are a company of cunts, especially their cunt bosses, Zaafir Jamal [nice Welsh name] and Ryan Wallace.
[ looks like a dodgy double glazing salesman, probably was once] and all their employees are cunts of the highest order.
These pieces of snake shit couldn’t get any lower, they encourage their under payed employees to force people on their door steps to sign up for direct debits to charities, they do the hard sell all the time filming the victim, trying to get him to say yes on camera, so these fuckers can get their commission.
Luckily they have been caught red handed and exposed as the dishonest cunts they are, i hope these fuckpigs meet Karma one day very soon, a nom on ISAC is just what these barrels of monkey spunk deserve….
Nominated by Fuglyucker.
Surely when the folks respond, the charity cunts and their cameras are showered with mountains of phlegm?
7
Any money a Welshie has is undeserved tax money given with English generosity.
And any Welshie stupid and/or weak-willed enough to sign up for a direct debit because some cunt turning up on their rainy doorstep asked for it shouldn’t be entrusted with it in the first place 🏴
10
The women will only spend it on boxes of chips and doner meat, chicken burgers and bacardi breezers.
0
Office above a former poundland, fuck me, what is that more than a welshman can afford.
Chuggers can get fucked, probably collecting for the traitorous lifeboat scum.
Or traumatised sheep..
8
Typical of the welshies this sort of thing
Then virtue signalling in chapel of a Sunday.
But on the whole I couldn’t give a fuck.
Not near me,
And that’s all that matters.
10
Wallace, Jamal, Mojico.
What a shame Lucy Letby wasn’t on duty when they were born.
11
I’d have told them to fucking gogogoch.
6
I’m a hard sell for the door step challenge.
I don’t like any charities
I have zero patience for others
I’m not interested in anyone elses political views
And I resent you in my garden.
And if you bring cameras I’ll ramp it up as a natural show off
Here’s how you do it
MNC. ” What the fuck do you want?”
Salesman ” eerr, hello! I represent the charity Africa in need.
Did you know every year 5000 African children die due to dirty water?”
MNC. ” Good “.
Salesman ” sorry?!”
MNC ” I said good.
You fuckin deaf?
Why you treading mud all over my slate path?”
Salesman ” oh I’m sorry, what mud?
MNC ” oh liar am I?!
You bang on my door flick mud everywhere and call me a liar!!
I’ll set the fuckin dog on you!
Go on!!
See em off!”
Sorted.
Man management that.
21
Splendid!
Well done, that man.
Do you have a few moments to talk about polar bears?
5
Excellent coaching 😅… Would you mind if I glued Greta to your front door and then filmed her giving you one? (a lecture 👍)…
4
I am exactly the same.
0
But of course dear boy!
The polar bear is the largest of the ursus family,
At home in the water as much as on land.
One of the only animals who see man as prey and will stalk him.
Their livers contain so much iron it’s poisonous to eat.
So eat round the liver.
Endangered now due to man’s encroachment on their habitat,
They need saving.
For £5 a month you can help that happen .
Your grandkids will thank you.
6
Sold!
Err, how do I pay?
4
Unless the cunt is stalking you.
1
And they make fantastic rugs for the smoking room. 🐻❄️💥☠️
4
I’ve read the mission statement.
It appears that the polar bear charity advocates the culling of bears, on the premise that in a shrinking environment, fewer bears means that remaining bears would have a better chance of survival.
Then they breed, and often have two pups. What now, eh?
2
Read that as “They need shaving.”
No-one wants a bald rug.
0
I’ve had to tell charity cunts to fuck off on several occasions, once having to tell the cunt to fuck off while he was still capable. They lack the ability to understand the word ‘no’.
8
Anything to do with charities these days is a recipe for unadulterated cuntishness.
Luckily I despise most if them and am delighted to tell them this,should they ask,which isn’t very often due to me being a right miserable cunt.
Good show.
11
I don’t even speak to them.
I just point at the sign on my front door that reads
“No unsolicited callers”
Then shut the door.
8
I wonder if any cheeky wag has successfully suggested to a charity bird, “I’ll do £100 a month if you’ll give me a bj first, as you really believe in this cause” and then written down a bullshit account # and sort code after the lady’s tongue has concluded polishing his helm?
8
I have seen a fewf well fit charity doorsteppers in my time. They employ them because they think blokes will give in to them as they flutter their eyelashes and thrust their knockers out.
Got a nice eyefull, but no money for yer. Ta-Ta, love.
4
You like me will be glad dark greenwood will be replaced. I do wish you girls, especially white one take care when having anything to do with young black footballers who are a different culture to us. But they just don’t listen.
1
A lot of them have caused trouble at MUFC, Sammy.
Big Paul McGrath was a car crashing pisspot (great player though). Rio Ferdicunt was indeed a cunt of the highest order. Ravel Morrison was a nasty little turd. Wes Brown was a Big Time Charlie baked bean headed twat. Dwighty Boy tubbed the Price sinkhole and spawned the Harveymong. And now Mason Greenwood is added to the list.
3
And who can forget Remi Moses battering the fuck out of Jesper Olsen?
Fucking hard bastard, was Remi.
1
Wes Brown,who my mate thought was the future of England’s defence’.
Err..
0
MAAATE. Bloody good show Thomas.
3
Those Safestyle Windows sales people are scum.
On the day my mother died of the Big C, one of these cunts knocked on the door. Mithering about the usual crap (and eager to get his commission, of course). I politley declined, but still he went on. I then told him there had been a death in the family, still he persisted in his hard sell technique. I then said it was my mother and that it was a drawn out battle with cancer and that she’d died that morning. Cunt didn’t bat an eyelid. He insincerely said ‘sorry’ but then continued his shit. I then blew up at him, called him a parasite and told him to fuck off as I slammed the door in his face.
All doorsteppers (charity or sales) are cunts. But those Safestyle bastards really are vermin.
11
Fucking hell Norm, you did well not to knock the cunt out.
In a just society, had you murdered the cunt there and then on your doorstep, I’d have given you an OBE.
9
Invite them in Thomas.
They aren’t used to that .
Ask them to take their shoes off.
Then take their coat.
Then ask them if they’d be more comfortable in a silk kimono?
Go put one on yourself,
And accidentally have a Sharon stone moment.
Dim the lights
Put on stripper music.
They won’t be back
16
This assumes you haven’t locked them in first.
4
I do have a cellar that I was going to convert into a Fritzl complex, but a better idea might be to buy a poodle and kit it out like that pit on Silence of the Lambs?
That should do it. If the cunt is daft enough to come back after that, I’ll wear his skin and shag his nan in it. Then wear her skin just for a laugh.
5
Yeah the kimono dressing gown is a good one. a discreet flash of the old chap or scrote while flapping about talking about farm animsls works a treat.
0
I won’t give to any charity until I’ve read their small print, followed by a lengthy investigation to see where the money actually goes.
Who can you trust? Maybe some small local ones. But look at the rogues gallery below.
Oxfam for multiple reasons
RNLI using our money to rescue illegal immigrants
Captain Tom’s fucking family
Kids company and that monstrosity, Camilla Batmanjelly
Age UK for taking a six million pound bribe from an energy company to promote their elderly tariff.
They are just some of the ones who’ve actually been caught, so no doubt there’s others out there.
And another thing that boils my piss.
At one time, if a kid wanted to donate fifty pence or a pound to charity they could do so. Children in need is a prime example (they actively encourage kids to get involved in charitable activities).
But now it’s ‘Text 10 to donate £10’ or ‘Text 20 to donate £20’
So now the cunts dictate what they deem as a suitable donation. Just like those dodgy cunts trying to get people to sign up to direct debits for predetermined amounts.
They used to say that every penny counts, which was true.
Nowadays they’re just greedy cunts.
12
Indeed, FMC.
M’Tebe’s still walking 10 miles a day to collect 5 gallons of buffalo piss, even after 15 years.
He hasn’t aged a day.
Whatever they spend the donations on, it certainly isn’t TV ads.
6
M’tebe should dig a well or stop breeding.
Or just do the decent thing and just fucking die.
6
Get some rollerskate’s .
Mtembe could half the time, and spend the extra hours chopping firewood.
Or a bicycle.
I don’t normally approve of bicyclists
But would make a exception in Mtembes case .
Which is very charitable of me.
6
Indeed.
All that text 50 text 20 shite is cheeky as fuck.
Like offering a homeless man a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea and him saying he’ll only accept a pizza and a Costa Coffee Late (Ok, he’d probably want smack and a bottle of meths in reality, but you get what I mean innit?)
Get what you’re given you cheeky cunts. Which is fuck all from me anyway.
6
It takes far too many 50p’s to buy the CEO a brand new Merc.
9
Mate of mine signed up to a number of animal charidees being an animal lover.
His missus left him, which left him on the bones of his arse.
First thing to go in the budgeting frenzy was the direct debits to the charidee donations.
That’s when the threats of legal action started if he didn’t cough up.
Cunts, every last one of them.
10
I find it curious that Charities he was making voluntary donations to would threaten to sue, because of a cancelled donation.
Unless he’s been supporting his local gambling establishment, and told them he couldn’t make further contributions to his debt.
When I retired, I cancelled every contribution, not one of the charities threatened me.
2
Think RSPCA, Greenpeace and Battersea dogs home.
Evidently, once you sign up to a direct debit with these cunts you are then in contract for a minimum term
Break the contract, have the bailiffs round.
2
Greenpeace is an organisation of authoritarian nut jobs. The French showed us how to deal with Greenpeace a few years ago in New Zealand.
3
Cancer Research kept phoning to get more money. In the end I told them I was cancelling my direct debit due their persistent begging.
1
It’s about fucking time a law was passed making door to door sales and charidee illegal.
The last thing any cunt needs after a hard day’s work, is annoying cunts knocking on his door or ringing his bell every 20 minutes, when he’s just sat down with the family for dinner (ooh get me saying dinner and not tea).
I used to feel guilty bellowing “Just fuck off and don’t ever come back!” but not anymore.
Fuck ’em, disturbing my peace.
Bring a law in making it illegal and give any bastard trying it 20 years breaking rocks.
7
I’d go further than that in my charitable organisation reform bill.
No execs to receive more than X amount salary.
No company cars unless solely for business use and to be parked at a business address outside office hours and weekends.
No TV advertising unless proven to be absolutely essential to improve donations.
If permission is given, no TV add can exceed 20 seconds.
All administrative costs to be published annually.
Children in Need and Comic Relief to be banned from broadcasting.
And Soccer Aid.
Plastic S pastics society kids with callipers to be reinstalled outside every newsagent and corner shop in the UK.
I recommend these measures to the house.
8
Sounds good to me.
I’d also add no beaming footage of mistreated animals into people’s homes.
That shit gets to people and I’m always suspicious that some animals are harmed for the advert. That fucking donkey with the broken leg being forced up stairs with a big fuck off load in its back?
How about fucking helping it instead of fucking filming it? Just happened to be there to film it did you? From several angles? Up flights of stairs?
Makes you fucking wonder, doesn’t it?
However, if the charity said all donations would go to torturing animal abusers to death, I’d put my hand in my pocket for once.
10
Yeah.
Pisses me off when I’m trying to eat my tea.
I hate animal cruelty.
Foreign cunts are horrible to animals.
If they asked me for £20 to have that donkeys owner kneecapped I’d only be to happy.
8
There is a channel I might watch now and again (think it’s that ID or whatever, about police investigations into serious crimes). Some good documentaries on there, but every add break features animal cruelty adverts that go on for ages showing really upsetting shit.
Means I don’t ever watch that channel.
5
Like the BBC and ITV patting themselves on the back about their coverage of Ethiopia in the 80’s.
They could send Michael Buerk and a film crew, but not so much as a bag of flour.
As Sting once wrote. Too many cameras and not enough food.
6
Sending Dawn French over there was a piss take.
“Oi! Eefy! This is what 9 meals a day looks like!”
4
Not as much as them keep sending lenny henry back.
Think the cunt would take a hint..
5
Population of Ethiopia in 1984
35 million
Population now over 100 million and they are starving again. Need a castration program not fucking food.
11
I’ve just sent them a box of slimfast milkshakes.
5
You are all heart.
3
Hehe, I had one of those ‘do you think deaf….’
My answer, No thank you, that threw the fucker right off his stride
He tried again and got the same answer, it then sank in that he wasn’t going to make a sale.
Always be polite with a no thank you. 😂
All cunts
7
“Always be polite with a no thank you”
Hell no! Always be exceptionally rude and sweary!
11
And if you can get a punch in as well, even better.
4
When the canvassers come round for the next GE I may be a little more ‘rude’ 😂
1
we have 6 foot gates front and back, so now i can just yell fuck off without even having to put my cold beer down, also we have a Jack Russel Terrier, hes more likely to try and fuck you than bite you, but he looks and sounds the part and most people are weary of the old JRT, most are scared they will be subjected to one of those ferret up the trouser leg moments.
But these fucking urban hyenas turning up at your door to stitch you up piss me off, so say wiff of grape with the blunderbuss or cup of cold piss followed by the ferret…..your choice
7
Impressionable idiots sent about to knock on doors of the ordinary by unscrupulous cunts. They never solicit the private gates of the wealthy, do they.
The upper tiers running the charity are so adept at hiding the funds in as many loopholes as possible and also certain charadees get government funding on top. So its the Ritz for the executives because their expenses allows it.
I usually cut them of at there first utterances
“No thank you, I am not interested , goodbye”
That also includes energy providers, internet tv shit providers etc and all the time wasters out there, I want to scream F off but it is my front door after all
6
In a way, I feel sorry for the low echolon cunts.
Doesn’t stop me fucking them off, though.
7
I read on some Cumbrian online news site a couple of years back of a doorstep salesperson calling plod because of the abuse he received from the home owner as he tried to sign him up to a “emergency aid” charity.
A policeman duly arrived and the home owner had to open the door and explain his actions. He defended himself being being polite as possible to begin with, but didn’t want to sign anything. However eventually he blew his top and started shouting at the chugger to the point of telling him to “fuck off and die!”
The chugger (can’t remember his age but was in his 20s) was hurt and upset, hence the phone call to plod.
Policeman gave the owner a verbal warning “or else” and had to apologise to the chugger!
Not sure what happened after that, and the link has been removed. But it just serves as a warning that if you start shouting at people and calling them hurty words you could face arrest (just like that poor autistic girl a week or so ago)
10
The plod can try that with me. They’ll get even worse.
2
I meant to add also that one is definitely targeted by these operators.
They know the name and age of the occupants and probably a lot more
Old widows are a favourite
I see them with their list of addresses figuring it out as they enter a housing estate.
It should be illegal.
8
Mitherer-Will you be voting next Thursday?
What’s it got to do with you?
Mitherer-Hello have you got 5mins?
Well I was having a wank…
Mitherer- would you like your home insulated for free?
No . I’d prefer to pay .
Unlike you Im a proud man.
Mitherer- hello I’m from the salvation army
Hello, im from the Hitler Youth
Fuck em
9
Always makes me laugh.
2
Hitler youth?
What you discovered the fountain of youth in Stockport.
3
Meaner than a shithouse rat.
May they be buried up to their necks in festering mounds of pig crap.
5
A fucking massive Rottweiler usually shifts them quick smart.
At the front door: Always hold on to the hound’s collar and tell him he’s going for a walk and then explain that if they aren’t off the pathway in 30 seconds the dog will go straight through them.
In the high street: They approach and ask if you have five minutes to spare.
Hold on to the dog’s collar again.
“No. I don’t. The hound has steak for dinner tonight, he knows it and he sees anything keeping him from it as a threat”.
Christmas chuggers outside High street Ken station, dancing about like cunts, singing Christmas songs and shaking donation buckets (usually sooties).
Hold on to the dog’s collar and tell him to guard.
“Excuse me! Can you quieten down! The dog is Pagan and you’re really irritating him”.
Watch the crowds part like Moses parting the Red Sea.
5
If you are elderly and live alone like our JP,
You could use these mitherers to your advantage.
Missionary from Utah pops round wanting to talk religion?
Ok , I’m willing to listen but you have to hang out my washing and do the pots while we talk.
I’m elderly.
Result!👍
Oxfam after a direct debit?
Discuss it while they dig your 6ft by 4ft pond.
Liberal democrats canvassing?
Lag the loft.
They’d appreciate doing real work for a change.
6
I’ve missed a trick there, Mis.
Getting soft in my dottage.
1
If they’re Oxfam just turn any photos of grandchildren around.
1
Ask to read the terms and conditions. Should take half a day.
Vermin.
3
That reminds me whatever happened to the Sally Army coming round the pubs on a Saturday night selling the “Warcry”?
That was a good trick……wait until you are well oiled and then hit you with a guilt trip. Worked every time, especially if they were young birds with those sexy uniforms. Well, they seemed sexy when you were on your seventh light and bitter. You never see that these days. They should bring that back, although they are probably collecting for immos these days. In which case they can stick their Warcry up their arse.
6
I wouldn’t trust those shiny eyed god-botherers either.
In my home town, they had a good, sturdy red brick Victorian building as their home base of operations.
This was knocked down and replaced with a state of the art bible bashing, glass and steel construction twice the size.
If God is everywhere simultaneously, why does he need so many houses filled with gold?
5
This scam works in Wales because of our natural generosity and silly good nature. Doomed to fail with tight fisted Yorky cunts or Jocks.
I am currently sponsoring a herd of water buffalo being trained to piss in rusty buckets. You got to do your bit, like.
9
Do red bull know you have cracked their recipe?
4
It’s illegal for charities to knock on doors in Spain.
But that doesn’t stop thieves trying to rob you by pretending to be from a charity.
They often try to rob tourists on the terraces of bars.
One time one of these cunts was going table to table at the bar that I was in with Mrs Cunter.
He sat down with an English couple.
The barmaid watched and said to him in Spanish, “Just this one and then go”.
I went over and told the couple that the guy was a thief and fucked him off.
I then launched into one on the barmaid for allowing her customers to be robbed.
My friend owns the bar.
After I told him he sacked her.
11
Art.
There’s always some cunt, trying to rip you off.
You just have to be wise to it.
And well done, pity you didn’t kick ‘im in de fork.
6
They are everywhere.
The Senegalese ripping people off by selling sunglasses and sarongs on the beaches during the day and dodgy handbags in the bars at night.
Moroccans hawking all types of shit in bars and restaurants.
Many is the time when I have asked the restaurant owner why they allow tramps to sell rubbish to their customers both outside and inside the premises.
I tell the cunts that it’s a restaurant not a fucking bazar.
There is a woman that does the rounds, piling cheap plastic shit on your table even when you are eating.
I have no idea what nationality she is because she pretends to be deaf.
After I put all her crap in the bin and she had to fish it out, she doesn’t bother me again.
5
Eh? Post just disappeared into thin air.
1
I took my cut and passed the rest to Care4Calais. Thank you for your donation.
1
You are General Cuntster and I claim my five Confederate States Dollars.
1
I couldn’t be General Cuntster, HJ…he’s a darned, rootin-tootin Hilary-lovin’ liberal, blue on the outside, red on the inside…
Only kidding, GC….🇺🇸
1