I’m teetering towards my mid 50s and having some decidedly odd side effects.
My eyebrows are starting to make me look like a Gallagher brother,
My nostrils have filled with hair,
But most worrisome the tops of my ears have sprouted furry points
Like a lynx.
What’s the evolutionary advantage of a middle age removal man having furry Vulcan ears?!!
Now I’m not one of those male grooming puffs.
As many of you know I sport a beard that would guarantee me a walk on part in the Hobbit.
But that’s by choice
I have control over that.
So what else is in-store for me?
A tail?
Will I moult in summer?
Am I more prone to ticks an fleas?
How did Lon Chaney deal with this?
Luckily vanity isn’t one of my failings.
Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt
Those symptoms sound like you could be a P@kistani or a dog.
I know which one I would choose..
And 350 is dog years is not to be sniffed at.
14
Morning BZ, chaps.
Maybe pakı women wear the burka because, underneath it, they look like that lady in the nom pic.
I’ve always though that MNC looks like the love child of Brian Blessed and Sandi Toksvig.
12
Baz@
At school when about 13-14yr, when lads grow a little bumfluff tash,
There was a Indian girl in our year who not only had a great little tash,
Like Kid Creole
She had a full set of muttonchop sideburns like that bloke from britpop band Supergrass.
I was in awe.
14
what do Pakistani women dunk in their tea? Their moustache’s.
13
So a stool pigeon.. caught by the fuzz..
5
Having more hair in your ears 👂 and up your nose 👃 than on top of your head is indeed a cunt.
Also my beard is grey these days which is for some reason a real painful cunt when I shave 🪒 it off
10
First sign of madness is hairy palms – second sign of madness is looking for any!
8
I always thought the first sign of Madness was Suggs knocking on your door.
19
In addition to all of the post pubescent changes accurately identified, grey pubic hairs do nothing to enhance one’s meat and two vegetables. Uncontrolled, unwanted, follic changes are indeed CUNTS.
11
I feel somehow I’m being cheated.
More muscle mass, maybe strong claws or something useful as I got older.
But hairy ears?!!
My nostrils look like Tina Turner potholing.
Clogged with thick hair,
Surely, it’s better in evolutionary terms to have clear airways?
15
Morning MCM, morning all.
The hair thing on top of the ears is indeed a cunt.
I too suffer from this, but the hair is really wiry and black, fuck knows what gene that’s from as I am/was fair headed.
But the weird thing is if it’s cut off it’s back just as long in a couple of days. 🙄
7
I’m a similar vintage to you MNC, also not a puff, but I’ve noticed one hair on each eyebrow now grows to about 9 metres in length if I don’t cut it off every week.
I also need to wipe my arse now and again for no reason whatsoever. Sweaty arse crack innit? And I need to clean my earholes out every week. I could make statues out of the brown wax in them if I don’t clean the cunts out. For some reason, I like to sniff my earwax and all. Fucking minging it is. Maybe I’ll upgrade to sniffing the shite on my bog paper soon? Work my way up like.
Good fucking morning.
Enjoy your breakfasts.
15
CB@
Yeah!
If you save up your earwax you can sell it to the Marmite factory.
Think it’s £30per kilo.
That’s what Marmite is.
Earwax.
8
I like Marmite. I find Twiglets moreish.
Something in that MNC.
Unrelated, but I like Bovril too but gave it up after finding out it’s like pouring a bag of salt down your throat.
4
Heathen MNC, Marmite is the God of all food.
1
Sniffing your own ear wax?
Not related to Chris packham by any chance?
Work for the BBC and lisp slightly.
8
It’s a good night in Barry, don’t knock it.
5
I also like the smell of my farts. Especially the rank ones after a hangover.
Incidentally, I once had a hangover shite so potent and toxic that the Mrs (who slept in a spare bedroom that night due to my highly potent farts) dry retched on entering the bathroom and commented that the room was warmand humid in winter from my toxic arse chemicals.
I was most proud about that too, I can tell you.
14
😆😆👍
3
Fuck me Cunty, you must be playing a big part in that there climate change all by yourself.
6
My ringpiece stole Greta’s future.
3
Showing the world that you have hair exploding from various orifices is a sure sign of impotency.
You have given up trying to look attractive to woman because you can no longer achieve or maintain an erection.
If you are married and your wife has not pointed out your strange hair growth and suggested that you do something about it then she is obviously having an affair.
She no longer cares about you.
A gentleman should always be well groomed.
12
I am well groomed!
I always shake the crumbs from my beard in a morning,
Use a damp rag to wipe the gravy stains off my Motorhead ♠️ t-shirt
And wring out my undercrackers.
Your right about the impotence though
Dead below the belt.
Although,
I’m stiff as a broom handle if they shout for help?!
10
I’m a gentleman and I was well groomed.
When I was on Jim’ll Fix It in 1981.
19
First my nostrils then my ears, unattended it looks like a nest of Daddy long legs in there. As for my eyebrows I look like an evil Soviet scientist from a Bond film and my fucking beard has gone grey yet my mop is still blonde. Cunt!
8
My hair looks blond yet when I cut it the trimmings mostly look grey. Weird.
4
I’m lucky, I don’t suffer from mid-life excess hair growth. To prove it, this is me:
https://carryon.fandom.com/wiki/Oddbod_Junior
6
They are doing grooming deals at pets at home this month and a Front line subscription that looks pretty good, you should have a look MNC
7
Top nomming, MNC.
Ears, nose, eyebrows. by the time I have trimmed that little lot the bathroom sink needs unblocking.
We had a maths teacher who used to set us some test from a text book and then spend the rest of the time plucking his eyebrows and nose hairs, clipping his finger nails, and combing his fucking moustache. All the clippings were then collected up in a tissue that he put in the breast pocket of his blazer. He had a mirror, tweezers, little scissors, nail clippers and comb, all kept in a little zipped leather case. – what an absolute cunt. He might have been a dago and/or a diabolist.
Good morning, everyone.
7
Probably a Spaniard 20.
They wax their balls and wear thong undercrackers.
Dreadful greasy people
6
Top tip: The surest sign of a diabolist is his eyebrows. They will meet in the middle. It is uncanny.
3
That is similar to women doing their makeup in public transport. Its a private thing. What if I had a shite in front of them, they’d complain, quite rightly so.
4
Also, TTCUS, the teacher might have had an overbearing wife who ate all his trimmings in a her food eventually.
4
All this talk of unwanted hair,reminds me of a solution for all our new unwanted hairy people..
We now have 100 plus schools empty.
Perfect for our invaders, lock them in and await the results.
If after six months the school is still standing, great news.
If it collapses, great news..
Bulldoze and start again.
It’s a win/win.
11
Hair starts thinning on top but somehow the male body thinks it can compensate with back hair and so on.
A ridiculous situation.
Probably started by Brexit.
Good morning gents.
10
I count myself lucky to be blessed with a good head of hair at my age.
My pal Big Al is bitter about the state of his barnet; says his missus has got more hair on her fanny than he’s got on his head.
6
Did anyone have Mohammed Al Fayed in the dead pool?
3
No. But his family are preparing to throw him in.
3
I guess it’s nature’s way of making us less attractive to women so they go for the younger more virile option.
Hair loss on top and hair growth in the ears and nose isn’t so bad. Imagine if we all started to look like Danniela Westbrook!
8
It’s the random inch long hair that appears out of your ears overnight that gets me. Obviously your eyesight has gone past the point when it’s obvious when you look in the mirror but the fucking thing is there like a mini antenna.
Aging is definitely a cunt.
3
It’s bizarre.
I have that one grows on the top of each ear. Just one. Have to keep chopping the fuckers off.
Morning all.
4
Random pubic hairs growing out of the side of your ears, why?
Its one of life’s great mystery 😂
4
I knew when I saw the nom subject that there would be some funny comments and I wasn’t let down.
A good chuckle this morning.
3
A decent set of clippers and a nose/eybebrow trimmer will sort it out.
That bit from Bottom, where Richie gets Eddie to get a hair out of his nose never fails to make me laugh.
6
Here it is:
https://youtu.be/KuCa_texW_0?feature=shared
2
If you’re probably unaware of what happens to unwanted hair in crevices at Turkish hairdressers, they set fire to it without warning, turning you into a human fireball. Its normal to them due to their fellow countrymen having hair like fusewire.
6
I`m perfectly smooth.
6
That poor cunt probably doesn’t have any pubic hair to be played with.
3
As long as you aren’t experiencing an overwhelming urge to howl at a full moon, it’s nothing to worry about, Mis.
5
And also a Lon “long” Chaney in the toilet.
3
Bloody hell, MNC, talk about impressive. I’d KILL to look like a lynx.
Just resist the temptation to use those battery powered nose hair trimmers. Even waxing would be preferable to the pain those can inflict.
3
If you get anymore hairy, Mrs Miserable will be buying you a dog basket to kip in.
4
He’s been doing that for years. She sleeps with the dog.
4
Puts him on a lead too when out walking on the moors.
Can’t resist a good arse sniff.
3
Sirs:
Nose and ear hair is particularly disheartening.
There’s a choice once we get past a certain age. Either we take extra care to rid ourselves of the pstilence of nose hair, or we say “the hell with it” and morph into what neighborhood children and supermarket cashiers know as “That Weird Old Guy”
3
I have hair on my ears, tufted eyebrows and an almost white beard hair on my.chin but am already thinning out on top, and have been since I was 30.
1
Nose, ear canal, and back hair all preceded me into my 50s. The loss of my Tom Cruise hair and good looks by age 40 has me looking more like Shrek by now. Nature is a cruel and cold cunt for sure. I’m glad I got married earlier in life so I wouldn’t have to be trying to compete in the dating scene looking like Uncle Fester.
Does anyone have Jimmy Buffett in the Dead Pool?
1
I have noticed my eyebrows are starting to get thicker and I’m only early 40s. I’ll be like Denis Healey by the time I’m 45.
If I need glasses at the same time I’ll resemble a horned owl.
4