Horse shit left behind is a cunt

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In fact I would go as far as to say that it is a massive pile of steaming horse shite of a cunt.

I live in the Lincolnshire country side and feel privileged in doing so. I have a dog and have fields footpaths and woods near by in which I can walk the little fucker. Being a responsible dog walker I pick his shit up and put it in a bin.

Horse owners ride their horses around the same fields paths and woods but never clean up after their horse as left a stone of shit on the floor. Why? small shovel or trowel shopping bag and take it home for your roses you cunt.

Apparently councils do not have the power to make riders clean up after their nags.

So there you have it dog owners can get fined horse owners can’t. What a pile of fucking bullshit.

get surrey

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

52 thoughts on “Horse shit left behind is a cunt”

  1. In our streets it is not the horse shit you need to worry about. It is the dog crap left by the staffies and pit bulls, and the human excrement left by the gibbering smack heads. Fucking disgusting, but I suspect not unique in the paradise that is now Great Britain.

    Good morning, everyone.

  2. Well, I agree that horse shit should be cleared up if it is shat on the road.

    When there are any parades involving horses the shit seems to be quickly shoveled up by flunkies.
    Not so when horses are just being riden from one field to another.

    But horse shit in other places is usually a good thing.
    It’s good for nature.

    If it makes roses and other stuff grow then it can’t be bad.

    Horses are herbivores.
    Herbivore shit supports a whole ecosystem.
    Without that ecosystem we would be neck deep in shit on farmlands.

    Dog shit is a whole different thing.
    Being carnivores their shit is not good.

    This report is brought to you by your shit correspondent.

  3. As Artful says, the main reason seems to be down to the animals diet. Dog doo doo contains more harmful bacteria due to their meat consumption compared to the grass/grain diet of a gee-gee
    If you’re a vegan, therefore, feel free to take a dump in the middle of your local shopping centre and claim it isn’t harmful if anyone complains.

  4. I think I know the answer if John Wayne rode into town ,
    And you shouted

    “Excuse me Duke!
    Can you come back and pick up your horse shit?”

    He’d rightly shoot you.

    Horse shit is fine,
    It’s never bothered me a few horse apples in the street.
    Get it on the garden and stop mithering the equestrians.

  5. Horse 🍎🍎 work wonders on the garden. I would let a horse roam in my rear garden for a few days in exchange for a few loads of its nutritious 🍎🍎.

    • Not so long ago the streets would of been full of horse dollops.
      It was everyone’s mode of transport.
      And how deliveries were made.

      No one made a fuss about it.

      I quite like the smell,
      It’s good for gardening,
      As we’ve said .

      For someone to dismount, tether their horse, scoop up it’s dollops then get back in the saddle?!

      It’d ruin cowboy films
      Is he going for his gun?
      No just getting his poobag out.

  6. You cannot expect horsey types to waste their time clearing up after their nags. They are much too busy making free with their riding crops and tack whilst having kinky sex with stable lads. I know this to be the case as I have seen it on film.

    • Those old wanted dead or alive posters

      Billy the kid

      Wanted for
      Killing a lawman
      Killing a rancher
      Horse rustling
      Cattle rustling
      Not picking up poo

      Do behave

    • Horsey girls are usually well-bred types. Lots around my way. I doff my cap and tug my non-existent forelock as they pass and call me a ‘grotty little man’.

  7. I’m delighted when a horse shits outside our door. I’m straight out there, shovel it up and put it on my rhubarb.
    Though to be honest, Mrs Twatt prefers custard on hers.

    • You could always stick a flag in with your name on it. Collect it when steam free. Or is the steam a vital part of its function ?

      Get it whilst its hot !

      • Absolutely better when it is hot and steamy but put it on the compost first to rot down a bit otherwise it will burn the roses.

  8. Its a good job horses can’t be sick. That would be more of a nuisance. Suppose that can easily be hosed down the drain, not like their good old shit that helps things to grow for us to eat.

  10. Near me we have a Horse Police training school.
    The cunts ride along two abreast nattering,(mainly wimminz).
    If they reach a parked vehicle, one will ride on the pavement so as to carry on yacking and the horse usually dumps it’s load. So if you are pushing a buggy you’ll either have to go onto the road to get around it or get fouled.
    Oh did I mention these riders are cunts.

  11. I’m convinced that most of what people think is dog shit on the streets in London is actually human. Romanian gippos shit anywhere.

    • Probably correct. your Lordship. Gippos can shit wherever they want, and do. The whole cuntry is their official shit house – as enshrined in law.

  13. I think it was Churchill, when visiting Blenheim Palace, in a new dangled motor car was asked by the Duke of Marlborough to put a little pan under the car to collect the drips who replied “certainly if you will put a large pan under your horses to collect their drips”

  14. Nothing against horse riders except when they shit everywhere, when they moan at you for riding your mountain bike on footpaths and of course the cunts who chase foxes and barrel through fences and hedges making absolute cunts of themselves while on horseback, not really the fault of the horse.
    The saving grace is now and then the horse has revenge on these fuckers ,see old cunting for Sarah Mould who,s horse set her up to be videos punching her poor nag in the face, i bet she had him made into a pie now the shit storm has died down, like the hitman for Fray Bentos that she is…..another cunt with 6 legs but only 1 brain…..

  15. The Greens want to put nappies on cows, maybe they could do something for horses and deliver it straight to the nearest roses.

  16. Good moaning everyone.

    I am pleased this has been cunted as living in Londonistan there’s a horse riding school near us.

    These cunts are worse than cyclist in that they think they totally own the roads, I see them shouting often at car drivers.

    There was me thinking like Black Beauty these bests roam the meadows, but no, they seem to rinse the public taking people round the block on a horse, donkey at seaside comes to mind. Plus the owners are proper pikey, like something out of lock stock.

    A few weeks back I was relaxing in my front room only to hear the clickety clack of the pikey thieves with their horses. Three of the beasts none the less who seems to do synchronised shitting outside house, some of which landed right my car drives through. I might shit outside their stables – see how they like it.

  19. Tis the shit of the Camel that offends me. Passing the tethering rails on the High St is precarious at the best of times. A stray kick or a bite is bad enough. But to wade waist deep in Camel shit and slide past the many kebab stalls is tadge irritating for an old cunt like me.

  21. “Those goddam limeys said what?
    Pick up after my horse?!
    Why I oughta..
    Now listen here pilgrim,
    Some greenhorn worried about the sidewalk because Trigger dropped his ass,
    Well he oughta get some dam respect.

    This is still a free country and if he ain’t a goddamn Commie I’ll eat my hat.

    – Mr J.Wayne
    The ponderosa ranch
    Hollywood

  22. An old workmate of mine used to collect it for his garden. He tried taking two carrier bags with him on the bus but wasn’t allowed. He was also pissed as a fart.

  23. It’s the fucking cat shit that gets me.

    Evil furry killers let loose by their ‘owners’ to defecate in others gardens.

    It truly is disgusting and full of harmful bacteria that can do real and lasting damage.

    I’d rather have dump of horse shit any day of the week, the worst could be some nettle and clover seeds that pass through its system.

    • All this talk of defecation goes to remind us that everything eventually turns to shit, and the very planet we’re living on is a veritable shit heap. We’re spending our whole lives wallowing in dung. And we’re supposed to go to church and give thanks?

  24. Get used to horse shit, there will be tons of it on our streets when the powers at be finally get the great unwashed out of car’s….💩💩💩

  25. Horse shit seems to come off the bottom of your trainers better because it’s drier. Dog shit, the number of times I’ve trod on a dog egg, the squelch, that fucking smell, getting it off with a stick, trying to find a puddle to put your trainer in, the sight and sound of me dry heaving. Dirty bastards, the owners not the dog. I never walk with my head up, always look at the pavement with my dog shit detector eyes. I don’t even walk on the pavement at night if I can help it. Dog shit, another tick against the cesspit that is the UK.

  26. Spent me whole working life surrounded by and handling horse shit beautiful stuff, it’s when the fuckers get the squits and project it out at great velocity and the juice runs down the leg your shoeing stains your skin green or off yellow and when they get wound up and shit every bloody minute and keep standing in it drives you mad. Mind you not as bad as a mare in season squirting everywhere and lifting her tail to wink at you and wanting to kick your Swede off.

  27. For:
    Horseshit. Unlikely to infect you and good for gardens. Whose owners, round here, must watch the road continuously in order to beat me to the scene with a shovel, for that reason. Listen for the clip clop, people, and stand by to save a fortune in Gromore ™

    Against:
    Dogshit. All sorts of bacteria and parasites. Tip of the hat to most dog owners (not all, some are cunts and to them belongs the cunting) for picking the stuff up. This is a legal requirement in public places, but well done you, anyway. I wouldn’t. Thanks.

    Violently and vehemently against:
    Fucking cat shit. The product of the fucking cat. Loaded with diseases.
    It is legal for farmers to shoot dogs worrying their livestock, but allowing your fucking cat to excrete in a public place let alone someone’s lettuces is without penalty or sanction of any kind.

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