The Conservative Party Conference

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“We’re going to crack down on the the benefit cheats and scroungers!”

Audience stands and cheers.

“We’re going to fuck up the criminals and lock them up for donkeys.”

Audience stands, claps and cheers with wild abandon.

“We’re going to stop all these dirty, thieving immos coming in and sucking the lifeblood out of this country.”

Audience stands, claps and cheers and old ladies wet their drawers with excitement.

Look up any Conservative Conference for the past 20 years, rinse and repeat.
Your shout Cyril! Double brandies all round old boy!

Nominated by Freddie the Frog.

98 thoughts on “The Conservative Party Conference”

  2. This sh*t so-called speech has been regurgitated by the Daily Fail, Torygraph, and the Scum as though it was up there with Churchill, Maggie, MLK, or JFK etc etc.
    Sunak offers meaningless word salad, while Rome burns.
    Then you have talentless turds like Grant “Mr Green” Shapps, saying Rinki Dink “has not been found wanting”.
    It is like living in some 1970s/80s US political satire full of ludicrous and laughable characters, except all these cunts are for real and lording it over us.

  3. The nom must be psychic…no, not really, but it’s bang on. Sunak has just gone beyond any possibility of parody: “Our mission is to fundamentally change our country”. (applause)

    The words are lovely, although I notice he’s gone hyperblair, “Wo’ ” for “what” etc. Pity “change is difficult” but “I will lead in a different way” “Inflation is the biggest destroyer of all” and “we” are by implication going to “get it under control”, we aren’t told how, at which point there will be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover. Did he say Dover?. No. Caught himself in time. Quick segue into our wonderful Covid record, always forgetting the release of infected patients into care homes…whoops… segue into safe topic of what a cunt Starmer is.

    I could go on. He is. What a cunt.

    • Prediction. The electorate will vote the lying Tory bastards out at the next election, and then first chance they get, the daft bastards will vote them back in again. A few new faces, a whole new set of lies, the formula doesn’t change.

    • HS” cancelled – great. Everything wrong with Northern infrastructure to be completely cured. Cow pie in the sky (copyright The Beano). Never mind the miserable present, “we’re building a better future”. Take home message for the suckers, we can’t afford or begin to implement anything soon, but there’ll be gallons of jam tomorrow.

      He really, really is a cunt.

      • Re HS2, any contractors worth their salt will have eye-watering cancellation payments coming to them. Ha, ha, ha. What’s the betting there will be another reverse ferret after the GE?

      • Hefty severance payments to contractors if Itchy Ballbag follows through with the cancellation of the Brum to Manc line .

        Contractors being paid to employ staff to sit around looking at Tik Tok on their Iphones as the whole HS2 project is a monumental, uncoordinated, mismanaged fuck-up.

        Best of British, chaps!

    • You don’t get much more ‘fundamental’ than turning a white, Christian country into a peaceful, third world shithole.

      • When they sang ‘Till we have built Jerusalem In England’s green and pleasant land’ I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

  4. ffffff… ffffff…. fffff……..

    Calm down Chops fer fuck’s sake or something’s gonna get broken!

    Well I sat through Suknak’s set piece with fists balled so tight I was practically drawing blood! Never have I felt such a seething murderous contempt for a politician; not even Blair could generate the visceral hate I feel for this simpering, curry flavoured, corner shop cunt. Freeze-framed visions of gratuitously painful tortures were a constant intrusion negating any intention I might have had of actually listening to anything he had to say. But that’s OK, I didn’t need to listen because it is a given that his/their priorities in no form coincide with mine. In fact I know that in his heart he would have me and my like summarily ‘gulagged’ were he granted the power. He is an active enemy of MY country and MY people!

    I can say no more until the adrenaline level subsides but I’d like to leave you with one of those recurring freeze frames which is of Suknak dragging his broken, generously sjamboked scrawny body up Terry’s ‘green mile’ to the door of his 4 megawatt tandoori oven under the encouragement of a 50kV cattle prod!

    • ‘Today the Prime Minister said: “I love Leicester, my mum’s from Leicester, she’s from Oadby’….. except his mother was born in Tanganyika, not Leicester, although it’s becoming increasingly difficult to tell the difference.

      • I lived in Oadby in the mid 80s when attending Leicester Poly. It was actually quite nice. Tree lined streets. Nice looking large houses. Plenty of white faces and expensive cars driving around.

        Had to visit a college buddy at his digs one time. He lived in a completely different part of town. It was like downtown Calcutta over his way. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. Nasty, nasty stuff.

        I expect that situation has only got worse since.

  5. I knew Rishi was a cunt, but old Roland Rat has surpassed himself this time.

    A plant to ban cigs and baccy?! Granted, I gave it up 20 years ago, but everyone is entitled to a smoke if they so wish. Lucifer Blair banning it from pubs was bad enough, but banning it outright? The Curry Rodent is taking the piss.

    There are hordes of leeching dinghy vermin infesting the country, London now has more knife crime than New York, our constabulary is now a pathetic organisation nobody respects or is afraid of, and the official national public service broadcaster (you know who) is run by one eyed fanatical woke fascists. Yet Roland is targeting smokers?! Free country? Not any more.

    The man is a complete cunt.

  6. Three shades of the same turd:-

    Sunak
    Starmer
    Davey

    All three of these clueless cunts are going to bullshit the country with their promises over the next 12 months; and the MSM won’t know who to support or who to slag off given their policies are much the same.

    So much for choice.

  7. Medieval practices are what’s needed.

    1. The Flail.

    2. The wheel.

    3. finally drop what’s left into a vat of boiling water.

    In fact, repeat the above with all the lying, gobshiting, deliver nothing but failure, totally useless politico’s.

  8. Does the pledge to eliminate smoking include the vast amounts of cannabis that many youngsters indulge in? All for it if it means that my next hospital internment means that I will not be surrounded by psychotic teenagers and young adults suffering the effect of the harmless weed.

    • Roland Rat wants cigs banned. But he won’t ban all those chavs who clog up the air with that vaping shite.

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