The Conservative Party Conference

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“We’re going to crack down on the the benefit cheats and scroungers!”

Audience stands and cheers.

“We’re going to fuck up the criminals and lock them up for donkeys.”

Audience stands, claps and cheers with wild abandon.

“We’re going to stop all these dirty, thieving immos coming in and sucking the lifeblood out of this country.”

Audience stands, claps and cheers and old ladies wet their drawers with excitement.

Look up any Conservative Conference for the past 20 years, rinse and repeat.
Your shout Cyril! Double brandies all round old boy!

Nominated by Freddie the Frog.

98 thoughts on “The Conservative Party Conference”

  2. “We are gonna treat the taxpaying electorate like mugs while pretending to care, while also filling our bank accounts”

    “FIVE MORE YEARS FIVE MORE YEARS”

  3. I would sooner the Sun’s editor , whoever that maybe, be in charge that this Tory collective.

    They are full of shit and no different, in terms of results, than the liar bor party.

    • Sunak said yesterday they people are “excited by his policies”

      😂 his actual words

      I have no comment really . Does he truly believe this and also who told him this

    • Will we? Tories have taken the piss with their spending and woke authoritarian statutes. Expect Starmrr to carry on in the same vein, but with higher taxes.

  7. Getting a standing ovation at a party conference is like getting a head shot on john merrick, impossible to miss..

  9. ‘Audience stands, claps and cheers…’

    Like circus seals then. Chuck each one a fish.

  10. As soon as this foreigner loses the election, him and his foreign non dom wife will fuck off to the USA with his Green Card.

    I, for one, will not be voting. I’ve had decades of broken promises and lies.

    They can all Fuck Off.

    Good morning.

    • You might want to consider voting for the Reform party Jack. I heard that they were planning to put up a candidate in every seat. They may have no chance but some years ago when the National Front put up a candidate in a seat in Brum and got a few hundred votes (and lost his deposit!) the main stream parties shat themselves.

    • I will only vote if Reform put forward a candidate, but then their predeccesors the Brexit Party stood down candidates last minute where tories would get a majority, so I don’t trust them that much.

      Otherwise it’s a spoiled ballot

      (remember to take a pen. Activists are cslled that for a reason ).

  11. What was Sue Ellen going on about yesterday with her “hurricane of immigration “ bullshit? You’ve been in government for four years with an 80 seat majority and what have you done about it bitch? FUCK ALL! You’ve got another year to go and what are you going to do about it bitch? FUCK ALL WITH KNOBS ON!
    The next Conservative government will be a minimum of six fucking years away by which time we’ll be awash with gimmigrants, all of whom will be voting Labour. Talk about digging your own grave. I can’t believe so many cunts can be that fucking dumb. There’s got to be something much bigger going on.

    • “I can’t believe so many cunt’s can be that fucking dumb.”

      They are.

      “There’s got to be something much bigger going on.”

      There is.

      Two seemingly opposing statements can be true at the same time.

      • ‘What was Sue Ellen going on about yesterday’

        Sue Ellen Ewing comes to mind. There was a ‘dream season’ in Dallas wasn’t there? The whole season just a dream.

        That’s the way to look at this ‘conference season’.
        We will look back and think it was all just a dream.

  12. Interesting timing for this nomination.

    Take a look at what happened in the US House of Representatives yesterday. A mere handful of rebels forced out the Speaker of the House, Uni-pary hack extraordinaire Kevin McCarthy.

    They said we’ve had enough of the lies, broken promises, bullshit rhetoric and business as usual approach, and removed him from his position.

    Essentially they said, if you (McCarthy) won’t tackle these problems in a meaningful way you’re out.

    Eight members stood up to the Uni-party. What happens from here remains to be seen. But if I were a religious man I’d be shouting Hallelujah and singing High Hosanna!**

    *The Lower House of our National Legislature is similar to your House of Commons.
    **Don’t any of you pagans get you panties in a bunch. It’s a metaphor.

    • McCarthy got exactly what he deserved. A man of breath-taking hypocrisy, ready to promise anything to anybody to get the job he wanted and to keep it. He couldn’t expect the Democrats to save him after he blamed them for nearly shutting down the government, when he knew like everyone else that it was Republicans that caused the crisis. Now he’s trying to say that he lost the job because he was putting the country first.
      On his gravestone they’ll write ‘Here lies Kevin McCarthy, as usual’.

    • Greetings General.

      I too was watching things unfold yesterday. You may also have noted how the MSM were spinning this as a ‘chaotic disaster’ and perpetuating the lie Gaetz did what he did for ‘personal reasons’. Anything to smear the Repubs and big up the Demoncrats. Jeez.

      It took 15 rounds of voting and all kinds of concessions for McCarthy to get the Speaker job. At what point during those 15 rounds did he ever stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, he’s not wanted?

      • Hey IY,

        Gaetz is hated by the Washington Uni-party on both sides of the isle.

        He’s a true believer and a bit of a fireeater* who doesn’t take Corporate or PAC (Political Action Committee) money so he isn’t beholden to the Corporate or Washington Establishment interests. Therefore, he’s a threat.

        The Biden Regime’s weaponized Department of Injustice went after him on phony charges including sex trafficking, drugs use and sex with underage girls. However, these charges were dropped as there was absolutely no evidence of any wrong doing. It was a pure hit job.

        But at the time the Demonrat controlled House of Representatives launched an ethics complaint based on the phony charges and even after they were dropped, they refused to stop the “investigation”.

        When the Republicans took over the House they and their Speaker, Kevin McCarthy kept the “investigation” open and used it against Gaetz as a constant looming threat.

        Just before Gaetz filed his motion to remove McCarthy there was a threat to file a motion to expel Gaetz from the House BEFORE the “investigation” was completed and the “results” were made public.

        Watch some of his remarks from the floor yesterday…especially, those that call out his own party members for taking Corporate and special Interest money.

        If there was any doubt this was personal, it was personal on the part of the Republicunt/Uni-party members against Gaetz for calling them out and threatening to derail their gravy train.

      • Oops…the * does not refer to the old term fire-eaters used to describe pre-Civil War, pro-Slavery Democrats but rather to the notion of belligerent and militant partisan.

      • Cheers General.

        I did know Gaetz was smeared with all kinds of sex/under-age/trafficking allegations, but I lost track of what happened to that. I didn’t know an ‘investigation’ was still hanging over him. So I guess it was a bit of pay back. Good.

        I did note his pointed remarks about lobbying and special interests yesterday. Thanks to you, I now understand the context better. Wow! Yeah, he really is a thorn in the Deep State’s side. Good for him.

        Did you hear about RFK’s intention to run as an independent? Last time that was tried I think it was Ross Perot who got his ass handed to him. I don’t closely follow all the politicking like your good self, so let me ask you this:

        Do you think Trump’s legal battles will come out in his favor so he can run again and if so, what would be the likely effect of a seemingly popular independent candidate in the mix?

      • Cheers I Yank*

        With regard to RFK Jr…I did hear about his run as an Independent and I do support it even though I am no fan of the Fenian Kennedy clan.

        I disagree with a lot of what RFK Jr says. But I do agree with some of his positions…which is weird because I abso-fucking-lutely-hate the Demonrats** and never vote for one.

        As for Trump…I’m not sure what will happen. More needs to lay out before I can make a prediction. But it does seem like the more the Demonrats push their Stalinesque Show Trials the better he does with the American public.

        *I Yank and U Tug is a play on the names of 2 Dentists in a 3 Stooges routine.
        **Hatred for the Demonrats should not be misconstrued as love for the Republicunts.

      • No chance RFK will ever come close to winning the Presidency, what with his comical vocal cords shot to hell.
        Not to mention all the conspiracy shite he brings to the table.

      • Cheers General.

        People can say what they like about Trump, but he doesn’t back down. It would be so fun to see him in the WH again.

      • MJB –

        Yeah, RFK Jr. does have a bit of a comedy voice. I’ve seen/read so called analysis of what a 3 way vote split would do. Some say it sinks the Demoncrat candidate and hands Trump a landslide. Others say it locks in a Demoncrat win – IF – Creepy senile corrupt Joe is not the candidate.

        I am so sick of US politics. The Demons screw the country, the Repubs try to claw back a bit of lost ground, then the Demons screw it some more. That’s my simplistic no-skin-in-the-game view of what goes on.

      • Trump has the advantage of being a self confessed sex offender.
        A lot of voters appear to warm to that fact.

  13. Those who stand to applaud these lies are a perfect illustration of what has gone wrong in this country.

    Their ideology is standing in the way of putting anything right,every last one of them is a woke windbag puppet.

    Watch what happens when the other bunch of crooks have been in for a year or two,a million vermin let in every year and a national taxpayer funded house building programme to house them all with the national debt well over two trillion and climbing..all whilst the “Tories” trade insults with them then trot off to the subsidised bar..

    While the rest of the country simply sinks.

    The end result will be the collapse of our society or vicious civil war.

    Vermin for oven.

    • “The end result will be the collapse of our society or vicious civil war.”

      The Oracle of the Oven hath spoken. Heed the words of the Prophet* or face extinction from the face of the Earth.

      *It’s another fucking metaphor.

  14. They should make all of them walk home as a present for abandoning hs2 after fucking that up as well.
    Everything they touch turns to crap.
    And Labour will drop their trousers on top of what’s left.
    Reform sounds better than the usual crap.

  15. This party conference is all about cunts manoeuvring their arses into position to take the leadership when The Suntan Kid gets beat and takes his rich slag of a wife off to the States. It looks like a fight between Sue Ellen and Priti Useless but even Truss fancies her chances. Not that it makes any difference to us peasants.
    We’ve had some cunt politicians in the past but the last four years has been some fucking eye opener. Fuck me.

  16. Anyone who actually supports the Tories is a buffoon. Anyone who votes for them is probably doing so out of despair for lack of choice. The Tories have cornered the market in lying bags of shit wankers. It is their MO for retaining power. Labour are out and out cunts and make no bones about it.

    I actually hate this government . I will never forgive the way they deliberately harmed so many people in 2020/21, I like to think they will all burn forever in Unkle’s oven. Fuck off.

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Fucking right.
      Where’s a nice bomb when you need one.
      Come on IRA, pull yer fingers oight!

    • The next few years are set to be genuinely hair raising.

      We are being taken down a very dark path by incompetent fools.

      Stark choices beyond the grasp of these cunts are looming.

      Can’t wait for the powder keg to ignite.

  17. November 5th 1605. A long time ago but we’re still regretting the missed opportunity. That’s not what they told me at school but now I know better.

    • Wonder why bonfire night has been erased over the last 25 years to be replaced by fucking Halloween.

  18. “I promise to kerp the streets ckean of litter, dogshit and pot-holes.”

    “I promise to prevent all dodgy Afrikans and Muzlins illegally entering.”

    “I promise to buy you pizzas every day for the next gour years.”

    “I promise Swella will come to each and every house and give you a soapy handjob.”

  19. Vote Labour and be stabbed in the front by a party that openly hates you and doesn’t attempt to hide it or: vote Conservative and instead be stabbed in the back, by a party that pretends not to hate you but does a shit job hiding it..

    The NPC’s who voted for Johnson in 2019 will no doubt flip and vote for Dame Kweer and Labour next time.

    Hence the fabled “red wall” will re-emerge and we’ll all live happily ever after.

    Good morning

  20. Politicians are the very epitome of the phrase “talks cheap “, perhaps the cunts are the real cause of the “climate emergency ” with the hot air they produce.

  21. Andy Burnham was having a rant about HS2 and to show how inclusive he is , he was surrounded by the usual work shy fat Labour sub humans and assorted Spastics

  22. There is clear water between Cons and Lab, the Cons will ALLOW you to buy new petrol cars until 2035, the Labs will only ALLOW you to buy new petrol cars until 2030 😂

    HS2 will it won’t it, Manchester to London in NEVER 😂

    Cut immigration, we have to bring it down, well stop issuing visas 😳

    Channel cunts, stop the boats, but only on days when it’s a force 5 or above or a 30ft swell 🤨

    All cunts

  23. In all walks of life a promise is your bond. If it isn’t kept, you’d be out on your ear.
    Why do the ones in Nr. 10 lie through their teeth and allowed to get away with it ?
    At least its prevented me from voting for the last few decades. Its time the stocks where brought back to the town square, to give these lying cunts the treatment they deserve.

  24. To right Sammy,
    The stark reality is we’re going to get more lying and a lot more gross incompetence.
    And if you think this lot can’t run the country just wait until Labour get in , they will make the Tories look like the worlds greatest thinkers.

  26. i have to admit I am a member of this party, and even I think they are treating us like cunts.

    what the fuck have they been in power 12 odd years, and now just before a general election they actually tell people like me, what i wanted to hear and see them do 12 odd years ago? they must think we are mugs, knowing full well they are only saying what we want to hear now simply to get votes, and they if they stay in, theres another 5 years at least of them doing fuck all what they said they were going to so they dont upset the very small liberal minority of the population….who they think they might convince to vote tory next time around.

    i must be getting old, because i certainly dont look up to politicians and statesmen like i did when i was younger. back then i thought ‘fuck me, thats a difficult job, i couldn’t do it’ now though, i think they are all a bunch of useless cunts…but thats like todays sub 40 year old workforce now…they all seem to be fucking useless

  27. Labour supporters at work ( particularly the young ones ) say that when Labour get in we will all get a lot more money along with a fair and decent society.
    where is the fucking money coming from ???
    Labour and their supporters have never understood basic economics. My mum and Dad were die hard Labour supporters and they believed that money just fell off a Government money tree.
    I won’t vote for either of them .
    I’ll probably give Richard Tice and his Reform Party a go , can’t be worse than the alternatives

  28. I don’t normally need to watch TV to make my mind up if I think a group of people are cunts and I do think the Tories are cunts, let’s get that on record.

    But, fuck me, the Channel 4 Partgate was a well written, if a little ‘Fuck the Tories’ programme to watch on a boring Tuesday.

    It was a mixture of fiction, real news footage and interviews with normal people who had been affected.

    I was incredulous when I discovered that some people had received £10K + fines, when the very same evening cunts and aides at number 10 were basically having basement raves (with one aide also claiming to be a DJ).

    Watching it, there were times when I thought the fiction element was a bit too much, but then, there were quotes captured during the Gray report displayed on the TV which seemed to back up what was being shown.

    A £14K fine would ruin me and over something that members of the house were not abiding to – I’d fight it to the hilt, perhaps get Russel Brands Lawyer involved, I hear he is good.

    All the timing is apt mind you, it’s ‘conference’ time and a general election on the horizon, talk of Farage coming back, HS2 being scrapped. Suella “From Fraggle Rock” talking of a Hurricane of dakis coming to the UK, despite her family stepping off the Bombay Duck boat from India (I thought the Hurricane was one continuous strong wind blowing in from Europe).

    All a bit tiring to be honest.

    • Seconded. I watched the progamme Cuntus and my feeling is word for word identical to yours.

  29. Thank goodness Sunak is standing firm against the single Green MP and refusing to tax meat.
    Phew…!

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