Be they on the desk of a GP surgery or hospital department, they seem to be completely unable in performing the most basic tasks, especially passing on important clinical information to relevant medical staff, and are one of the reasons the service is so inefficient. Pen pushers soaking up taxpayers money and none of them have a clue of what is happening or don’t give doctors what they need to know.
In my own case, in the past two months receptionists haven’t told doctors of clinical details they needed to know, leading to wasted journeys, and now a possible abandoned procedure, despite me informing these daft bints well ahead of time. It’s left to a nurse specialist to email the doctor/department directly when the admin staff can’t be fucked to communicate. too busy on fucking Facebook, perhaps? Half sound as if they’ve been on Mogadon; dopey, slow-witted, clueless fuckwits. The other half sound distracted and glib, as if what you’re saying is entering one ear and exiting the other, without sparking any neurons on it’s way through.
I generally expect important clinical information to be passed to the relevant doctors as it does have an effect of how clinic visits and procedures are planned, but this doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Doctors are also now not aware of their departments’ correspondence with GPs, despite the GP sending texts to patients saying the hospital would like blood tests for X, Y and Z done.
This is not that new though, severe -even life-threatening- incompetence seems to be a pat of the criteria for the NHS receptionist. Back in 2008 I had chemo for bollock cancer. Chemo can fuck with your immunity and I developed neutropenic sepsis. I phoned the chemo ward as I had been instructed, and the receptionist/administrator said they had no beds and I should go to my local hospital.
According to my consultant this should never have happened, and he was livid.
They could all be replaced with some sort of Chat bot and the NHS would run far more efficiently, although if developed under government contract at eyewatering expense, might not work at all.
Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.
They are a result of lazy doctors.
If a doctor were to tell them that their job is to handle appointments and supply patient notes then perhaps they would be tolerated.
But receptionists now see themselves as part of the Medical Profession.
They think that they are important.
15
Just like the morons who work in the chemists in Tesco (other rip-off global cunts are available).
Me: I’d like some calpol for an 8 year-old please.
Her: Can I ask who it’s for please?
Me: An 8 year old, obviously.
Her: Yes, but who?
Me: OK then….. my dad.
Her: And what symptoms have they got?
Me: I’m afraid that’s confidential medical information, between the patient and their GP.
Her: Oh, have they been to a GP?
Me: I’m afraid that’s confidential medical information, between the patient and their GP.
Her: I need to know their symptoms before I can dispense.
Me: No you don’t, all you’ve got to do is put it in one of those little bags and take my money. There’s no “dispense” to this transaction at all.
Her: But I need more information.
Me: OK, I’ll give you some information- instead of wasting another second of my life talking to you, I’ll just pick some of it up from the rack over there and take it to the till, where they’ll just bung it through without being nosey.
FUCK OFF YOU ARE NOT A GP.
And you can ram that “Love the NHS” badge right up your shitter.
Cunt.
26
I asked for headache pills in one chemist and the assistant, who looked no more than 16 asked, “Have you had headaches before?”.
‘I have been married for over 10 years so what the fuck do you think?’.
21
Their main task seems to be preventing any appointments to see the Doc being made.
And no, I don’t want to tell sn office clerk what my medical problems are. GTF.
5
Any chatbot would likely only communicate in Urdu or Punjabi.
10
If we replaced border force with GP receptionists there would be no illegal immigration.
28
Iqbal: Hil-lo, I jj-ave fled my country because…
Receptionist: Sorry, call 111.
Iqbal: …but, me want hotel room, free house and money…
Receptionist: Try the local hospital or fuck off back to Calais.
14
That story in the link sums the NHS up perfectly..
Employ someone completely unsuitable, let them play the sick scheme for 10/15 years..
Finally try to get rid of,hit with large compo bill..
Rinse and repeat thousands of times..
I WANT MY MONEY BACK..
6
I don’t blame her, I blame the useless cunt who employed her in a ‘patient-facing’ role, knowing full well that she was in no position to face patients.
3
The envy of the world…
5
Two questions spring to mind:
Did she make her phobia clear to her managers before she formally accepted the job? If she only disclosed it AFTER accepting the role, then she cheated.
If she has this problem, how did she cope with the stress of an interview? Most people, even when comfortable in ‘normal’ situations, find job interviews an ordeal.
6
Doctors study for seven years to practise as medical professionals whereas receptionists do a fortnight’s training.
6
To be fair that’s 13 more days training than it takes to become a MP..
12
Which consists of here is the subsidized bar and canteen. Here is your office where you can employ your family members..
And finally here is where we keep the expenses forms, don’t worry there’s always a big pile..
Now get troughing.
14
The government should employ NHS receptionists as part of the UK border force.
5
Sorry
Odin beat me to it.
2
Receptionist from all walks of life would be our Mums Army.
0
Unfortunately I’ve seen several family members have to go through exactly this.
Disastrous lack of communication,incompetence and total fuckwits lead to very ill people having to make wasted journeys that end up delaying vital treatment.
Some of the cunts need flaying.
6
Good nom. Ours seem like clones of the late Irma Grese but with a little less charm. I do not know first hand, of course, as I never go near a doctor – in case I have something wrong with me! One butch bitch tried to tell Mrs Twenty how to treat something or other. Bad mistake!
I sort of understand how they are necessary as obstacles to fat malingering bennies spongers and gibbering, dribbling, arseless druggies. However, they should know who their genuine patients are and behave sympathetically on the basis they will probably be sick!
Good morning, everyone.
7
Only one up from the evolutionary process than dental receptionists – absolute cunts – and yes I’ve got a fucking toothache today – oh we can fit you in second week of October….
Don’t worry will piss her indoors off and she can knock it out.
6
A receptionist with public phobia. Only in the public sector. I’ll have a word with our HR about my work phobia and see how I get on.
4
When I visited the Soviet Union, the evil blonde haired thug at the airport was more welcoming than the dreaded GP receptionist. They have been trained by Rosa Klebb.
6
I wonder if Mr fry had to get past a incompetent receptionist..
https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/23803316.stephen-fry-injured-stage-fall-o2-london/
Should of used a hologram the clumsy twat..
3
Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
3
One time, by some miracle, I found myself in the Doctors waiting room on my own. No jabbering w*gs and their screaming brats……must have been Ramadamadingdong or something.
Anyway the phone rings and the bitch answers it, mumbles a few words, presses a button and speaks to the Doc.
“I’ve got ……….. ………. (says the full name) on the phone asking about her test results. She’s got Chlamydia, do you want to tell her or shall I?” Then presses the button and puts the phone down.
What the fuck? This bird could be my daughter, my mate’s wife or my next door neighbour and now I know she’s got a dose. Fucking outrageous!
Made me wonder if my name and medical history is being bandied around the waiting room. Not that it would matter…..most of them can’t speak English anyway and wouldn’t know me from Adam. But that’s not the fucking point!
14
Some people employed in the NHS have a pretty cavalier attitude to patient confidentiality to put it politely Freddie, even including one or two medics I have known. I’ve posted before of a woman of my acquaintance who has an admin job in a GP surgery and routinely checks the medical records of her daughter’s latest boy friend. Then again if you’ve seen the programme “GPs behind closed doors” on channel 5, it makes you wonder!
The cartoon in CP’s link is chillingly accurate. I was at the reception desk of the main local hospital when the young woman behind the counter was sorting and filing papers. Now keeping track of records can be vitally important and I’m not knocking her for that. However it was striking that she seemed not to have the wit to make the briefest eye contact and nod of the head to the person at the counter to give the message; “I know you’re there, I’ll be with you in a moment.” The impression given was of being completely and deliberately ignored.
9
O/T and slightly amusing, even footpaths are racist…!
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/sep/20/ramblers-study-whitest-areas-more-local-paths
6
And what is this, you require me to blurt out my address in a crowded room to prove who i am, i dont think this is right so i am having a card made with my details on it so i can flash it like a warrant card. Im the the sweeney son give me my prescription. Jobsworth cunts.
10
To be fair to underperforming receptionists, it’s not entirely their fault. My wife was was made redundant at an age where she was able to take her pension early and put her feet up. Not being bone idle, and understandably not wanting to spend any more time around me, she found part time employment in a local GP partnership practice where she works conscientiously and diligently. That said, not all of them do. Yet they can only get away with what they’re allowed to. This raises the question of who is letting them get away with it. From what I’ve gleaned, this is due to a combination of bad management and lack of partner (i.e. GP) involvement. Employed GPs are just as guilty too. They rely on the system to function efficiently and properly without spending a little time to check that it is. I’ve lost track of the number of times that she’s told me that something’s gone wrong and I’ve replied, ‘’Don’t they ever check?’’. Trust me, where she works they rarely do. They may be excellent clinicians but they haven’t got much idea when it comes to running a business. A GP practice receives almost all of its funding from the NHS. Just as for controlling shareholders in an incorporated business, it is the partners’ responsibility to see that this income is spent wisely with any surplus after costs to be shared between the partners after setting something aside as a reserve or for future investment in the business. It baffles me as to why the partners in my wife’s case have so little involvement in what, contrary to what one poster has said, is an important administrative function and an essential channel of communication. If it wasn’t important it wouldn’t matter so why moan about it in the first place? In closing, after several lousy jobs I trained and grafted my way into professional employment and relied on a team support staff and their manager to perform certain functions to support me in my role. I always found time to see that they were discharging their duties to a high level of competence and was only very rarely let down. Would that certain doctors did the same.
7
Sometimes it’s the receptionist, sometimes it’s the total shitheads they have to deal with, often a combination of both….
6
This town’s full of shitheads, most of them ignorant, entitled and self-important twats to boot. After taking early retirement my wife found part time work as a receptionist in a large GP practice. You wouldn’t believe some of the things that have been said to all 5’4’’ of her. I, 6’4’’, 17 stones and who works out, would have knocked out some of the fuckers on the spot for their attitudes and the way they have spoken to her. Grade A cunts!
7
As a frequent hospital visitor I thoroughly support this cunting. From being incapable of being at their desk for 9am to deal with patients who have been waiting patiently on time to be registered, to refusing to look you in the face when they talk to you, to their passive-aggressive threats that if you are a nuisance you will not be seen, to reluctantly agreeing to pass on paper work to the relevant specialist, there is not a rude abomination they have not committed.
But while they treat the polite NHS hospital patient like shit, if some angry, aggressive or pushy member of our beloved minorities start mouthing off, they get ushered through, queue-jumping to see the specialist first.
I have even seen cunts turn up on the wrong day, then start all the brud brud innit talk, and then even get seen there and then on the wrong day, while the fawning receptionist coos soothingly to them.
Cunts one and all.
11
There have been a few occasions, where I have wanted to reach down the phone and strangle the receptionist with the telephone cord.
They think their GP’s, asking prying, Spanish inquisition style questions.
Next time I phone and they say:
“What’s the problem” I am tempted to say:
“it’s a bit embarrassing. You see, I have a really large John Thomas and I can’t stop using it on ladies, they love it. I also have problems tucking it into my trousers and hope one of your lovely female GP’s might be able to assist with my plight”.
7
You are Russell Bland and I claim my money for 5 five visits to the Barbers…
4
They are cunts, in my doctors we have a group of middle aged bitches who stand around, talk while the phones are ringing off the hook and the look they give you if anyone from the que of people stood at the reception desk tries to get their attention or interupt their conversation is unreal.
My conclusion is, these jumped up Gistapo bitches would enjoy being traffic wardens, they are full of their own importance and will go to any length to be as useless and unhelpfull as possible, all while sat under a sign saying abuse will not be tolerated, so you cant even give them the shit they richly deserve otherwise you will find yourself in NHS no mans land, your records will be shredded, all meaning you are even less to be able to use the system you have been paying for all your fucking life….
6
I hate these witches with a passion.
The first time I wanted to see a doctor in more than ten years following an accident which put me in hospital, and they were determined to send me anywhere else.
In the end I had to apply for a sick note on the web, and the stupid bastards gave me a note for one week, even though I was unable to walk without crutches.
I had to go back to hospital to see the consultant, who wasn’t very happy I was wasting his time. Especially as they get paid so little.
Next up, I will have to deal with their stablemates in HR.
6
I just had a similar experience of incompetence/idleness from my GP surgery.
Had a scan two weeks ago and was told I would receive results in a few days.
Waited nearly two weeks and zilch! Phoned surgery and was told by receptionist; “Everything normal” asked why they didn’t inform me, was told they had too many patients to do it individually (?).
I asked for written confirmation and was given an email print out. This could have been forwarded to me without having to waste mine and their time and paper .
This practise spends a lot of time sending texts for flu jabs, covid jabs, blood pressure tests (which they expect you to do with your own machine, that’s a cunting in it’s self). But they can’t be arsed to send/inform you on the results that may be serious.
I think the time has come for GP practises to be done away with and replaced by local health centres.
6
I’ve every sympathy Cuntalugs but the position that if you don’t get the results everything is OK I believe is the standard MO across the NHS. Again someone at the surgery should have the wit to tell you that up front, especially if you are not one of the regular nuisances/patients. At our surgery there is a facility we use where you can access your records on the net. You can then get your test results and hunt around to find out what they mean. I confess we have an advantage here in that our elder daughter is a doctor. Best of luck!
4
Thanks for the info Afur.
I am one of those who rarely go to the doctor if I can help it, usually 1or 2 years, but I am of an age where lumps and bumps worry me. 🙁
2
a good cunting nom. doctors receptionists are all cunts who seem to have god syndrome, and worship the ground the doctors walk on, and try and protect them from us mere mortal ill plebs.
i fucking hate them
7
During the ahem pandemic it was probably easier accessing the Bank of England vaults than getting into the GPs building. Buzzers, masks, screens, distancing you fucking name it.
When you finally got to sit down well away from the other vacant chairs a quick look through the receptionist’s window showed 6 of these fuckers (why always women too) chatting away with the obligatory cup of tea.
Posters of various precautions and self help along with local support groups adorn the walls, info on jabs and tests etc.
Tannoy goes, Mr infidel to room 3 so on the way past the heavily armed counter I ask about a test for diabetes.
You need to phone us to arrange that.
Yes but I’m here now.
Sorry phone only.
I walk away fuming and she shouts after me …
Between 0800 and 0810
Fuck off m, just fuck off.
7
Is she saying that at 08:10 they stop answering the phones? If so Infidel you’re stuffed. There’s no way you will get answered within 10 minutes.
3
Tbh arfurbrain I may have fucked up, it could have been by online app 0800/0810 which we have 2 of.
If you’re not online then phone it is in which case no chance.
I’ve lost interest, they’re all cunts.
1
I like the questions regarding your symptoms on reception so everyone and their Grandad can hear. When you’re struggling with weeping Piles, the last thing you want to do is tell some nosey cunt. Is it just me or do you think they want all the white working class to die off and be replaced by 100,000s of thousands of wannabe Christopher Columbus’s crossing the English Channel every 10 minutes? Bet they don’t have this shit when they’re sent to a BUPA hospital with their 8 kids suffering from Umbingo Umbongo Disease.
6
All I can say about the local GP receptionists is they aren’t terrible, but the intra/inter-hospital communication (tests done in one, doctor based at another, or different trust) are pretty awful.
The secretaries to consultants are usually more able and speak English.
It’s so dispiriting when you speak on the phone or seem them at the desk and they’re these fat moon-faced mongs or slow old dears who can barely look away from their screen.
3
There used to be a receptionist at my local medical centre who would just glare at me when I went in. I knew I wasn’t going to get a thing from her, no appointment, no advice, no help whatsoever, she didn’t even want to speak to me. It got to the point where if I went in and saw her behind the counter, I’d leave and go back later. I used to think that maybe I reminded her of her ex-husband. She couldn’t have been like that with everyone or she wouldn’t have lasted two weeks in the job.
4
They’re the same in Portugal. Couple of weeks ago and old codger was feeling particularly unwell so stopped at a GP surgery (Johnny foreigner equivalent) and asked to see a medical professional. He was told if he was that ill he should call 112 and he wasn’t welcome there, upon which news he snuffed it on the door step to prove he wasn’t pulling their leg.
If the receptionist has let him in he might have died anyway, but at least the old git would have gone with some dignity.
Bunch of cunts
6
My clinistion has cancelled are appointment, claims working from home, because of a spike in covid, that old chesnut.
1