Emma Hayes

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I am delighted to see our women progressing in the world cup, they show a lot of spirit to come through tough matches. OK Lauren James is as thick as she is ugly, getting caught doing that stupid stamp. Her TV ads continue though. Don’t think that would happen with a male white footballer somehow.

Anyhow, ITV use Emma Hayes as the match pundit. I understand she is the successful Chelsea manager and all that but boy is she irritating or “irrita’ing” as she would say with her Estuary English glottal stop. She talks of “Abili’ies”, “Quali’ies”, “Tati’cal”, “Stra’egies”.

She has also introduced a lexicon of phrases hitherto unknown to football such as “second phase balls” and “double pivots”. Eh? Even the main commentator has stopped to ask her to explain what these mean to the TV audience.

She is also extremely butch and has previous form as the link proves.

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If we get to the final, please let it be on the BBC despite the woke all-female panel and Ian Wright.

Nominated by Lord Helpus.

53 thoughts on “Emma Hayes”

  2. Haha quite so.

    This ugly fucker sounds like an extra from that failed TV show The Eastenders.

    My top tip if tricked/coerced into watching Wimmin Footballing is to turn the sound off and play the soundtrack to a lesbian porn movie instead.

  3. The main problem with these split arse’s, is they never shut up. Blah blah blah.

    You are not the commentator you are a pundit.. and a know nothing one at that.

    It’s one more reason to stop watching sport..
    I now have to search for foreign streams just to watch a game, as sly and bt are box tickers.

  4. She is annoying as fuck, sounds like a bloke with mole grips clamped into his nuts. If she’s confined to the woman’s game fine but they allow her to commentate on the men’s game and she drags that down too.

    I don’t like football commentators at the best of times, it’s the most puerile occupations for men that have arrested development. Getting the butch harpies in on the act makes it even worse.

    Any adult that gets that excited over a game of football has issues.

    https://youtu.be/Z0cfPHNuIao?feature=shared

    • You could say the same of anyone with a passion for any sport or hobby.

      What an utterly stupid comment.

      • So you can’t have passion for something without reverting to a five year old? Maybe you can’t but I can.

  6. I can’t agree with this cunting. She may well be annoying, but not a cunt for talking about aspects of the game the author is unfamiliar with.

    Many footballers and football coaches in the south of England have Estuary or some regional accent. That seems a petty criticism.

    The second phase stuff i’m not too clear on but have heard ‘phase of play’ referenced in the men’s game and ‘double pivot’ is quite a well-known phrase in football.

    The double pivot is the two players playing centre-midfield in front of a back four in the 4-2-3-1 formation. One plays as a holding midfielder and the other is more of a distributor/playmaker or Box-to-box type. I believe the term was coined by its use in Spanish or Italian football tactics.

    • Well done, CP.

      My point is that she uses pretentious phrases not normally heard in UK commentaries, probably to give the impression that she knows better than the male pundits.

      Double pivots ffs!

  8. I had the displeasure of watching a rugby match a couple of weeks ago (Italy vs Georgia I think) where the commentator and co-commentator were bints.
    On and fucking on she went, scarcely a pause for breath, in a high pitched fingernails down a blackboard voice.
    A men’s rugby match.
    It was fucking appalling.
    Something happened that she deemed “delicious”
    I assume she’d stopped commentating the game and had her face buried in her co-commentator’s sweaty lesbo minge.

  9. This week there was a bbc story on one of the wimmin football players getting some sort of award,. They opened an HYS on it which allowed comments.

    I though I would test the water and see how pathetic posting anything other than what is considered the bbc ‘agenda’, so I left a comment that simply said……
    ‘she’s pretty’

    Which, I think she is- genuinely

    Within a minute is was either reported by a woke sensitive soul who read it or the bbc automatically picked it up. I received an automated email from the bbc moderators stating my comment was removed as it was considered to be (amongst others) ‘sexist’ ‘off topic’ and ‘likely to disrupt’

    Bunch of cunts

  10. Perhaps she could pundit next to the Carragher cunt and he could spit all over her? Her hair would turn green.

  11. Now I know who she is. I had to stop watching a game she was punditing on as it was so irritating. I’m sure she is making it up to sound like “one of the lads” – like Blair used to.

    • Just to follow on – surely the TV companies (is this one Sky?) must know that 90% of those watching can’t stand the split-arses commenting? They are so fucking venal that I’m sure they would stop it if they lost advertising revenue if we all stopped watching it.

  12. Good to see admin pick a flattering picture of the lard ass, she has had a successful career but commentating is best left to men, just enough is fine but these women do go on a bit.

    Men speak, women rabbit.

    Sue Smith is annoying, very annoying 😂

  13. Serves you right for watching utter shit on a TV channel who’s content is made for and by cunts.

  14. You will know from my previous comments on the two main sports, I watch in silence and I’m glad you lads and lasses fill me in with what nonsensical shite I’ve already predicted, is being said. It appears to be getting worse after me pulling out some years ago, also a prediction. Things always get worse, never improve. The improvements, I’ve made, by not listening. You will also live longer.

  15. Only lazy cunts watch TV football, being there is OK. And only fucking cunts listen to the gormless thick drivel that infests the matches.
    Indian summer, fucking handsome!

  16. There was a Joey Hayes who played for Shitie at Main Road in the 50s. Could be the grand father of this lazy tart. Sometimes things could’ve been avoided, by pulling out and letting the spunk run down her grandmothers leg.

  17. Sadly the art of punditry has been lost and a truly skilled commentator would put a stop to the relentless talking of bollocks.
    James Hunt had a habit of snatching the mic off of Murray Walker in their early days. Murray would angrily snatch it back.
    ‘I do the commentary, you give a brief professional insight when I prompt you’, or words to that effect.
    All pundits have got too big for their boots nowadays.
    The likes of Chris Sutton shouting down the mic calling players a disgrace etc.
    Because I’m a sexist, misogynistic old bastard, I can’t stand wimminz shrieking through any sport. Be it Clare fucking Balding, Gaby Logan or whoever.
    But the men are no fucking better now.

  18. The funniest thing is the cunts who complain about tarts like this on the footy who don’t even pay for Sly or TNT Sports but moan.

    Do what I do and find coverage on the international PL feed (although Karen fucking Carney infested it last weekend, the annoying cunt). English commentators and less chance of a split arse sticking their oar in. Same for Bein Sports. The camel shaggers allow Keys and Gray, but they probably think they’re too woke. No fucking way they’re having split arses or ramming BLM and gayness laces down your throats.

    Did I say ‘I’, I meant a bloke I once met in the pub, obviously.

    But yes, Hayes is worse than Karen ‘on every fucking show’ Carney.

    Emma Hayes talks bollocks (‘He’s ranked 5th in the Romanian league for duels won’) and never fucking stops yapping.

    Get them off the box ffs!

  19. Excellent cunting, not least for its allusion to the glo’ ‘al stop, inni’.

    But over the last couple of decades, since its popularisation by (who else?) Tony Blair, it has spread far, far beyond the purlieux of Ilford – or indeed Glasgow, Manchester and the less refined bits of Newcastle, where it was also endemic. It received a huge boost from ghe’ ‘o culcha, as African tribal norms are now described. This appears to be largely because the African tongue is rather too big fro the African mouth, and leads to ‘th’ becoming ‘f’ as well.

    Nowadays, almost any media tosser under 40, and many over 40, may be heard endorsing the systematic destruction of what was once an expressive and adaptable language, as to both its alphabet and its grammar.

    But if you listen carefully, many media cunts slip up from time to time, and forget to mute their terminal “t” one minuTe but remember it the nex’ time i’ occurs. And most of them did English degrees! They come out of the most expensive education money can buy and they talk like that to appear demo’ic. Fuck me.

    I keep meaning to nomina’e ve disgustin’ ‘abi’ts into which my na’ ive tongue ‘as fallen, bu’ I carn seem to ge’ rid of awl a stuff they taw’ me a’ school…

    • The glottal stop and the yankie D for a T, have been eradicated by me. I mute the twats !

    • Couldn’t agree more Komodo. I’m afraid it still causes me physical pain when I hear cabinet ministers casually splitting their infinitives. As regards your point regarding the great and the good who remember mid-sentence to corrupt the language reminds me of an interview with Cherie Blair where she said “going to” and immediately corrected herself to “gonna.”

  20. A cock in the gob is an effective way of curtailing inane feminine chatter 💪

    Afternoon chaps. 👍

  21. All you women on football panel shows, should only show your hidden talents, by making all the lads a cup of tea. Don’t forget to ask who wants sugar.

      • Good idea, arfurbrain. That could be a thing for the future. The thick female panellists dance round their male superiors, trying to put them off. Disrobing as the former superstars are doing their best not to talk bollocks like they did. Will look more into it. This will bring in more viewers.

  23. Take ronnie barker from porrigde and stick a blond wig on it and you have emma hayes. Try it.

  25. No style, no class, can’t talk properly.
    And about as sexy as a dose of malaria.

    Looks like Hulk Hogan without the tache.

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