencers.
ill knock off for a bit.
4
No it’s ok I didn’t think you meant me.
The thing with being a soshul meeja influencer is that the whole platform is so fickle. It’s like the song ‘New Kid in Town’ by the Eagles
“They will never forget you ’til somebody new comes along. Where you’ve been lately? There’s a new kid in town”
2
Excellent nom.
Gurus used to have to work at it. Sat on top of stone pillars their whole lives. Asceticism was compulsory to qualify in the guru stakes. Living with snakes, lying on beds of nails and such like. Hermits on mountains deep in the Himalayas. You had to really earn your place above the common herd. Modern ‘gurus’ are lazy egotists with nothing to offer beyond decent PR. Paltrow earned her place among the gurus by playing Pepper Potts ffs. Fuck right off.
7
Aye. Gurus are skinny 90 year old Indians with matted hair and twenty inch fingernails, doing naked gymnastics. The fucking loons.
3
For the particularly vacuous in today’s modern society, The formerly royal Duchess of Sussex will be relaunching her unknown blog…named after her favorite wine…The Tig.*
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12400775/Spotify-Meghan-Tig-restart-lifestyle-blog-royal.html
Reportedly it will include such topics as:
How to make an entire nation hate you.
How to separate your husband from his family.
How to go from a Q List actress to a Z list nobody.
How to fail at everything.
*I never heard of Tig wine so I looked it up. Critics say that it is an especially Tart offering.
10
She needs a fucking good slap, poke up the ass and her beaver given a good seeing too.
6
Fern Britton, apart from being an airhead is an out and out liar.
Told all her doting idiot followers that sheād lost a shed load of weight by eating healthier blah blah when in fact sheād had a gastric band fitted.
What a cunt she is!
9
Haha..I hope the fat cunt fetched out a smug diet book for gullible arseholes to buy.
Chapter one “I was such a fat cunt that I had to risk my life getting a gastric band fitted as I simply couldn’t stop filling my wobbling pie hole with….pies”.
Ā£25.
8
I thought you were talking about her foo-foo š¤£.
What a sight that would be!
0
Gregg Wallace teaching thick cunts how to go food shopping.
Stacey Solomon (my grandad would’ve started shouting in German at the sight of her phizog).
A programme about people watching telly.
Embarrassing bodies.
What a pile of rancid cocks.
7
If you need some Hollyweird cunt or a permatanned , turkey toothed TV cunt to tell you how to function ,
Maybe you should be in a facility doing some colouring in or potato painting?
This cunts can’t organise their own life.
Coke heads
Eating disorders
Body dysmorphia
Megalomania
Narcissistic
Paranoid
Stand on your own two feet
Stand by your decisions for good or ill,
And when the world pushes you
Push back.
9
…And now Scarlet’s Driving Schol. Some fat plastic freak teaching thick cunts how to drive. I thought it was on ITV4 but it turns outbit’s BBC1.
Easy mistake to make these days.
1
On top of that Handycock thinks he’s SAS material.
0
Boil the lot in stale horse piss.Twats.
5
Isnāt Stacey Solomonās programme called āSort your life out with Stacey Solomonā or something like that
Imagine how far we have fallen as a civilisation that people will watch a programme to learn how to be better people being instructed by one of the most stupid cunts in human history .
We laugh at ancient civilisations for some of their beliefs but fuck me id much rather watch āsort your life out with Socratesā
I reckon it would be more useful
1
Agreed š
0
I’d like to be er, ahem ‘influenced’ by the lovely Emma Raducanu, I wouldn’t say no but she would.
The only thing these air headed twats influence me to do is to laugh at them and visit this esteemed sight for a good cunting, righteously delivered by you acid tongued fuckers.
3
I love being lectured at by “celebrities” who have nothing between their ears, apart from a face ( to keep the ears apart) and a pie hole they are incapable of keeping shut.
6
This nom leads inevitably to consideration of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Whose existence and cause is a matter of debate. But here we have some very dim bulbs who feel they are in a position to impart the bleeding obvious to anyone cunt enough to believe them, ie even dimmer bulbs, reinforcing their own confirmation bias and disappearing up their own narcissistic arses.
The correct response to a stereotypical media Barbie emulator asking me to endorse her pathetically materialistic worldview, is “fuck off.” No further words are required.
8
The DunningāKruger conservative party.
3
Anyone who is easily led and influenced by these no-marks must have been sniffing in the fumes of a defective Gwyneth Paltrow fanny candle.
5
Never fails to amaze me when these people think they have anything to offer as a life coach, they are minted and deluded and know fuck all about living in the real world.
Then you get fuckwits like Stacey Solomon, honestly what benefit could advise from possibly give, maybe care of a monkey.
Then of course the ultimate life coach Katey Price, she can advise on care of a monkey, shite Aussy actors, horrendous taste, anal dp, bankruptcy, fooling drug and drink drive tests, best possible way way to crash a car, gang bangs, plastic surgery, 100 best things to stick in your snatch, the English language, basically a what not to do in life manual, so basically buy her book and do the exact opposite of everything this fucking loon says and you should be sort of OK.
However Kate Hudson does make my nuts tingle….
5
I think I would like to get touchy feely with Kate Hudson actually.
Speaking of Stacey “Oh my gawd” this made me laugh:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bd-KNSk27c
2